Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Hello, I'm new to this....


Charlotte Ye Ye

Recommended Posts

Hi,  a bit about myself.....I'm 50s, live in the South West of England, and looking to find answers.  I don't recollect any interest in cross dressing until my late 40s, but recently been umming and ahhing about it.  I've spent the last ten years in an increasingly feminine role at home and work, look after kids/animals/housework etc, and girly things have crept in bit by bit.  I now find myself much more comfortable in this role than the typical masculine pub/footie/crude jokes role.  It started with wanting pretty things around, fresh flowers all the time, pastel colours, that sort of thing.  Gradually fancy dress outfits ( love fancy dress parties) became all female costumes, started wearing a (not very masculine) pinny to do the housework, watching romcoms, listening to female singers a lot more(bit of a change from previous - punk/metal !).  Hence the name, I'm very much into 60s French Ye Ye music!  I don't see myself ever wanting to change from being male, it's just the lifestyle of being the "housewife" rather than the traditional mechanic/salesman/accountant type career earner.  I've found myself entertaining the idea of maybe dressing up once in while to do the housework, maybe curl up on the sofa to watch an old film.  I read that most cross dressers started an early age, does this make me unusual?  I'm concerned, and I'm sure this is quite common, about what other people would think if they found out.  To date my only dabble into this has been a pair of panties.  Have thought about maybe finding someone similar to myself to chat to, share this new thinking with, gain a bit of confidence, learn a bit more.  I'm not attached now, live on my own, apart from Scud (the cat), only work part time and have plenty of leisure time to fill.  Maybe I'm just looking for reassurance that I'm not a weirdo!  I like doing girly things, what's wrong with that. Maybe I just need a push in the right direction.  Thanks for reading.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@Ye Ye Welcome and I'm glad you came aboard. I think you'll find others with similar backgrounds and age and I don't think it is unusual to start when you did. Whatever and whenever you started your own personal journey and right you experience is natural for you.

Hugs,

Heather

Link to comment

Ye Ye,

 

We are all different despite having so much in common, so it isn't weird at all that you are discovering your feminine side later in life.  Personally, I find it a blessing to have such a strong feminine side.  That side of my personality contributes to my overall personality in a very positive way.  I think it is okay for you to explore the feminine part of your personality.  You can do it at your own pace and in a manner that makes you comfortable. And, you can always chat with us here.  Welcome!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Gee you reminded me about how much better i felt about housework when i dressed as myself.  I don't think hit is odd that you came to your realization a bit later than i did.  we all have our own paths.   Try to enjoy your journey without guilt.  You are not alone.

Welcome.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Thanks all for your replies.  I'm nervous about this path, but something inside tells me I'll enjoy this.  You sit down and write something, like my introduction above, and only when you read it back does it really dawn on you. Put my foot in the deep end last night and ordered first item of clothing!  A nightie.  Can't believe I just typed that. A nightie! Thought I'd start off with something discreet that's fairly safe, ie not likely to have anyone knock on the door in the middle of the night.  First small step.  I have absolutely no idea how you measure yourself for a bra.  I'm nervous and anxious, excited, and probably a dozen other emotions.  Be Brave.

Er,  I notice everyone has a female name, and they're all quite feminine. Ye Ye is more a username, I haven't actually got one at the moment, but it's pretty much essential. I don't "feel" like a "Charlotte" or a "Jenny" or any name at the moment, I guess it'll just pop into my head one day.  Amelia is kinda nice but maybe a bit too posh. It may be I'll just go through a list of Ye Ye singers from the 60s, although it's definitely not going to be Brigitte!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

You can use a User name if that suits you for now.  There's no need to post a name if you don't want.  Yes buying your first item of clothing can be a nervous situation but it will get normal soon enough. Enjoy the ride.

 

Jani

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Take your time - it took me quite a while to finally feel comfortable with a name that called to me. When you do feel good about it we can name your username if you'd like. I started with Shay because that name chased me for years but over time didn't feel quite right. I tried others but Heather finally felt right. I liked it enough to change my name legally. 

