Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

. Crap


Nora

Recommended Posts

So my family's Baptist pastor from when I was a little kid reconnected with me on facebook lol. Said he's taking a road trip to Wyoming from Alaska next summer and would love to have lunch with my mom and I. Funny story though, I haven't changed my facebook profile or publicly come out as trans to all my friends and family back in Alaska...sooo, he's expecting to meet up with my mom and her son...not my mom and her daughter.

I didn't want to seem rude and tell him I didn't that was a good idea, so I just played along and told him we should definitely do that LOL. 

...Crap? 

No idea how to approach it. I'm worried by this time next year I'm going to look more like a girl than a boy. Maybe I should just go all out in full fem attire and play it off like it's the most normal thing in the world while I sit back and watch the old man squirm lmao.  ?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Nora said:

Maybe I should just go all out in full fem attire and play it off like it's the most normal thing in the world while I sit back and watch the old man squirm lmao.

 

That's how I'd play it. Answer questions if he asks, but be yourself. No reason in the world to hide it. Be glorious you.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

You gotta be you, @Nora. I'm saying this as much for you as for myself & anyone else who needs to hear it. Bloom and be fragrant. God made you as you are & you are beautiful. 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Vidanjali said:

You gotta be you, @Nora. I'm saying this as much for you as for myself & anyone else who needs to hear it. Bloom and be fragrant. God made you as you are & you are beautiful. 

 

Thanks. ☺️

I stopped believing in God a long time ago though. ...I did come out to him about THAT lol. He seemed to take it okay. Better than he could have anyway lol. Also opened up to him about my time in Utah being beaten and raped on a regular basis for five years as a little kid. ...That's probably why he didn't really question my lack of faith lol. =P

Link to comment

I agree with the advice above.  Just be yourself.  You shouldn't have to hide.  If he has a problem with who you are, it's his problem, not yours.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Nora said:

 

Thanks. ☺️

I stopped believing in God a long time ago though. ...I did come out to him about THAT lol. He seemed to take it okay. Better than he could have anyway lol. Also opened up to him about my time in Utah being beaten and raped on a regular basis for five years as a little kid. ...That's probably why he didn't really question my lack of faith lol. =P

 

You can just take the part after the the "&", then - you are beautiful as you are. I'm sorry for what you've been through - that you were hurt and violated. That the pastor still wants to connect with you after you disclosed all that to him is promising, I think, because some people "of faith" would hear all that and want to distance themselves from the other person's pain and lack of faith. I guess we'll have to wait to see... 

Link to comment

Hey Nora, you've received some really good advice today. I would add that there are at least 17 different Baptist conventions in the United States, and not all of them adhere to the same set of dogma. Your former pastor may not be hostile to trans people. I can tell you as a Minister of Word and Sacrament in the United Presbyterian Church, we are not. I'm sorry to hear about the  horrific experiences you've had and that because of them you've lost your faith. For what it's worth, I will be praying for your healing and for peace of mind and spirit for you. I understand it can't change the past, but, you deserve a better and brighter future.

Link to comment

Thanks all! ?

I gotta agree; him not immediately shunning me for being an atheist was pretty encouraging; I shouldn't even be as worried as I am lol. He's almost more of an old family friend rather than our old pastor, (he retired from pastoring and joined the military for a while before moving back home.)

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   14 Members, 0 Anonymous, 53 Guests (See full list)

    • KathyLauren
    • Thea
    • VickySGV
    • MaeBe
    • MaybeRob
    • MaryEllen
    • MomTGDaughter
    • Robin.C
    • Vidanjali
    • Rishaya
    • emeraldmountain2
    • Audrey
    • Jamielynn
    • AllieJ
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      79.8k
    • Total Posts
      756.7k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,524
    • Most Online
      8,356

    GR
    Newest Member
    GR
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Aria357
      Aria357
      (19 years old)
    2. Azrail
      Azrail
    3. Cutmeupcookmeandeatme
      Cutmeupcookmeandeatme
      (29 years old)
    4. DestinyPanda
      DestinyPanda
      (30 years old)
    5. F1nn
      F1nn
  • Posts

    • MaeBe
      It's an inherently transphobic utterance, coming from either willful or unconscious bias. Based on this thread and others I've seen you post, it's time to stop all payments and off their schedule. That person is not worth your time, never mind your money.
    • Robin.C
      Woo hoooooooo ... POP ....  thank you
    • MaeBe
      Everything needs to be gendered, no? Trimmers. Shampoo. Warehouses.
    • Thea
      Have you seen those ads for the "man-scape" or the "lawn-mower" or whatever? It think it's funny that masculinity is fragile enough that it needs "manly" names for hygiene products for men to use them.
    • emeraldmountain2
      Calling a trans person "not a biological woman" is practically the same as calling a trans woman "not a real woman."   Thanks for the video @AllieJ.
    • emeraldmountain2
      They sure are. I have yet to meet one after working with some.
    • KymmieL
      Let me add to my disgust. Any Christmas music that is played before Thanksgiving.
    • Ivy
      You're looking pretty good to me.  Nice smile.
    • Willow
      I and I do mean IF I replace any locks it will be with something I can open without a key or with a key. I want something I can open with my phone or iPad should I not be home but have to let someone in or let myself in if I don’t have my keys. I do worry about that happening.    since you haven’t seen me in quite some time:
    • April Marie
      I'm in!!!
    • AllieJ
      I can probably run another zoom Tuesday 12 December (US time) if anyone is interested! Usual start time @ 7pm Central US time and usual super casual conversation with awesome people just like yourself!!!   Hugs,   Allie
    • Ashley0616
      I did talk to my nurse at the VA and unfortunately, they aren't able to get me in any sooner, but they said to try the walk-in clinic.
    • AllieJ
      I would echo Kays comments, I know a Non Binary therapist, but I would not recommend them to anyone as all they can offer is relaxation techniques. Trans and Non Binary people need to understand who they are and find strategies to accept and cope with this, but most psychologists focus on avoidance and distraction. While mindfulness is nice, it doesn't stop the self questioning and feelings of being less than others, or develop strategies to enhance our lives. Therapist that can help with these are rare and invaluable.   Hugs,   Allie
    • AllieJ
      Used by people who simply do not understand the terms! Seriously, watch this video!        Hugs,   Allie
    • Ivy
      Dang, @Ashley0616.   Sorry this happened.  I've had times when I had to question my handiperson skills myself.   I hope you can get things straightened out.  Don't give up, like they say stuff happens.  Sometimes when it rains, it pours.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...