Sex Drive

[Luna Gonzalez]

I read some of the trans girls who are on HRT, and some of them say they have "0" sex drive and I'm wondering how many of you have this issue. I'm just one month and a half on hrt and my sex drive seems okay, no problems with anything. I know it will decrease exponentially but I'm afraid that I will never have a sex drive again. I also have this other questions:

1. If I remove my testicles can I have an erection

2. If I go through bottom surgery do I still have a sex drive

3. Is the sex drive linked to mental issues too?

 

I'm not a doctor, and I can't seem to find answers to this, I hope nobody feels offended or such. 

Luna ❤️

[Jackie C.]

OK, this is just my personal experience, but...

 

I never had trouble with an erection when I was on HRT. I had female-normal testosterone and female-normal estrogen levels according to my labs. The only difference was I only had them when I was aroused instead of just "whenever."

 

Yes. Absolutely. It's how I spent about an hour after my dilation routine. It's DIFFERENT, but I still very much have a sex-drive.

 

Well yeah, your sex-drive is linked to the largest sex organ of all: Your brain.

 

Hugs!

[Luna Gonzalez]

I'm pleased to hear that. I was really scared for a moment. 

Thank you for the kind words Jackie ❤️

Luna

3 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

OK, this is just my personal experience, but...

 

I never had trouble with an erection when I was on HRT. I had female-normal testosterone and female-normal estrogen levels according to my labs. The only difference was I only had them when I was aroused instead of just "whenever."

 

Yes. Absolutely. It's how I spent about an hour after my dilation routine. It's DIFFERENT, but I still very much have a sex-drive.

 

Well yeah, your sex-drive is linked to the largest sex organ of all: Your brain.

 

Hugs!

 

[Jamie68]

3 hours ago, Luna Gonzalez said:

I read some of the trans girls who are on HRT, and some of them say they have "0" sex drive and I'm wondering how many of you have this issue. I'm just one month and a half on hrt and my sex drive seems okay, no problems with anything. I know it will decrease exponentially but I'm afraid that I will never have a sex drive again

I'm 6 months on HRT. Sex drive isn't what it used to be, thank goodness. Before, I was out of control. It takes considerable effort to get erect now, but the plumbing works as good as ever. Hope this helps.

[Luna Gonzalez]

Nice to hear that  It does help, thanks

[Red_Lauren.]

9.5 months of hormones for me. My sex drive since has been a Rollercoaster. Every time they up my hormones. It gos back up for a while. The only reason why it gos up is because of science. Our bodies view opposite sex hormones as maybe not a virus, but sort of like a virus at the amount we are taking, so the human body ramps up our natural hormones to fight it. 

 

At 35 I was probably all ready on the downward side or the peak of my male hormones levels when I started hrt in December. I still get erections of i chose. They aren't on demand any longer, and I can go about a week without one. Before I just have to get off, but it takes work. I will say at least for me. The end result is 100% then the old way.

 

[Heather Nicole]

I'm pre-hrt, so I don't have personal experience on this, but I've done a lot of searching and reading on these issues (because it's been a concern of mine, too.) From what I've heard (and assuming that what I've heard is correct):

 

1. First of all, AIUI, there aren't necessarily any guarantees. There can be a lot of "your mileage may vary" with this stuff. (Maybe just because transgender medicine is still a relatively young area of study??)

 

2. Erections tend to be a "use it or loose it" matter. The erectile tissue needs to be regularly filled and erect or else it can lose its elasticity and thus lose the ability to become filled and erect. This is why cis men get spontaneous, even random, erections. The spontaneous erections ensure the erectile tissue is regularly exersising its elasticity, and, usually, that helps to prevent impotence. But without testosterone, spontaneous erections no longer occur, so if a person wants to make sure they can keep having erections, they themselves need to make sure to "cause" regular erections, because their body will no longer do it automatically.

