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How did HRT change your sense of you?


Heather Shay

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For me the anziety, panic, depression, all that left me. I never felt as good in my life nor do I ever want to go back. Thank God my dysphoria wasn't as great as it could have been or else I'd never have made it to making this post. Having a long term marriage and living in a community where my old self is well known has made full transition difficult but it's worth it because I've never felt this good on the inside EVER.

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Hey Heather Shay I have been on HRT now for 3 months and the changes have been already huge. I am able to stay focused and I am not getting angry when interrupted like I used to. Also the constant buzzing or white noise in my head has faded out which allows me to be more relaxed and I am for the first time starting to enjoy life. Like you my dysphoria was never debilitating but it sure was there. Finding myself single before I decided to transition has made some thing easier but as far as my job only HR and my immediate supervisor know but I am have to float between my self and the male side at work, and I am starting to get impatient and want to just present as myself but I also no I have to take it one step at a time.

 

Hugs

Billie. 

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For me, the changes have been a combination of physical and mental. I've been on HRT a little over 11 months now, estradiol along with duotestaride (sp?), and the physical changes include developing noticeable curves and breasts, softer and clearerskin along with much less body hair; especially my beard which is pretty much gone now. (I did have both laser and electrolysis done, but when I started HRT I had to shave twice a day.)

 

Mentally, the changes include some pretty acute mood swings, but those have tapered off, much more patience and far less anger, as well being calmer and much more able to express my emotions. 

 

Finally, the physical changes seem to have accelerated over the last three months.

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The biggest change was that I no longer have to keep checking to see if I am staying in character.  In the before-time, it was like I was in a play, and I had to keep checking with the director to make sure I was following the script.  Now, I just get to be myself and not worry about it.  I can relax!

 

Like @Heather Shay, I am married and living in a community where my old self was well known.  However, people here are accepting (or at least tolerant), so being me is way easier than being that other guy.  And that makes me joyful.  I never felt joy before.  People said, "Follow your joy", and I was like, "Huh??  What's that?"  Now, I have some joy, and I love it.

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I get it about the joy. Before HRT I had neither joy nor happiness. Certainly, I had joyful moments--when my daughters were born for example--but I never had any permanent sense of joy or happiness that I can recall. Now I do. And, there is a difference between joy and happiness.

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At 3 weeks away from 2 years on estradiol (patches), I have reached a level of comfort with my body and my mind.  Stress is so much less, anger has vanished, replaced by acts of kindness to my spouse and others that are genuinely felt.

 

For me, HRT is a decision that was definitely worthwhile, and from which I could have benefitted from starting much earlier, had I the insight that I have now.

 

Astrid

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  • 4 months later...
On 11/10/2021 at 11:59 AM, Marcie Jensen said:

I get it about the joy. Before HRT I had neither joy nor happiness. Certainly, I had joyful moments--when my daughters were born for example--but I never had any permanent sense of joy or happiness that I can recall. Now I do. And, there is a difference between joy and happiness.

Never been a parent but I can certainly tell the difference now between the latter. Haven't had any sad moments in transition yet, but I came from a very dark level of hiding from the marriage until she left. Had a few very happy cries surprise me with the close support friends. Didn't realize until they pulled it out of me how much I was the victim of a narcisistic woman. Vuldnderability is a new thing for me. It's a little scary but in a good way :)

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It's really feels as just becoming who I really am, who I was born to be. All the physical and emotional "changes" are like things falling into place. My skin feels quite different and is, but yet like everything else, it's become "natural" to me. Emotions are definitely like doors have opened, lots of different variations there. I think I expected a kind of "novelty" to it but actually HRT has been like a desert has been finally had rains after a long drought. Nature simply takes its course. There is something quite subtle and proufound: not earth-shattering revolution, but sweet, soft and patient. 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

It's so weird how HRT made me look better, like my facial features are less sharp and more feminine, but like others are saying, I feel so much more patient, at peace, and SO much less irritable. Also, more optimistic.  I didn't expect such a dramatic difference. But I'm really grateful.

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  • 6 months later...
On 11/10/2021 at 11:59 AM, Marcie Jensen said:

I get it about the joy. Before HRT I had neither joy nor happiness. Certainly, I had joyful moments--when my daughters were born for example--but I never had any permanent sense of joy or happiness that I can recall. Now I do. And, there is a difference between joy and happiness.

This really hit me... It makes so much sense Except for the birth of my son was neither joyful or a happy moment. It was definitely profound seeing it happen but I truly felt sad. But yeah the depression throughout my life was confusing because I could never figure out why. This is soooo encouraging to hear 

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  • 1 month later...

HRT was amazing for me.  I'm about 2.5 months in and have experienced some physical and psychological improvements.  The latter is by far the best, because I am feeling much more comfortable in my body now.  My gender dysphoria has reduced, generally, possibly due the stage my electrolysis treatments are at now - hard to notice more than a few facial hair between visits.  I am absolutely loving being a woman and it's been so easy for me (mostly).  I love not having to think about how others might judge me because of the words/actions I'm about to say/do.  I'm also reveling in the caring for and helping of other people.
On the physical front, I love the change in the way my skin feels already - long way to go I expect.  I definitely have breast growth - started running without thinking or a bra twice, stopped almost immediately.  My wife suggest that I avoid going downstairs (we have two male boarders in our house) without a top on, not that the thought had entered my mind.  My wife has also suggest that my face looks more feminine and there is an inkling of shape to my hip.

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