How's it going fellas

[NashySlashy]

45 minutes ago, DonkeySocks said:

I don't think it's really thread necromancy if the thread was intended as an occasional check-in and chat thread.  Personally I'm doing pretty well, although I had some hidden gender identity anxiety about a visit with my husband's family, and I realized that I was feeling exhausted and anxious about seeing them because we'll be meeting at a restaurant. I've asked most of my side of the family--I still have a brother and one very questionable sister in law to go, but let's pray she's actually more tolerant than she seemed last time this came up--to use the proper male pronouns for me, but I haven't asked my husband's family. And I'm not going to, in a restaurant. Given his brother's penchant for talking loudly about controversial subjects and being somewhat unkind when in a group (he's much nicer privately), I realized my anxiety was stemming from being in public and talking about pronouns. So I feel much better since I decided just not to bring it up with them. Talked to my husband about it and he gets it, he's had to deal with his brother his whole life. I'm standing up for myself and my pronouns around my mother, and that makes me feel good.

 

I get you, man.

 

My husband's family still hasn't gathered that I'm a man. They still call me by the wrong pronouns and refer to me as his "wife". To be fair, though...I'm not exactly out to everyone yet. I'm still presenting as my birth gender around most people, but I plan on changing that once I have enough money to get a proper haircut (bills were killer this month...). I already have masculine clothes, a binder, and a packer. Once the hair is lopped off, I'll be all set.

[DonkeySocks]

52 minutes ago, NashySlashy said:

Once the hair is lopped off, I'll be all set.

Yes, in my experience, short hair = male and long hair = female, to the vast majority of people in the USA, at first glance. (Mine is currently quite long. Doesn't really seem to matter how masc I dress otherwise, but when I had short hair, I passed as a very young man.)

[Roach]

@DonkeySocks I can understand the anxiety around extended family. I don't see most of the people in my family very often, so I struggle to think of what is appropriate to tell them.

2 hours ago, DonkeySocks said:

I'm standing up for myself and my pronouns around my mother, and that makes me feel good.

Great to hear this!

[Roach]

2 hours ago, NashySlashy said:

Once the hair is lopped off, I'll be all set.

A fresh haircut is always something to look forward to!

[Vidanjali]

Btw, I hope y'all don't mind me dropping in on this thread from time to time - I don't ID as a man, but as nonbinary and possibly a touch of trans masc. I just appreciate a place to talk about our intersecting issues.

 

To wit, an update on chest dysphoria. The shirt I was wearing in that photo which triggered the recent dysphoria went right into the donation bag - bye bye. I decided that if I'm seriously considering any kind of top surgery, then I can certainly be disciplined to lose a few pounds, and that will reduce boobage to some extent. I'm not overweight, but was about 8 lbs more than the weight I prefer to be at the time the photo was taken which triggered me. I've lost 2 lbs so far. I gained weight, ironically, not because of the pandemic, but because concurrent with that, I started having issues with my feet which prevented me from walking as much as I usually do. That's getting a little better, but since I'm not as mobile as I used to be, I'm now making a concerted effort to limit calorie consumption. Also, I've been collecting a few light weight short sleeve button downs to wear over a tee shirt - this hides the side boob watermelon effect pretty well and makes me feel more handsome. Overall, I'm feeling more hopeful about the situation. 

 

Question. When you're presenting masc or masc-ish and you're not out to family (or friends), do you ever wonder or worry what they think? I'm pretty sure people in my life have noticed a change in my appearance over the last few years. When I was younger and presented masc or androgynous (not knowing I was trans, but just because that's how I liked to express), I frequently got pegged, and sometimes got made fun of, for being a lesbian, which I'm not. (Trying to refrain from going off on a tangent regarding how conflicted and self-loathing I felt for so long...) Moreover, I know my husband accepts me (this took an awful lot of strife, but we're there now...) and thinks I'm cute, but I sometimes get paranoid that others feel "sorry" for him that "I've let myself go" or some such. I'm very much working on not caring what others think - it goes hand in hand with greater self-acceptance. However, I still struggle with it when it comes to my husband - I feel haunted by the past in ways - things from when I was younger & things he's said to me before he learned to be more accepting. Please forgive me if this brings up anything painful for anyone. I really need folks to talk with about this because I don't have any trans guy or trans masc friends irl. Thanks for listening. 

