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Hi,  a bit about myself.....I'm 50s, live in the South West of England, and looking to find answers.  I don't recollect any interest in cross dressing until my late 40s, but recently been umming and ahhing about it.  I've spent the last ten years in an increasingly feminine role at home and work, look after kids/animals/housework etc, and girly things have crept in bit by bit.  I now find myself much more comfortable in this role than the typical masculine pub/footie/crude jokes role.  It started with wanting pretty things around, fresh flowers all the time, pastel colours, that sort of thing.  Gradually fancy dress outfits ( love fancy dress parties) became all female costumes, started wearing a (not very masculine) pinny to do the housework, watching romcoms, listening to female singers a lot more(bit of a change from previous - punk/metal !).  Hence the name, I'm very much into 60s French Ye Ye music!  I don't see myself ever wanting to change from being male, it's just the lifestyle of being the "housewife" rather than the traditional mechanic/salesman/accountant type career earner.  I've found myself entertaining the idea of maybe dressing up once in while to do the housework, maybe curl up on the sofa to watch an old film.  I read that most cross dressers started an early age, does this make me unusual?  I'm concerned, and I'm sure this is quite common, about what other people would think if they found out.  To date my only dabble into this has been a pair of panties.  Have thought about maybe finding someone similar to myself to chat to, share this new thinking with, gain a bit of confidence, learn a bit more.  I'm not attached now, live on my own, apart from Scud (the cat), only work part time and have plenty of leisure time to fill.  Maybe I'm just looking for reassurance that I'm not a weirdo!  I like doing girly things, what's wrong with that. Maybe I just need a push in the right direction.  Thanks for reading.

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  • Forum Moderator

@Ye Ye Welcome and I'm glad you came aboard. I think you'll find others with similar backgrounds and age and I don't think it is unusual to start when you did. Whatever and whenever you started your own personal journey and right you experience is natural for you.



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Ye Ye,


We are all different despite having so much in common, so it isn't weird at all that you are discovering your feminine side later in life.  Personally, I find it a blessing to have such a strong feminine side.  That side of my personality contributes to my overall personality in a very positive way.  I think it is okay for you to explore the feminine part of your personality.  You can do it at your own pace and in a manner that makes you comfortable. And, you can always chat with us here.  Welcome!

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  • Forum Moderator

Gee you reminded me about how much better i felt about housework when i dressed as myself.  I don't think hit is odd that you came to your realization a bit later than i did.  we all have our own paths.   Try to enjoy your journey without guilt.  You are not alone.






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Thanks all for your replies.  I'm nervous about this path, but something inside tells me I'll enjoy this.  You sit down and write something, like my introduction above, and only when you read it back does it really dawn on you. Put my foot in the deep end last night and ordered first item of clothing!  A nightie.  Can't believe I just typed that. A nightie! Thought I'd start off with something discreet that's fairly safe, ie not likely to have anyone knock on the door in the middle of the night.  First small step.  I have absolutely no idea how you measure yourself for a bra.  I'm nervous and anxious, excited, and probably a dozen other emotions.  Be Brave.

Er,  I notice everyone has a female name, and they're all quite feminine. Ye Ye is more a username, I haven't actually got one at the moment, but it's pretty much essential. I don't "feel" like a "Charlotte" or a "Jenny" or any name at the moment, I guess it'll just pop into my head one day.  Amelia is kinda nice but maybe a bit too posh. It may be I'll just go through a list of Ye Ye singers from the 60s, although it's definitely not going to be Brigitte!

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  • Forum Moderator

You can use a User name if that suits you for now.  There's no need to post a name if you don't want.  Yes buying your first item of clothing can be a nervous situation but it will get normal soon enough. Enjoy the ride.



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  • Forum Moderator

Take your time - it took me quite a while to finally feel comfortable with a name that called to me. When you do feel good about it we can name your username if you'd like. I started with Shay because that name chased me for years but over time didn't feel quite right. I tried others but Heather finally felt right. I liked it enough to change my name legally. 

Take your time a little at a time. Take a step - see how it feels - if good - try another step - if not - hold on and see what calls you. 

Each of us is different and each of our journeys are different yet many of the steps are the same so feel free to ask whenever you need.

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Again, I can't believe I'm typing this, but my nightie is due to arrive today, and I'm excited.

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  • Forum Moderator

Sleep well and enjoy!





