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Asked to be a godfather


DeeDee

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I have just been asked to be a godfather to my friend's child.

I became friends with them while studying for my theology degree at college. We play D&D together and I have not seen them in person for over two years now.

I know they will disown me when I come out, their denomination is still very anti women in ministry, let alone heavily anti lgbt+. 

I want to let them down gently but without coming out to them yet as that would cause more issues than it would solve.

I know when I say no they will ask why, but this is just not the time for them to know yet.

Has anyone got any similar experiences they can offer to help?

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  • Forum Moderator

That is such an awkward position.  I’d like to suggest honesty but understand you may not be ready for that.  I know I hid and made up excuses for years.  If however you do plan to come out over time perhaps that time might move forward a bit.  
Our first child had a godmother who became a “fairy godfather” almost 30 years ago. Certainly still loved he found peace with himself.  
Transition is one of those terribly awkward things that is so personal for all of us.  
All I can say is regardless of your decision take it easy on yourself.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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I have no first have experience. My godfather was (at the time) a friend of my dad who I never recall meeting.  Purely ceremonial.  You might thank them and say since you haven't seen them in a long time it might be better to select someone they are closer with such as a sibling or cousin.  Someone that will be in the child's life would be the best choice.  

 

Jani 

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Thanks Charlize, and Jani. I just sent a generic, "Thanks for the honour of asking, but I am going to have to say no."  I am already a godparent and the parents are quite happy with me being trans, but I just think it is wisest to give this a wide berth. 💜

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