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BebopMaster

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Hello All! I am BebopMaster and I am new around these parts. 

 

I decided to join a Transgender forum because I've been having questions about myself and my life and I've been wonder if I am indeed Trans myself. 

 

I was born a biological male and was always attracted to biological women, but I think back to my past and the thought in my mind is that I am really a woman, but I'm not sure. 

 

When I was 7, I put on my sister's Princess Jasmine costume and showed it off to my parents and sister. They took it as kind of a joke, but was I compelled to wear it? 

 

When I was in College, most of my friends were biological females and I felt more comfortable with them than I did with biological males. Is this because I felt I had more in common with them than with what I thought was my own gender. 

 

Things like this stick out in my mind and it leaves me wondering, so I leave it all to you. What do you think? 

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  • Root Admin

Hello BebopMaster,

 

Welcome to TransgenderPulse. Thank you for sharing with us. Feel free to browse around and ask whatever questions you may have. We'll do our best to provide answers.  From what you have said, there is a good chance that you are indeed transgender. I would recommend counseling with a gender therapist. He or she can help you sort your feelings out and set you on a path that is right for you.

 

MaryEllen

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  • Admin

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Bebop.  I agree with what MaryEllen told you, including that it sounds like you're likely TG.  But we can't judge for sure, which is why its best for you to see a Gender Therapist.  I hope you like it here.  We'll do our best to help you.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn  Marie

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I was going to post my intro but I felt compelled to respond to Mary Ellen.  

 

I was around 10 when I began cross dressing. One differnence is, I feel more comfortable around males, particularly working class aka men's men. My mother very very abusive both physically and mentally to 3 of her kids. I'm a bit scared of women. The woman is was most comfortable around transitioned about 12 years ago. 

 

I don't know what I am exactly. 

 

 

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On 8/18/2021 at 7:49 AM, BebopMaster said:

When I was 7, I put on my sister's Princess Jasmine costume and showed it off to my parents and sister. They took it as kind of a joke, but was I compelled to wear it? 

 

When I was in College, most of my friends were biological females and I felt more comfortable with them than I did with biological males. Is this because I felt I had more in common with them than with what I thought was my own gender. 

As already mentioned, only you yourself can determine if your transgender but you have made a strong case for it based on the above. Your therapist can help you further determine if you might be helped by making gender related changes in your life. For myself, it was a no brainer.

 

I can say that the need to present female at a young age was persistent with me as well. I always preferred the feminine over the masculine. Like you, I felt much more comfortable around girls/women. I could relate to their issues more than my own guy issues. Men seemed crass and one dimensional socially. I faked my male persona for over 50 years and it was never the real ‘me’. This doesn’t mean you’re transgender at all. They are only anecdotal similarities but show a pattern of behavior that many of us here have experienced in our lifetime.

 

One thing you didn’t mention is whether of not these feeling are interfering with your life in a negative way. If not and if you’re curious, you may still want to get a professional opinion. You might learn more about where you are on that gender spectrum or find out you’re more fluid than at a single point on it. All of us are different. You may decide that you don’t need to make any changes in your life to live and present on that spectrum. Change and transition isn’t for every transgender person.

 

On 8/18/2021 at 7:49 AM, BebopMaster said:

Things like this stick out in my mind and it leaves me wondering, so I leave it all to you. What do you think?

My personal opinion (which means nothing) is that you might be transgender. Your signing up here with us and looking for answers to this question in itself is not something many cis people do just out of the blue. Regardless, I am glad you joined us and are doing a little soul searching. There’s a lot of good support here and you might gain some good insight just perusing the threads….not to mention meeting some really nice people along the way.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R🌷

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi BebopMaster,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf🐾

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Hi, @BebopMaster.  Welcome!

 

I am not sure we have enough information to tell you that you are or aren't transgender, but I would say there is a good chance that you are.  I agree with the advice above to seek out a gender therapist.  Helping you figure out this stuff is what they do.

 

Regards,

Kathy

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3 hours ago, KathyLauren said:

Hi, @BebopMaster.  Welcome!

 

I am not sure we have enough information to tell you that you are or aren't transgender, but I would say there is a good chance that you are.  I agree with the advice above to seek out a gender therapist.  Helping you figure out this stuff is what they do.

 

Regards,

Kathy

I tend to think that gender is on a continuum. I think a lot of folks are stuck in the middle.  What happens then?  

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2 hours ago, Sometimes Chrissie said:

I tend to think that gender is on a continuum. I think a lot of folks are stuck in the middle.  What happens then?  