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Well, two nights now wearing a nightie.  This probably sounds very newbie to most of you, but I'm just taking first few steps.  Somehow felt very comfortable once I'd got used to the novelty and still feeling a bit weird about it to be honest but it'll grow on me and you've got to start somewhere.  Thanks for all your encouraging messages.  I would like some advice about just how you go about finding out your bra size.


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5 hours ago, Ye Ye said:

Well, two nights now wearing a nightie.


I generally sleep in panties with MAYBE a pajama top if it's cold so yeah, a nightie would be novel. 😉



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Welcome. I hope you enjoy the journey. Like most here, I figured myself out later in life. Name change decision was easy for me. Went from James Michael to Jamie Michelle. Sizing for a bra is difficult at best. I measure 42b the normal way of measuring. I saw a different way of measuring that said I'm a 42aa. I'm actually just barely a 42a. I guess I'm saying trial and error is the best way. Buy inexpensive ones till you figure it out. I have a pretty coffee themed pajama set for cold nights, but mostly weal tee shirt and panties to bed. Every new women's clothing excites me. I do a lot of brousing through women's clothing departments now drooling over stuff I can't afford or wear yet. My wife keeps commenting on how transwomen always seem to wear clothes that are too young for them. Well crap, it's gorgeous stuff. I don't want to wear old lady stuff. I don't feel old.


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1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

My wife keeps commenting on how transwomen always seem to wear clothes that are too young for them. Well crap, it's gorgeous stuff. I don't want to wear old lady stuff. I don't feel old.

LOL.  Yeah, I like the cute stuff too.  

I feel like a teenager on the inside, but reality is something different.

My theory is that it's easier for a trans woman of a certain age to blend in if she dresses her age - like most cis women.

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I've sort of reconciled myself to accepting that I like pretty clothes.  I've spent a fair bit of time window shopping online, looking at what might suit me, what might not.  I think I'll start slowly, tops but with jeans, maybe when I'm more comfortable move on to a skirt.  Dresses are some way away, although I'm having difficulty envisaging myself in one.  My name is going to be a tricky one, I've sort of narrowed it down to about 5 - Charlotte (always liked the name), Elizabeth (it's got a lot of possible shortenings so flexible, and my favourite book is Pride & Prejudice), Barbara (the Felicity Kendall connection, for US readers she was an icon in the 70's playing the perfect housewife in 'The Good Life'), Joanne and Lydia (another Pride & Prejudice character but also a connection with my degree subject, Classical History, it was a province in the Persian Empire).  I've had a 'girly' apron or two for some time, always cook or clean in one, people are used to seeing me wearing one, not frilly or anything, but not something you'd often see a man in.  It was my first attempt at trying push my comfort zone.  I've got plenty of fancy dress costume items but not really day to day stuff, and again, friends are used to me wearing female costumes to fancy dress.  I like pastel colours, pale greens and blues, pinks, subtle yellows and beiges, anything in Gingham check, but also black which I guess normally makes an item look a better fit.  I've ordered a necklace, earrings are for sometime in the future.


It's kind of a relief to be able to write this stuff, get it out and share, but in an environment where it's accepted and I won't be seen as odd.  It's early days yet but I have a sense of excitement that I've not had in a long time.  It's sort of I want to shout it out from the rooftop, but without anyone hearing unless they're OK to hear it.  Can't really explain it.  It's like waiting for Xmas morning, but it isn't.  When I was waiting for the nightie to arrive I was clock watching ( "Postman's late today, what's happened!"), couldn't wait.


Thanks for being here.




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1 hour ago, Ye Ye said:

maybe when I'm more comfortable move on to a skirt.  Dresses are some way away, although I'm having difficulty envisaging myself in one

I can't see wearing these in the winter, but it would be nice to dress up for going out to resteraunt or special occasions.

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1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

I can't see wearing these in the winter,

I do it most of the time.  Layers.  Someone gave me some sweatshirt-type fabric and I made some petticoats with it.  And of course leggings are great in cold weather.  (But then, this is NC)


1 hour ago, Ye Ye said:

my favourite book is Pride & Prejudice

Yeah.  This was one of those clues that I tried to ignore.

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Had my first online shop for clothes.  Nothing complicated yet, just a couple of tops, a bra and a cardigan.  Conscious of hair at the moment, have hairy arms and legs, it's going to be a big deal shaving them, and not just yet, need to get comfortable first before taking big steps.  Any tips on achieving as smooth as possible a face? I'm lucky at my age that wrinkles are very few.



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2 hours ago, Ye Ye said:

  Any tips on achieving as smooth as possible a face? I'm lucky at my age that wrinkles are very few.




