Introduction

[Brady Valentine]

Hello, I'm Brady. I'm 24 and I'm a trans man(FtM) from southern rural Michigan. I'm really happy to have found this group of fine people, as I don't know any other trans people near me. It's nice to have a place where I can be comfortable to share things and a space where I can express myself.  

I come from a small town and was raised in a very authoritarian/ religious/ conservative home. Because of this I'm still not out to most people. I've only come out to a few of my family members who I knew would be accepting. Over the past 3 years I've been seeing a therapist that's really heled me accept myself for who I am. And over the past several months I've been starting to prepare myself to come out to the rest of my family. I feel as though I need to come out to them a lot sooner than later, as I would like to begin HRT in the near future. But, I know coming out to the rest of them and more publicly is going to be extremely difficult for me. I'm a very timid person and VERY much a people pleaser. And I think many of my family members are going to be upset by my coming out and plans to transition. Especially my mother, who has a really hard time with respecting my boundaries as it is. 

I'm really terrified. But, I also know I need to do this for myself so that I can live my life to the fullest. 

Thank you for being here and thank you for your support! 

[VickySGV]

Welcome Brady, we have heard what you are saying many times, and talk the language with you.  Being Trans is not something you just decide to do to make other people uncomfortable.  We do it because we have to.

[Susan R]

1 hour ago, Brady Valentine said:

I'm a very timid person and VERY much a people pleaser. And I think many of my family members are going to be upset by my coming out and plans to transition. Especially my mother, who has a really hard time with respecting my boundaries as it is.

Hello Brady, It’s a pleasure to meet you. As @VickySGV mentioned above, your story is a very familiar one here and you’ll certainly find many answers, support and friendships given time and a little effort. I just want to assure you that even ‘people pleasers’ like yourself need happiness too. With many in our community, the real help begins with the first few steps you take for yourself. No one is going to make decisions for you that will parallel with exactly what you (and possibly your therapist or maybe a supportive partner) know is best for you to live as your authentic self. I think you are on the right track building a support system to help you build confidence as you move along your path. We are here to help any way we can. It’s nice to have you on board and hope to read more about your progress as it occurs.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

[Jackie C.]

Hello fellow Michigan person! Welcome to Transpulse!

 

As for the mom thing... my mom straight-up disowned me. Her loss, she doesn't get to meet her daughter. I just got on with my life, but left the door open if she wants to make amends. You can't live your life for other people. You need to be yourself or it will just eat you from the inside out.

 

Hugs!

[Delcina B]

Welcome Brady! Glad you're here. I relate to a lot of your story. It took me a bit longer to accept me as me. I have thought through telling my mom, not sure how that will go. She always wanted a little girl, but I don't think this was the bundle she expected the stork to deliver. I think you will find the love, support & advice here as helpful as I have.

 

Hugs!

Delcina

[Sandra6sandy9sand]

Hi Brady, welcome to the Forum. I also live in Michigan but way up north in the UP. I know you will learn a lot here and meet some great people.

 

Again welcome and hugs.

 

Sandra

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Brady,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

I'm in Michigan too! A religious sibling I was sure would not accept me has turned out to be very accepting.  We never really know what will happen. All hope is not lost. Hope for the best, and prepare for the worst. Good luck coming out. And remember, we're always here.

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

[Ivy]

Welcome Brady

[Nikki-C]

Hi Brady,

I love your name  ? .