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Disproportional


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Ever feel like your body is at odds with how you feel or how you think you should look?

I like a lot of things about my body, and I've learned to find masculine and feminine features within my face and general body (masculine eyebrows and nose, cupid's bow lips, broad shoulders, a cute tummy, etc), but things still bother me, and they're all sex characteristics.

I don't really have bottom dysphoria, I'm fine with having it, but I want some bottom growth, honestly. That's a long ways off, but I still want it and I just like it. It's hard to explain, but it might have something to do with the fact I go out of my way to read about trans masc characters in fanfiction (Found out what gender envy is, so that's fun). But the biggest problem is my chest. I have C-cups and when I say they look disproportional, I mean it. They look too big on my body and I want them two cup sizes smaller because I would like little boobs on myself, please. I'd donate those two cup sizes to other people who want boobs if I could, I would quite literally just take them off, say "Here you go," and go about my life. I want to be able to walk around shirtless and not have to wear bras as often without worrying about these stupid organic milk bags that stretch and even pull on the skin around them a little. It's uncomfy and sometimes wearing bras hurts and makes my acid reflux worse because the things are too big to get away with not wearing them. 

As you can tell, I'm very frustrated. 

And it's at odds with how I want to look, because I want to look more neutral or like a combination of masculine and feminine elements because I love the dichotomy and there's a big blank in my brain where gender was supposed to go anyway. And breast reductions aren't something I can look at right now, especially financially because just the surgery (this is barring anesthesia, operating room costs, and other expenses) is $6,000. So this is something that I'm not going to be doing soon anyway. My impatience is largely just a result of my need to do everything "now, now, now," so I need to work on that. But I really just want the chest to be smaller. 

Anyway, floor pancake time.

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  • 2 months later...

I really relate to you, here. I hate my chest. Always have. I desperately want top surgery, but just realized today, after looking at the surgeon's list of insurance requirements, there is no way I can jump through all those hoops right now. And I certainly can't afford out-of-pocket, right now.

Anyway, I'm a DD, if you can imagine, and skinny, so I look top-heavy and disproportionate, as well.

I gave up bras. I'm not trying to emphasize my chest, for sure. I got a binder, but it is ridiculously uncomfortable, and aggravates my asthma, so that's out. I've only worn it twice for about half an hour, and I'll be donating it when I feel like I'm ready.

So, the best thing I've found, that works for me, anyway, is one of those shapewear garments, tank top. You can get them at a lot of department stores.

I put one of those on, and I put a plain cotton sports bra over it, backwards. It works better backwards, because it flattens the chest, instead of emphasizing it, and plain cotton is best, so you don't look like you've got boobs on your back!

This set up actually makes me look flatter than the binder, is much more comfortable, and I can breathe! And because the bra is over the shapewear top, the underbust doesn't dig in!

This is the best thing I have found to work for me, personally. 

I know this post is older, but I hope by replying, I can be of some help.🙂

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Thank you, @Cary

Been doing more soul searching for the gender, figured out I'm FtM, and the top dysphoria is worse sometimes! 🙃

Wearing the sports bras has gotten better, but I have to wear shirts at least a size too big to hide the curve. But I definitely wanna try the shape wear tanks! I need more tank tops anyways, so I'll be hunting for those on my next shopping trip.

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@SolYeah, I usually find them in the women's undergarment section. They're kind of like Spanx or Skims, but I just get the generic ones. Sometimes the underarm can be a little tight, but I just cut a small slit straight down, about an inch, and it works miracles for me.

I hear you on the baggy shirts. Most of mine are oversized, although I have found, with my self-created "binder", I can actually pull off some smaller shirts and they don't look too bad. Which I think is odd considering these ginormous things that surely don't belong on my body, but if it works it works, I guess!

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