Take your time a little at a time. Take a step - see how it feels - if good - try another step - if not - hold on and see what calls you. 

Each of us is different and each of our journeys are different yet many of the steps are the same so feel free to ask whenever you need.

Link to comment

Again, I can't believe I'm typing this, but my nightie is due to arrive today, and I'm excited.

Link to comment

Well, two nights now wearing a nightie.  This probably sounds very newbie to most of you, but I'm just taking first few steps.  Somehow felt very comfortable once I'd got used to the novelty and still feeling a bit weird about it to be honest but it'll grow on me and you've got to start somewhere.  Thanks for all your encouraging messages.  I would like some advice about just how you go about finding out your bra size.

Thanks

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
5 hours ago, Ye Ye said:

Well, two nights now wearing a nightie.

 

I generally sleep in panties with MAYBE a pajama top if it's cold so yeah, a nightie would be novel. ?

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Welcome. I hope you enjoy the journey. Like most here, I figured myself out later in life. Name change decision was easy for me. Went from James Michael to Jamie Michelle. Sizing for a bra is difficult at best. I measure 42b the normal way of measuring. I saw a different way of measuring that said I'm a 42aa. I'm actually just barely a 42a. I guess I'm saying trial and error is the best way. Buy inexpensive ones till you figure it out. I have a pretty coffee themed pajama set for cold nights, but mostly weal tee shirt and panties to bed. Every new women's clothing excites me. I do a lot of brousing through women's clothing departments now drooling over stuff I can't afford or wear yet. My wife keeps commenting on how transwomen always seem to wear clothes that are too young for them. Well crap, it's gorgeous stuff. I don't want to wear old lady stuff. I don't feel old.

Jamie.jpg

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

My wife keeps commenting on how transwomen always seem to wear clothes that are too young for them. Well crap, it's gorgeous stuff. I don't want to wear old lady stuff. I don't feel old.

LOL.  Yeah, I like the cute stuff too.  

I feel like a teenager on the inside, but reality is something different.

My theory is that it's easier for a trans woman of a certain age to blend in if she dresses her age - like most cis women.

Link to comment

I've sort of reconciled myself to accepting that I like pretty clothes.  I've spent a fair bit of time window shopping online, looking at what might suit me, what might not.  I think I'll start slowly, tops but with jeans, maybe when I'm more comfortable move on to a skirt.  Dresses are some way away, although I'm having difficulty envisaging myself in one.  My name is going to be a tricky one, I've sort of narrowed it down to about 5 - Charlotte (always liked the name), Elizabeth (it's got a lot of possible shortenings so flexible, and my favourite book is Pride & Prejudice), Barbara (the Felicity Kendall connection, for US readers she was an icon in the 70's playing the perfect housewife in 'The Good Life'), Joanne and Lydia (another Pride & Prejudice character but also a connection with my degree subject, Classical History, it was a province in the Persian Empire).  I've had a 'girly' apron or two for some time, always cook or clean in one, people are used to seeing me wearing one, not frilly or anything, but not something you'd often see a man in.  It was my first attempt at trying push my comfort zone.  I've got plenty of fancy dress costume items but not really day to day stuff, and again, friends are used to me wearing female costumes to fancy dress.  I like pastel colours, pale greens and blues, pinks, subtle yellows and beiges, anything in Gingham check, but also black which I guess normally makes an item look a better fit.  I've ordered a necklace, earrings are for sometime in the future.

  

It's kind of a relief to be able to write this stuff, get it out and share, but in an environment where it's accepted and I won't be seen as odd.  It's early days yet but I have a sense of excitement that I've not had in a long time.  It's sort of I want to shout it out from the rooftop, but without anyone hearing unless they're OK to hear it.  Can't really explain it.  It's like waiting for Xmas morning, but it isn't.  When I was waiting for the nightie to arrive I was clock watching ( "Postman's late today, what's happened!"), couldn't wait.

 

Thanks for being here.