 

Indeed it is.  Few people, if anyone, are at the extremes.  I consider myself extremely binary, and yet I know I am probably only 90% or 95% female.  Plenty of people are less binary than me, so are closer to the middle of the spectrum.

 

My advice is the same: see a gender therapist to help you figure it out.  I wouldn't consider being non-binary to be "stuck".  Where you are on the spectrum is your own decision, and you can always change your mind if you think you understand yourself better than before.

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Welcome bebopMaster

 

16 hours ago, Susan R said:

Your signing up here with us and looking for answers to this question in itself is not something many cis people do just out of the blue

Yeah, this.

 

1 hour ago, KathyLauren said:

Few people, if anyone, are at the extremes.  I consider myself extremely binary, and yet I know I am probably only 90% or 95% female.

I started out calling myself non-binary, but I've been migrating toward female ever since.  

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@Jandi 
I love your outfit - love the whole look - you look beautiful....

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Thank you everyone for the kind words and welcome!

 

And thank you for the advice. 


I do have a question as I am new to all of this. What exactly is a gender therapist and what is the spectrum everyone talks about? 

 

Thanks! 

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2 hours ago, BebopMaster said:

I do have a question as I am new to all of this. What exactly is a gender therapist and what is the spectrum everyone talks about? 

 

Thanks! 

 

A gender therapist is a trained therapist (usually with a psychology or social work degree) who has additional training in gender issues.  A good qualification is if their gender training is certified by WPATH, the World Professional  Association for Transgender Health.  They are the body that sets the standards for transgender care.

 

The gender spectrum is a way of looking at gender that has male at one end, female at the other, and all kinds of non-binary variety in the middle.  Although society usually considers everyone to be at one end or the other (male or female, with no other options allowed), the reality is much more varied.  Almost no one is all the way at one end or the other.

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Welcome BebopMaster! This is a wonderful place to explore your gender, as has been mentioned a gender therapist has been very helpful as well. I found the book You & Your Gender Identity by Dara Hoffman Fox insightful, they read it on YouTube. Glad you're here, have fun exploring.

 

Hugs!

Delcina

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On 8/19/2021 at 2:33 PM, Shay said:

@Jandi 
I love your outfit - love the whole look - you look beautiful....

Ditto Heather, Jandi! Looking beautiful!

 

Hugs!

Delcina

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you again everybody for the kind words. 

 

As a quick update, I consulted with a gender therapist and he was against me transitioning. He said that my confusion likely stemmed from some other psychological issues. So that's kind of where I am right now. He seems nice and I'm seeing him again soon. 

 

Hopefully I can get this figured out. 

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Hi Bebop, it is good that you have found a therapist. Exploring the issues around why you started questioning is a good idea. Ultimately it is a journey of self discovery so your end goal is to find out where you feel most comfortable as yourself. The advice I was given (and believe) is that cis people do not ever feel a need to question their gender identity, but that does not automatically mean you will end up transitioning. Good luck!

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5 hours ago, DeeDee said:

Ultimately it is a journey of self discovery so your end goal is to find out where you feel most comfortable as yourself.

 

Yes, very true. I like to frame it in a Marie Kondo context: What sparks joy?

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I like hard science and diagnosis based on hard signs if possible. Brain scans can tell us a lot about gender and sexual orientation. They may not give us the whole picture but it's a place to start.

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8 hours ago, Sometimes Chrissie said:

They may not give us the whole picture but it's a place to start.

It's complicated

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Hi @BebopMaster here is a pretty good explanation to the current working theory that may help you. It is extremely simplified and he takes 10-12 minutes to get to the actual science, but basically there are now published peer reviewed studies that show a correlation between cis and trans folk in the way their brains scan (cis men and trans men have similar processing patterns etc).

When you add that evidence to the studies showing fetal hormones developing the brain and physical body in separate stages during development (which has been known and documented for decades) it helps to make sense of the reality of gender and sex spectrums.

Ultimately though only you know how you feel and no scan can tell you what feels right for you and gender expression and roles are very much tied to tradition and culture in societies.

For me personally it just helped to emphasise that all of my thoughts and feelings were not just inside my mind and there could be genuine medical reasons for feeling not quite right in my skin for my entire life which also helped inform my choice to look into the practical effects HRT.

 

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I am not sure if brain scans will (ever) take the place of a well-trained therapist.  It would certainly be reassuring to believe you are transgender and have a brain scan that backs it up.  But what happens if you believe you are transgender but the brain scan says you aren't?

 

While the science behind gender dimorphism in the brain is convincing in general, I don't think it is yet to the point where it can be used to diagnose individuals reliably.

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