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I Did It!


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I did it. I told my wife everything. And she couldn't have been more supportive. She asked if I wanted to go get dressed, which I was not ready to go, and asked questions that showed she would accept whatever extent I may transition. Her exact words were "we'll figure it out" but she asked my thoughts on surgery and seems more supportive of HRT than I had expected


I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings. I slayed the dragon but now have to deal with the meat - whatever comes next is going to involve more bravery, more work. 


But I did it! I'm large part thanks to the people on this site, in my corner. Thank you all


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Just now, Amber76 said:

I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings.

Congratulations @Amber76. What a HUGE milestone! I am so happy for you. First, YOU DID IT! Secondly, your wife has accepted you for you! This is one of the most difficult conversations anyone can have and you made it out alive and better than EVER! What a wonderful start to a new year. I think life just got a little more exciting for you. Keep us updated, if you will.😁


All My Best,

Susan R🌷

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I did this today with my mom too! She was supportive even if she didn't understand, and she cut my hair and read up on trans things and even got me some tips for binding alternatives (she brought up some valid health concerns regarding binders and what she suggested and found worked pretty good so far). We're going to get me new glasses tomorrow! I got "grandma glasses" and they make my face look super feminine, and I didn't like it so we're going to go find a more angular pair. 

And I got a piece of advice; Take your time and pace yourself. 

I kept pushing and pushing because I want a change now, but that will only end up hurting me in the long run, so the important part is to take your time and make informed decisions. Granted, I could have gone about trying to have a conversation in a better way (I started an argument because I'm on my period and I let myself spiral and get upset beforehand and didn't know how to broach the topic), but I'm glad we made something constructive out of it. 

And yeah, it's a lot of emotions and they're overwhelming but that's good! You're moving forward and I think you'll both do great!

Remember, I'm proud of you, so be proud of yourself!

You've got this! 


~Sol 💖


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9 hours ago, Amber76 said:

I did it. I told my wife everything. And she couldn't have been more supportive. She asked if I wanted to go get dressed, which I was not ready to go, and asked questions that showed she would accept whatever extent I may transition. Her exact words were "we'll figure it out" but she asked my thoughts on surgery and seems more supportive of HRT than I had expected


I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings. I slayed the dragon but now have to deal with the meat - whatever comes next is going to involve more bravery, more work. 


But I did it! I'm large part thanks to the people on this site, in my corner. Thank you all



@Amber76, I am so happy for you!!  This is by far the hardest step, and now you have your best friend and ally with you on the journey.  Be proud of yourself that you did it; it is no small accomplishment.


I still remember the rush of euphoria when I heard my wife say, "Whatever you decide to do, I will support you."  That is when you know that you picked the right wife.


Enjoy the ride from her on.

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Fantastic news @Amber76! I'm so happy for you! May your spouse continue to support you in all things as the two of you figure stuff out!


Congratulations to you as well @Sol! I hope your journey is every bit as fulfilling as mine has been.



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Congratulations on a great step.  What wonderful acceptance to have received.  You will be transitioning together which certainly can smooth out asometimes bumpy ride.





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Thank you all for the love. I'm really not sure what to feel ... To be honest I'm more scared now than I was before. Excited, yes, but I don't even know where or how to begin. And now different voices in my head are screaming all new things.


I didn't dress yesterday, or show her that me; and I'm not really ready to do that yet, as much as I may want to. I think I need to process a little. Or a lot.


A friend was supporting me, who didn't know what I was going through just cared. Was proud of me for slaying my personal dragon. I am too. I just don't know what I'm going to do with all this dragon meat now 🙄🤪🤢🥰😫💃😊🤓🤯


@Sol that's awesome I'm proud of you! It helps knowing we're in similar stages of our journeys. Congratulations! 🤗🤗🤗


@Jackie C.@Charlize @Artpetal@Susan R @KathyLauren it's words of encouragement like these and so many others that have helped me get further than I ever really thought possible


@Vidanjali special shout-out to you and the recommendation to check out Irene Lyon. I've been to many therapists over the years but nothing has helped me control my anxiety or manage my feelings better

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11 hours ago, Amber76 said:

I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings. I slayed the dragon but now have to deal with the meat - whatever comes next is going to involve more bravery, more work.

That's great news Amber. Congratulations, you'll figure it out, and have a supportive teammate to help you be who you really are.





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Hi Amber,

I am so happy for you.  It's amazing how much courage we can get from the support found here, isn't it.


Lots of love,

Timber Wolf🐾

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Bless you, @Amber76 . Don't be dismayed that you feel more scared now than ever. It could be just that you're allowing yourself to feel more than ever, and not that there's more to be feared. 


I'm looking forward to your upcoming classic cookbook, "101 delectable dragon meat recipes" 😂🐲🍖


I cannot take credit for the Irene Lyon recommendation - must have been someone else. But now that you mention her, I'll check her out too. Mo tools for processing trauma, mo better. 


Much love. 

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woops almost missed your update Amber, so glad you are moving forward! Can totally relate with the various feelings all at once and happy your partner is supporting you, that is going to make a huge difference. 

Keep Going! 

but always, at your own pace

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Sorry for the late response Amber, but I want to add my congratulations.  It is wonderful that your wife is understanding and supportive.  She still probably has a long way to go, however, so I'd recommend you continue to be patient with her.  It certainly does sound like a great beginning.  Hugs to you both.