Ya know, I think as far as keeping a youthful complexion there are so many products out there and nothing like good ol' fashioned staying properly hydrated, getting enough rest and staying out of the direct sun can account for a lot IMO.

You do want to have some kind of daily facial cleansing routine to remove dead skin and keep the Pretty Skin Cell Making Machine running in peak production.

There is a thing about Vitamin C, I assume it helps metabolise iron, and the blood carries oxygen which all cells need, but I'm no rocket scientist. 

I use retinol wipes at night currently, and they make my face tingly and fruity so it makes me feel like I am proactive but I should probably research before I waste any of my efforts. 

I heard something about cabbage leaves, too offhand but I have a difficult time with keeping fresh produce, so I generally buy frozen and if I lay around with cabbage on my face, my cat will likely become overinterested and hide them throughout the house. 

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Thanks stveee,  I'll exsperiment with a few things and see what works best.

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I just noticed stveee you're in Columbus, Ohio.  I was there in 1997 on holiday, stayed in the Crown Plaza, don't know if it's still there, lovely city.  Had this weird weather thing - one morning not a cloud in sight, 20 minutes later a rainstorm, 20 mins after that not a cloud in sight.

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2 hours ago, Ye Ye said:

I just noticed stveee you're in Columbus, Ohio.  I was there in 1997 on holiday, stayed in the Crown Plaza, don't know if it's still there, lovely city.  Had this weird weather thing - one morning not a cloud in sight, 20 minutes later a rainstorm, 20 mins after that not a cloud in sight.

It's doubled in size and population since.

We have a "microclimate" due to the river, surrounding landscape, and the concrete and asphault of cities in general tend to create additional heating. Science!

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On 11/14/2021 at 10:27 AM, Ye Ye said:

I just noticed stveee you're in Columbus, Ohio.  I was there in 1997 on holiday, stayed in the Crown Plaza, don't know if it's still there, lovely city.  Had this weird weather thing - one morning not a cloud in sight, 20 minutes later a rainstorm, 20 mins after that not a cloud in sight.


That's Ohio! "If you don't like the weather here, just wait a minute." It isn't always that wild here, of course, but it does happen often enough.


A little further north from Columbus, up here where I am in the northern end of the state, we're one of only a handful of places in the world that gets "lake-effect" precipitation. It causes a few areas around here to often resemble northern Canada in the winter, and it also contributes to our weather being notoriously hard to predict. We're accustomed to our weather reports being more of a "maybe" than anything to rely too heavily upon!


Back to the topic though, finally getting and wearing the types of clothes you really like is a very nice thing, isn't it! I'm a nightie fan, too. I used to hate sleeping in anything other than underpants, but now my nighties are my favorite way to go. (Erm...when used in addition to underpants, that is!) They just feel so comfy and right 🥰


First nightie I ever ordered I wasn't happy with, though. It looked ok in the pictures, but when I got it, the decorative parts just seemed comically oversized and overall it felt like wearing a plastic garbage bag. Not my best choice. But I'm glad I didn't give up too quickly. The next nightie I bought I was much, much happier with.

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Heather Nicole, nightie has turned out fine, though one of the tops turned out too small, the other too loose despite being same size!  I was aware that different manufacturers make their own sizes, it's a trial and error process.  I've got to be careful here, clothes shopping could become quite time consuming, it's like looking in the toy shop window as a child.  I seem to have a tendency to look at very 'girly' stuff, pinks, frills, lace, silk, then settle for something slightly less girly, perhaps I'm still trying to come to terms with this, almost a feeling of guilt, it'll pass, I know, but I'm very new to this and feeling my way.  Bought a really nice denim skirt with a pink heart on the pocket, hope it fits, and a red polker dot dressing gown.  I think I'm going to avoid dresses for at least the foreseeable future, I'm tall and they just don't seem like they'd fit well.  Skirts I think, especially long flowing ones.  I know, before anyone says it, this all sounds very Little House on the Prairie, but so what.  Pretty is how you perceive it, and to me it's that image, you know, woman with long hair running through field of long grass type of thing, advertising some long ago chocolate bar. I'm not going to apologise for being a sentimental chocolate box image type, I'll develop my taste over time and settle into what I like but feel comfortable with.  Almost bought a cute pinafore on ebay, old fashioned type, button at back of neck, below knee length (not sure what they're called in US), but the bidding went too high, and I felt a sense of loss at not having won it.


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