Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Coming out and passing at new school


Benji C

Recommended Posts

 

Okay Its gonna be my first day of high school in the fall and I plan on coming out to my teachers beforehand and hopefully nobody who knew me before will be there... so I'm hoping to just be a boy in school and nobody will know otherwise since nobody knew me before... like a fresh start basically...

 

So I'm thinking... I have a second sports bra I could use as some kind of a binder but I don't know if it will do anything... it's not very comfortable though it doesn't hurt but If it doesn't do anything there's no point in wearing it... I have a beanie that I can kind of tuck my hair into and wear without cutting my hair... I'm gonna work on my voice which I've already made some progress on and I'm trying to work out and gain some muscle over the summer so I might have a more masculine shape... and I'll get some more clothes that aren't so feminine hopefully... my mom has been a little more open to letting me wear what I want so maybe she'll let me... and I've made kind of a packer out of a sock sock I doubt will stay all day but I could try...

 

The only problem is that my mom would never let me go out in public like that... so I'd have to change once I got to school and there's no real place to do that besides bathrooms... and i feel like it's gonna be awkward for me to use either bathroom and that's also a problem for the rest of school cause I don't know what bathroom to use... and also there's gonna be an orientation before school starts and it's not like I'm gonna bring everything there for an orientation and even if I did I don't know if I would have the time so some people might know I'm trans before school even begins... I might try to email a teacher or someone who works there about it before school if I can if not I'm just kinda -toasted- I guess and I'll have to figure it out myself...

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Benji, Good for you. Have you came out to your mom as trans? I wouldn't want her to find out from one of your new teachers. I don't know if a teacher has the obligation of privacy that a medical professional has. So you don't want your mom meeting with a teacher and saying, "OH, How long has______ been transgender." It could happen.

 

Kymmie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I'd definitely e-mail the school counselor. They might already have a policy in place and it's kind of their job to help you navigate High School while remaining sane.

 

Best of luck!

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
2 hours ago, KymmieL said:

Benji, Good for you. Have you came out to your mom as trans? I wouldn't want her to find out from one of your new teachers. I don't know if a teacher has the obligation of privacy that a medical professional has. So you don't want your mom meeting with a teacher and saying, "OH, How long has______ been transgender." It could happen.

 

Kymmie

Yeah I've been pretty worried about that... I did try to tell my mother before but she wasn't supportive so I've been trying to keep it a secret... but I did look up the countys trans policies with students and apparently they aren't allowed to tell the parents without the students permission but I guess anything could happen...but I don't think theres anything I can really do about it so I don't want to worry about it too much cause u don't want to chicken out and not come out... cause I only have 1 shot if not everyone will know I'm trans for probably all of high school...

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

I'd definitely e-mail the school counselor. They might already have a policy in place and it's kind of their job to help you navigate High School while remaining sane.

 

Best of luck!

 

Hugs!

Yeah once I know the counselors email I will probably try but I think it would be better if I did it a little closer to the school year but I'm not sure... I did look up the policies in my county and they are pretty good so I'm not too worried but I guess if the counselor isn't supportive or thinks telling my mother would be best for some reason then that would be bad..

Link to comment

Update: I looked up the guidance counselors email since I think it might be best just to know even if a while before school starts... of course they make this stuff impossible to find so I just emailed who I think is the guidance counselor asking if it was the right email... she hasn't gotten back to me but I should probably give her some time... if/when she answers I'm gonna ask her if she knows anything more about the trans student policies and ask her some questions relating to that to see if she knows...

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Excellent plan! Midoria would be proud. ?

 

Best of luck as well, I hope you receive overwhelmingly positive support from your new school.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Update: she still hasn't answered me email and I know it hasn't been that long but I don't know if she will... and I know it's a while before school starts but I'm still pretty worried... I guess my main problem right now is I wasn't too worried about bathrooms before but now I am cause I've never actually used to mens room before... like not even like a single person bathroom and it's kind of because I don't really go out without my family but even then I'm way too scared to use public bathrooms cause I know I don't pass and I don't want anyone to say anything or think anything bad...and I kind of don't want my first time doing that to be at school but I don't know where else I would get a chance... and I don't even know if I will be allowed I mean I ready the county policies but I dont know what the school will do their rules might be different... I guess I'll have to ask someone at school when I get the chance...

