Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

I Did It!


Amber76

Recommended Posts

I did it. I told my wife everything. And she couldn't have been more supportive. She asked if I wanted to go get dressed, which I was not ready to go, and asked questions that showed she would accept whatever extent I may transition. Her exact words were "we'll figure it out" but she asked my thoughts on surgery and seems more supportive of HRT than I had expected

 

I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings. I slayed the dragon but now have to deal with the meat - whatever comes next is going to involve more bravery, more work. 

 

But I did it! I'm large part thanks to the people on this site, in my corner. Thank you all

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
Just now, Amber76 said:

I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings.

Congratulations @Amber76. What a HUGE milestone! I am so happy for you. First, YOU DID IT! Secondly, your wife has accepted you for you! This is one of the most difficult conversations anyone can have and you made it out alive and better than EVER! What a wonderful start to a new year. I think life just got a little more exciting for you. Keep us updated, if you will.😁

 

All My Best,

Susan R🌷

Link to comment

Awesome!

I did this today with my mom too! She was supportive even if she didn't understand, and she cut my hair and read up on trans things and even got me some tips for binding alternatives (she brought up some valid health concerns regarding binders and what she suggested and found worked pretty good so far). We're going to get me new glasses tomorrow! I got "grandma glasses" and they make my face look super feminine, and I didn't like it so we're going to go find a more angular pair. 

And I got a piece of advice; Take your time and pace yourself. 

I kept pushing and pushing because I want a change now, but that will only end up hurting me in the long run, so the important part is to take your time and make informed decisions. Granted, I could have gone about trying to have a conversation in a better way (I started an argument because I'm on my period and I let myself spiral and get upset beforehand and didn't know how to broach the topic), but I'm glad we made something constructive out of it. 

And yeah, it's a lot of emotions and they're overwhelming but that's good! You're moving forward and I think you'll both do great!

Remember, I'm proud of you, so be proud of yourself!

You've got this! 

Quote

~Sol 💖

 

Link to comment
9 hours ago, Amber76 said:

I did it. I told my wife everything. And she couldn't have been more supportive. She asked if I wanted to go get dressed, which I was not ready to go, and asked questions that showed she would accept whatever extent I may transition. Her exact words were "we'll figure it out" but she asked my thoughts on surgery and seems more supportive of HRT than I had expected

 

I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings. I slayed the dragon but now have to deal with the meat - whatever comes next is going to involve more bravery, more work. 

 

But I did it! I'm large part thanks to the people on this site, in my corner. Thank you all

 

 

@Amber76, I am so happy for you!!  This is by far the hardest step, and now you have your best friend and ally with you on the journey.  Be proud of yourself that you did it; it is no small accomplishment.

 

I still remember the rush of euphoria when I heard my wife say, "Whatever you decide to do, I will support you."  That is when you know that you picked the right wife.

 

Enjoy the ride from her on.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Fantastic news @Amber76! I'm so happy for you! May your spouse continue to support you in all things as the two of you figure stuff out!

 

Congratulations to you as well @Sol! I hope your journey is every bit as fulfilling as mine has been.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Congratulations on a great step.  What wonderful acceptance to have received.  You will be transitioning together which certainly can smooth out asometimes bumpy ride.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Thank you all for the love. I'm really not sure what to feel ... To be honest I'm more scared now than I was before. Excited, yes, but I don't even know where or how to begin. And now different voices in my head are screaming all new things.

 

I didn't dress yesterday, or show her that me; and I'm not really ready to do that yet, as much as I may want to. I think I need to process a little. Or a lot.

 

A friend was supporting me, who didn't know what I was going through just cared. Was proud of me for slaying my personal dragon. I am too. I just don't know what I'm going to do with all this dragon meat now 🙄🤪🤢🥰😫💃😊🤓🤯

 

@Sol that's awesome I'm proud of you! It helps knowing we're in similar stages of our journeys. Congratulations! 🤗🤗🤗

 

@Jackie C.@Charlize @Artpetal@Susan R @KathyLauren it's words of encouragement like these and so many others that have helped me get further than I ever really thought possible

 

@Vidanjali special shout-out to you and the recommendation to check out Irene Lyon. I've been to many therapists over the years but nothing has helped me control my anxiety or manage my feelings better

Link to comment
11 hours ago, Amber76 said:

I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings. I slayed the dragon but now have to deal with the meat - whatever comes next is going to involve more bravery, more work.

That's great news Amber. Congratulations, you'll figure it out, and have a supportive teammate to help you be who you really are.

