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How To Answer: "What's In Your Pants?"

Heather Nicole

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I'm only at the start of transition and haven't faced this question, but I've been collecting answers in case I need them.


How to answer "What's in your pants?":


  • "Legs"
  • "This is a (skirt/dress), my pants are at home"
  • "My hands" (Note: Only works if you have pockets and your hands happen to be in them)
  • "Rainbows!"
  • "The fall of civilization"
  • (pause with a confused/concerned look before replying) "...uhmm...I am..." (wave and continue to look worried for their mental state)
  • "A 38 page dissertation on the impact of existentialism on the economics of ancient Rome" (or anything similar) "Wanna read it?"
  • "Cotton fibers"
  • "Capital One!" (Warning: May not work outside the US, or with people who never watched broadcast TV. May imply to the listener you don't know the difference between "wallet" and "pants". Use with caution.)


And perhaps my personal favorite:

  • "Justice!"


(Not my comic, found it on the internet:)


(Note, I edited the original image to remove a derogatory remark I consider extremely inappropriate.)



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For anyone who doesn't get the "Capital One" reference:



It was a whole series, all with the same slogan.


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  • Admin

Good answers, Heather.  I enjoyed those.  When someone asked me a similar question, I wasn't nearly so clever.  I just told them, "none of your damn business."


Carolyn Marie

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19 minutes ago, Carolyn Marie said:

Good answers, Heather.  I enjoyed those.  When someone asked me a similar question, I wasn't nearly so clever.  I just told them, "none of your damn business."


Carolyn Marie


That's a very good one, too! 😀

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  • Forum Moderator

"Show me yours then i'll show mine."


"Just little ole Me"


"Is that a proposal?"





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When I am asked what's in your pants I just look at them and say, you really should buy me dinner first

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  • Forum Moderator
4 minutes ago, Heather42 said:

When I am asked what's in your pants I just look at them and say, you really should buy me dinner first

😂 Giggles…love it! 

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  • Forum Moderator
4 hours ago, Heather42 said:

When I am asked what's in your pants I just look at them and say, you really should buy me dinner first


What's in my pants? Vengance!



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I look forward to the day when I can honestly say that I have holes in my pants.

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Usually my insulin pump, the belt clip broke off.

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  • 3 months later...

I've got it!

In my pants is my phone, twenty dollars and a crumpled straw wrapper. If you have stuff in your pockets, just say exactly what's in there. 

You can totally omit money, though.

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  • 1 month later...

Good responses here!


I hope to never have such an encounter, but if it did happen to me, I'd probably reply with squirrels. Hopefully the other party would have seen Phineas and Ferb to get it.

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3 hours ago, Russ Fenrisson said:

Good responses here!


I hope to never have such an encounter, but if it did happen to me, I'd probably reply with squirrels. Hopefully the other party would have seen Phineas and Ferb to get it.

I was scrolling through here, hoping the joke wasn’t taken so I could say it first. Oh well… 

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“Take me out to dinner, and you might find out.”

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"Pants?  Dear God.  I forgot to take those off." 


or, for the belligerent types...


"My pistol.  Because my husband told me it wasn't civilized to bite people anymore."  🤣

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"It sure as hell ain't you!"

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  • 5 weeks later...

I always thought of saying "Ask your mom/dad 🙂" or saying "I am not ready for such a commitment"

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