Should I come out to my line manager?

[SpongeBobFan]

Hi! I'm trans MtF. At this stage it's going to be a while before I could possibly be on hormones, though I'm growing out my hair. Eventually I'm due to be referred to a gender identity clinic where they'll determine if I can go on HRT. I also plan to have laser hair removal surgery for my beard and moustache sometime this year. But that's not really the point. I currently work in an office environment, and though I don't plan to come out to the office anytime soon, I do wonder when or if I should inform my line manager whenever I can.

 

My reasoning being she's pretty progressive and could potentially help me whenever I do come out to everyone else at work. My other reasons being that whenever I do go to the gender identity clinic, there's going to be plenty of days I'll need off work, and she should probably at least know the reason. Anyway, what do you all think? As I'm someone who's not near HRT, when should I begin to come out to her? Should I avoid it?

 

Additional question: How did you all come out at work?

[tracy_j]

It's a tricky one, to be sure, and, without being there, not easy to judge. I think that you really need to think about other people at work too. I am not suggesting coming out to them. More of gauging how things would go with them.

 

With respect to your line manager, it may be easier when you have some facts, rather than early plan although, on the other hand, she will be happier if she's able to take it as it comes like yourself.  It's good to be looking into it early though as she will need to know and would likely be happier that it comes from you than via someone else. I do wonder if she may take it easier when you have a more feminine look (no beard or moustache for instance) but it should not make any difference. It's judging the person! Another point you should think of is the rest of the organisation. Is there good support for trans people? How are HR? Check out company policies etc. I am not wanting to sound negative, just suggesting that you have the whole picture as, for instance, if your manager leaves will you still be in a good position?

 

In my case, I think things gradually crept in as I grew my hair and started using makeup before I  came out. The point that I fully came out was actually in a departmental meeting and so to all the department and manager at once, when my manager asked if we could use a home email address for testing of a patient care system. I put forward my female email address, which obviously got the odd comment but no-one was particularly surprised. I would not suggest anyone do things so openly though. I worked in healthcare which has a good background for trans support. People were also used to my occasional bombshells too!

 

Sorry I cannot be of more help but at least you may get some ideas.

 

Tracy

[MiraM]

I had been on HRT for a while before I came out to my manager or anyone at work.  It was when I was close to being homeless, and my manager suggested that we be roommates to help each other out that I came out to her.  I felt she needed to know that I was trans and on track to transition at that point.  It was then that I slowly started to come out to a few people in my department and the store management, I began to wear eye makeup to work.  Most of my coworkers knew that I had been into the punk scene at one point and had seen pictures of me with makeup on, and figured I was getting back into that.  I had socially transitioned outside of work at that point, with a date in mind to transition at work and we had a department meeting.  I told the store management that I would be attending the meeting in female dress, as I had an appointment before hand and would not have time to change.  That is how I came out to the rest of my coworkers, ands began living truly full time as the real me.

 

For me, it did not make sense to fully come out to my managers or coworkers until they really needed to know.  In my opinion, there is no need to tell them until you at least have some sort of transition plan in place and it gets closer to coming about.