changes?

[swallow]

Hi everyone!

 

Hope y'all are doing swell.

 

Come Friday will be my First month on HRT!🤗

 

I'm not sure if I feel very much different or see any changes.🤔

 

I think maybe a bit more fat on my bum?

 

But I dunno...it doesn't look terribly different...maybe I'm on Placebo?🤨

 

All I am worried about though is going to the doctor in Friday and them telling me I've gained weight.

 

I don't believe I have but I have been hungrier of late (although could be just that its getting kinda cold or I'm getting colder or something)🥶

 

Certainly in the nipple department, things look fairly similar. 🤫

 

Well, I guess I'll wait to see what the doctor says in 3 days.

 

I'm still getting 'misgendered' (I mean in a good way like seen as female) in public settings which I guess is good.

 

The rather stern no nonsense lady at the AAA clocked me as a 'Miss' as did a Gentleman in the self check out Aisle of the Supermarket recently who graciously let me go ahead of him bc he said I had my hands full ( 4 items bless him)☺️

 

And the male drivers still stop for me to let me go first now and again.

 

But I'm not sure how my 'Non Strangers' feel about me.

 

I had a picture taken recently with me in a tight crop top and (quite obvious) breast shape (BC of the Bra underneath mostly) and posted it on my Instagram. My mom who is turning 80 in 4 months seems to have liked the picture... I think maybe her eyesight is failing.🙄

 

Of course deep inside I was hoping she knows and has given me a pass.😌

 

On Bras, I think the social media is also coming on to me bc I have started to get a slew of advertisements on my Facebook for Bras...

 

And not just Bras but Bras for small chested women AAA size, created by small chested women bless them.🤭

 

How ever did they know?

 

Anyway hoping this is all part of the normalcy of low dosage transition. No mood sings or hot flashes thank god!😅

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Charlize]

I kept waiting for some kind of change simply slap me.  I think what helped me the most was thinking about how long it takes a girl to develop.  Over time others noticed the changes more than i do.  While i'm glad you are seeing your doctor soon i wouldn't worry too much especially if you are already passing.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[swallow]

Many thanks Charlize.

 

Because, any perception of physical change or evidence that I am passing does help.

 

After all, I am the one that needs convincing the most.🙄

 

I sat down today and felt I was a bit more 'haunchy' (not sure if this is a word). Looked at myself in the bathroom before a shower and feel like I'm getting ever so slightly more thick around the upper thighs/hips.🤔

 

It's spurring me to take other steps.

 

Already I am using my 'girl' voice a bit more albeit still bashfully and intermittently.

 

I'm thinking of doing the electrolysis next. I don't have much facial hair frankly so hopefully it won't cost. My sister is mulling gifting it to me as a Christmas Present...she had her own experience with this (I never knew women did this too)😊

 

Will ask the clinic for a recommendation. They said they were gonna recommend me a voice coach as well (hopefully covered by insurance)

[Red_Lauren.]

We for sure notice changes in our selfs last, and it's because we see our selfs everyday, and see our bodies naked everyday, so we don't really see the changes. Till people keep pointing it out, our clothes don't fit, or we look at old pictures. 

 

The lady that dose my brows, and hair. I only see her about once a month, and last time I saw her. She looked at me, and was amazed how hormones have changed just not my body, but my face also. She was like everytime I see you. You are looking more and more feminine. My boss at my other job has also been saying that a lot also, and she sees me daily. Apprently I've been getting a butt. As she has been saying it for a few months now. I didn't believe her. Till I went to throw on a pair of jeans. Yea by butt has grown. 

 

In the end. We are the last to notice changes. If you really are experiencing chnages at one month. Congrats to you. I didn't notice small changes till about 3 months in. Since June I've seen the most rapid, and more physical changes at a rapid pace. 

[Audrey]

Hi there @swallow, congratulations on your one month HRT anniversary the other day! Like you, I was (and still am!) very tuned in to anything that might be related to taking it. I am happy to read about the little joys you are experiencing already! If you are interested, I posted about a week ago about my experiences so far on oral estradiol in another thread on the forums.

 

I joke to myself sometimes that one of the most obvious milestones in my transition is when my web browser cookies flagged me as female and reflected that in the ads I would see. 😇

 

Love,

~Audrey.

