Interviewing a New Therapist Soon (Gender Therapist)

[Davie]

 

@Astrid

OK. Still nervous about it . . . but I do follow through on things so,

I've managed to get a GT appointment at Fenway Health: time and date and all that.

I expect she'll be asking a few questions, but what should I ask?

I googled her and she's young . . . hm, not so good.

And she's new . . . only two months into it.

Not sure of her trans experience . . . That's a good question, I'd say.

What else? Don't know.

My plan is to show up, be honest and open. And a few questions for her, too.

See you in August with new pronouns. Or not. Uncertainty wins the day.

— Davie

[Astrid]

@Davie

4 hours ago, Davie said:

but I do follow through on things

 

Nice to hear the news about this! 

 

Following through is such an important way to maintain progress going on your journey.  Like many of the milestones we pass, we're more worried before we reach it -- followed by a reduction in stress when we realize that reaching that milestone both helped us and buoyed our confidence.

 

If you haven't been to Fenway Health before, I think you'll find it very supportive.  Your GT there may be young, but I'm very sure she wouldn't have been hired unless she's well qualified within the field of gender therapy, not just therapy.  Within two months, at six to eight appointments per day, she'll already have worked with a wide range of patients.  But you'll soon be able to judge if it's a good fit.  Some folks do move on to another therapist, and that's fine.

(One of the best medical decisions I ever did was to 'fire' my male (and gender insensitive) PCP and find a female PCP (at the same office!) who had interned at Fenway Health during her rotations.)

 

4 hours ago, Davie said:

I expect she'll be asking a few questions, but what should I ask?

 

It's perfectly fine to ask her that directly within the first meeting or two:  "What should I ask?", and her answer will help guide you.

 

Particularly early on, I expect she'll want to get to know your story, for as far back and in such detail as you wish to share.  So you'd be talking more than asking.  

 

I know that I jotted down a moving list of questions that seemed important to me, and had them available in my purse in case I needed to refer to them.  

 

And remember, the goal is not to have her assess you and declare you to be [insert label here].  It's for you to become fully aware of all the myriad possibilities that there are on the gender spectrum, for you to consider which one(s) seem to fit you best, but to mainly be a happier person, no matter how you express yourself.  

 

Good to hear that you're going to a good place! ?

 

Best wishes!

 

Astrid

 

 

[Davie]

1 hour ago, Astrid said:

@Davie

 

Nice to hear the news about this! 

 

Following through is such an important way to maintain progress going on your journey.  Like many of the milestones we pass, we're more worried before we reach it -- followed by a reduction in stress when we realize that reaching that milestone both helped us and buoyed our confidence.

 

If you haven't been to Fenway Health before, I think you'll find it very supportive.  Your GT there may be young, but I'm very sure she wouldn't have been hired unless she's well qualified within the field of gender therapy, not just therapy.  Within two months, at six to eight appointments per day, she'll already have worked with a wide range of patients.  But you'll soon be able to judge if it's a good fit.  Some folks do move on to another therapist, and that's fine.

(One of the best medical decisions I ever did was to 'fire' my male (and gender insensitive) PCP and find a female PCP (at the same office!) who had interned at Fenway Health during her rotations.)

 

 

It's perfectly fine to ask her that directly within the first meeting or two:  "What should I ask?", and her answer will help guide you.

 

Particularly early on, I expect she'll want to get to know your story, for as far back and in such detail as you wish to share.  So you'd be talking more than asking.  

 

I know that I jotted down a moving list of questions that seemed important to me, and had them available in my purse in case I needed to refer to them.  

 

And remember, the goal is not to have her assess you and declare you to be [insert label here].  It's for you to become fully aware of all the myriad possibilities that there are on the gender spectrum, for you to consider which one(s) seem to fit you best, but to mainly be a happier person, no matter how you express yourself.  

 

Good to hear that you're going to a good place! ?

 

Best wishes!

 

Astrid

 

 

@Astrid Thanks so much. This couldn't be a better response. I feel better about the whole thing now. Change is always scary, yes. And I am more worried at the beginning. I love my old therapist, but she endorses this change, too. I'll keep you in the loop. "The crosswalk that felt like a cliff."

Deep breath. Onward.

hugs all,

Davie

[Davie]

So . . . sadly, I said goodbye to my therapist of two years today. I really love Rachel and she really has helped my coming out and transition. And talked me down from traumatic situations this year. Bye bye, dear. 

 

And tomorrow I start with a gender therapist, that's also a change.

Is change good?

We'll see.

 

-- Davie

[Lexi C]

Congrats Davie

I know in California finding a TG whose cover under my M.I  is tough. So I am happy you have found someone,

Astrid is right; have questions, but more important is listen.

Good Luck

[Charlize]

That is a big change Davie.  When i started going to a GT i found out how serious i was about simply being the person who had always been there hiding.  Best of luck.....enjoy!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Davie]

2 hours ago, Charlize said:

i found out how serious i was about simply being the person who had always been there hiding.

 

Thanks, @Charlize

Yes, exactly the right question, but no hurry to answer it. I don't need it soon as much as I need it correct. "Hiding" that's scary, but I hope liberating and a chance at happiness.

I'll let you all know how it goes. Today is the first meeting.

Cheers,

Davie

[Davie]

OK. I had my GT therapy today.

So the post-therapized me: Still the same, I guess, but it went well. I don't have any previous GT to compare it to, but she answered my questions and hopes pretty well. Mostly, I like how open she is to my own strange story. It compared well with therapy I've had before. She seems well-versed in the gender process, though her experience is only a few months. I can always change my mind, but I made another appointment. I guess I'm on the road to somewhere, hopes up, thumb out . . . headed for Woodstock (The Trans Version).

Wish me luck . . . and identity.

-- Davie

[Heather Shay]

Glad it went well. Having someone you feel is helping and listening is important. As with any relationship, it will take time to nurture. Thumbs up Woodstock (the Snoopy type ? )

[Astrid]

2 hours ago, Davie said:

Mostly, I like how open she is to my own strange story.

 

@Davie That's good to hear! I'm not at all surprised to hear you say that...The staff is very accepting at Fenway.

 

And the more we all learn about each other's strange stories, the more common threads we encounter, and the less strange it may become.  

 

A wave and best wishes from 

 

Astrid 

[Davie]

Thanks @Astrid and @Shay for being with me in spirit today. Being in a supportive group like this takes the "alone-ness" out of things. Made me feel relaxed enough to be open to my own story—and that made for a meaningful experience. I even cried a little at one point—surprised myself. And then I got to share about it later at the Fenway Trans Zoom meeting. My trans story is beginning to feel integrated into my life now. Apparently, I'm not some freak accident of nature after all. ?

hugs,

Davie

[Heather Shay]

You are ABSOLUTELY not a freak accident of nature. You are an incredibly talented person living at the right time and place and sharing your hopes and dreams and talents with those who need you.

Hugs

Heather

[Davie]

Thanks, Heather.

 

@Shay