Howdy, my name is Rick and I am confused.....+

[RickPressman]

I am a senior citizen and I still don't know where I belong in the sexual rainbow.  All my life I have experienced different things that cloud my understanding of just who or what I am.  I have enjoyed cross dressing and have had a desire to be a woman all my life.  I have suppressed this desire, tried to become a man after my father's image (a verbally abusive alcoholic with asthma).  I have a family now which makes life easier.  A wife that alternates between worried to death about my health and nagging me to death.  I have had two sons, both dead, and two daughters which have given me four grandchildren, two boys and two girls.  I have all of these wonderful things but this nagging idea that I am a woman in a man's body and that I should become this woman still is there.  I came here to this forum to hear what others have to say.  BTW, I am not emotionally fragile.  Suicide is something I am afraid of and the thought of it sends shivers up my spine.  I am a Christian and believe that it is a sin to take your own life. I will die when the Lord takes me and I will endure in this world until he comes for me.

Thanks for your comments in advance.

Rick

[Charlize]

Welcome Rick.  Like you i cross dressed throughout my lifetime and as i got older i started to deal with feelings of wanting to transition.  I finally went full time at 63 and have been having a great time simply accepting myself as i am.

Being here with others who understood as well as seeing a gender therap[ist helped me find peace with myself.

Relax, put your feet up and enjoy this wonderful journey.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Heather Shay]

Welcome Rick. I'm 69 and similar in many ways. I am transitioning and it is difficult on my wife but I feel so much better no longer hiding. Welcome you are among friends.

[Susan R]

Welcome @RickPressman. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I experienced a similar background and it took decades to finally look into a real solution. It’s sounds like you’re at the same juncture. I hope will use this site as a source for advice, information and in time find a few friends. Their are so many great people here that can help. It’s good to hear that you would never consider ending it all for something you can get help because today there are so many more resources available to us. If you have any specific questions or need advice, feel free to ask when your comfortable doing so.

 

It’s nice to have you onboard,

Susan R🌷

[Delcina B]

Welcome Rick! Glad you're here. A book was recommended to me by someone here, written by Dara Hoffman Fox, titled You & Your Gender Identity Workbook I found it very helpful, you might also. They read it on YouTube as well.

 

Hugs!

Delcina

[RickPressman]

Heather,

If your photo is actually currently you, I want to know your beauty secrets.  I do not look any less than twice your age.  Now, down to reality.  I have an issue that I didn't explain before.  I live with my daughter and her children and my wife .  I am retired and basically sit around the house all the time looking for things that I started to do but got distracted and forgot to finish.  I don't know if it is just common dementia or the dreaded Alzheimer's disease.  Either way I am in the sunset of my life.  I have see firsthand what either diagnosis does to you.  I am not afraid of dying but the long slow decline into death is scary.  I am not very far along but sooner or later it will catch up with me. 

 

I am mostly afraid of starting down my path of self discovery and my daughter becomes afraid of allowing me to stay around the grand children.  I do not want to go into a senior citizen's home and I do not have finances to live alone.  My wife would probably support my daughter.  I think I would rather die than end up in a senior citizens center.  The idea of that happening much more terrifying than dying.

 

I have to find out if I really am trans or just senile before I head down that path.

 

 

[Ivy]

Welcome Rick

I was in my late 60's when my marriage broke up.  (We are still friends)

But for the last couple of years I was beginning to exhibit signs of dementia myself.  My mother had Alzheimer's before she passed.  

At that time I began to look into my own gender issues (among other things)  When I accepted my "girl inside" I found that most of my "dementia" cleared up.

Of course now folks just think I'm crazy for being trans.