[Susan R]

On 11/30/2021 at 10:08 PM, swallow said:

Come Friday will be my First month on HRT!

Congrats on this milestone, @swallow  I remember how important that 1 month on HRT was for me too. You’re going to be experiencing so many more. This is a quite the magical time for you. It sounds like there’s a lot of very good things happening in your life as a result of the changes emotionally and physically. I am very happy for you.

 

My Best,

Susan R🌷

[stveee]

And probably the most profound change:

 

Several studies have found that hormone therapy in transgender women causes the structure of the brain to change in the direction of female proportions.^{[308][309][310][311][312]} In addition, studies have found that hormone therapy in transgender women causes performance in cognitive tasks, including visuospatial, verbal memory, and verbal fluency, to shift in a more female direction.^[308][305]

 

^{(from Feminizing Hormone Therapy Wiki)}

 

 

[Guest]

You’ll know it’s kicking in when you start crying and laughing at the same time. We get so caught up in the physical but it’s so much more than that. I often wonder if or when our pheromones change. 

[Audrey]

7 hours ago, Erica Gabriel said:

I often wonder if or when our pheromones change. 

I wondered about this one too. I am quite sure that I smell different in general, and it is most noticeable if I have been sweating. I do not know much about how pheromones work, but it seems plausible that estrogen is working some magic that I cannot see. As I reflect on this drinking my coffee, I am struck by the contrast between feeling almost invisible to the world before, almost like a ghost, to now where the amount of eye contact I get tells me that I am most definitely visible. A presence, if you will. Many of these people looking are (cisgender) men. Are pheromones part of this? All that said, I am learning to be more comfortable with the idea of being seen as attractive, because for so many years, I constantly told myself that I was unattractive and acted as such.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

[Guest]

40 minutes ago, Audrey said:

I wondered about this one too. I am quite sure that I smell different in general, and it is most noticeable if I have been sweating. I do not know much about how pheromones work, but it seems plausible that estrogen is working some magic that I cannot see. As I reflect on this drinking my coffee, I am struck by the contrast between feeling almost invisible to the world before, almost like a ghost, to now where the amount of eye contact I get tells me that I am most definitely visible. A presence, if you will. Many of these people looking are (cisgender) men. Are pheromones part of this? All that said, I am learning to be more comfortable with the idea of being seen as attractive, because for so many years, I constantly told myself that I was unattractive and acted as such.

 

Love,

~Audrey.

In her first book, She’s Not There, Jennifer Finney Boylan wrote that there was a day when she was at a bar with her friend, Russo, wearing just jeans and a t-shirt. No makeup or jewelry. She became aware that she had reached another unforeseen milestone in her transition when the waitress referred to her as “ma’am” (I’m just paraphrasing this from memory) despite having put little effort into lookin feminine.

[Guest]

Swallow,

The advertising follows you wherever you go on the internet. Google for instance, and likely others, use deep packet technology and pretty much scan email and other correspondence for any potential information that can be used for marketing. The only way to end that is to dump your cookies frequently. Private industry collects more private information on us than any government would hope to collect. Databases are an amazing thing. If the average person realized how much private information is not private on the internet...Despite all of the proclamations of how much these companies say they protect our privacy, they usually bury their disclaimers in so many confusing notices or pop-ups that you never read the stuff. Some websites are great about truly not collecting cookies, but many do anyway, including Google. Despite Apple's proclamations about privacy, I suspect they do it to some extent as well.

 

Congratulations on the HRT. I hope you have a great time on the path. The question of brain changes has been debated in the past. Some research a while ago looked at the brain structures of transgender MTF in comparison brains and there was a consideration that we already had some defining characteristics in common with cisgender female brains. I will check some databases I have and see if I can pull some more information. It is very likely we will have some brain related changes as a result of changing hormonal teams so to speak. 

 

Boylan's book is a great read. I read that book and I saw so many similarities. It drove home some things I had not thought about over the years. There is another book that is interesting to read called It Never Goes Away by Anne Koch. That was another book that drove home the journey we face, as well as how, no matter what we do, we are who we are. I will have to take note of the smell thing when I get to that point. I am in my first month of HRT as well. I had a hankering for a salad the other night...nah, probably not the estradiol. This is going to be a fun journey. I had a cousin tell me that I should pray these feelings away. With that thought, the day is afoot!

