Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

How's it going fellas


Recommended Posts

I can relate to that, I got started learning something as a kid but gave it up for a variety of reasons. Kinda interested in trying something again these days but it's hard to know where to start!

Link to comment
  • Replies 281
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Vidanjali

    44

  • Roach

    43

  • Russ Fenrisson

    39

  • awkward-yet-sweet

    37

I say pick any instrument you can and just start jamming. You'll know where to go from there!

 

Do you have anything in mind? Also learning by covering songs is so much better than straight up learning from books or tutorials. Chords are an essential as well, on practically any instrument. I never really picked up on the piano, but since I know most of the chords, it helped me cover any song I loved and by extension, I had a lot of fun :) 

Link to comment
35 minutes ago, neo3000 said:

Also learning by covering songs is so much better than straight up learning from books or tutorials.

Honestly this sounds like more fun! I'd love to learn guitar, I can steal my brother's acoustic one to practice with. Maybe I'll just learn some chords to start out with. Thank you! 👍

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Recently went on a hike, all the snow is melting so the rivers are way more wild than usual. As usual, nature is cooler than I remember. Gonna be moving soon so that's lots of fun (not really)…

 

Unnecessary question of the week: What is one song you enjoy, that you think other people DON'T like?

I'll go first: Dullscythe by Porter Robinson, not extremely coherent, but I can't stop listening to it.

 

What's everyone been up to! (Also, if there are any new visitors to this thread, don't be intimidated to jump in lol.)

 

Link to comment
48 minutes ago, Roach said:

Unnecessary question of the week: What is one song you enjoy, that you think other people DON'T like?

 

"Indian Love Call"! 

 

I was so happy when it was used as a joke / plot point in the movie Mars Attacks! I think in that movie it might have been the Slim Whitman version.

 

I'm glad to see a post in this thread because I've been having a hard time getting back into being self-actualized instead of a cranky object the universe acts upon. I have gotten cynical and don't like making decisions. I figure why decide what I want if I might be wrong? But I'm trying again. I tried to think of something to contribute to this chat thread. Mostly my happy place lately has been learning Southern Vietnamese, and watching videos (mostly by Gutsick Gibbon and by Your Dinosaurs are Wrong on YouTube) about evolutionary science. I am out of touch with the world news.

Link to comment
On 4/29/2022 at 6:15 AM, Roach said:

Recently went on a hike

That's so cool. I never went hiking, nature is beautiful, but i'm too much of a city boy - 

 

On 4/29/2022 at 7:10 AM, DonkeySocks said:

Mostly my happy place lately has been learning Southern Vietnamese, and watching videos (mostly by Gutsick Gibbon and by Your Dinosaurs are Wrong on YouTube) about evolutionary science. I am out of touch with the world news.

Yooo that sounds really interesting. I'll check it out when I run out of things to watch! 

Sometimes it's best to stay out of touch with the world news if one can. It'll come to you at some point anyways. 

 

On 4/29/2022 at 6:15 AM, Roach said:

Unnecessary question of the week: What is one song you enjoy, that you think other people DON'T like?

That's a tough one. I think I'd go with the U.N Owen was her? Ronald McDonald remix. The original song SLAPS, but I used to unironically listen to the remix.... when he goes dan-dan-dan-da-da-dan-dan... sooo true....

 

I haven't been logging in that much as I am slowly getting my -crap- together. It's hard but It looks like I'm getting there. This requires a great amount of time off the internet, but I must admit, I did miss this thread. I'm also seeing my favorite singer of all time very soon ^_^ Anyone here likes Mitski?

 

Link to comment
On 4/29/2022 at 1:10 AM, DonkeySocks said:

I've been having a hard time getting back into being self-actualized instead of a cranky object the universe acts upon. I have gotten cynical and don't like making decisions. I figure why decide what I want if I might be wrong?

I know what you mean.   I get like this a lot.

Link to comment

@Jandi I'm sorry this happens to you, but from my situation right now there's a lot to be said for solidarity through someone understanding how it feels, so I do appreciate it. :)

Link to comment
17 hours ago, neo3000 said:

Sometimes it's best to stay out of touch with the world news if one can. It'll come to you at some point anyways. 

Yes, it does come around, and then I feel weird because a huge thing was happening I knew nothing about--but there was nothing I could do to help, and following the news at the time would have been bad for my mental health. I always get caught up late, when most of the dust has settled.

Link to comment
On 4/29/2022 at 1:10 AM, DonkeySocks said:

 

"Indian Love Call"! 

Kinda goes hard, ngl.