[NashySlashy]

18 minutes ago, Vidanjali said:

Btw, I hope y'all don't mind me dropping in on this thread from time to time - I don't ID as a man, but as nonbinary and possibly a touch of trans masc. I just appreciate a place to talk about our intersecting issues.

 

To wit, an update on chest dysphoria. The shirt I was wearing in that photo which triggered the recent dysphoria went right into the donation bag - bye bye. I decided that if I'm seriously considering any kind of top surgery, then I can certainly be disciplined to lose a few pounds, and that will reduce boobage to some extent. I'm not overweight, but was about 8 lbs more than the weight I prefer to be at the time the photo was taken which triggered me. I've lost 2 lbs so far. I gained weight, ironically, not because of the pandemic, but because concurrent with that, I started having issues with my feet which prevented me from walking as much as I usually do. That's getting a little better, but since I'm not as mobile as I used to be, I'm now making a concerted effort to limit calorie consumption. Also, I've been collecting a few light weight short sleeve button downs to wear over a tee shirt - this hides the side boob watermelon effect pretty well and makes me feel more handsome. Overall, I'm feeling more hopeful about the situation. 

 

Question. When you're presenting masc or masc-ish and you're not out to family (or friends), do you ever wonder or worry what they think? I'm pretty sure people in my life have noticed a change in my appearance over the last few years. When I was younger and presented masc or androgynous (not knowing I was trans, but just because that's how I liked to express), I frequently got pegged, and sometimes got made fun of, for being a lesbian, which I'm not. (Trying to refrain from going off on a tangent regarding how conflicted and self-loathing I felt for so long...) Moreover, I know my husband accepts me (this took an awful lot of strife, but we're there now...) and thinks I'm cute, but I sometimes get paranoid that others feel "sorry" for him that "I've let myself go" or some such. I'm very much working on not caring what others think - it goes hand in hand with greater self-acceptance. However, I still struggle with it when it comes to my husband - I feel haunted by the past in ways - things from when I was younger & things he's said to me before he learned to be more accepting. Please forgive me if this brings up anything painful for anyone. I really need folks to talk with about this because I don't have any trans guy or trans masc friends irl. Thanks for listening. 

We don't mind at all! Make yourself at home.

 

I haven't really presented as masc yet, though I do wear manly clothes, have hairy legs, and have worn a packer out in public. I purposely chose a small one because I didn't want people I knew to look down at my crotch and call me out. I'm taking it slow in the transitioning process. I just know, when I do go all out with my appearance, it's going to turn some heads and make those who know me question me. But I do have A person who knows I'm trans. And they are accepting. So that's a step in the right direction.

[DonkeySocks]

2 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

Also, I've been collecting a few light weight short sleeve button downs to wear over a tee shirt - this hides the side boob watermelon effect pretty well and makes me feel more handsome. Overall, I'm feeling more hopeful about the situation. 

Yes, button downs over T-shirts work great! And if you need more support/coverage, you can wear a tight undershirt under the T, as well.

 

2 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

I sometimes get paranoid that others feel "sorry" for him that "I've let myself go" or some such.

I think that there's a sexist discrepancy in our society, that men can't wear women's clothes, but women can wear men's clothes, so even when you're not out, people either don't notice or, if they notice, they lean toward the lesbian assumption, that is pretty common unfortunately. More visibility for trans men will help that, and we can only get that when it's safe to do so, it's kind of a catch-22. I haven't had exactly the thought you've had here, but all kinds of related ones, and it really stems from misgendering ourselves. We're judging ourselves societally as women (and we know how damaging that can be for cis women, as well). If everyone knew you were a trans man (or nb, or masc femme or anything), would you suppose they would think you were a handsome trans man, or nb? When we think others won't think we're pretty women, that we'll somehow be offending them with our looks, then we're assuming we have to be either women or all the way out as trans, which isn't true. We're trans all the time. Judge your looks based on that. Other people don't know everything that your husband gets out of a relationship with you. If you knew someone was cis, and didn't look conventionally beautiful, would you think they were disappointing their spouse? I think you would probably assume there's more to a relationship than looks.

 

Anyway, I'm rambling. I guess it comes down to, you are imagining what others think, coming up with a possibility that misgenders and judges you, and then wallowing in it--I've been there numerous times. You don't even know what they're thinking. If they think those things, let them. Imagine if they outright told you that you were not good for your spouse. How would he defend you, and how would you defend yourself? Would you even think you had a reason to defend yourself? Would it be worth the bother for someone who doesn't know about your relationship? Isn't your relationship your business? And if they don't outright tell you, they might not even be thinking it.