Sincerely

Katie

[Guest]

I’ve read the Anne Koch book and, while it has some valuable information, she comes across as a horrible, narcissistic person. 

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, Katie23 said:

I had a hankering for a salad the other night...nah, probably not the estradiol.

Heh heh.   I've developed a taste for White Claws and less IPAs these days.  

[Elizabeth Star]

On 12/1/2021 at 12:08 AM, swallow said:

Hi everyone!

 

Hope y'all are doing swell.

 

Come Friday will be my First month on HRT!🤗

 

I'm not sure if I feel very much different or see any changes.🤔

 

I think maybe a bit more fat on my bum?

 

But I dunno...it doesn't look terribly different...maybe I'm on Placebo?🤨

 

All I am worried about though is going to the doctor in Friday and them telling me I've gained weight.

 

I don't believe I have but I have been hungrier of late (although could be just that its getting kinda cold or I'm getting colder or something)🥶

 

Certainly in the nipple department, things look fairly similar. 🤫

 

Well, I guess I'll wait to see what the doctor says in 3 days.

 

I'm still getting 'misgendered' (I mean in a good way like seen as female) in public settings which I guess is good.

 

The rather stern no nonsense lady at the AAA clocked me as a 'Miss' as did a Gentleman in the self check out Aisle of the Supermarket recently who graciously let me go ahead of him bc he said I had my hands full ( 4 items bless him)☺️

 

And the male drivers still stop for me to let me go first now and again.

 

But I'm not sure how my 'Non Strangers' feel about me.

 

 

On Bras, I think the social media is also coming on to me bc I have started to get a slew of advertisements on my Facebook for Bras...

 

And not just Bras but Bras for small chested women AAA size, created by small chested women bless them.🤭

 

How ever did they know?

 

Anyway hoping this is all part of the normalcy of low dosage transition. No mood sings or hot flashes thank god!😅

 

Sorry I'm late to the party, Happy Anniversary!

 

It's amazing how all the ads suddenly change. Within a matter of hours after updating my profile on fb I was getting ads for Midol and "toys". It's like they were waiting to pounce as soon as they got the green light. I was feeling like slow down there buddy, I'm not ready for all that. Most of the adds I get now are for clothes and of course bras.

 

I was worried about weight gain being a problem since I was eating anything I could find for the first year. I had to remember that my body is not only trying to deposit fat in the right places but also burn it off in others. When people wold say something about how much I was eating I just told them my little fat moving forklifts need fuel. Now after two years my weight has only changes a couple pounds but clothes fit totally different. I tried on a pair of old jeans for fun and there was no way I could get them over my butt.

 

On the boob thing. A lot of people, including myself, got the ouchies. You'll think they're little itchy and sensitive until you catch one of the girls on the refrigerator door or in my case a wayward elbow from my supervisor. I wasn't out at work at the time and it almost dropped me to my knees.

 

My interactions with people is definitely a lot different.  Women tend to give a friendly smile when I pass them. Even with a mask on I can still see it. I smile back. Men are a lot more friendly and helpful. Holding doors (still getting used to that) and letting me go ahead of them in line.

 

IMHO you're progressing pretty good for being a little over a month in.

 

[swallow]

Hi,

 

So many wonderful responses and experiences shared. Many thanks everyone!

 

I've been SOOOOOO busy I have not had time to do anything but work since my last post.

 

Wishing everyone SEASONS GREETINGS and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 

Katie 23 -great to find a fellow traveller at the same stage of the journey as myself. 😊

 

and everyone thanks for the book recommendations.

 

I have not had much time to notice changes last couple of weeks but I caught up with an old producer friend of mine (from school days) and his new (well not that new I've just never met her) wife.😬

 

He said he noticed I look different so I quibbed I was getting older perhaps.🤭

 

I think he's trying to make sense of it (having botched one of our friend's coming out (as Bisexual) some time back. He gave me a strange book for Xmas, it's (one of) his favorite artist, a Pseudo-Hermaphrodite.🤔

 

but in any case, I have been feeling at times slightly itchy and at times slighty achy around my nipples (The left one feels a little harder than usual). I'm not sure if this is part of the course of changes.