 

Also DANG! Learning a new language is dope. What interests you in Southern Vietnamese, you got family there or something? Either way impressive stuff, keep it up.

 

On 4/30/2022 at 7:06 PM, neo3000 said:

I'm gonna be real, I was not emotionally prepared for this.

 

We always appreciate you popping into the thread Neo but no stress if you're getting stuff together IRL. Hope ya have fun at that performance! It's gonna be awesome!

Link to comment
11 hours ago, Roach said:

I'm gonna be real, I was not emotionally prepared for this.

I CANNOT stop listening to this now 🤪

Link to comment
22 hours ago, Roach said:

Learning a new language is dope. What interests you in Southern Vietnamese, you got family there or something? Either way impressive stuff, keep it up.

I don't even know why I'm learning it. I mean, I know the events that led to my studying it, starting with hearing a pop song and feeling strongly for some reason that "I could speak that", it had a sort of flow to the language that made it sound like something I could understand.

 

As to why, I don't know yet. I feel like it's one of those things you do, not knowing why, and then you find out, only learning a language takes a long time, so it'll take an extra long time to clarify.

 

Also, it's so much fun. I like watching my favorite video teachers on YouTube and learning things whenever and however I like, going back and forth, too advanced for me, backing up, etc. I love it because it's not like classroom learning at all. I got some French in middle and high school, which is super useful for studying English lit, but I never got into it the way some of the other students did. I was kind of meh about it. I am super into Vietnamese language, learning about the people, the Southern culture and accent, the history of the language, and there's zero pressure to do it for grades like in school. Plus it makes me feel smart when I find out I suddenly remembered something I didn't understand before.

 

Are you learning a second or third language, Roach? If so, which one? Or which one would you like to try to learn?

Link to comment

@DonkeySocksDamn. That's some profound stuff! Keep at it!

 

I grew up with German and English so I can speak both relatively fluently. I'm currently trying to learn another language from my family. It's one of those situations where I'll fly out to visit relatives, everyone will be at the dinner table telling stories, and suddenly the entire room bursts into laughter.

 

Meanwhile I'm sitting here like "I have no idea what you just said but I'm going to laugh anyway." One of my parents teaches me a few phrases here and there, but I've never done anything as in-depth as you have. Kinda inspired now LMAO.

 

You can really learn ANYTHING from YouTube these days! Very good resources out there. I like your anecdote about how different it feels from learning something in a school setting.

 

Out of curiosity, do you remember which pop song it was that you heard?

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Roach said:

Out of curiosity, do you remember which pop song it was that you heard?

It was this one: 

 

 

2 hours ago, Roach said:

Kinda inspired now LMAO.

Run with it! You can learn online and get help from your family when needed. :)

Link to comment

@RoachI guess it didn't take and show the link? Anyway the song was "Bong bong bang bang" from a movie soundtrack a few years ago.

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Hey friends. Hope you're all doing well today. So, the other day, top dysphoria hit me harrrrrrd. Remarkably, for the first time I am now seriously contemplating investigating top surgery. I thought this thread would be a good place to talk about it. Two main reasons for not considering surgery thus far: (1) I didn't want to put my body through the trauma, and (2) I thought it would be a MAJOR issue regarding my relationship with my husband.

 

Last week, I was in NY for a family bridal shower. Whereas guests of bridal showers are traditionally women only, in my mind it was for people with uteruses (or previously in possession of uteruses, for anyone who's had a hysterectomy). Fun times with uteruses, lol. Oh brother. Anyways, the party was actually super fun, although I tend to get hypomanic at parties - severely overcompensating for my introversion - and inevitably crashing later on, which I did two days later. The crash followed traveling by myself (which is increasingly difficult due to my disability), going to see my family, hypomania at the party, the "after party" which consisted of a selection of family members digging up old stories of trauma & airing out a lot of nastiness. Ultimately, that's for the best, there is a major legacy of trauma, abuse, mental illness & addiction in my family. It's a lot to process. The day after the party, I was feeling subdued, and the next day I was deflated by depression and scared to leave my room due to anxiety. My cousin with whom I was staying peeled me out of bed, gave me a cold cloth for my face, fed me leftover chicken wings, and took me to the dog beach with 2 out of 3 of her pups. That made me feel better. Btw, I came out to her rather matter of factly. I had already come out to her younger sister bc she came out to me as a lesbian & I wanted her to know she's not the only queer person in our very conservative family. My cousin was cool about it, although she called me "lady" a few times afterwards. I finally asked her to please not refer to me that way. 