 

If you're ever insecure about how your husband feels about your looks, I think it's totally fine to actively ask him for affirmation--but first affirm yourself, as a trans/nb, not as a conventional cis female. If it's really causing discomfort and trouble, consider seeing an nb-friendly couples counselor.

 

Someday in this country it will be normal for people to say, that's a good-looking nb. You can do that for yourself, in the mirror. It takes practice. Again, I know, I keep on having to remind myself to think of myself the way I actually identify, not as how I think other people see me. That's up to them. Which is hard to remember. But it is possible, and then you will automatically be more charming.

[DonkeySocks]

2 hours ago, NashySlashy said:

But I do have A person who knows I'm trans. And they are accepting. So that's a step in the right direction.

Sometimes one is all you need!

[Vidanjali]

4 hours ago, DonkeySocks said:

Yes, button downs over T-shirts work great! And if you need more support/coverage, you can wear a tight undershirt under the T, as well.

 

I think that there's a sexist discrepancy in our society, that men can't wear women's clothes, but women can wear men's clothes, so even when you're not out, people either don't notice or, if they notice, they lean toward the lesbian assumption, that is pretty common unfortunately. More visibility for trans men will help that, and we can only get that when it's safe to do so, it's kind of a catch-22. I haven't had exactly the thought you've had here, but all kinds of related ones, and it really stems from misgendering ourselves. We're judging ourselves societally as women (and we know how damaging that can be for cis women, as well). If everyone knew you were a trans man (or nb, or masc femme or anything), would you suppose they would think you were a handsome trans man, or nb? When we think others won't think we're pretty women, that we'll somehow be offending them with our looks, then we're assuming we have to be either women or all the way out as trans, which isn't true. We're trans all the time. Judge your looks based on that. Other people don't know everything that your husband gets out of a relationship with you. If you knew someone was cis, and didn't look conventionally beautiful, would you think they were disappointing their spouse? I think you would probably assume there's more to a relationship than looks.

 

Anyway, I'm rambling. I guess it comes down to, you are imagining what others think, coming up with a possibility that misgenders and judges you, and then wallowing in it--I've been there numerous times. You don't even know what they're thinking. If they think those things, let them. Imagine if they outright told you that you were not good for your spouse. How would he defend you, and how would you defend yourself? Would you even think you had a reason to defend yourself? Would it be worth the bother for someone who doesn't know about your relationship? Isn't your relationship your business? And if they don't outright tell you, they might not even be thinking it.

 

If you're ever insecure about how your husband feels about your looks, I think it's totally fine to actively ask him for affirmation--but first affirm yourself, as a trans/nb, not as a conventional cis female. If it's really causing discomfort and trouble, consider seeing an nb-friendly couples counselor.

 

Someday in this country it will be normal for people to say, that's a good-looking nb. You can do that for yourself, in the mirror. It takes practice. Again, I know, I keep on having to remind myself to think of myself the way I actually identify, not as how I think other people see me. That's up to them. Which is hard to remember. But it is possible, and then you will automatically be more charming.

 

Thanks for this thoughtful and candid reply @DonkeySocks . In my heart I do believe that fear is an illusion caused by projection. I have layers of trauma and internalized phobia to dig through. Each time a new layer emerges, I try to be grateful for the opportunity to let go. Sometimes it takes a village, so I appreciate you. And, I DO practice seeing a handsome nb in the mirror! I don't think I ever put it in words, but I do in fact do that. It's nice. In fact, I've been taking selfies recently because I plan to paint a series of self portraits. Should be therapeutic. Peace. 

[awkward-yet-sweet]

On 6/30/2022 at 5:01 PM, NashySlashy said:

 

I get you, man.

 

My husband's family still hasn't gathered that I'm a man. They still call me by the wrong pronouns and refer to me as his "wife". To be fair, though...I'm not exactly out to everyone yet. I'm still presenting as my birth gender around most people, but I plan on changing that once I have enough money to get a proper haircut (bills were killer this month...). I already have masculine clothes, a binder, and a packer. Once the hair is lopped off, I'll be all set.

I feel what you're saying.  I haven't even figured out pronouns yet.  My husband's mother calls me "it" which is really irritating. 

 

I think you'll find that hair is pretty easy, depending on your style.  My husband actually cuts mine these days.  He's a real wizard with a pair of scissors and a $25 clipper from Walmart.  He cuts his own hair with two mirrors.  The shorter you cut it, the easier it seems to be to manage.  Once you're more confident, you might give it a try.  If you mess up, you can always adjust it shorter since it grows back 😉 

 

 

[Ivy]

2 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

My husband's mother calls me "it" which is really irritating. 

