Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

What was your biggest surprise when you came out (good or bad) ?


Heather Shay

Recommended Posts

  • Forum Moderator

I could not believe how much relief and how good it felt to stop hiding.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I think the biggest surprise was that the weight I'd been carrying just sort of vanished. It's amazing what you can do when you're not lugging around all that extra baggage. It felt like I could finally breathe and it was intoxicating.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

That is encouraging news for so many.

Link to comment

I'm out at work so:

 

Good: I felt so happy and comfortable. It was so relieving. And finally having a place I can use the men's restroom? It's amazing... the euphoria.

 

Bad: It hurts a lot more when people get it wrong. Also, my anxious a** kind of just gets really worried that since I'm out at work my parents will find out...

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Prepare they will have to be told at some time and much coming from you than someone else.

Link to comment

I came out first to a friend, about 5 or 6 weeks ago. The feeling was of incredible relief, like a huge weight off my belly and shoulders.

 

8 days ago I gathered the courage to come out to my partner. The conversation itself was suprinsingly civilized. The consequences are being terrible. I'm having such a bad time that I didn't even find the strength to post about it. She's shunned me. We used to text and talk a lot on the phone - that's gone. Now it's one or two neutral text messages a day, one phone call every 2 or 3 days (where she is always angry and I'm super sad) and we have only seen each other once in eight days, in a coffee place, and the conversation was similar to the phone calls (she, angry; me, sad). I'm feeling terrible. I love her and this is extremely sad for me. I'm having a very hard time.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
17 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

I think the biggest surprise was that the weight I'd been carrying just sort of vanished. It's amazing what you can do when you're not lugging around all that extra baggage. It felt like I could finally breathe and it was intoxicating.

 

Hugs!

This!   Fear at first but then freedom.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@Beatriz I am so sad to hear this but at least you are talking. My wife had a meltdown but a year later she is slowly coming around. Be kind and gentle and maybe she will come around but you still must do what is best for you.

Hugs

Heather Shay

Link to comment

This happened 6-7 years ago.   I came out to my partner---no problem, they are non-binary anyway.  I tried to keep  it from others around me because I thought they wouldn't understand.  I just couldn't retain my happiness and I let it out here and there and it just took off.   What surprised me most was that several people said they already knew without being told.     

Link to comment

How drastically my life changed for the better. Prior to this I was regularly miserable despite having gone through therapy and couldn't understand why I still felt the way that I did. Coming to terms with myself and coming out as a whole has dramatically improved my social and personal life overall. I would never take back embracing myself for who I am no matter what

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 132 Guests (See full list)