 

SO! The top dysphoria. Couple days after the bridal shower, I was looking at the photos on facebook. There was one with me and all my cousins all lined up. I was standing in profile and it looked like there was a friggin watermelon attached to my chest. SUPER. YUCK. It really freaked me out & brought me down. (It also inspired an idea for some self-portraits emphasizing more affirming profiles and addressing the pain of digging into past trauma.) My little cousin and her girlfriend came back to Florida with me. I showed them the photo that grossed me out and was talking with them about it. My cousin told me a cis friend of hers had a breast reduction and was very happy about it. My cousin's gf told me one of her brothers is trans (!!!!) and had his top surgery in a city near me, coincidentally. My husband was there for these conversations & I asked him if I could get a breast reduction or top surgery. He said sure, as long as we can afford it. I jokingly, but not jokingly declared "my body, my choice!" I meant that to affirm to myself that reason #2 mentioned in the first paragraph of this story was something I needed him to accept and for me to get over. I asked him again later in private and he qualified that he would "miss them", but wants me to be happy. Sigh. Still working on reason #1. I am vasillating between "why would I put my body through that" versus "it's just a body, it will heal, and then I'll be able to go through the rest of my life with my chest out proud". 

 

I am definitely going to look into the details now. Going to talk to my therapist about it, and check with my husband's insurance (which I'll be switching to once I officially leave my job) whether they cover surgery as treatment for dysphoria. Will also read up on the local surgeon my cousin's gf's brother worked with. 

 

Thanks for listening and being there. 

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Vidanjali said:

Thanks for listening and being there. 

 

 

Support and affirmation for each other is a main motivator for why we're here.  Hugs!

 

1 hour ago, Vidanjali said:

I am definitely going to look into the details now. Going to talk to my therapist about it, and check with my husband's insurance (which I'll be switching to once I officially leave my job) whether they cover surgery as treatment for dysphoria. Will also read up on the local surgeon my cousin's gf's brother worked with

 

Good luck with your coverage inquiries.  My impression is that, depending on the insurance company and location, coverage for dysphoria related surgery can vary greatly.  Crossed fingers that you have a positive result!

 

Astrid

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@Vidanjali thank you for sharing your distress and worries. They are honest and, having read many of your posts in the past, filled with your truth and I understand, though in my case it is the direct opposite need. I think that your husband's acceptance is extremely important and I'm happy he reacted as he did. If you decide to go forward, you will need that support. I think having the conversation with your therapist and doing your due diligence in researching the doctor and costs are very important and you have always struck me as a level headed and grounded person, who cares and gives a lot of himself to others. You deserve happiness and only you will be able to decide which direction you need to go in order to have that peace of mind you deserve. Know I am happy you are working your way through your issues and wisely seeking out the answers you need to move forward. Know that whichever way you choose, I'm in your corner. You've been a great help to me in so many ways, I am looking for words to express my gratitude and let you know you've made a big difference to me and I want the best for you.

Link to comment
6 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

(1) I didn't want to put my body through the trauma, and (2) I thought it would be a MAJOR issue regarding my relationship with my husband.

The only time top dysphoria seems to hit me really hard is when I'm looking at photos of trans guys who've had it done, then I get strong feelings of various kinds. I haven't had it done for first reason you mention, and also, I'm not as top dysphoric as I am bottom dysphoric. I also don't know how I would feel about spending the money, even if I wasn't worried about that at all, it might cross my mind I could do something else with the money. I know my husband would approve, but also he likes them, and I don't dislike them enough to want to take that away. I think his response would be somewhat similar to what your husband said, only we would probably both be thinking of the trauma of surgery and whether it would be worth it, because we've had some hospitalization traumas this past year. However, overall, I'm just saying, pretty much same here, except I'm not looking into it, whereas it sounds like you're pretty much going for it! So I wish you the best with your healing and with what will amount to some grief on your husband's part. Best wishes!

Link to comment

Thanks, everyone, for the replies. This is an invaluable community in that any of us can write about such things that maybe no one else in our day to day lives might understand, but here, we're accepted and understood. 

 

Thanks for the hugs, @Astrid . 

 

I am gratified my association is meaningful to you, @Heather Shay . The feeling is most definitely mutual. 

 

@DonkeySocks I'm actually surprised at how hard it hit me. Like you said, I didn't dislike them enough to consider "depriving" my husband of them. I'm asexual, so we don't do any intimate boob stuff, but he likes them for cuddling and such. On the surface one might think that consideration of the spouse's reaction to trans surgery is rather irrelevant or indicative of mild oppression. But, the weight of the value of the relationship is considerable, and therefore it is, to some extent (the extent to which the dysphoria is distressing, that is), a decision that should be jointly considered. I am now motivated to thoroughly investigate and continue to gauge how I feel about it. The only other surgeries I've had have been with an ENT surgeon & also with a periodontist. Top surgery / breast reduction is pretty major compared to that. 