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

For your own safety I sincerely hope there is a unisex restroom, hopefully single occupancy, that you can use. High school boys are... well they're not great even if they're cis. I just want you to stay safe.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Yeah I know I've been worried about that but I don't know what options my school has... I've been meaning to ask bit nobody at school answers anything...

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Update: I keep reading reviews of my school online apparently a lot of other people have had problems with counselors not being available or not answering.... so I guess my best option is to see if the principal or something knows anything or to ask my teachers when I know who they will be... but I don't know if they're gonna know anything or how they will react....

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

So counselors are still... well, my guidance counselor... I couldn't tell you what he actually did. He had an office...

 

Anyway, all you can really do is try and power through. You'll work it out. Just be safe and be yourself.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Update: Wow a month later she gets back to me... I'm gonna try and ask her what I was originally planning on asking her and I'll see if she knows anything... hopefu

Link to comment

I submitted that too fast... hopefully it won't take another month for her to get back to me...

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Good luck!

 

I'd HOPE she knows the school's trans policies. I mean what the heck else are they for?

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Update: she replied again a few hours ago and here's what she said... I'm gonna try to do what she said and get into contact with her a little more to see if she knows anything else and can help me more...

Screenshot_20210802-120332_Brave.jpg

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

That's about the best response you could hope for. Support and a promise of help. Congratulations!

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
7 hours ago, Benji C said:

Update: she replied again a few hours ago and here's what she said... I'm gonna try to do what she said and get into contact with her a little more to see if she knows anything else and can help me more...

Screenshot_20210802-120332_Brave.jpg

Smiling big?for you!

Link to comment

Update: I talked with the counselor in person today she said she could help me with coming out at school... since I can't have my mother know she couldn't change any official documents or anything but I can just tell my teachers my name and pronouns and right now I'm just deciding if that's going to be in person or in an email..

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Noice! Congratulations! Accolades! All the good stuff!

 

I'm glad your school is supportive. It means I don't have to come down there and straighten 'em out. ?

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Benji C said:

since I can't have my mother know

seems you are saying that you are coming out to your school administration but not to your mom? why don't you want your mom to know? doing this alone at your age is really sad. thank you. :)

Link to comment
2 hours ago, April-Showers said:

coming out to your school administration but not to your mom?

I'm a little concerned that this might get back to your mom somehow.

Just something to consider.

Link to comment
4 hours ago, April-Showers said:

seems you are saying that you are coming out to your school administration but not to your mom? why don't you want your mom to know? doing this alone at your age is really sad. thank you. :)

My mother Isn't supportive so I can't tell her...

3 hours ago, Jandi said:

I'm a little concerned that this might get back to your mom somehow.

Just something to consider.

Yeah I have thought about that but I do want to be out at school and I don't want to pretend to be someone else anymore...

