Is it too late?

[ClarkDiesInside]

I hear that people can pass much better if they transition in their teens/around my age, I feel like I'm running out of time. I cannot get on HRT yet, but I will be old enough soon. The thought of coming out to my mother terrifies me, but I don't think I will be able to get it with only my father. What do I do? Now would definitely be a bad time to come out, though. It might be for a while, so maybe I can get testosterone from the grey market? I don't know. I'm barely old enough to be on this website, maybe I have plenty more months/years left and should stop stressing. I rarely see trans men that don't pass well anyway.

[VickySGV]

I did not start until my 60's, quite a ways beyond teens and if I don't pass, simply no one I meet gives a doggone, which may be even an better thing than passing.

[KathyLauren]

I am another trans woman who transitioned in my 60s.  I pass tolerably well.  If I don't then, like Vicky, I find that no one gives a hoot anyway.  So transitioning after one's teens is possible, with good results.

 

And, as you observed, trans men tend to pass well once they start T.  There is something convincing about facial hair and a deep voice.

 

I don't recommend gray market medication.  I know it is hard, but hang in there.  It seems like forever, I know, but in just a few years, you will be independent of your parents and able to make your own decisions.

[Dartti Dare]

Like Kathy and Vicky, I too am older. (50) I pass all the time. And if I don't, I really don't care. This was something I used to stress about until I was correctly gendered by a fine young man at a time when it was quite obvious I'm trans. I realized then it was more important to be correctly gendered out of respect than simply assumed. But being as young as you are, some words of what will be from some ladies decades older than you may not be too comforting. ? Give it time.

 

And P.S. Stay away from the grey market stuff. 

[VickySGV]

On 10/13/2021 at 11:14 AM, ClarkDiesInside said:

It might be for a while, so maybe I can get testosterone from the grey market?

 

DO NOT DO IT.  They grey and black market stuff can kill or can damage your life so it is no longer any fun.  I am a Grand Parent who has a Trans grandchild about your age and we have discussed this many times. Hormones need to be monitored by an MD since unsupervised, they can cause blood clots or other damage.   A former owner of this Forum site used that kind of medication and had to give this site up due to effects of those medications which in her case were brain blood clots and heart problems.  She was not old enough to have those problems as the result of aging.

[ClarkDiesInside]

2 hours ago, Dartti Dare said:

Like Kathy and Vicky, I too am older. (50) I pass all the time. And if I don't, I really don't care. This was something I used to stress about until I was correctly gendered by a fine young man at a time when it was quite obvious I'm trans. I realized then it was more important to be correctly gendered out of respect than simply assumed. But being as young as you are, some words of what will be from some ladies decades older than you may not be too comforting. ? Give it time.

 

Thanks, most people my age are insecure about the way they look anyway, just for a different reason than me. That feeling usually goes away as we age, hopefully I won't care soon. Likely, nobody but myself pays attention to the way I look.

[Dartti Dare]

1 hour ago, VickySGV said:

 

DO NOT DO IT.  They grey and black market stuff can kill or can damage your life so it is no longer any fun.  I am a Grand Parent who has a Trans grandchild about your age and we have discussed this many times. Hormones need to be monitored by an MD since unsupervised, they can cause blood clots or other damage.   A former owner of this Forum site used that kind of medication and had to give this site up due to effects of those medications which in her case were brain blood clots and heart problems.  She was not old enough to have those problems as the result of aging.

Also, I might add that if you suffer a clot, from what I understand, doctors will not prescribe hormones. 

[VickySGV]

1 hour ago, Dartti Dare said:

Also, I might add that if you suffer a clot, from what I understand, doctors will not prescribe hormones.

 

I had a blood clot and was taken off of my HRT for nearly a year.  At the least, they will delay your HRT for a LOONNNGGGG time.

[Charlize]

The simple answer to your question is no it is not too late.  T has had amazing effects for the trans men i know who have started transition at various times depending on their needs and circumstances.  We are very fortunate today to be able to get good medical help so that dangerous self medication is not necessary.  Taking the self medication route can actually slow or make the use go HRT impossible later. 

If it helps i've found that my time living as a man has allowed me to grow as well so i don't regret that time.  Using the time you have now to it's best advantage will help you in the future.  I know it is frustrating but many here know from experience that we make it through.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

[Ivy]

All of the above.

[Benji C]

It should be fine a lot of people transition when they're older...

[Iris C]

On 10/13/2021 at 8:14 PM, ClarkDiesInside said:

I hear that people can pass much better if they transition in their teens/around my age, I feel like I'm running out of time. I cannot get on HRT yet, but I will be old enough soon. The thought of coming out to my mother terrifies me, but I don't think I will be able to get it with only my father. What do I do? Now would definitely be a bad time to come out, though. It might be for a while, so maybe I can get testosterone from the grey market? I don't know. I'm barely old enough to be on this website, maybe I have plenty more months/years left and should stop stressing. I rarely see trans men that don't pass well anyway.

Don't do it! Hormones are really powerful and need to be closely monitoring otherwise you are susceptible to picking up nasty diseases. You are definitely not too old. I know somebody who has done a fantastic FTM transition at 19 and I am 51 and my MTF transition is also working well.