 

Hug,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Amber,

I am so happy for you.  It's amazing how much courage we can get from the support found here, isn't it.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf🐾

Link to comment

Bless you, @Amber76 . Don't be dismayed that you feel more scared now than ever. It could be just that you're allowing yourself to feel more than ever, and not that there's more to be feared. 

 

I'm looking forward to your upcoming classic cookbook, "101 delectable dragon meat recipes" 😂🐲🍖

 

I cannot take credit for the Irene Lyon recommendation - must have been someone else. But now that you mention her, I'll check her out too. Mo tools for processing trauma, mo better. 

 

Much love. 

Link to comment

woops almost missed your update Amber, so glad you are moving forward! Can totally relate with the various feelings all at once and happy your partner is supporting you, that is going to make a huge difference. 

Keep Going! 

but always, at your own pace

Link to comment

Sorry for the late response Amber, but I want to add my congratulations.  It is wonderful that your wife is understanding and supportive.  She still probably has a long way to go, however, so I'd recommend you continue to be patient with her.  It certainly does sound like a great beginning.  Hugs to you both.

Link to comment

Congratulations Amber!  I know how important it is to have an understanding wife.  You have some exciting times ahead!

Link to comment

Thank you all. It really means the world to me have all of your support. It makes next steps, whatever and whenever, that much less scary

Link to comment

Wonderful news @Amber76! Congratulations! Congratulations to you too @Sol! Telling someone we love in person seems to make it all the more real, at least for me. The first person I spoke the words, "I'm pretty sure I'm transgender," & later, "There's no doubt," to was my wife.

 

Hugs!

Delcina

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
On 12/29/2021 at 3:07 AM, Amber76 said:

I did it. I told my wife everything. And she couldn't have been more supportive. She asked if I wanted to go get dressed, which I was not ready to go, and asked questions that showed she would accept whatever extent I may transition. Her exact words were "we'll figure it out" but she asked my thoughts on surgery and seems more supportive of HRT than I had expected

 

I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings. I slayed the dragon but now have to deal with the meat - whatever comes next is going to involve more bravery, more work. 

 

But I did it! I'm large part thanks to the people on this site, in my corner. Thank you all

 

That is so great Amber.I wish you all the very best on your journey.Take care.

Link to comment

Thank you all! I do appreciate the support

 

Tbh it's been so anticlimactic. I feel like "so what" now.

 

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Just reading this, as it's my first day on the forum...I'm very happy for you and your wife!

Hugs!

Katie

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   10 Members, 0 Anonymous, 88 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • Lydia_R
    • Diana Stone
    • DeeDee
    • Jordyn1215225
    • Heather Nicole
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • Cynthina
    • Colleen Henderson
    • KymmieL
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      77.5k
    • Total Posts
      729k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      10,204
    • Most Online
      8,356

    annie11
    Newest Member
    annie11
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Andi
      Andi
      (43 years old)
    2. Arielle Lynne
      Arielle Lynne
      (73 years old)
    3. Bobbie Scott
      Bobbie Scott
      (65 years old)
    4. ewwiot
      ewwiot
      (21 years old)
    5. Grwl
      Grwl
  • Posts