X

 

 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Ye Ye said:

maybe when I'm more comfortable move on to a skirt.  Dresses are some way away, although I'm having difficulty envisaging myself in one

I can't see wearing these in the winter, but it would be nice to dress up for going out to resteraunt or special occasions.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jamie68 said:

I can't see wearing these in the winter,

I do it most of the time.  Layers.  Someone gave me some sweatshirt-type fabric and I made some petticoats with it.  And of course leggings are great in cold weather.  (But then, this is NC)

 

1 hour ago, Ye Ye said:

my favourite book is Pride & Prejudice

Yeah.  This was one of those clues that I tried to ignore.

Link to comment

Had my first online shop for clothes.  Nothing complicated yet, just a couple of tops, a bra and a cardigan.  Conscious of hair at the moment, have hairy arms and legs, it's going to be a big deal shaving them, and not just yet, need to get comfortable first before taking big steps.  Any tips on achieving as smooth as possible a face? I'm lucky at my age that wrinkles are very few.

 

 

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Ye Ye said:

  Any tips on achieving as smooth as possible a face? I'm lucky at my age that wrinkles are very few.

 

 

 

Ya know, I think as far as keeping a youthful complexion there are so many products out there and nothing like good ol' fashioned staying properly hydrated, getting enough rest and staying out of the direct sun can account for a lot IMO.

You do want to have some kind of daily facial cleansing routine to remove dead skin and keep the Pretty Skin Cell Making Machine running in peak production.

There is a thing about Vitamin C, I assume it helps metabolise iron, and the blood carries oxygen which all cells need, but I'm no rocket scientist. 

I use retinol wipes at night currently, and they make my face tingly and fruity so it makes me feel like I am proactive but I should probably research before I waste any of my efforts. 

I heard something about cabbage leaves, too offhand but I have a difficult time with keeping fresh produce, so I generally buy frozen and if I lay around with cabbage on my face, my cat will likely become overinterested and hide them throughout the house. 

Link to comment

I just noticed stveee you're in Columbus, Ohio.  I was there in 1997 on holiday, stayed in the Crown Plaza, don't know if it's still there, lovely city.  Had this weird weather thing - one morning not a cloud in sight, 20 minutes later a rainstorm, 20 mins after that not a cloud in sight.

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Ye Ye said:

I just noticed stveee you're in Columbus, Ohio.  I was there in 1997 on holiday, stayed in the Crown Plaza, don't know if it's still there, lovely city.  Had this weird weather thing - one morning not a cloud in sight, 20 minutes later a rainstorm, 20 mins after that not a cloud in sight.

It's doubled in size and population since.

We have a "microclimate" due to the river, surrounding landscape, and the concrete and asphault of cities in general tend to create additional heating. Science!

Link to comment
On 11/14/2021 at 10:27 AM, Ye Ye said:

I just noticed stveee you're in Columbus, Ohio.  I was there in 1997 on holiday, stayed in the Crown Plaza, don't know if it's still there, lovely city.  Had this weird weather thing - one morning not a cloud in sight, 20 minutes later a rainstorm, 20 mins after that not a cloud in sight.

 

That's Ohio! "If you don't like the weather here, just wait a minute." It isn't always that wild here, of course, but it does happen often enough.

 

A little further north from Columbus, up here where I am in the northern end of the state, we're one of only a handful of places in the world that gets "lake-effect" precipitation. It causes a few areas around here to often resemble northern Canada in the winter, and it also contributes to our weather being notoriously hard to predict. We're accustomed to our weather reports being more of a "maybe" than anything to rely too heavily upon!

 

Back to the topic though, finally getting and wearing the types of clothes you really like is a very nice thing, isn't it! I'm a nightie fan, too. I used to hate sleeping in anything other than underpants, but now my nighties are my favorite way to go. (Erm...when used in addition to underpants, that is!) They just feel so comfy and right ?

 

First nightie I ever ordered I wasn't happy with, though. It looked ok in the pictures, but when I got it, the decorative parts just seemed comically oversized and overall it felt like wearing a plastic garbage bag. Not my best choice. But I'm glad I didn't give up too quickly. The next nightie I bought I was much, much happier with.

