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New depression


Mia Marie

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I called my mom while out to go get me something to eat during my dinner break at work. I didn't know it was going to turn into a texting argument with her. Again she tries to come up with excuses after excuses for me to stop transitioning. Telling me that I have been brainwashed by my therapist and doctors. I feel I am losing my mom and near ready to tell her I don't want to see or talk her until she can accept who I am. She has accused my therapist and doctors of hurting me by allowing me to transition. I told her several times, no one has talked me into this. She even thinks she can force me to move back to a state that is impossible for transgender people to get care. She gets pissed when I call her on some things like she tried to say something about an investigation of doctors that may have prescribed puberty blockers for kids. She thought it was an investigation about doctors helping adult trans people to transition. What I am seeing is I think I have lost my mom to my transition. I don't know how long it may take her to realize that it will be her fault if I sever communication with her. And if she keeps this up i just might until she can treat me as an adult and accepts who I am becoming. I know it will hurt something bad but I was told I might have to make hard decisions concerning my family.

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That sounds tough. Sorry to hear that your mother doesn't seem to be "onboard".

I've gone through that with my family and have lost everyone in my life save my nephew and his wife.

My mother has been pretty good with my transition. She isn't fully, all the way "understanding" yet, but I'm Confident she will get there. She is shallow and if I were fully transitioned, she could embrace it even more.

But seriously she is the one who has my back right now more so than anyone else. I love her so much regardless of what she is going through in her mind. Yeah, it IS tough. 

Much like what Denise Richards said to Dave Chappelle, "I don't need for you to understand me, I just want you to know that I'm having a human experience".

 

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*Edit* Daphne Dorman is her name.  She isn't gone, she just isn't here anymore. She has transcended this human experience.

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  • Forum Moderator

Mia Marie, it may well be that your mother may never understand or fully accept who you are.   One simply hopes that with time she will see yours as a " human experience".  Some of my family members simply cut me off after transition.  Slowly they have opened up, maybe not understanding or acceptance but simply because we continue to love each other despite differences.  I try to let them have their "experience" just as i have mine.  It isn't easy being different but that is part of my life. 

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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5 hours ago, Charlize said:

 It isn't easy being different but that is part of my life. 

Not to diminish the seriousness of this topic but Kermit the frog just popped into my mind! “it isn’t easy being green! “ 

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All of what's in am having to deal with really makes me feel like an orphan. Like, I am not alive in the eyes of my mom. I have tried not to call her on my day to work. That is hard not to do. What is going to be harder is severing all communications with her. I hope one day she will see me for who I am and try to mend out family ties back together. The problem is I don't see fixing rhe family ties as a possibility to happen. 

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I have come to a new depression low with having to sever communication with my mom. She ants to control every aspect of my life with no concern about my feelings and happiness. She has been putting out there that my therapist and doctors are hurting me and hate men. I am not going to give up who I am. That doesn't mean I am killing the person I as but evolving to a better more healthy person I am to be. To experience who I feel inside. She does not want me to do this and doesn't care if I am truly happy. All she cares about is her own happiness so she claims I am killing her son but really evolving into the daughter she didn't have and I as supposed to be. I guess she thinks if I reverted back maybe I would find someone and produce some grandchildren for her but that is not going to happen due to the fact I am not able to father children. The woman inside me knows it will not happen. I didn't want to make the decision to stop talking but I have no other idea what to do with the hope she will see the truth and accept it.

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Stop the communication without assigning fault to either of you.  Some things are just not meant to be.  I know it will be hard, I had to wait until both my parents were dead to make headway.  I make public presentations about parents and children's relations and the thing I am faced with most often is a situation where a parent has the idea that they OWN A CHILD.  Sadly there are people with certain religious views that are told they do own the children and have gotten ideas that if the kid does something wrong the parent will be punished and the parent does not want to be punished, so they pound on the child, even adult children.  When I am talking to groups I point out that they are not a child's owner, only a temporary steward who will give the child up.  Let your therapist know about all of this and see if the therapist can help you make a plan to make a clean cut so you can become yourself.  Your mom will not listen as things are now, and while I know she is scared and mourning for you, still, that is her life.

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2 hours ago, VickySGV said:

I make public presentations about parents and children's relations andthe thing I am faced with most often is a situation where a parent has the idea that they OWN A CHILD.

Thank you @VickySGVfor your great educational service on behalf of our community. — @Davie

 

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11 hours ago, VickySGV said:

Stop the communication without assigning fault to either of you. 

I haven't assigned any fault and haven't replied in the last couple of days. I plan to not answer her calls but will listen to whatever message she leaves with no reply. I am not giving in to what she wants. I do believe she needs to talk to a therapist. Only then can she see what she is doing just pushes me further away. 

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2 hours ago, Mia Marie said:

I haven't assigned any fault and haven't replied in the last couple of days.

Good going there.

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