 

Unfortunately because of work, I've kept my voice for convenience till the gig ends next month.

 

Today I went to get some food from a take out. I ordered my food and went back to the car where my son was waiting. I notice the man inside was staring out at me.🙄

 

He did not react when I was in the store when I was ordering the food but as soon as I left, it was all eyes on me.

 

I guess one has to get use to being somewhat of a curiosity for people.😏

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Red_Lauren.]

18 minutes ago, swallow said:

I guess one has to get use to being somewhat of a curiosity for people.😏

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yea my female friends call me their Amazon. Being 6ft tall, and after a year of hormones, and leaving heavy manual labor. I don't quite look like a former linebacker, but im still big. The funny thing is I visually, and vocally pass even up close. Apparently people aren't use to seeing a confident 6ft woman, so I understand when people are curious about you. 

[swallow]

I see big and tall women everywhere...(maybe its my hood)🤔

 

I was a bit self conscious when shopping for shoes but noticed other women perusing the same aisle (The size 10s)

 

Nobody pays me mind until I open my mouth and bust the image.

 

But people seem nice enough even so, like today at the self check out of the supermarket, I get 'Hon' all the time because I generally think I look kinda lost and in need of some kind of help....and I'm not even at old age yet.😬

 

At this point I'm more concern about my aging brain than a change of brain structure....took me a while to remember my password yesterday and I still forgot it again today.

At work I'm determined to keep up with the other (VERY HIGHLY ORGANIZED SUPER MULTITASKING) ladies in the team...but my brain is such a mush sometimes.😧

 

I read somewhere that being on hormones may effect brain function/memory...goodness.😶

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

I seem to remember reading something about memory loss but I can’t remember where 🤓

[Lexi C]

Hey

So sorry very late to the party.

But I'm on my 4yr on HRT.

I start notice change by the 6 month.

However, I am bald and need to wear a wigs (and not the expensive one either) which triggers my Dysphoria like really bad, 

However, i hardly wear make -up any more cause my face and body look very Fm

Good Luck

[Guest]

I guess I am lucky in a way. I am not sure my testosterone has been working all that well prior to HRT starting a month ago. I had already noticed being softer, and a bit more emotional at time (tears during a tear jerker type stuff). I was shocked when I found out my T level was normal. I think I may have some androgen insensitivity though. Anyway, my skin has responded rapidly. I am really happy with the results. Now some of it may be the low carb/intermittent fasting that I am doing as well, but between everything including the IPL device, my legs are really feeling great. The change in my skin texture is also very welcome. I could no be happier with the progress.

[swallow]

hi,

 

I can't say I feel very different...itch and like soreness around nipples aside🥴

 

OTOH I feel like I have become more acutely aware of women scoping me out.🤔

 

Just notice the secretive and not so secretive glances so much more.

 

The other day I went to drop off cookies to my manager. On the way back into my apartment, I had to walk by a woman waiting on her dog by the curb.

 

As I walked toward the entrance, I caught the reflection from the glass on the door of her literally boring into my back with her yes from behind. She stared for a good few minutes as I then struggled to get the door open as I usually do.🧐

 

It go me wondering if I had some sort of wardrobe malfunction perhaps...🙄

 

Next day I got into my leggings (for the first time in a while)

 

I noticed I filled it out much better.🤗

 

Today as I walked to the store for a quick raid, the sun was behind me and I noticed from my shadow I was jiggling a little on the thighs when walking.

 

I'm not sure about touch because I've always been ultra sensitive to touch. My skin has always been hairless and smooth.

 

But I do have an increase yearning to be touched by someone except it's only made me feel even more wishful that my partner was still around.

 

It could be my imagination but I think I'm also more acutely aware of my scent? Been having to sleep on my couch because my daughter is back from college (now remote bc of covid up tick) and on remote learning at home. Its been rather cold so I use my thin top Indian cotton shirt to cover gaps in the comforter.

 

I've always complained about our communal laundry and how I never felt my laundry smelt clean enough but I've been noticing a mild sweet scent from my cotton shirt.☺️

 

Its hard to tell because I generally don't smell much in the armpits although oddly I tend to perspire there when wearing tank tops and driving only.🤔

 

I've also felt a lot colder than I normally do this winter but then some others have also complained about the temperature.