 

3. As my gender therapist once pointed out to me when I was concerned about these things, "Everyone likes sex, women, too." (Well, maybe not asexual "ace" folk, but if you're worried about it, then I'm guessing you're not ace.) I don't know how much truth there is to this, but I've heard that outright elimination of testosterone (ex: eunichs) can eliminate most sexual desire, but from what I can tell, it sounds like replacing the testosterone with female hormones tends to reintroduce sexual function, except as a typical female sexual response rather than male sexual response. So, still a libido, but not as huge as the male libido, and the arousal triggers and also the physical experience of orgasm be different.

 

But of course, like I said, I don't have direct personal experience, so anyone, please feel free to correct me!

[Jamie68]

2 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

2. Erections tend to be a "use it or loose it" matter. The erectile tissue needs to be regularly filled and erect or else it can lose its elasticity and thus lose the ability to become filled and erect. This is why cis men get spontaneous, even random, erections. The spontaneous erections ensure the erectile tissue is regularly exersising its elasticity, and, usually, that helps to prevent impotence. But without testosterone, spontaneous erections no longer occur, so if a person wants to make sure they can keep having erections, they themselves need to make sure to "cause" regular erections, because their body will no longer do it automatically.

Thanks for posting this. Since on HRT my drive has decreased. I've only gotten a morning pee erection once. Any other time it's only been my testing if I can still get it up once or twice a month, and to make sure the plumbing still works. I suspect should be more often so shrinkage doesn't happen. I don't want to need skin grafts to get full depth GCS. 

[Luna Gonzalez]

8 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

I'm pre-hrt, so I don't have personal experience on this, but I've done a lot of searching and reading on these issues (because it's been a concern of mine, too.) From what I've heard (and assuming that what I've heard is correct):

 

1. First of all, AIUI, there aren't necessarily any guarantees. There can be a lot of "your mileage may vary" with this stuff. (Maybe just because transgender medicine is still a relatively young area of study??)

 

2. Erections tend to be a "use it or loose it" matter. The erectile tissue needs to be regularly filled and erect or else it can lose its elasticity and thus lose the ability to become filled and erect. This is why cis men get spontaneous, even random, erections. The spontaneous erections ensure the erectile tissue is regularly exersising its elasticity, and, usually, that helps to prevent impotence. But without testosterone, spontaneous erections no longer occur, so if a person wants to make sure they can keep having erections, they themselves need to make sure to "cause" regular erections, because their body will no longer do it automatically.

 

3. As my gender therapist once pointed out to me when I was concerned about these things, "Everyone likes sex, women, too." (Well, maybe not asexual "ace" folk, but if you're worried about it, then I'm guessing you're not ace.) I don't know how much truth there is to this, but I've heard that outright elimination of testosterone (ex: eunichs) can eliminate most sexual desire, but from what I can tell, it sounds like replacing the testosterone with female hormones tends to reintroduce sexual function, except as a typical female sexual response rather than male sexual response. So, still a libido, but not as huge as the male libido, and the arousal triggers and also the physical experience of orgasm be different.

 

But of course, like I said, I don't have direct personal experience, so anyone, please feel free to correct me!

Thanks for the info Heather

[Jamie68]

On 9/3/2021 at 4:20 AM, Jamie68 said:

Thanks for posting this. Since on HRT my drive has decreased. I've only gotten a morning pee erection once. Any other time it's only been my testing if I can still get it up once or twice a month, and to make sure the plumbing still works. I suspect should be more often so shrinkage doesn't happen. I don't want to need skin grafts to get full depth GCS. 

Update. I've noticed that sometimes I only get hard from the base up to the tip, and from the base down toward the perenium, but the base itself not hard at all. Awkward to say the least, like I have a hinge at the base. Other times I get hard, but not enough to have penetrative sex. I went to see the doctor about this. He said it's normal for people like us. My "E" is just under 100 and "T" is just under 150. Not even in female range yet. "E" should be 100-200 and "T" under 100. I'm guessing I won't be able to get it up at all soon. The feeling is the same as always, and i'm still able to get off. I've masturbated totally soft before.

