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Thanksgiving Musings


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As I take more and more steps down my transition path (with the next step hopefully being HRT), I sit here on Thanksgiving surrounded by family and it's bittersweet. I love my wife and my kids and even my in laws, and it dawned on me this morning that this is very likely our last "normal" Thanksgiving. By this time next year, I will hopefully be out to all of my family (my wife already knows) and several months down the HRT road. How do I contend with being the reason family holidays get turned upside down, at least temporarily? Realistically, I don't even know how everyone will react to this...this may well be the last Thanksgiving that I'm invited to for awhile. I really don't know. Did anyone else have these sorts of thoughts as you began your journey? I'm just struggling a little bit today is all, definitely not meaning to bring down the mood. Thanks for reading.

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The word "normal" has NEVER fitted our lives, and even if you look back, you will see changes that have happened over the years and each will leave its mark to make the day unique, but not "normal" ever.  Next year there will be changes as well and not just your transitioning that will do it.  My core family has shrunk greatly over the years due to age and yes, deaths, some changes due to where others had to live for their careers and for attention to other parts of their families.  Even my Chosen Family of the past few years has seen changes and we will not be celebrating as we had for a while.  This has led me to a feeling this year that CHANGE is something to be grateful for in many ways.  I will be alone today and I will meet with other remaining local family over the next few days for food and conversation, but I am relishing the time alone today.  By now of course I have been out and Transitioned for over a decade so it is not my being Trans that is the issue.  Be grateful and look forward to the changes in years to come that the real YOU who has longed for the time after time will be seen and celebrated.

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I briefly had the same thoughts and my experience was I saw that if there were going to be any significant changes in family dynamics, it probably wouldn't have anything to do with me. Although I may have a "unique" path, it is no greater or lesser than anyone else's. 

Although the backstory is, there were years of upheaval being in an alcoholic family, so I think we who remain have grown and burned out on any drama- life is short. 

I could choose to feed into my fear, and be on the outside and feel sorry "no one understands me", or put in the effort (and let's admit, extra effort for us trans people), and look at the similarities instead of differences. 

Being able to live authentically has also yeilded an easter egg of seeing myself more realistically, too, and created a sense of humility and maturity. So being trans for me is very much as much about my spirituality [character development] as it is being pretty :)

They actually go hand in hand!

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