Flatlining with the tuck. frustrated.

[swallow]

Hi All,

 

Today I noticed I've become a 'senior member' on this site...?

 

Not happy at all, makes me feel instantly old. ?

 

I still feel so young in this journey...

 

Just today, I went out to 'test the waters' with a new (too expensive) Gaff I bought from the UK. Turned out...It wasn't the Holy Grail.?

 

I put it on over a high waisted tummy control panty Over that the gaff...then don a (leave nothing to the imagination) pair of just above the knee Yoga pants.

 

And I was quite happy it look flat enough up front so I went out with more abandon.

 

I visited 3 markets without any discernible 'clocking'. Got a (non German reference) "hun" from one of the checkout ladies which I took it as I passed. Was wearing a crop tank top and a white translucent cotton shirt over so I suppose looked like a cover up over Athletic wear...

 

Later though when I returned, was comfortably seated with my legs bunched and tucked up for lunch on a chair when I looked down and noticed (Horror of horror) still a good size bulge.?

 

I just can't seem to flatten it fully without resorting to tape which I hate and avoid.?

 

I think I'm doing the right thing with the canals but maybe my testicle friends are too heavy or what bc they seem to never stay up....always falling for gravity.

 

Anyone think I might be not employing the Gaff to its full optimum? Maybe I'm doing something wrong??

 

...or is this common with everyone and does a more visually 'water tight' tuck mean having to tape when wearing skin hugging item of clothing anyway? Am I just being too slack reliant on gaff alone to do the work?

 

(Maybe this should be in the crossdresser section)

 

I'm contemplating the ills and benefits of an Orchiectomy (still yet to get on HRT) but till then, I'm obsessed with hiding the pair of them. They bother me but I don't want to hurt them either.?

 

 

 

[Petra Jane]

4 hours ago, swallow said:

Today I noticed I've become a 'senior member' on this site...?

 

Not happy at all, makes me feel instantly old. ?

Don’t worry, keep posting and you’ll soon move up a level!

 

ranks: https://transgenderpulse.com/forum-ranks

[KathyLauren]

In my tucking days, I found that a firm control brief was the most effective, comfortable way to tuck.  It wasn't perfect, but close enough that my crotch was not worth a second glance.  I also preferred to wear skirts, which avoided the issue altogether.

[Charlize]

I agree that a skirt covers a multitude of 'sins'.  After an orchi i barely need to tuck unless i'm in tights or very revealing pants. 

I'm glad you are avoiding tape.  If one lives as oneself taping soon causes major skin issues.  

 

I read the link from Petra Jane and certainly hope i learn to be quiet before i reach 50,000 posts?

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Ivy]

I have played with it, but never seriously.   I also prefer looser clothing and wear mostly skirts or dresses.   And then, I’m not particularly big to start with.  
it would be nice if it wasn’t an issue, but…

 

[VickySGV]

OK, two slightly different points of view. 

!) I am post op Vaginoplasty and I still "bulge " with tight fitting clothing on, partly because I need to lose some dead weight tonnage, and even cis women are not bulge free unless they are soda straw thin or are a plastic doll.  The tight undergarments actually emphasize what you want to hide by their bulk and you can pick up some yeast infections due to moisture build-up which will make you miserable for other reasons.  It is a case where less is better.  Your attitude that you want to go out with nice appropriate clothing on and just be you is miles ahead of the best tuck especially after you have forgotten that part of your body and are concentrating on being friendly to other people around you.

 

2) The audiences point of view-- If you were not self conscious and worried, how many other peoples crotches are you really looking at???  Are you doubting that they are the gender that they are???  Hopefully not, or you would not really be safe in public although I know there are such people.  Unless you are at a place we ungraciously call a Meat Market Club where casual sex is the object of the experience, no one is looking at your underside.  You mention the area you live in and we have some great places where you can go out and be with other LGBT people.  One or two are opening up again in the next week. At those venues the people around you may be admiring your dress, hair, or makeup, but no one cares about your Tuck appearance unless you want to advertise it. The music is playing and it is how you dance or your karaoke singing or even just how you applaud someone else for doing that that will be the thing.  You "passed" at the grocery store even bulging in the places you did, that is important to look at.  You were yourself, you were polite and friendly , and people's eyes were on your face which is where they belong, and more important until YOU looked down there, no one else noticed or cared.  

 

This is a post I made several years ago that I still stand by on the "Passing" shibboleth.

https://www.transgenderpulse.com/forums/index.php?/topic/43991-public-vs-picture/

[Ivy]

Excellent take on this, Vicky.

I don't really think about it when I'm out in public.  

(There's enough other stuff LOL)

[KathyLauren]

2 hours ago, VickySGV said:

even cis women are not bulge free unless they are soda straw thin or are a plastic doll.

 

Good point.  I found that, after surgery, I had a bigger bulge than I did before, at least for a few months until the swelling settled down.

[swallow]

Hi All,

 

Many thanks for  encouraging and common sense responses.

 

It's so weird bc prior to recent enhance return to more feminine desires....I did not care much about concealment.

 

In fact from High school onward, I was in boxers purely for comfort, in the case of in the military, I was often what we call "Commando" in the field (sans undergarment)?

 

And I don't have a problem if I was alone in the confines of my own room of course letting it all hang out. It is what it is and an inalienable part of my body anyway (at the moment)

 

But I really get 'picky' when in female attire which is now all the time.?

