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So I am new here and saying hello to you all. I have known for along time I am trans and am finally able to follow through with being who I know myself to be. I made an appointment to my Primary Care Physician at the VA. It will be an office visit and do not worry, I will follow all Covid precautions. I will admit, I am nervous to have this first visit. My intention is to come out on my first visit and seek transition care. I am wondering what the break down is on how the process works. I know I come out to my PCP, but what are the next steps to expect? Should I just walk in presenting as female from the get go or should I just go in male mode and move forward from there? It can feel overwhelming, I just want to take this in the best and most honest direction possible. Thank you ahead of time for any input you all can lend. Lots of love.

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Welcome, CoffeeGal!

 

I don't really know how things work with the VA, though I have heard that their service is generally good.  I do understand your nervousness, though.  That first appointment, whomever it is with, is a bit nerve-wracking.

 

When I went to my first appointment with a therapist, I went in male mode.  I hadn't even picked a feminine name yet, so they just used my (now) dead name.  It doesn't matter.  You can be sure they have seen all variations. 

 

Just be yourself and tell them how you are feeling.

 

Mostly, I just wanted to welcome you and to congratulate you on coming out to yourself.  That is usually the hardest part of the process.

 

Regards,

Kathy

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Howdy neighbor! I'm out of Livonia, but my endo is through Michigan Medicine in Ann Arbor. Welcome to Transpulse! We're glad you're here. Personally, I'm just glad to have another member within a reasonable distance. ?

 

So yeah, I'd call ahead and give your PCP a warning. Let them know so they can use your preferred name and whatnot so they don't accidentally out you when they call you for your appointment. Even so, expect people to mess up. It happens. I've had people call out my dead-name to a room full of strangers more than once. Not anymore, but I had my name legally changed... and it's STILL on my Michigan Medicine documentation. They don't call it out in the waiting room anymore though.

 

Now then, Michigan is not an informed consent state, so to receive HRT you're going to need to talk to a gender therapist. Michigan Medicine has a transgender program you can use to get the paperwork you need. I talked to Sara Wiener, MSW to get my HRT clearance and one of my letters of recommendation for my GCS in 2020.

 

Again, lovely to meet you. Feel free to ask me anything.

 

Hugs!

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Welcome CoffeeGal! Glad you're here. Tricare might be a little different than the VA, I'm not sure. With Tricare I didn't need a PCP referral for therapy, so I started with a gender therapist. Then when she asked if my PCP could manage HRT I made an appointment with her & she is referring me to an endocrinologist. I've dressed femme for all my appointments; I figured it would show I am sincere about this. I am comfortable presenting en femme, or androgynous now, although girl was I nervous the first few times out in the sunshine.

 

Hugs!

Delcina

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Also Welcome Coffee gal. When you have your visit to VA go as you feel. They don't judge. If you feel like going full feminine go for it. As for dead naming it happens. I could be sitting waiting for my appointment wearing a dress and still get dead named. I found out that there is a form to fill out to have the name changed in your records. Not an official one though.

 

However most of the providers I see regularly use my preferred name and pronouns. Sorry to say HRT isn't an automatic thing. As with any medical provider. They will set you up with a therapist. and will confirm that you are a candidate for HRT. I, myself had to fight to be put on HRT. with my history of blood clots, ( A DVT and 2 PEs ) they were reluctant but I saw a great endo who referred me to his other practice and both with him and a hematologist worked with my GYN and I was able to start HRT this past Mar.

 

Kymmie

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I dressed as myself for my first therapist visit but that was as much because i was trying to get past the fear of being myself rather than for any other reason.  HRT helps feminize our appearance but we still have to work past fear.  

Enjoy jour journey!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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On 9/5/2021 at 1:41 PM, CoffeeGaL said:

I know I come out to my PCP, but what are the next steps to expect? Should I just walk in presenting as female from the get go or should I just go in male mode and move forward from there? It can feel overwhelming

Welcome @CoffeeGaL, It’s a pleasure to meet you. These healthcare personnel are professionals and they’ve seen it all so my advice is to go presenting they way you want. I do think @Jackie C. has some great advice in giving your PCP some advance notice to the changes if you intend to present female…just to make the visit more comfortable for you. Even if you don’t, I think you’ll be just fine.

 

Let us know how it goes if you’re up to sharing.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

 

PS: What’s your favorite coffee blend?

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