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Newbie Nerves.....


Charlotte Ye Ye

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Four weeks now since I released Charlotte into an unsuspecting world.  I've already got to the stage of being terrified of being found out, but desperate to share this with someone I know.  I've got a clothes addiction, and have spent 2 hours online today trying to find a shoulder bag.  I laddered a pair of tights this morning, and managed to get lipstick on the ironing board.

 

I love being a woman.

 

Charlotte 

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  • Admin

I don't know your area, but there are societies just for gender diverse people in most regions.  They can help with the nerve issues and be a lot of fun.  Over in my state we have LGBTQ community centers who put on events just so people can get out with others like themselves.

 

 

-

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Hi Charlotte! It is lovely to meet you and I am happy to read about the little joys you had today! I can relate to the anxiety you are feeling now about being "found out" (clocked). It definitely kept me home for a long time early in my transition. So one of the first things I did is taking small steps to build my confidence. So I made a plan to meet a close friend at a local Starbucks that I could walk to from home. I put on some of the women's clothing that was then pretty new to me, and I pushed myself to walk the three blocks to get my latte. Yes I was super anxious for sure! But I tried my best not to show it and instead convey positive energy about the whole thing. And it was wonderful, none of the bad things I imagined could happen did, and instead there was the joy of telling the barista that my name is "Audrey" when asked! It was the beginning of living authentically all the time, as I had more and more positive experiences that motivated me to go more places and do more things. Now, when I see people are looking at me as I walk past, maybe I do have a passing thought that they are clocking me. But it is also just as possible they are admiring my courage and authenticity, or maybe something I am wearing! I hope this helps! ❤️

Love,

~Audrey.

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Well Charlotte,

 

I can empathize a great deal. Almost 3 months ago I stopped wearing men's clothing. I have found some good selections from a number of retailers. Stick to conservative clothing that does not call out unwanted attention. Dress to fit in with the crowd. Be confident, and you will. As for bags, I found a delightful hobo bag that I picked up at Kohl's. You do not need to get too fancy. I picked up a nice wallet there too. I now just go into the stores and go to what I am looking for. If anybody asks if I need help, I matter of factly tell them what I am looking for. It gets easier with every visit. I must admit that it is exciting getting a new wardrobe. I hated buying men's clothing. On the other hand, I just love shopping for women's clothing. Go and have some fun. Be careful, but you can have fun. Remember that bad things happen at night, so try to shop during the day. If you are really nervous, try early in the day or early afternoon. There is less traffic then. I obtained a credit card in my female name (authorized user). It is fun when they look at the card. I keep my pink iPhone in my bag along with my wallet. Enjoy the day!

-Katie

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I'm late 50's so for me just passing as a woman is the goal, none of the glamorous kitty image!  I'm instinctively drawn to images of the ideal woman, for me that would be Barbara Good (Felicity Kendal - no, I don't think it's ever been shown in the States) or Celia Johnson ( 40s and 50s British actress), but am realistic and just want the older housewife style, with a bit of cute stuff thrown in.  The buzz I get now is incredible, this has been missing from my life for far too long.  I'm lucky, in a way, because I live on my own now, so my home has no other considerations.

@Katie23 me too, I was the laziest men's clothes shopper ever.  Now, I can't walk past a clothes shop.  Charity shops (Thrift shops) are an Aladdin's cave, and I can get plenty of practice with styles and sizes without breaking the bank.

Thank you @Audrey .  I think I've got it in me to venture out, but not until I'm ready and have had plenty of practice with face make up.  When I'm ready I'll go to another town first, where I'm unlikely to bump into anyone I know.

 

Sorry, I'm literally bursting with happiness.  I love this new me.  I'll post a couple more pics over the next few days, it's a way of boosting my confidence that bit extra.

 

Charlotte.

 

 

 

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I don't know. I just said the heck with it. If I run into someone I know, well, they will figure it out. I am not running away. Amazingly, it just gets easier. I like me this way too much to go back.

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Another first!!!!

 

I've spent most of my adult life with arms so hairy it looked liked I was closely related to something that only started standing upright 2 million years ago.

 

Not any more.  Only done the forearms, up to the elbow.  Moisturised.  Wow.

 

Took ages.  It's that groove up the back of uour arm is the hardest.

 

Any tips on keeping them this way, without being given a leather strap to bite onto as some beauty technician rips great heaves of my skin off with waxing sheets?

 

 

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1 hour ago, Charlotte Ye Ye said:

Don't buy anything that zips up at the back, not when you're 58 !

From personal experience, don't try it if you are pushing 50! 😆

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Real shame, it's a beautiful Chinese style knee length sleeveless dress, fits like a glove, just can't get the blessed zip done up.  Just found a YouTube cheat that seems to work, use a wire coat hangar carefully.  All you have to do then is get it off afterwards !!!

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  • Forum Moderator

Using a safety pin or paperclip tied to a ribbon or strong string works to pull the zipper up and down.

 

Jani

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Charlotte,

 

I suffered with hairy arm syndrome for years, even after I began keeping my legs shaved.  Not anymore!  I keep my arms hair free using the same regimen I employ on the rest of my body - regular and routine shaving.  

 

I still wear lots of clothing that zips up the back, even though I am now on the backside of 60 (God, when did this happen?).  Usually, I pull the zipper as high as I can initially, and then I grab the garment at the nape of my neck and pull it upwards.  I raise the zipper a little higher, and then repeat this process until I'm zipped all the way up.  Still works for me, so you might give it a try.

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Thanks @Sally Stone I'll try that.  The one thing I'm going to steer clear of is assymetric, saw something yesterday that looked great on the manequin in the window, but it was all strips of material and straps and would have taken a degree in engineering design to actually put on correctly.  Couldn't figure out which were supposed to be the slits your arms went through !

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On 12/9/2021 at 3:04 PM, Charlotte Ye Ye said:

Another first!!!!

 

I've spent most of my adult life with arms so hairy it looked liked I was closely related to something that only started standing upright 2 million years ago.

 

Not any more.  Only done the forearms, up to the elbow.  Moisturised.  Wow.

 

Took ages.  It's that groove up the back of uour arm is the hardest.

 

Any tips on keeping them this way, without being given a leather strap to bite onto as some beauty technician rips great heaves of my skin off with waxing sheets?

 

 

Waxing isn’t too bad and subsequent visits become easier. Just think “big  ‘effin band aid”. I have my brows done and love the results.

 

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I know this is not much, but I took the bins out today, as myself.  I've not been here long so most people don't know me yet, and it's a very quiet area, I don't know whether anyone saw me.  I wanted to see how nervous I'd get, but surprisingly I wasn't at all.  Small steps.

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3 hours ago, Charlotte Ye Ye said:

took the bins out today, as myself.

That's a big deal to me!   I remember doing the same.  I would watch for cars coming down the road and try to time it so I could walk down and back without any one seeing me.  Before you know it, this will be second nature.  Neighbors give me a friendly wave now.  

 

Jani

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The more you get out the easier is gets. Whenever you prepare to take the next step in social transition, remember it's terrifying at first but gets easier as you become experienced.

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