 

It's too early to tell if these are signs of changes or just in my head...?

 

 

[Red_Lauren.]

21 hours ago, swallow said:

hi,

 

I can't say I feel very different...itch and like soreness around nipples aside🥴

 

OTOH I feel like I have become more acutely aware of women scoping me out.🤔

 

Just notice the secretive and not so secretive glances so much more.

 

The other day I went to drop off cookies to my manager. On the way back into my apartment, I had to walk by a woman waiting on her dog by the curb.

 

As I walked toward the entrance, I caught the reflection from the glass on the door of her literally boring into my back with her yes from behind. She stared for a good few minutes as I then struggled to get the door open as I usually do.🧐

 

It go me wondering if I had some sort of wardrobe malfunction perhaps...🙄

 

Next day I got into my leggings (for the first time in a while)

 

I noticed I filled it out much better.🤗

 

Today as I walked to the store for a quick raid, the sun was behind me and I noticed from my shadow I was jiggling a little on the thighs when walking.

 

I'm not sure about touch because I've always been ultra sensitive to touch. My skin has always been hairless and smooth.

 

But I do have an increase yearning to be touched by someone except it's only made me feel even more wishful that my partner was still around.

 

It could be my imagination but I think I'm also more acutely aware of my scent? Been having to sleep on my couch because my daughter is back from college (now remote bc of covid up tick) and on remote learning at home. Its been rather cold so I use my thin top Indian cotton shirt to cover gaps in the comforter.

 

I've always complained about our communal laundry and how I never felt my laundry smelt clean enough but I've been noticing a mild sweet scent from my cotton shirt.☺️

 

Its hard to tell because I generally don't smell much in the armpits although oddly I tend to perspire there when wearing tank tops and driving only.🤔

 

I've also felt a lot colder than I normally do this winter but then some others have also complained about the temperature.

 

It's too early to tell if these are signs of changes or just in my head...?

 

 

Woman will notice everything about you. From top to bottom, and good or bad. I swear they notice a lot more then men do. I've actually had woman jealous of my breast. Heck my boss is, and she's like family to me. 

 

A few months ago. I was walking over the the grocery store to get lunch. As I was walking. There is a wall of glass on my right. I check out my reflection as I walk, and noticed my butt was a lot more round then it ever was before. 

 

As the for cold. Yea it was -30 with a wind chill here today. I miss being my own furnace. 

[swallow]

Hi Lauren,

 

I check myself in every possible reflection all the time!

 

At first I felt I was being vain but then I realise it was also an issue with insecurity that something may not be on point with my clothing. 🙄

 

...which is prob why like a good spy from a John le Carre Novel, I caught sight of that woman giving me the twice over.🕵️‍♀️

 

I thought it could be my attire but I was wearing an unseasonal loose cotton paperbag waist trouser (It was laundry day...the cold was zipping right thru them)🥶

 

Small price to pay for no issues with VPL I suppose(which I normally have)

 

I've yet to get myself sorted with my leggings. I usually wear one of those black high waist control panties. I try to bunch it up a bit at the back to avoid the VPL but inevitably it prefers to slip back down.🤨

 

Still not as bad when I was wearing them and did not notice the marks on the knees.🤔

 

I like to get on my knees to write at my low Japanese table...but once I turned up to turn some work in with marks on my leggings and some of the crew asked me if I enjoy working on my knees which I replied "of course yes, I'm on my hands and knees all the time"...until later someone explained there was another connotation to such a question, which explain the mirth and merriment earlier (clearly at my expense).😳

 

So I have adjusted that behaviour accordingly.😌

 

This week, I feel as if (again could be wishful thinking) my eye lashes are longer than before.🤗

 

I fluttered them in the mirror and they look rather enticing.

 

I have to take note and be careful with my disposition lest I send out the wrong signals (or maybe the right ones)🤭

 

If they keep growing out, I won't have need to experiment on those magnetic falsies I bought. The amount of time it took to wash out the liner that came with it that ended in one eye...🥴

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

Swallow,

 

It is not your imagination. I have noticed lengthening of my eyelashes too. I was amazed at that little evolution!

Sincerely

Katie

[Guest]

Another unexpected change, in my dreams I am now female. Oh, and last week I had a dream in which I was pregnant.