Dating....

[christinakristy2021]

After I transition from MTF, and I am ready to date, Where is a good place for a transgender woman to meet other people, even if they're a lesbian?

[Davie]

I don't have an answer, but it's a great question. I have the same question out to the Trans coordinator at Fenway Health, in Boston. Haven't heard back yet.

Love to get some good dating advice, or as I've read "friending" even.

-- Davie

[PrincipalGeek]

The same question comes up constantly for cis-gender folks, and I think the answer is the same.  Pursue your interests, and seek out friends (and more) as they come.  Connect with the local community(ies) that you click with, get out and 'mingle' for lack of a better word. 

 

I know a lot of people who rush around with the goal of 'dating' and that's what they do, go from one short term relationship to another... deluding themselves in the honeymoon phase and then waking up a week.. a month.. 2 months later and breaking it off... rinse and repeat.  My sister is still doing this at 50, and has left a stream of broken hearts/promises along the way.

 

I don't think it's an effective means to the end, and can lead to unnecessary emotional turmoil.  That said, it probably does work out for some... one friend has been dating the same person for going on 5 months now so maybe?

 

Just my humble opinion on the subject...

[Nora]

Fetlife. ?

[Kasumi63]

I’ve been trying Tinder just to get my feet wet, but I have my first date lined up for tomorrow. I’m a bit nervous, but I’m trying to keep my expectations low and hoping to just have a decent time. I know Tinder has the reputation for being a pick up site, but I also heard that that’s not as much the case in Asia. Well, we’ll see!

[MiraM]

I wish I knew the answer to the dating question.  I have been on several dating apps for a while (as is 2 years or so) and have not had a single date.  The apps have proven themselves to be pretty useless.  

 

 

[Nora]

I just join local groups on Fetlife, then go to group lunches and meetups, talk with people, put myself out there. I've had many, many many dates as a result lol. Not really interested in an LTR, though I was going with this one girl for a couple of years, but it ultimately didn't lead anywhere serious. Neither one of us were really what the other one needed in their lives. She was too hostile and sadistic; I was too needy and clingy lol. I ultimately broke it off with her, but it was totally mutual and respectful and we're still good friends to this day...with occasional benefits. ...It's complicated LOL. XD

Met a guy on Fetlife recently that seems into me, but he seems too nervous and flaky.

Gotta be kinda careful, because I got offered a ride home from the bar by this OTHER guy I met who tried to kidnap me before I put my gun to his head and told him to stop the truck. SUPER glad I decided to bring it along. So far that's the only time I've ever had to use it. I almost damn-near decided to try to grab the wheel and crash the truck before opting to try forcing him to pull over instead LOL. ?

If I hadn't brought my gun, that is DEFINITELY the route I would have gone with lmao, and then we could have both ended up getting killed; this way both of us went home safe! ? (Or possibly to jail in his case; I called the cops immediately after to make a report, and I'm sure this probably wasn't his first time and the cops were probably already aware of him lol. Plus I wanted to make sure the cops got the full story from me first in the event the pervert tried to make a phony report against ME to make me out to be some crazy b*itch lol. It's happened to others before; ALWAYS make a report to the cops anytime you have to use any level of force or pose a serious threat to someone in order to defend yourself; don't just assume that because you escaped, the situation is over. ...It's over when monsters like him get put behind bars. ? )

[Nora]

Sorry for the ramble LOL...I'm super divergent/distractable today. ?

[Bri2020]

I haven’t ventured forth in actual dating but I joined a bunch of lesbian meetup groups just to connect with community.  I’m not ready for a sexual relationship since I’m pre-op and feel that’s false advertising for a lesbian. Lol.  I’ve met a number of people and can see this working once I’m ready.  

[Davie]

@Bri2020I agree about the meetup groups. Someone here suggested it and I've already joined a couple. Haven't been just yet, but it's great to be invited.

Cool.

-- Davie

[adriannamb]

A meet up and this is where I met my partner.Met her at a LGBT meet up,was into my 7th month of my transition 5 years ago and it was love after that.She supported me through my transition.She still supports my decision not to have the grs.Happily married for 3 years now