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First time Out


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Hi everyone,
So Saturday night I went to my first transgender support group meeting and it was so awesome. Being pre-everything this was my first time going out side of my house fully dressed, and when I left my house for the 34 mile drive I was scared as hell. This group of people were so warm and accepting and immediately made me feel at home. In fact for the first time in my life I actually didn’t feel like an outsider having to pretend to be someone else. By the end of the evening I felt so comfortable that on my way home I stopped at a drive through to get a snack that I went through still fully dressed and the sweet girl at the window addressed me as ma’am, even though I don’t think I was passable it made me happy to be addressed that way. I have now found a another family and a great support group to lean on during my transition along with this great group, and that makes me even more excited to move forward.

 

Billie

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@Billie75B You go girl! That's awesome! My first SG meeting was yesterday, and ditto everything except the drive-thru.

 

Hugs!

Delcina

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That's great @Billie75B! It sounds like it was a great experience. I might have my first support group on Friday, which makes me excited and nervous.

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  • Forum Moderator
12 hours ago, Billie75B said:

I went to my first transgender support group meeting and it was so awesome. Being pre-everything this was my first time going out side of my house fully dressed, and when I left my house for the 34 mile drive I was scared as hell.

Oh @Billie75B Congratulations! Your post brings back memories for me. Like you, the first time I went out in public as my true self, I too was scared as hell driving into downtown Seattle to my ‘first ever’ trans support group. I had never met another trans person up to that point…that was 36 years ago. I remember thinking everyone on the road must know I was crossdressed…lol Getting out of the car and walking a block to the meeting was even worse. But we all get past these difficult milestones and it gets easier every time. I’m very excited for you. I think the worry and butterflies you felt Saturday night will soon be a thing of the past and those feelings will be replaced with feelings of freedom and joy.

 

My Best,

Susan R🌷

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  • Forum Moderator

That was a positive experience for certain. Unfortunately my experiences were different.

   My first trip out was to a gay bar that i somehow heard had a "ladies night".  I dressed to the nines with a long blond wig, short skirt and 3" heels.  A few shots got me headed out the door.  When i arrived it turned out i had to navigate a rough gravel driveway and i'd arrived hours early.  A guy tried to pick me up after buying me a drink.  When other girls arrived i was well loosened up and think i danced.  I really can't remember much but making it home i knew wanted to go back!.  I was drinking heavily at the time so gay bars seemed to be perfect.  Unfortunately i never confronted my issues even if i had "come out".

  Keep enjoying your support group!  

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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9 hours ago, Susan R said:

I remember thinking everyone on the road must know I was crossdressed…

@Susan R OMG I was the same way going down I35 toward Waco I just knew cars I passed or that passed me must be staring at me, but as I traveled on I found that most people were staring straight ahead and I relaxed a little for the last part of the trip.

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I've been in online zoom meetings, but yet to meet another trans person (that I know about) in person.

I want it so bad.

I do get out in public but I'm alone or with a cis friend.

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@Jandi I am fortunate that there is a support group close to where I live, other wise I would have to drive to Austin. It was my first time meeting other trans people in person and it was really nice to be in the company of like people and not to feel so alone. I also have a new trans girl friend and we talk on the phone because she lives in New Mexico but we have become very good friends. 

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  • 2 months later...

Congrats @Billie75B on having a wonderful first night out! I truly believe having a few good first experiences sets your mind in the right place for all the stuff yet to come. The fact that you doubled up and went to your first support group meeting too is awesome! If you haven't figured it out yet, the most important thing we all need is a good support system, and if the attendees were warm, accepting, and fun to be around then you are on a really good path! Continue to have fun exploring as your true self and keep us up-to-date on the adventure! 🙂

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Such an inspiring story! Congratulations! I had a similar group, but because of the pandemic, it’s been nearly two years since our last gathering. 

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On 6/21/2021 at 3:19 PM, Billie75B said:

I stopped at a drive through to get a snack that I went through still fully dressed and the sweet girl at the window addressed me as ma’am, even though I don’t think I was passable it made me happy to be addressed that way.

I've only stopped at a drive though once when I was all dolled up and everyone just kinda acted a bit weird and didn't know what to say lol. However, I've been out to a movie and to a concert and the people were really nice at those places and complimented my dress etc. :) Some guy at the concert came up to me and my trans girlfriend and said to let him know if anyone gave us any problems; so I guess we had our own personal body guard at that point. :P My worst experience going out so far was going to get a key made at Walmart and some older guy just stopped in his tracks and stared at me for like 30 seconds and then kept on his merry way lol. 

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