Self Doubt

[Sara62]

Can anyone help, I have my appointment for blood work and a week later to discuss hormones. This close and this much work and I still have the raging debate in my own head, shouldn't I know for certain.                               Sara

[MirandaB]

My response would be...you can start hormones and change your mind later (as long as it's not extremely later) and no one will ever be the wiser. It takes a while before anything really happens. 

 

I kinda think like if you're at this point you kinda know with enough certainty, but it's natural to get nervous about it. 

[Sara62]

Thank you Rhonda that answered one of my other questions I have, am I the only one who has thought of starting transition silently and quietly just for my own peace, thank you dear

[Guest]

Don’t be scared of your doubts and fears. We all have them. I doubt anyone on this site was 100% certain when they started. I’ve read a bunch of trans biographies and not one was without some doubt. It’s that constant inner dialogue that keeps us grounded and as you begin your transition clarity will begin to peak over the horizon. Good luck.

[Ivy]

It can be a little scary to take that first step.  But as has been said, changes are slow and you can stop if you feel it is not right.  Also, with HRT you may begin to feel more comfortable with your decision.

[cassiopeia]

Nothing HRT will do to you is irreversible at least in the first month. You should know pretty quickly how you feel when you start but don't worry if you don't - just try to listen to yourself. Though you probably wouldn't be at this point if you were cis, you know?

[Ivy]

3 hours ago, cassiopeia said:

Though you probably wouldn't be at this point if you were cis, you know?

This

[Sara62]

it is so wonderful to be able to come here and have this dialogue, it makes my heart and my eyes swell. 

[MirandaB]

For a while I thought maybe something was wrong because I didn't feel any doubt then wondered if that counted as feeling doubt. 

[Sara62]

Seems like in every aspect of my life I have always been my harshest critic, that particular talent has not diminished.

[DeeDee]

Hi Sara, doubt is one of those things that comes and goes with any big or important decision. It just makes you human, it doesn't make you any less trans, and as others have already pointed out cis folk wouldn't look at the emotional and physical effects of hormones and think they sound like a good idea!

 

[stveee]

I imagined a scenario in which the Endo says

"I have some bad news, Stevie. Unfortunately, you have a rare genetic marker in which any feminizing hormone therapy or self-alteration will be fatal to you. Regrettably I am the person who has to tell you this, but for you, any transition will be impossible."

And it pretty much removes any doubt how I feel about it.

[Sara62]

It really does help my heart to here that I am not the only one, I think I know who I am, most of the time don't trust that I am strong enough and that remains to be seen......thank you all.....Sara

[Lexi C]

hey Sara.

I am like 4yrs into my new life. I have been on HRT for over 3 and half yrs, 3 surgeries with two more to go and i still have doubts. 

My Gender Therapist tells me its a process. She right every day I feel more like a woman. So yeah just love yourself and the rest will follow.

[Susan R]

On 10/20/2021 at 4:26 PM, Sara62 said:

…am I the only one who has thought of starting transition silently and quietly just for my own peace

Hello Sara, This is how I started out. I was at the end of the line living and presenting myself as a male so I quietly started on HRT on my own. Unfortunately, I did this without my spouse’s knowledge and that was a mistake. I told my wife 2.5 months into HRT. Nothing had changed physically in a dramatic sense during those few months. If I would’ve stopped HRT before that coming out experience, no one would’ve ever been the wiser. The few changes that did occur would’ve likely completely reverted back. My breasts had become only slightly more noticeable without a top but still a completely acceptable size for a male chest. My point is…I knew after 2.5 months that I was making the right choice. You will likely feel much better after starting HRT or you won’t and you can easily stop the process. But the relief knowing I was on a journey to become who I was meant to be was a freedom I was not willing to give up. Most of the doubt I had prior to HRT was now gone. I knew I had made the right decision after only a month to six weeks into HRT. Your experience will likely be on a different timeline than mine as we are all unique.

 

If you’ve come this far and your questioning your birth gender, you might be helped greatly from HRT. It’s always a good idea to talk with a therapist about this to get a professional opinion before starting on a journey of this magnitude. Some of us are in so much turmoil living with the gender dysphoria, that we know it’s right long before seeking another opinion.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

[Sometimes Chrissie]

3 hours ago, Lexi C said:

hey Sara.

I am like 4yrs into my new life. I have been on HRT for over 3 and half yrs, 3 surgeries with two more to go and i still have doubts. 

My Gender Therapist tells me its a process. She right every day I feel more like a woman. So yeah just love yourself and the rest will follow.

I think precise language is important. I think the word woman is imprecise. I think a more precise word is female. Male and Female are used in science.  Woman and man was what Eve and Adam were called in Genesis. 

 

Be happy in your life and try not to over think things. I do that all the time and for me it's a waste of time. 

[Sara62]

Thank you Susan, my therapist gave me the referral to my doctor. My doctor and I had our initial meeting and this Thursday I go in for blood work and a week from then an appt to talk about whether I am healthy enough to move forward. After thirty years of marriage I have spent the last five years alone and I am hoping that HRT will bring some peace and quiet to my mind...........Sara

[Guest]

I found that HRT brought more balance to my thoughts and canceled out all the static in my mind. Spironolactone took some getting used too physically.

[Sara62]

Erica how so with the spironolactone

[Guest]

Leg pain while exercising at first then leg cramps at night. 

[KathyLauren]

Spironolactone is a serious diuretic.  The on-label use is to reduce high blood pressure by making you pee a lot.  The HRT use is just a side-effect.

 

When you are taking it, you have to drink a lot of water or you run into low blood pressure or electrolyte problems.  People don't drink enough because having to pee every half hour is a nuisance, but if you don't, you get leg cramps.

[Jackie C.]

1 hour ago, Erica Gabriel said:

Leg pain while exercising at first then leg cramps at night. 

 

Try more potassium and magnesium in your diet. Cleared mine right up. The frequent urination leeches some minerals you actually need.

 

Hugs!

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Try more potassium and magnesium in your diet. Cleared mine right up. The frequent urination leeches some minerals you actually need.

 

Hugs!

I had too much potassium and did add magnesium and a multi vitamin. That’s what did it for me.

[Charlize]

Here is a bit of information about potassium and spiro.  i had cramping problems and closely watched my intake of Potassium because being a vegetarian many fruits and veggies contain a good bit.  Fluids are certainly necessary but so is frequent monitoring of P levels or serious damage is possible.

 

" Because spironolactone is commonly used in heart failure treatment, its effects on your kidneys are really important. It turns out that spironolactone causes the kidney to retain or hang on to potassium. And it can increase the blood potassium level, and in some patients actually quite significantly, and even in a few to dangerous levels. So with a new addition of spironolactone to your medical regimen, the blood potassium level should be monitored. Initially the first few days after starting it, and then every couple of weeks for probably a month or two to make sure that your blood potassium levels are okay and are not too elevated. Spironolactone can also sometimes be used to replace potassium supplements, so if you're taking potassium supplements with your loop diuretic -- Lasix or what -- and spironolactone is added, then the potassium level should be checked because the spironolactone may well reduce the need for potassium supplementation."

 

The above quote was found in an article by an MD in a quick google search.  

Please be careful and get good medical advice.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Ivy]

My problem with Spiro was sodium.   I tried it twice and both times sodium tanked, even though I was drinking Gatorade the 2nd time.

Turns out even without the Spiro I have a tendency o low sodium.