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 121 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • Ivy
    • Wasylyna
    • DeeDee
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,940
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Raelyn
    Newest Member
    Raelyn
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. **Angela Charlotte **
      **Angela Charlotte **
    2. Carlie
      Carlie
      (63 years old)
    3. Cbxshawn
      Cbxshawn
      (49 years old)
    4. HannahO
      HannahO
      (31 years old)
    5. JustKatie
      JustKatie
      (40 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ashley0616
      Wow that is a high number for Estradiol good grief! Testosterone levels are better than mine. I don't remember my Estradiol level but testosterone was 80. To me that is really high but it was in the two hundreds the check in before last one. 
    • Ivy
      I don't understand why this would make a difference being a "dad" I mean, as far as how they would grow.
    • Ashley0616
      I don't see why not. I have worn forms since I came out. 
    • MaeBe
      I have never worn breastforms, but I assume as long as they don't aggravate your nipples you could.
    • MaeBe
      Every week I've been excited to take my shot, so it's never been an issue. Yesterday, however, I woke up and started my usual "slow roll" and then suddenly realized I had breakfast plans that I had to rush out the door for. After, it was straight into work calls, and then I got the notification from the doctor about things being too high and all the while my mind had completely slipped that I needed take my shot.   Given that I am not asking for medical advice, but sharing my journey, I will note my results: Estradiol at 447 pg/mL and Testosterone was 23 ng/dL, up and down from 26 pg/mL and 526 ng/dL respectively before treatment. Almost flipped the bit! The doc would like my Estradiol closer to 300 pg/mL, so we'll see what Monday's tests state.   Oh, and I teased the dinner with old soccer teammates and never updated the thread! It went well. There were a couple funny moments. One guy, who I was worried about their response, greeted me with "Hey, you've lost some weight!" 😎 And a friend who lives near me picked me up on the way to dinner exclaimed, after we learned one of the invitees might show up with a date, "Wait! We could have brought women?!" To which I instantly responded, "You kind of did, bringing me!" Everyone got a good laugh out of that. 😁
    • Ashley0616
      To me there isn't that much difference other the measurement, which side the zipper is on and men's pants have bigger pockets. 
    • missyjo
      I hope this is not stupid question..I have yet to start n not sure if doc will approve..but once you start growing buds n such, can you still wear forms to get to the size you were?   I'm a dad, so when I start blossoms they will be smaller for a long time n probably need surgical augmented..that's fine. I don't want to go ddd to aa to ddd..   any ideas?   thank you
    • missyjo
      April sounds fun..I keep some boy jeans to visit mom in..fir now   hugs
    • Ivy
      I like them too.  We had them growing up.  But my father's family were Swedes.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Oh my!  I guess it just goes to show how different tastes can be. Since we don't live near the ocean, Seafood is a rare luxury. We absolutely love pickled herring! Especially my husband and my GF, I guess it's a Ferman/Russian cultural thing.  But most of the kids like it too, and a jar wouldn't last in the pantry for long 😆
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I think the key to that is just not minding eating the same thing repeatedly. Since we produce a lot of our own food here, we end up eating what is in season at the moment. So, when the yellow squash is ripening, we end up fixing squash 20 different ways. When the strawberries are ready, we eat lots of strawberries. It's kind of a different mindset to eat in season when it has become such a part of American culture but the grocery store has everything we want all the time. Like grapes in December.  My family does even things out a little bit by having a greenhouse so we have some fresh things in the winter, but it's not a 100% fix.
    • KathyLauren
      My brothers and I had to eat what was on the plate.  All of it, and nothing else.  Pickiness was not tolerated.  Some of our least favourite were liver and onions, sauerkraut, and especially rollmops (pickled herring).  We finally protested enough to persuade our mother not to serve rollmops, though she kept a jar in the pantry for years afterwards, as a threat if we didn't behave.
    • Carolyn Marie
      I'll go first.  My favorite team is the Yankees.  Loved them since I was a kid.  I was born in NYC so, yeah.  I know everyone loves to hate them, and that's OK.  I just love baseball in general.  It's a game of traditions, strategy, power, grace and skill.   Play Ball!!  ⚾   Carolyn Marie
    • Ashley0616
      I guess you do have a good point. It's just hard to try and not have the same meals over and over again. 
    • Willow
      Hi   I’ll weigh in on being picky about food.  Yes, and I was brought up that way.  We didn’t have to eat everything our parents ate.  They had a number of things they ate that they figured we wouldn’t eat, an acquired taste things or one or the other didn’t like them too.   even as an adult there are many things I won’t eat.  In my defense, there are different things my wife won’t eat.   the weird thing is that after being in E, my tastes have changed.  Sweet, sour, salty or bland, if I eat or drink too much of any one thing and I have to counter act it.   Willow
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...