    • Lydia_R
      I've been inspired to count clean and sober days.  I got a 24 hour coin and triangle necklace.  I've been listening to Elton John lately.  I started counting days from my 30 year Navy anniversary.  I like the idea of celebrating 50 years since joining the Navy and 20 years fully clean and sober on the same day.  It's good to have goals, right?   Whether I'm truly an addict is an issue I struggle with.  My lifelong best friend definitely is an addict.  I come from a long line of alcoholic gamblers on my father's side.  Thankfully, my father started recovery through AA before I was born and then gave me a good education in it while I was doing drugs in high school.  That definitely slowed down my alcohol and drug use.   My friend has struggled with AA for decades and he is still in active addiction.  I think it is critical to have a good home environment to get clean and sober.  I don't think the people he is living with are using much, but it certainly is not a functional household.  I've been very protective of my home environment.  I guess I'm writing you about all this because I might feel like a bit of an AA imposter being around him.  I do credit AA with the successes I've had over addiction and I'm starting to show a little pride in that.   OK, I've got a real question in this post...  Do you think there is value in hiding my AA pride from my friend?  I certainly don't want to cram it down his throat.  But after actively coming out as transgender, I have a clearer picture of what it is like to hide.  Hide/pride.  There is both a positive and negative side to pride.   When I got my 24 hour coin, I looked at it and said "spiritual progress, not spiritual perfection."  I love the To Thine Own Self Be True and the serenity prayer on them.  It really is a good token.   On a side note, my father stayed clean and sober for the rest of his life, but he continued his gambling addiction.  It was a real turn off for me, so I've stayed away from gambling.  In a few years here, I'll be in the position of having money to invest and I'm realizing that the gambling aspect of investing is a total turn off for me.  I think I'd rather work another year or two to cover the interest I might have gained by investing.   -Lydia
    • VickySGV
      Baseline audits are a normal thing for charities and the ones I was involved with as an auditor usually came up with nothing worse than that a former signatory for bank checks had not been removed from the account after the signatory had died in office or that bank receipts were not being turned into bookkeeper although the funds were showing on the bank statement, thus the statement showing too much money (the minutes of the organization were also quiet on the transactions because of that too.)  Nothing evil or felonious just carelessness corrected by a thorough review and admonishment.       A case where some POTENTIAL for harm exists, and a demand for ZERO potential for it by depriving ALL beneficiaries.  😵 😵  Even on these forums we know that some forms of binding carry the possibility of harm and we have done our best to recommend against those actions.  This is a matter between the Trans Man and their supportive medical team and NOT some busybody in the neighborhood who read The Daily Mail's scare piece on it. 
    • Heather Shay
      @Davie actually it is early. My sleep pattern is way off and I get up around 4 A.M.  
    • Willow
      Hi y’all   Some time back my wife and I were in a fabric store together.  She is making a baby quilt for a friend of ours and was looking for backing fabric.  Any way I asked if she would help me pick a fabric and pattern and teach me to sew.  I thought it fell of death ears.  Then last night she shows me a pattern, what do you think of these?  Then we talked about the cost of making versing buying ready made.  The only savings would be a nicer fabric and multiple pairs off the same pattern.  Today she found where she could get the pattern.  Sounds like she is really making an effort for me.   😀willow
    • Charlize
      Perhaps walking into the edge of the door will never be as painless as before but the sensitivity has its pleasant aspects as well.   Hugs,   Charlize
    • Katie23
      The problem for some healthcare providers is that there have not been many studies clearly demonstrating superiority, however, it can be very useful. I have been on progesterone in addition to injections starting 1 month after I started estrogen. The key is the micronized progesterone. I had put out a few references regarding progesterone. The reality is that cisgender women have both during their developmental years and through middle adulthood. It makes sense to just mimic nature.  I will try to dig up those research articles. I found the same elevation in estrogen levels and reduced testosterone with progesterone. Progesterone suppresses gonadal androgen production.
    • Davie
      @Heather ShayWhat are you doing up so late, dear? Me too. Great trio of tunes you selected to post, Most people know Simone as a great singer, but listen to that piano—whew! And those three must be proofs of God's existance—it's about 30 billion light years to the next trio that good.  Hugs, Davie
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • tracy_j
      I don't know about Mermaids but, having in the past been closely involved with a somewhat smaller charity run by volunteers, I can attest that there is often very little knowledge of the law, even with respect to charities. It's only the big charity concerns who will likely have good legal support on their boards. In the most part they have no intention of breaking the rules but, as we know, ignorance is no excuse.   Tracy
    • Trans22
      I don't wear male clothing anymore, because I packed it all the good stuff ready to be given to others and thrown away all the stuff that looks second hand.  I wear dresses more often than not, mostly because they equate to less weight and space in my backpack - practicality, I ride a bicycle to and from work.  Length of time since last wearing an outfit plays a pretty big part in my choice of outfits to wear. PS.  For a special night out, I always wear one of my prettiest dresses.  Dressing down would spoil the night.
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-63837761   I have no idea if these issues are legit, but I won't be shocked if they are.  Many charities run afoul of laws and regulations, and that would include those that assist and support trans people.  We'll see what happens.   Carolyn Marie
    • Trans22
      I think we all want to belong and this is why labels exist, so I've labeled myself as Transfeminine here.  I suspect the vast majority of people have a mind that has both masculine and feminine characteristics.  For some, like myself the picture significantly favors feminine.   I completed a questionnaire that lead to a gender coordinates map about a month after finding out that I was born with a female.  From memory my score was 8/20 for masculine, 17/20 for feminine.  I trust the result because the questions were so obscure that I couldn't imagine gaming it.  I wonder what my score would be now that I've started HRT.
    • Trans22
      Pretty scary, I seem to inflict an ouch moment on my breasts/nipples several times a day - never intentionally.  I was hoping it might only last a few months.  Oh well, focus on the rewards at the end of my journey - taken same approach with the roller-coaster ride of electrolysis.
    • Trans22
      I often cried myself to sleep then dreamed about being a woman.  I've cried myself to sleep then dreamed about my life ending far more often.   I cannot remember the last time either situation has happened, thankfully.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...