Link to comment

Heather Nicole, nightie has turned out fine, though one of the tops turned out too small, the other too loose despite being same size!  I was aware that different manufacturers make their own sizes, it's a trial and error process.  I've got to be careful here, clothes shopping could become quite time consuming, it's like looking in the toy shop window as a child.  I seem to have a tendency to look at very 'girly' stuff, pinks, frills, lace, silk, then settle for something slightly less girly, perhaps I'm still trying to come to terms with this, almost a feeling of guilt, it'll pass, I know, but I'm very new to this and feeling my way.  Bought a really nice denim skirt with a pink heart on the pocket, hope it fits, and a red polker dot dressing gown.  I think I'm going to avoid dresses for at least the foreseeable future, I'm tall and they just don't seem like they'd fit well.  Skirts I think, especially long flowing ones.  I know, before anyone says it, this all sounds very Little House on the Prairie, but so what.  Pretty is how you perceive it, and to me it's that image, you know, woman with long hair running through field of long grass type of thing, advertising some long ago chocolate bar. I'm not going to apologise for being a sentimental chocolate box image type, I'll develop my taste over time and settle into what I like but feel comfortable with.  Almost bought a cute pinafore on ebay, old fashioned type, button at back of neck, below knee length (not sure what they're called in US), but the bidding went too high, and I felt a sense of loss at not having won it.

 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 126 Guests (See full list)

    • violet r
    • MaryEllen
    • April Marie
    • Pip
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,013
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. l.demiurge
      l.demiurge
  • Posts

