. Crap

[Nora]

So my family's Baptist pastor from when I was a little kid reconnected with me on facebook lol. Said he's taking a road trip to Wyoming from Alaska next summer and would love to have lunch with my mom and I. Funny story though, I haven't changed my facebook profile or publicly come out as trans to all my friends and family back in Alaska...sooo, he's expecting to meet up with my mom and her son...not my mom and her daughter.

I didn't want to seem rude and tell him I didn't that was a good idea, so I just played along and told him we should definitely do that LOL. 

...Crap.  

No idea how to approach it. I'm worried by this time next year I'm going to look more like a girl than a boy. Maybe I should just go all out in full fem attire and play it off like it's the most normal thing in the world while I sit back and watch the old man squirm lmao.  

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Nora said:

Maybe I should just go all out in full fem attire and play it off like it's the most normal thing in the world while I sit back and watch the old man squirm lmao.

 

That's how I'd play it. Answer questions if he asks, but be yourself. No reason in the world to hide it. Be glorious you.

 

Hugs!

[Vidanjali]

You gotta be you, @Nora. I'm saying this as much for you as for myself & anyone else who needs to hear it. Bloom and be fragrant. God made you as you are & you are beautiful. 

[Nora]

1 hour ago, Vidanjali said:

You gotta be you, @Nora. I'm saying this as much for you as for myself & anyone else who needs to hear it. Bloom and be fragrant. God made you as you are & you are beautiful. 

 

Thanks. 

I stopped believing in God a long time ago though. ...I did come out to him about THAT lol. He seemed to take it okay. Better than he could have anyway lol. Also opened up to him about my time in Utah being beaten and raped on a regular basis for five years as a little kid. ...That's probably why he didn't really question my lack of faith lol. =P

[Ivy]

Yeah.  Just be you.  If he don't like it, that's on him.

[KathyLauren]

I agree with the advice above.  Just be yourself.  You shouldn't have to hide.  If he has a problem with who you are, it's his problem, not yours.

[Vidanjali]

1 hour ago, Nora said:

 

Thanks. 

I stopped believing in God a long time ago though. ...I did come out to him about THAT lol. He seemed to take it okay. Better than he could have anyway lol. Also opened up to him about my time in Utah being beaten and raped on a regular basis for five years as a little kid. ...That's probably why he didn't really question my lack of faith lol. =P

 

You can just take the part after the the "&", then - you are beautiful as you are. I'm sorry for what you've been through - that you were hurt and violated. That the pastor still wants to connect with you after you disclosed all that to him is promising, I think, because some people "of faith" would hear all that and want to distance themselves from the other person's pain and lack of faith. I guess we'll have to wait to see... 

[Marcie Jensen]

Hey Nora, you've received some really good advice today. I would add that there are at least 17 different Baptist conventions in the United States, and not all of them adhere to the same set of dogma. Your former pastor may not be hostile to trans people. I can tell you as a Minister of Word and Sacrament in the United Presbyterian Church, we are not. I'm sorry to hear about the  horrific experiences you've had and that because of them you've lost your faith. For what it's worth, I will be praying for your healing and for peace of mind and spirit for you. I understand it can't change the past, but, you deserve a better and brighter future.

[Nora]

Thanks all!

I gotta agree; him not immediately shunning me for being an atheist was pretty encouraging; I shouldn't even be as worried as I am lol. He's almost more of an old family friend rather than our old pastor, (he retired from pastoring and joined the military for a while before moving back home.)