[Deanna Celia M]

On 10/8/2021 at 5:35 AM, Jamie68 said:

I'm guessing I won't be able to get it up at all soon. The feeling is the same as always, and i'm still able to get off. I've masturbated totally soft before.

So as long as it... uhh... extends relatively fully it should be Ok for possible future GCS? Doesn't have to be super hard? (Way ahead of where I'm at but just curious).

 

Just a random observation but gee, if some people thinks trans women are just lustful men with an unquenchable pervy fetish for women's sexual identities... Does it make sense our treatments commonly reduce sex drives and cause loss of erections yet we welcome them to be who we are? 

[Red_Lauren.]

3 hours ago, Deanna Celia M said:

Just a random observation but gee, if some people thinks trans women are just lustful men with an unquenchable pervy fetish for women's sexual identities... Does it make sense our treatments commonly reduce sex drives and cause loss of erections yet we welcome them to be who we are? 

I'll add this. My grandma who supports me. Thinks that now that I have female friends also. That im transitioning to get closer to woman. I was like These ladies are my family. I literally have paid zero attention to their bodies at all, so much in fact. That lately a few have been saying my breast are bigger, and that is when I noticed I am bigger. I also told her. If I wanted to attract woman. I would have stayed as a male. I told her my dating circle has gotten a lot smaller since I transitioned, and that's ok..

[Deanna Celia M]

1 hour ago, Red_Lauren. said:

I also told her. If I wanted to attract woman. I would have stayed as a male. I told her my dating circle has gotten a lot smaller since I transitioned, and that's ok..

Yeah, I honestly... I don't know how many queer females who aren't trans themselves would date us? Maybe if you pass really well and have had bottom surgery, I don't know, forgive my ignorance on this.

 

The whole idea that trans women want to force lesbians/queer cis women to be with them just... I don't see how that would actually work. I guess we're supposed to GUILT them into dating us and sleeping with us by telling them they're not woke if they don't, is the theory.

Like that will actually work, or like anyone who isn't a horrible person would even try to pull that card anyway.  

 

Or does your grandma think you're just going to perv out being close to straight women? Ask her why she would think that of you?

[MelanieTamara]

3 hours ago, Deanna Celia M said:

I guess we're supposed to GUILT them into dating us and sleeping with us by telling them they're not woke if they don't, is the theory.

 

It's so refreshing to hear you say that. In my mind, it is perfectly ok for a person to not want to date us because we are trans. To me, it is no different than hetero women not wanting to date bald, portly men with big beards. Rules of attraction are personal, not globally defined and any reason to include or exclude is ok with me.

[Jamie68]

13 hours ago, Deanna Celia M said:

So as long as it... uhh... extends relatively fully it should be Ok for possible future GCS? Doesn't have to be super hard? (Way ahead of where I'm at but just curious).

It doesn't have to get hard at all. If you want full depth vaginoplasty and don't have enough material they take skin grafts from around your beltline for what they need. There are plenty of other options also.

[Jamie68]

I want full depth GCS because I want to be as much physically the woman I am as possible. I've been married for 50 years now. If she passes before me I will look for love again. Preferably male, but I can love either. I think The possibility of penetrative sex will be very limited, (unless I take care of my own needs lol).

[April-Showers]

i can only speak from my experience and i realize my life has been vastly different from most of you on here because of my age and the way i grew up. my physician does not like t-blockers and feels they can actually hinder things rather than help. plus there are possible dangerous side-effects from them. she feels that estrogen therapy is the way to go and works better than a mix of them with t-blockers. i have no opinion one way or the other but i have put my full faith in her since i was very young. i am not pre-op and have no desire for full srs.  i have had a partial orchiectomy and am glad i chose that. it has helped with my transition somewhat but enables me to still have a very satisfying sex drive. estrogen has had little effect on my sex drive but has enabled me to be comfortable with myself in the way i look and feel. i am a female in gender but also one who enjoys and appreciates my sexual abilities. i would never want to lose that. anyhoo.....that's my feeling on sex drive. thank you.      