 

Luckily with lockdown and Covid, I have had more opportunity at home to parade in loose fitting PJ pants (I wear a Thai Fisherman's pants and an Indian thin Cotton Kurta (Talk about mix and match culture...hey its California)

 

I'm just glad to have feedback bc all these videos going on about tucking the friends in their canals, I feel I get them in very easily but they also come back down easy if I don't pull those undies high and tight.?

 

Hearing from everyone's comparative experience makes me at least feel I am not doing something entirely wrong, misinterpreting what they mean by up the canal with those vids. So many many thanks.

 

I suppose the ideal at the moment maybe a really unforgivingly tight gaff material but as you mention Vicky, don't want to get some sort of complication down there.

 

As at present, it's the tummy control panties followed by the gaff. I think I did a better job today but of course its hot and I'm in my dungarees which are more 'forgiving'.?

 

I guess its just the envy seeing women having that flatness there and I have to deal with the messy bits.?

 

It gets so obsessive sometimes. For that reason I am considering Orchiectomy before I do some damage to myself.

 

But you're right Vicky, no one seems to pay me much mind and I've been thus far going around in my own merry way. Long may that last! There's much to be said about being a little oblivious.?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[swallow]

....As if to compound matters of course, I am now more often wearing a bra (Strapless 34A)....I don't think anyone seems to notice...?

 

Certainly my kids don't seem to have noticed.?

 

Its another Psychological comfort thing where I feel the Bra is helping (imaginary or otherwise) to shape me better. It also provides a more positive mental state.

 

At least I feel that's what I am going to rely on saying if/when my kids finally call me out...I'll have them know my Therapist recommended it (not far off) and maybe that will be a good way to open the can of worms.

 

I really feel I can truly progress with my horrid voice only with the blessing of my kids bc they are closest and I don't want them to feel I am suddenly a different person to them (or embarrass them). but if they give me the go ahead/encouragement, I will feel more embolden to push with my voice better.

 

They're watching POSE season 3 again so hopefully it will have some sort of positive effect with acceptance. I am so nervous they will reject me (particularly my daughter). Its the only thing I truly care about.?

 

I was parading practically all day in those tight Yoga pants yesterday and  neither of them seem to make big issue of it so hopefully that's a good sign.?

[swallow]

...@Charlize, Petra...

 

50K? I feel like I'm already there!?

[Kathy2020]

On 6/15/2021 at 12:13 AM, swallow said:

Today I noticed I've become a 'senior member' on this site...?

Not happy at all, makes me feel instantly old. ?

OMG, is that what I have to look forward to, becoming a senior member one day? That is just plain wrong! How about we replace it with "Super Savvy," "Participation Expert," or just "Awesome!" I'm not sure I can deal with this kind of labeling... ?

[swallow]

Kathy, I fully concur.

 

Maybe 'Seasoned'??

[rainflower]

I'm non-op and have the bulge as well. Despite HRT I still get erections a lot and am bigger than a lot of cis men. I just wear certain things at home and certain things out. Some things I wear out, I still bulge, but it isn't too bad and I am ok with it.

[swallow]

Hi Rainflower,

 

I think I've got my tuck down for my leggings, particularly with new gaff. Mostly flat, although I think the other day some middle aged women were sniggering behind my back bc I had VPL. I wear tummy control panties which I bunch up at the back but sometimes they slip back to the sides and I appear to be wearing 2 underwear which I am of course...?

 

The one that I had issue with were these above the knee yoga shorts/leggings which I guess is a thinner stretchy  (less forgiving) material.  I guess I'm asking for it  with that one, quite the challenge. Its flat enough when standing but if I do any sort of squat, it ain't exactly too lady like.?

 

I'm not big or anything but its not non existent either unfortunately. Those pair of eggs like to follow gravity for some reason.?

 

I guess there are physical limits any more of which will mean Orchi or say reduction thru HRT.

 

Of course I prefer not to spend on that and have reservation about health.

 

If the community down there are tucked good and I appear clean down there, I have no problems. In fact I feel so good that I have another issue, not wanting to go to the toilet to pee since it will mean unravelling and re-doing the whole business again.?

 

I'm giving thought to the orchi but I have other priorities at the moment to cross, chiefly getting my son going on dental work etc... money needs to be managed and I'm just not priority if I can figure out how to tuck better at least for now.

 

 

[swallow]

Also thankfully, I'm not getting any spontaneous arousal (have not for quite a long while) which I guess is a good thing with the tuck.

 

In fact I just get a Great all round feeling of happiness when I get it right and am smooth, firmly in place.

 

It feels great to run my hands over the leggings.

 

Its an indescribable feeling of internal satisfaction.☺️

 

Its not of course that I am sexless in any way. I do get aroused but its a very different mechanics.

 

OTOH I seem comfortable untucked. But there is always a need to be tucked even when it is uncomfortable.

 

Such a complex state of affairs.?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[rainflower]

As always, your posts are very amusing and fascinating

[rainflower]

Also, with the leggings. I have one pair of leggings where the bulge is very slight and really not noticeable because of the pattern. My test is that, if there is a large outline from the side, or if they can see my mushroom stamp from the front, those aren't being worn in public haha.

[swallow]

Hmm...I never thought about that.

 

This is true, I think my hips also look a bit smaller with a darker colored legging and my ass looks fatter with a lighter colored one...I just have to remember to use the right colored underwear for each so they don't show through and of course the VPL...although at one point women were wearing whale tails with pride so maybe this might catch on...?

 

That short legging I have is simply zero forgiveness bottom line (no pun)

 

I feel like I've reached the physical limits of what's possible without damage or extensive tape (ouch ouch)??

 

That said, I am taking them for another test run tomorrow.