    • MirandaB
    • Mirrabooka
    • Ivy
    • Maddee
    • Betty K
    • AllieJ
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,024
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alscully
      Alscully
      (35 years old)
    2. floruisse
      floruisse
      (40 years old)
    3. Jasmine25
      Jasmine25
      (22 years old)
    4. Trev0rK
      Trev0rK
      (26 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ivy
      As has been said many times, this is not a black and white issue. Sure.  I get it that a MtF person that has gone through full male puberty and "transitioned" 6 months ago probably has an advantage in some sports.  But these bans affect elementary school kids too. I mean, banning trans women from Darts?  Chess?
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Do you have achievements you make to mark your progress to becoming the true you?
    • Heather Shay
      believing forward movement is just ahead.
    • Heather Shay
      Worry refers to the thoughts, images, emotions, and actions of a negative nature in a repetitive, uncontrollable manner that results from a proactive cognitive risk analysis made to avoid or solve anticipated potential threats and their potential consequences.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Willow
      Good morning    Now @Abigail Genevieve and @Mmindy what makes you so certain I didn’t mean it to say bee itch certificate?  lol. Thanks Mindy. I was asleep when you saw this and fixed it, and yes Abigail, as a moderator I could have fixed it myself, or weren’t you pointing out the irony of that?   I use Alexis as my alarm to get up.  And I set the ringer to be two guys telling me to get up.  I was so sound asleep when they started telling me to get up that it scared me and my first thought were I had over slept.  Since I have a difficult time getting to sleep as early as I have to in order to get enough sleep I at least cut back my normal awake time to get ready.  But now I have to do my hair and get going.   enjoyed my coffee and a little time catching up   see you all later, for its hi ho hi ho it’s off to work I go.   Willow
    • EasyE
      Republicans have long committed grave errors by emphasizing their social agenda and moral issues instead of just focusing on the economy, lowering taxes, keeping the public safe, building a strong national defense, promoting business, touting reasonable immigration policies, etc.   The country would thrive economically under Trump's tax and business policies. That's a fact. Another four years of Biden will run this country into the ground financially (including all of our 401Ks and IRAs). But the GOP continues to play right into the Dems' hands by leading with their moral crusades instead of staying the course and trusting their fiscal policies to win the day... 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/hundreds-athletes-urge-ncaa-not-ban-trans-athletes-womens-sports-rcna149033     Carolyn Marie
    • KymmieL
      Well first day is over and now getting ready for bed soon. Work was OK.   Don't know why but I am feeling down. I am heading to bed. Good Night.   Kymmie
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Boyfriend and I our time at my place.Both admit our sex life is good,got intimate for the 2nd time and he is good at it
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Thanks.  I will look those up in the document, hopefully tomorrow.   I always look at the source on stuff like this, not what someone, particularly those adversarial, have to say. 
    • MaeBe
      LGBTQ rights Project 2025 takes extreme positions against LGBTQ rights, seeking to eliminate federal protections for queer people and pursue research into conversion therapies in order to encourage gender and sexuality conformity. The policy book also lays out plans to criminalize being transgender and prohibit federal programs from supporting queer people through various policies. The project partnered with anti-LGBTQ groups the Family Policy Alliance, the Center for Family and Human Rights, and the Family Research Council. Project 2025 calls for the next secretary of Health and Human Services to “immediately put an end to the department’s foray into woke transgender activism,” which includes removing terms related to gender and sexual identity from “every federal rule, agency regulation, contract, grant, regulation, and piece of legislation that exists.” The Trump administration proposed a similar idea in 2018 that would have resulted in trans people losing protections under anti-discrimination laws. [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023; The New Republic, 2/8/24] Similarly, the policy book calls for HHS to stop all research related to gender identity unless the purpose is conformity to one's sex assigned at birth. The New Republic explains: “That is, research on gender-nonconforming children and teenagers should be funded by the government, but only for the purpose of studying what will make them conform, such as denying them gender-affirming care and instead trying to change their identities through ‘counseling,’ which is a form of conversion therapy.” [The New Republic, 2/8/24] The policy book’s foreword by Kevin Roberts describes “the omnipresent propagation of transgender ideology and sexualization of children” as “pornography” that “should be outlawed,” adding, “The people who produce and distribute it should be imprisoned.” Roberts also says that “educators and public librarians who purvey it should be classed as registered sex offenders. And telecommunications and technology firms that facilitate its spread should be shuttered.” [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023] Roberts’ foreword states that “allowing parents or physicians to ‘reassign’ the sex of a minor is child abuse and must end.” Echoing ongoing right-wing attacks on trans athletes, Roberts also claims, “Bureaucrats at the Department of Justice force school districts to undermine girls’ sports and parents’ rights to satisfy transgender extremists.” [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023; TIME magazine, 5/16/22] Dame Magazine reports that Project 2025 plans to use the Department of Justice to crack down on states that “do not charge LGBTQ people and their allies with crimes under the pretense that they are breaking federal and state laws against exposing minors to pornography.” [Dame Magazine, 8/14/23] Project 2025 also calls for the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services to repeat “its 2016 decision that CMS could not issue a National Coverage Determination (NCD) regarding ‘gender reassignment surgery’ for Medicare beneficiaries.” The policy book’s HHS chapter continues: “In doing so, CMS should acknowledge the growing body of evidence that such interventions are dangerous and acknowledge that there is insufficient scientific evidence to support such coverage in state plans.” [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023] Going further, Project 2025 also demands that the next GOP administration “reverse policies that allow transgender individuals to serve in the military.” The policy book’s chapter on the Defense Department claims: “Gender dysphoria is incompatible with the demands of military service, and the use of public monies for transgender surgeries … for servicemembers should be ended.” [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023]   …summaries of what’s within the rest of the document re: LGBTQ+ concerns. A person can believe their gender is fixed but incongruent with their physiology, but the authors and Trump (by his own words) just see the incongruity of an “expressed gender” that conflicts with what was/is in a person’s pants.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...