[Deanna Celia M]

3 hours ago, Jamie68 said:

It doesn't have to get hard at all. If you want full depth vaginoplasty and don't have enough material they take skin grafts from around your beltline for what they need. There are plenty of other options also.

Jamie ok thanks for the info. Still think I will have to make sure have some kind of regular erections down there once I start HRT, I would feel worried otherwise, especially since what I have is very compact/retracted in its resting state. 

[Deanna Celia M]

2 hours ago, April-Showers said:

i have had a partial orchiectomy and am glad i chose that. it has helped with my transition somewhat but enables me to still have a very satisfying sex drive.

April--Do you mean they removed part of each of your testes?

I had my right testicle removed 20 years ago due to cancer. I was told at the time T-levels should remain normal... Now of course I wish they weren't correct, but given my fairly strong libido and facial hair issues (ugh) I tend to think they were right. 

 

[Ivy]

I've not had any surgeries, but am on HRT (also without T blockers)  I don't really get erections, but can "get off" as it were.  It is a bit different though.  I have also found that it is possible to have very satisfying experiences with the newer upstairs equipment.  For me, different and not so messy, but very nice, perhaps more full body and intense.

Just my own experience.

I think a lot of it is in your head anyway.

[Jamie68]

18 hours ago, Jandi said:

 I have also found that it is possible to have very satisfying experiences with the newer upstairs equipment.  For me, different and not so messy, but very nice, perhaps more full body and intense

I've had the same experience. I can have a full body orgasm without ejaculating just by massaging my breasts. It feels more natural to me.

[April-Showers]

On 10/10/2021 at 11:54 AM, Deanna Celia M said:

April--Do you mean they removed part of each of your testes?

I had my right testicle removed 20 years ago due to cancer. I was told at the time T-levels should remain normal... Now of course I wish they weren't correct, but given my fairly strong libido and facial hair issues (ugh) I tend to think they were right. 

 

hi deanna. i was very young when i was started on estrogen only which helped to offset my male puberty. my testicles were intact but did not fully develop like a normal male's would going through puberty. my sex drive was very good as far as i was concerned even though i wasn't sure what a normal male sex drive would have been like. when i reached age 18 my physician wanted to decrease the estrogen dosage i was taking and suggested i have a partial orchiectomy where one of my testicles was removed. since my testicles had not fully developed she felt my testosterone level could be controlled well will a decrease in estrogen. so that's what happened and my physician was right. i have never taken a t-blocker. i'm now 22 years old and totally pleased with both my appearance and my sex drive. so as you can see my life story is quite different from yours as well as most here on the forum. i hope this at least explains better what i said. thank you and best wishes!

[Deanna Celia M]

7 hours ago, April-Showers said:

i hope this at least explains better what i said. thank you and best wishes!

April--Yes it does explain it, thank you! That's why it's different for you... With myself having normal male hormones and having one testicle removed as an adult it obviously didn't have the same effect.

[Red_Lauren.]

On 10/9/2021 at 10:36 PM, Deanna Celia M said:

Yeah, I honestly... I don't know how many queer females who aren't trans themselves would date us? Maybe if you pass really well and have had bottom surgery, I don't know, forgive my ignorance on this.

 

The whole idea that trans women want to force lesbians/queer cis women to be with them just... I don't see how that would actually work. I guess we're supposed to GUILT them into dating us and sleeping with us by telling them they're not woke if they don't, is the theory.

Like that will actually work, or like anyone who isn't a horrible person would even try to pull that card anyway.  

 

Or does your grandma think you're just going to perv out being close to straight women? Ask her why she would think that of you?

I think my grandma thinks that. I told her even of i was a male, and they were single. I wouldn't stand a chance with them. They are smoke shows. Plus they all knew me before my transition. Some were because I'm friends with their husband's, and others because I paid them for services. These ladies are my family. I don't view them as sexual partners. Even if I knew they had a thing for me.