I Did It!

[Amber76]

I did it. I told my wife everything. And she couldn't have been more supportive. She asked if I wanted to go get dressed, which I was not ready to go, and asked questions that showed she would accept whatever extent I may transition. Her exact words were "we'll figure it out" but she asked my thoughts on surgery and seems more supportive of HRT than I had expected

 

I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings. I slayed the dragon but now have to deal with the meat - whatever comes next is going to involve more bravery, more work. 

 

But I did it! I'm large part thanks to the people on this site, in my corner. Thank you all

 

[Susan R]

Just now, Amber76 said:

I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings.

Congratulations @Amber76. What a HUGE milestone! I am so happy for you. First, YOU DID IT! Secondly, your wife has accepted you for you! This is one of the most difficult conversations anyone can have and you made it out alive and better than EVER! What a wonderful start to a new year. I think life just got a little more exciting for you. Keep us updated, if you will.

 

All My Best,

Susan R

[Artpetal]

That's wonderful, Amber. She loves you so much.

[Sol]

Awesome!

I did this today with my mom too! She was supportive even if she didn't understand, and she cut my hair and read up on trans things and even got me some tips for binding alternatives (she brought up some valid health concerns regarding binders and what she suggested and found worked pretty good so far). We're going to get me new glasses tomorrow! I got "grandma glasses" and they make my face look super feminine, and I didn't like it so we're going to go find a more angular pair. 

And I got a piece of advice; Take your time and pace yourself. 

I kept pushing and pushing because I want a change now, but that will only end up hurting me in the long run, so the important part is to take your time and make informed decisions. Granted, I could have gone about trying to have a conversation in a better way (I started an argument because I'm on my period and I let myself spiral and get upset beforehand and didn't know how to broach the topic), but I'm glad we made something constructive out of it. 

And yeah, it's a lot of emotions and they're overwhelming but that's good! You're moving forward and I think you'll both do great!

Remember, I'm proud of you, so be proud of yourself!

You've got this! 

Quote

~Sol 

 

[KathyLauren]

9 hours ago, Amber76 said:

I did it. I told my wife everything. And she couldn't have been more supportive. She asked if I wanted to go get dressed, which I was not ready to go, and asked questions that showed she would accept whatever extent I may transition. Her exact words were "we'll figure it out" but she asked my thoughts on surgery and seems more supportive of HRT than I had expected

 

I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings. I slayed the dragon but now have to deal with the meat - whatever comes next is going to involve more bravery, more work. 

 

But I did it! I'm large part thanks to the people on this site, in my corner. Thank you all

 

 

@Amber76, I am so happy for you!!  This is by far the hardest step, and now you have your best friend and ally with you on the journey.  Be proud of yourself that you did it; it is no small accomplishment.

 

I still remember the rush of euphoria when I heard my wife say, "Whatever you decide to do, I will support you."  That is when you know that you picked the right wife.

 

Enjoy the ride from her on.

[Jackie C.]

Fantastic news @Amber76! I'm so happy for you! May your spouse continue to support you in all things as the two of you figure stuff out!

 

Congratulations to you as well @Sol! I hope your journey is every bit as fulfilling as mine has been.

 

Hugs!

[Charlize]

Congratulations on a great step.  What wonderful acceptance to have received.  You will be transitioning together which certainly can smooth out asometimes bumpy ride.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Amber76]

Thank you all for the love. I'm really not sure what to feel ... To be honest I'm more scared now than I was before. Excited, yes, but I don't even know where or how to begin. And now different voices in my head are screaming all new things.

 

I didn't dress yesterday, or show her that me; and I'm not really ready to do that yet, as much as I may want to. I think I need to process a little. Or a lot.

 

A friend was supporting me, who didn't know what I was going through just cared. Was proud of me for slaying my personal dragon. I am too. I just don't know what I'm going to do with all this dragon meat now

 

@Sol that's awesome I'm proud of you! It helps knowing we're in similar stages of our journeys. Congratulations!

 

@Jackie C.@Charlize @Artpetal@Susan R @KathyLauren it's words of encouragement like these and so many others that have helped me get further than I ever really thought possible

 

@Vidanjali special shout-out to you and the recommendation to check out Irene Lyon. I've been to many therapists over the years but nothing has helped me control my anxiety or manage my feelings better

[Mmindy]

11 hours ago, Amber76 said:

I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings. I slayed the dragon but now have to deal with the meat - whatever comes next is going to involve more bravery, more work.

That's great news Amber. Congratulations, you'll figure it out, and have a supportive teammate to help you be who you really are.

 

Hug,

 

Mindy

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Amber,

I am so happy for you.  It's amazing how much courage we can get from the support found here, isn't it.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf

[Vidanjali]

Bless you, @Amber76 . Don't be dismayed that you feel more scared now than ever. It could be just that you're allowing yourself to feel more than ever, and not that there's more to be feared. 

 

I'm looking forward to your upcoming classic cookbook, "101 delectable dragon meat recipes"

 

I cannot take credit for the Irene Lyon recommendation - must have been someone else. But now that you mention her, I'll check her out too. Mo tools for processing trauma, mo better. 

 

Much love. 

[stveee]

woops almost missed your update Amber, so glad you are moving forward! Can totally relate with the various feelings all at once and happy your partner is supporting you, that is going to make a huge difference. 

Keep Going! 

but always, at your own pace

[Sally Stone]

Sorry for the late response Amber, but I want to add my congratulations.  It is wonderful that your wife is understanding and supportive.  She still probably has a long way to go, however, so I'd recommend you continue to be patient with her.  It certainly does sound like a great beginning.  Hugs to you both.

[Becoming Diana]

Congratulations Amber!  I know how important it is to have an understanding wife.  You have some exciting times ahead!

[Amber76]

Thank you all. It really means the world to me have all of your support. It makes next steps, whatever and whenever, that much less scary

[Delcina B]

Wonderful news @Amber76! Congratulations! Congratulations to you too @Sol! Telling someone we love in person seems to make it all the more real, at least for me. The first person I spoke the words, "I'm pretty sure I'm transgender," & later, "There's no doubt," to was my wife.

 

Hugs!

Delcina

[Beverley]

On 12/29/2021 at 3:07 AM, Amber76 said:

I did it. I told my wife everything. And she couldn't have been more supportive. She asked if I wanted to go get dressed, which I was not ready to go, and asked questions that showed she would accept whatever extent I may transition. Her exact words were "we'll figure it out" but she asked my thoughts on surgery and seems more supportive of HRT than I had expected

 

I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings. I slayed the dragon but now have to deal with the meat - whatever comes next is going to involve more bravery, more work. 

 

But I did it! I'm large part thanks to the people on this site, in my corner. Thank you all

 

That is so great Amber.I wish you all the very best on your journey.Take care.

[Amber76]

Thank you all! I do appreciate the support

 

Tbh it's been so anticlimactic. I feel like "so what" now.

 

[Katie M]

Just reading this, as it's my first day on the forum...I'm very happy for you and your wife!

Hugs!

Katie