 

I'll let you all know how my investigation develops. Thanks a million for the support. 

Link to comment
6 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

But, the weight of the value of the relationship is considerable, and therefore it is, to some extent (the extent to which the dysphoria is distressing, that is), a decision that should be jointly considered.

I agree. And I think in turn, you should be able to trust your husband to be honest about his feelings, and you can show compassion and understanding to him while also supporting your own needs.

Link to comment

Thanks, @DonkeySocks . I spoke at greater length with my husband last night about it. He said he supports me whatever I decide to do. He noted that he was already aware that I experienced chest dysphoria even though I never directly spoke with him about it - he said he recalls that I've made comments about feeling uncomfortable for many years. I'm very fortunate to have such a partner who is not only supportive, but who also pays attention and validates me. It's not always easy, but love wins in the end. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Amen - to have support and as you so eloquently said 

2 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

to have such a partner who is not only supportive, but who also pays attention and validates me. It's not always easy, but love wins in the end. 

it brings me to tears. 

 

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Hey guys!

 

At the risk of necroing another thread (which I've done already today...LOL), how is everyone doing? :)

Link to comment

I don't think it's really thread necromancy if the thread was intended as an occasional check-in and chat thread. :) Personally I'm doing pretty well, although I had some hidden gender identity anxiety about a visit with my husband's family, and I realized that I was feeling exhausted and anxious about seeing them because we'll be meeting at a restaurant. I've asked most of my side of the family--I still have a brother and one very questionable sister in law to go, but let's pray she's actually more tolerant than she seemed last time this came up--to use the proper male pronouns for me, but I haven't asked my husband's family. And I'm not going to, in a restaurant. Given his brother's penchant for talking loudly about controversial subjects and being somewhat unkind when in a group (he's much nicer privately), I realized my anxiety was stemming from being in public and talking about pronouns. So I feel much better since I decided just not to bring it up with them. Talked to my husband about it and he gets it, he's had to deal with his brother his whole life. I'm standing up for myself and my pronouns around my mother, and that makes me feel good.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 88 Guests (See full list)

    • Piper
    • Jet McCartney
    • April Marie
    • EasyE
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,942
    • Most Online
      8,356