    • April Marie
      Welcome to the forums, Violet! We glad you found us! No one here will judge you. Each of us is unique yet we all share some similarities. And many of us are in the relative early stages of self-discovery.   Take time to wander the sections of the forums. You’ll find lots of information and ideas.   Ask questions if you feel comfortable. You will find lots of people willing to share their experiences.   Is it possible for you to possibly work with a gender therapist? Many of us have found that to be extremely helpful in finding our identity and out true selves.   Just jump in. We don’t bite! We’ve all been in some version of where you are.
    • April Marie
      Literally. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Shameless plug for my "Taylor" story down in Stories You Write.  I am not Taylor and the experiences she goes through are not what has happened to me, but there is an emotional expression that I think is the best way to say some things that I don't know how to say otherwise.  I am not Bob, either.  But you might find out some things about me by reading it.  And I hope it is a good read and you enjoy it.  I am not done with it.  If you would like to comment on it, I would appreciate it.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Tuesday night.  They had a quick supper together at a fast food place.  Bob went off to teach karate and Taylor locked herself inside her apartment and worked on her hiring plan.   First the web site problem.  The two guys who ran it were self-taught and knew little.  It currently had three pages, the Home page, the About page and the Contact page,  She asked them to work with Karen in terms of redesigning it and she needed three designs to show Gibbs tomorrow.  The problem was three fold: the two guys and Karen.  Millville was a small town and all three were relatives of members of the Board.  Millville, Millvale. She was doing it.  People here called it either way, sometimes in the space of a few seconds.  She thought it was Millville.  All three had complained about the work, because the two boys regarded it as done and untouchable, even though they actually had not worked on it at all for months.  Like a number of people, they showed up and collected generous pay checks and did nothing.  She had looked at a number of websites and she had been told the company wanted one both internal and external customers could log into.  Her chief difficulty at the moment there was that there was very little content.  She decided to send the three complainers out tomorrow to take numerous pictures of the thirty acres  Or was it forty?  No one seemed to care. She cared, because she needed to get it right.  She debated outsourcing the website to a company, but first she needed something to outsource, and before then she needed to decide whether to keep these people.  She didn't need to mess with them.  So she decided to recommend they hire an experienced website developer with management skills. Would such a person come to Millville?  The schools were good, because the company had poured money into them, and the streets were well paved.  The company had bought all the abandoned houses and maintained them, hoping someday they would be filled again. Millville was crime-free.  People did not lock their doors. Neighborly. Very conservative, but in a good way.  Hard working, ethical, honest. Maybe the Chinese money was corrupting the town?  Not sure.  So she thought they would hire someone, even if it were a remote position.  She would rather have them here, but she would take what she would get.  That would move the website out of her hair. Secondly, she needed an effective presenter.  She could not do all these presentations herself.  She had natural talent but a lot could be passed on. She needed another Mary and another Brenda, or their understudies, effective hardworking people.   Bob. Was he okay with this?  He said she was Management.  Was that a problem?  And she was now earning a ridiculous salary, which she put down to company dysfunction more than anything she had done.  Was that a problem? She was not sure.  He was highly competitive and he had that male ego.  She did not.  A feeling of guilt rose.   Her therapist had brought up her feelings of guilt about not making Dad's expectations, never being the man Dad wanted her to be.  She never could, and this physical evidence backed that up.  What would the doctor say?  She thought about it, and that her therapist said she needed to find a sexual assault survivor's group more than a transgender group right now. Was there one here?  She thought about serving in a women's shelter.  There was one here, oddly enough connected to the church they had visited.  That F on her drivers' license would help.  She was waiting until after she talked to the doctor again to move on that stuff.   Was Bob really buying 160 acres near the old air strip on speculation?  Much of the land around Millville had been for sale for a long time.  That land was being offered at a dollar an acre, the owners having inherited it and now living out of state. Common knowledge.  They would take the first offer, and it had been for sale since the airstrip closed twenty years ago. Airstrip.  That would help.  Not tonight. Focus, girl, she told herself, and read over her notes to do so, which were making less sense the further down she went. It was eleven, and she gave up and went to bed.
    • violet r
      .my name is violet. I'm new here and thus is my first try at forums. I'm 45 and just recently having came to terms of who I really am. Thought a lot of self discovery since I stopped drinking. Drinking was my coping mechanism to hide a lot of thing. There were plenty of signs though the years. As I look back. That i hid inside. Now really sure what made all of this bubble to the surface at this time in my life.  Mabye it was waiting for me to be open minded and ready to accept that I am trans. I have a very unhealthy environment at home that is anti trans. I really don't know what else to say but hi. I hope everyone here will be accepting of me and me work through my journey of finding the real me. I know that since I accepted it I have been much happier than I can remember. Being to real me makes me happy. I hate having to hide this all the the time at home. I work retail management and have no idea if I could even stay in this business if I am to fully come out. Wow that was scary saying all that. It's a first for me
    • Ivy
      It is a lifesaver for a lot of us.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Thanks.  What I do as a man is what a woman would do if she were a man.  There is just something feminine about the way I act as a man.  It's not that being a woman is actually better, or something to aspire to, but it is just that I am one, while not being one.   If beating my head bloody to get rid off this stupid dysphoria would fix it I would find the nearest wall, but I know that if I did that, when I woke up, it would still be there.   If I did not have this struggle I would be someone else and I would be less of a person than I am.  They say an oak tree growing in an open field is far stronger than one in a forest.  The storms come and go and I stand.   This forum is the first time I have interacted with other people struggling with the same struggle and parallel struggles. It helps.
    • Ashley0616
      I'm sorry! :( Hopefully something better will come up
    • Ashley0616
      Thank you! Did great with the kids
    • Sally Stone
      That's me too, Mae.  I don't think it's me as much as it is the camera (that's my story anyway).  Cameras hate me.  I never met one that liked me.  I often wish I was photogenic; sadly, not so much.   However, you look terrific in that selfie! 
    • Sally Stone
      April, I'm so glad things went well when you came out to your spouse.  So often, things can go sideways.  It's a hurdle we all have to jump at some point.
    • violet r
      I totally understand what you just said. I can relate to this very well. I have a lot.of similar feelings.
    • KymmieL
      Well it is a no go for the new position. OH, well. nothing ventured nothing gained.   Kymmie
    • Davie
      Dickey Betts, the singer, songwriter, and guitarist of the Allman Brothers Band whose piercing solos, beloved songs and hell-raising spirit defined the band and Southern rock in general, died Thursday morning 04/18/2024 at the age of 80. Rest in peace...
    • MaeBe
      Thank you @Mirrabooka!
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...