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Congratulations Amber!  I know how important it is to have an understanding wife.  You have some exciting times ahead!

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Thank you all. It really means the world to me have all of your support. It makes next steps, whatever and whenever, that much less scary

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Wonderful news @Amber76! Congratulations! Congratulations to you too @Sol! Telling someone we love in person seems to make it all the more real, at least for me. The first person I spoke the words, "I'm pretty sure I'm transgender," & later, "There's no doubt," to was my wife.




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  • 2 weeks later...
On 12/29/2021 at 3:07 AM, Amber76 said:

I did it. I told my wife everything. And she couldn't have been more supportive. She asked if I wanted to go get dressed, which I was not ready to go, and asked questions that showed she would accept whatever extent I may transition. Her exact words were "we'll figure it out" but she asked my thoughts on surgery and seems more supportive of HRT than I had expected


I'm so very relieved, but also scared and proud and numb and so many other feelings. I slayed the dragon but now have to deal with the meat - whatever comes next is going to involve more bravery, more work. 


But I did it! I'm large part thanks to the people on this site, in my corner. Thank you all


That is so great Amber.I wish you all the very best on your journey.Take care.

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Thank you all! I do appreciate the support


Tbh it's been so anticlimactic. I feel like "so what" now.


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  • 2 weeks later...

Just reading this, as it's my first day on the forum...I'm very happy for you and your wife!



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    • VickySGV
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    • MayBea
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    • Mmindy
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    • heatherd
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    • Vidanjali
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    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Glad that there's been some progress. Hopefully things will continue to improve over time.
    • Vidanjali
      Great to hear that @Russ Fenrisson . Any progress is a relief and helps to strengthen one's faith that things can be even better. 
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    • Russ Fenrisson
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    • Russ Fenrisson
      I've also wondered about the same thing, especially since a lot of media I see, if they include a trans character at all, is usually transfeminine. I think it really boils down to what @Carolyn Mariesaid: how said individuals are perceived in society and the acceptibility of it. It's a shame transwomen and transfeminine people are made to feel bad for who they are or to be afraid of how they identify or choose to present themselves. This might be why you see more stories concerning them. To spread awareness and to show transwomen are not scary and are people just like everybody else.   In regards to transmen and transmasculine people, I've done much reading and thinking, and have come to the conclusion that perhaps such individuals are not explored or discussed is because of a private, safety factor. I've read more and more individuals have been coming out as FtM compared to recent years, such as in the 90s or early 2000's, and they may not be as transparent or as seen as MtF individuals just because of the fact they could face ridicule or repercussion for coming out or exploring their identity. It appears the expression of women is much more flexible nowadays than it was before, but that doesn't mean it is all inclusive. It probably just depends on where you are and the kind of atmosphere that is present.   What I always think is, whether I know it or not, I've at least run into someone like myself without knowing it. It provides a sense of mystery but it's at least a little bit comforting in these strange times.
    • MarkCT
      Hi All   This is my first, and in many was I hope my last, post on this forum but here goes and apologies in advance if it is a bit long winded but I think you’d need to know the full picture if you are going to give me any tips, which I do hope you will.    Back in 1963 my mum’s family (her mum, dad and numerous much younger siblings) emigrated to Sydney as “£10 Pommes”. I was two years old at the time and we were due to join them the following year but for various reasons we didn’t go. My dad had no family apart from his parents, who died many years ago. So, it has always been important to me, my wife and our (now grown up) children to visit the family regularly.     So now we get to the main point. I’ve always been saddened that, whilst everyone of my Aussie family have been so excited to see us when we visit there has always been one exception; a first cousin who was really nice but always seemed very standoffish and distant. You can imagine my surprise when she announced that she had transitioned! I’m not great at social media but my wife contacted her and they converse on and off, not a lot but as much as before she transitioned.    But now with Covid out of the way 🤞we are planning our next trip so (as my cousin is not on the main family WhatsApp group) I wrote to her. I said we (my wife and I) were going to be in Sydney and Brisbane, where most of the family live, but that Ballarat really was going to be just too much of a stretch- especially as she is the only one who lives there. I was amazed and so happy when she immediately wrote back and said she’d make sure she came to see us (if you look at the map and at the cost of flights you’ll realise that is no small commitment).    Now this may seem obvious to you but it is all totally new territory to me and my wife so we are worried about inadvertently saying something that might be hurtful.  so any tips would be most welcome. I have some particular questions:   In chatting do we always use feminine pronouns or do we use masculine when talking about the time before transition (ie our previous visits etc)?   Do we talk about his/her(? )wife, who has now gone her own way, although I suspect they are still friends?    Do we steer well clear of discussing anything at all personal I’m thinking of both emotional and practical issues)? Or perhaps my wife could whereas I shouldn’t?   What do we do about our normal big family gatherings? We’d love her to be there but don’t obviously want to put any undue pressure. We do see on Facebook that some of the family are very kind and accepting but in the cases of a good many others we just don’t know.  Thats just a few of the questions we have but any other comments or tips would be most welcome before we get on the plane from Heathrow at the end of the month.    Thanks 😊    Mark    
    • MiraF
      I think if anyone will take over the US as führer, it will be DeSantis. Trump is already being removed from his position as head of the republicans, with people like fox news and Breitbart saying DeSantis is the future of the party. Considering Trump's incompetence and Ron's actions so far, he may actually be worse.   Apart from that, I agree with you 100%.
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