Letting Her Out

[Jamey-Heather]

I have found that, the more I let "her" out (the real me) the stronger and healthier she becomes. It is an amazing feeling. Of course, the flip side is days like today where she hasn't been out for a couple of days and I feel her dying. I know she's not (she's the real me, after all!), but it is what I experience, however irrational. I want her out so bad, to just take this body over and live. And thanks to you all, I have more hope than ever that this will happen. I just hope I don't lose my wife in the process. Love and hugs to all ❤

[Susan R]

39 minutes ago, Jamey said:

I want her out so bad, to just take this body over and live. And thanks to you all, I have more hope than ever that this will happen. I just hope I don't lose my wife in the process. Love and hugs to all ❤

Your statement above tells me you are heading in the right direction. This is how I felt early in my transition also. Being authentic feels right and freeing so it’s no surprise that you struggle to hide again. It’s truly difficult and I remember the feeling all too well.

 

In regards to keeping your spouse, all you can do is hope. With good communication, understanding through providing good information, love and of course, time…there is always hope.

 

All My Best,

Susan R🌷

[helena]

On 12/6/2021 at 9:24 AM, Jamey said:

I have found that, the more I let "her" out (the real me) the stronger and healthier she becomes. It is an amazing feeling. Of course, the flip side is days like today where she hasn't been out for a couple of days and I feel her dying.

I know what you mean. I think it is the huge mitigation of anxiety and distress, the feeling that almost everything is normal. Still I'm having doubts about myself. Is this truly what (note: not who) I am? And still, nothing beats that feeling of normality.

 

I hope all well to you all and to @Jamey hope everything will work out with your wife!

-H

[Jamey-Heather]

Helena, thank you so much! I "know" what OR who I am when I'm alone. Our society     makes me feel safer when I'm NOT that. It would be SO much easier if I could be who I appeared to be. But I'm not. No judgement on myself or any one else who has to hide ❤❤❤

[Heather Shay]

Jamey I am so proud of you.

Heather

[nobodyspecial1973]

i know how you feel for the most part as i am in kind of a sticky situation. i live in a group home for now . but it's really proving hard to find a place i feel safe to let the true me out becides that it's not safe for me here beacuse one of my so called housemates is transphobic. so i have to keep things on the low end .  meh

[Sorourke]

Jamey I know exactly how you feel and you put it so beautifully I just want her to be free too. 
❤️ Hugs

Stefi

[Charlize]

Jamey,

    Thank you for sharing.  You brought me back to the feeling  of sadness and desperation so often experienced when i had to "put on" my male costume after some time as myself.  In the long run those feelings moved me to transition.

 We all travel our own paths but share so many feelings.

     I was fortunate to get through transition with my wife.  I know she preferred him but accepts me as i am.  I could no longer live that lie and am at peace with myself.

    Give yourself time and try to enjoy the journey despite the difficulty.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Katie M]

Oh, Jamey I know just what you're feeling. The only way I could describe it was a literal ACHE to be me and to be free. While I'm well on my way to complere freedom, I'm still reaching for all my goals. I'll make it, and SO WILL YOU! 💋

[Sorourke]

Charlize thank you so much it’s so helpful to be able to talk about this, I hope my wife will accept me when I get the courage to tell her, I feel so guilty not being honest with her, I love her so much but know she needs to know the genuine authentic me 

hugs Stefi

[Sorourke]

Hi Katie, yes it is like an ache to be free and just to live like everyone else. But even though it’s so hard I wouldn’t want to change the way I feel, I think the world would be a better place if there was more empathy understanding and sensitivity which we all share being transgender