    taxicab
    Newest Member
    taxicab
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Ashley0616
      Good evening to you as well @Mmindy   That is awesome that you have support from her side. My dad has communicated with me once and that was because he was forced to. His new wife wanted to spend time with my kids. He hated me so much he was in the process of taking my rights away as a parent to my two boys. He was talking to a lawyer and I called him out on it. I don't love him at all. I'll respect him because I wouldn't be here without him but I wished I had another father. My uncles don't talk to me and unfriended me on Facebook. Almost all cousins except for two are still Facebook friends but they don't give me any support. My mom said she won't support me with that but she has said that she loves me. I have nieces and nephews that are still Facebook friends but they have yet to talk to me. I have one sister that supports me out of three. The other's disrespect me by deadnaming me. They have never called me their sister. I think for them they think it's still a phase. They don't ask questions about me being trans. I have to bring it up and on the look of their faces they don't look comfortable about it. 
    • Mmindy
      Good evening @Ashley0616,   I just got offline with HP tech support trying to get my printer tool box icon locked to my tool bar. This is one of the most important features of my printer that I like because it keeps track of ink, paper, and scanned documents. I'm diffidently not a computer geek.   I'll catch up with the other bookmarks next week. We leave to go home for the Easter Holiday with our families. Saturday with her side, and Sunday with my side. What's odd about that is I'm out to more of her side and they're reluctantly supportive. My side on the other hand are less supportive, and my sister just under me in age will not acknowledge my being there. She will be constantly moving to keep from dealing with me. I'm dead to her.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋  
    • Ashley0616
      I used to follow baseball and the team I would cheer for is Boston Red Sox. My favorite player was Papi. He was an awesome guy and even held a child during the National Anthem. I haven't watched baseball for a long time. It just died off to me. 
    • Ashley0616
      That stinks that nothing transferred, and no bookmarks were saved! 
    • Ashley0616
      I'm doing patches for now but I think soon I'll go to shots because it's hard to alternate when you are doing two xx patches at once. Unless she gives me Estradiol and progesterone
    • Sally Stone
      Go Cleveland Guardians!  I love baseball and I loved playing it when I was younger.  
    • Sally Stone
      My view is we are "dependent" on government, because as a society, we are too lazy to stay actively involved. So, we let politicians do our bidding for us.  I think we'd be in a better place government wise if we policed the actions of our politicians.  We elected them; they work for us.  Sadly, we are allowing them to run amok.  We are where we are because we have chosen to let politicians make all decisions without us.  Remember "by the people, for the people?" That was the intent of our democracy.  Today, however, it is "by the politicians, for the politicians," the people be damned. 
    • Mmindy
      "Play Ball! Batter Up!" is the closing line of the National Anthem as far as I'm concerned. It's the call of the Home Plate Umpire and signals the start of the game. I grew up in the TV and Radio broadcast of the St. Louis Cardinals. Harry Caray, Jack Buck, Tim McCarver, and Mike Shannon, were the voices on my transistor radio. KMOX 1120 AM pushing 50,000 watts of Class A clear-channel non-directional signal. It could be picked up all across MO, IL, IN to the East. KS, OK, CO to the West. IA, MN to the North, and KY, TN, AR to the South. There has always been a rivalry against the Chicago Cubs, in the National League. As for the American League, I have to pull for the Kansas City Royals. I've also been a Little League Umpire, and fan of everything the Little League stands for. Going to Williamsport, PA and seeing the Little League World Series is in my top 10 things to do on my bucket list.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Good evening everyone,   I don't think my mother ever cooked a meal that I didn't like. We also had a kitchen where mom fixed the food, dad filled your plate, and you eat it. It wasn't until our baby brother was born that we could have Pop-Tarts for snacks. Before that all snacks had to meet mom's approval, and in her opinion wouldn't prevent you from eating supper.   Well my day started off on a good note, but has become frustrating because my IT person didn't transfer my saved videos I use for teaching. Then I found out that they didn't save any of my book marks for websites I use frequently.   Best wishes, stay motivated,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      The number is relative to method of deliver, the time of the dose, and when the blood is drawn. However, I do want to keep away from DVT and other potential issues. I assume I may be getting backed down from my current dose, but my doc told me to stick with the higher dose, so? I also wonder if this has anything to do the my breast growth and mental changes that have been happening over the past few years, like I have some estrogen sensitivity so a little goes a long way or something? I don't have enough data to postulate, but who knows!   With weekly, subcutaneous, shots you expect to see big swings of serum level estradiol from shot to peak to trough. My doctor is interested in mid-week testing (for E and T levels only), which would be post-peak blood serum levels but they will be higher than trough. Most, if not all, resources I've seen online is to measure at trough (which I might do just to do it next time) along with a SHBG, LH, and other metrics.   This is from transfemscience.org for Estradiol valerate in oil, which is very spiky compared to some other estradiol combinations. It's also for intramuscular, which will have a slower uptake and is usually dosed in higher volume due to the slower absorption rate from muscles. They don't have subcutaneous numbers, which I would expect to see similar spikes but higher levels at similar doses due to the relatively higher absorption rate direct from fat.   Are you doing pills, shots, or patches? And when you do get your levels checked are you getting that done when your levels are lowest or some other time?
    • Willow
      Both of my parents were from the “North Shore” of Boston.  My mother Lynn and my father Swampscot.  They had an early 1900s Scots-Irish New England diet.  My sister and I were born in the 40s in Ohio well away from New England seafood and in an area where food was more German and Polish.  My first experience with liver and onions was during basic training.  They ate salt cod but never forced us to eat it same with oysters.  My dad ate oysters but my mother wouldn’t.  Anyone who ever ate an oyster can figure that one out.  I grew up eating lamb.  My wife won’t touch it. I love brazed ox tail, again no way. And the list goes on.  
    • KathyLauren
      My mother was German, so yes, I think it was a cultural thing.  If I'd known you when we were cleaning out my mother's place, I could have sent you her "threat jar". 
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Been taking it real easy.Another good neighbor of mine and his 15 year old son came over and cut down a couple dead trees on my property.Knew not to do it taking it easy.I had them put the wood near my fire pit in the back yard.Did it and happy where they put it.They knew I had stents put in and needed to take it easy
    • Ashley0616
      Wow that is a high number for Estradiol good grief! Testosterone levels are better than mine. I don't remember my Estradiol level but testosterone was 80. To me that is really high but it was in the two hundreds the check in before last one. 
    • Ivy
      I don't understand why this would make a difference being a "dad" I mean, as far as how they would grow.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...