That is more than irritating.  It is…  I don't even want to go there.  It is at the least infuriating to me just hearing about it.  It is dehumanizing.  

I'm sorry you have to hear this from family.  It must hurt.

[awkward-yet-sweet]

9 hours ago, Jandi said:

That is more than irritating.  It is…  I don't even want to go there.  It is at the least infuriating to me just hearing about it.  It is dehumanizing.  

I'm sorry you have to hear this from family.  It must hurt.

It is a bit much sometimes, but I don't usually get worked up about it.  I understand that her belittling of me is because she has a wounded soul from her own upbringing. I'm merely the latest target.  

 

Her 1950s view of life is simply irrelevant and not worth confronting.  I make myself scarce until she's gone when she's in a mood.  

 

The good thing is that my husband's kids have learned to be more kind.  A couple of the young daughters even asked her, "Grandma, why are you being mean?" She was startled by being confronted by children. 

 

I'm pretty confident that the next generation is turning out just fine. ☺️

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

"Grandma, why are you being mean?" She was startled by being confronted by children. 

This is a good sign.

[Vidanjali]

@awkward-yet-sweet I admire your rather compassionate understanding of your MIL's behavior. And I think it's awesome that the kids are calling her on it. I also have a lot of faith in the younger generation. Obviously, we can't generalize any group of people, but for one, we have kids being parented by people, many of whom are making great efforts to break the legacy of fear and anger based behaviors and beliefs inherited by previous generations. Also, if you ever need a humorous coping mechanism, you might pretend she's using "it" to denote how fresh and iconic you are, like you are the next it thang. 😉😎

 

Also, that's so cool your husband cuts your hair. When I first met my husband, we were teenagers. He had beautiful long wavy grunge hair, and I had a shaved head - go figure. Our paths crossed over the years, and we eventually got together and later got married at age 40. Since we began dating, I've always cut his hair. He prefers it very short now, and says if I don't cut it, that he'll just shave his whole head - apparently a barber is not an option, lol. I used to cut my own hair with two mirrors, like your husband, but I've been trying to find someone to do it for me because of an issue with my shoulder. I've been through several stylists, and for some reason one side of my hair always comes out longer than the other. Then, I wind up fixing it myself when I get home anyway. I've been thinking about going back to a modified version of my 90s undercut which would be pretty easy for me to do myself - or to ask my husband to do since it would be a uniform length all around. 

[awkward-yet-sweet]

@Vidanjali  I know enough about my husband's mothers upbringing to have some empathy.  To her credit, she did better with her son than her parents did with her.   My husband's grandparents were apparently so bad that he never got to meet them until he was an adult.  Undoing unhealthy patterns sometimes takes 2-3 generations, so overall I actually think she succeeded as a mother even if she is abrasive and dislikes me. 

 

Ultimately, I think a lot of life is about perspective.  I'd rather have a partner with abrasive parents than a bad partner.  At the end of the day, Dr. Seuss would say it is "mind over matter."  Because "the people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind."  She goes home after a while, and I get to curl up next to her son and she just can't fathom it.  I win! 😆  Easy win too, since all I have to do is exist. 

 

Thanks for the idea on being the "new it thang."  I might actually use that!  And if your hair comes out a bit lopsided, the trick is to make it intentionally so.  It is kind of fashionable.  You could be the new trendsetter if you really went for it with gusto. 

 

 

[Spencer Phoenix]

things have been alright recently. cut my own hair a few days ago instead of going to my hairdresser whom i came out to last month. haircut wasn't the best, but i refused to go back to my hairdresser bc last time i went, he started asking me wayy too many questions abt when i'm going to get surgery "down there" & insinuating that i'm just a lesbian even after i told him i've never been attracted to women. yes, he asked me this not long after i came out to him. no, i couldn't get a word in edge-wise to tell him to shut up. it's extra annoying too because he's an openly gay man, so i naively assumed that there would be some support there. however, he did not even bother using my pronouns, and doesn't use the correct pronouns of the trans people in his life while telling stories. it's really just irritating to have to deal with all of this while trying to maintain a haircut that doesn't drive me crazy. maybe i'll just cut it myself for a while, who knows? 

[NashySlashy]

18 minutes ago, Spencer Phoenix said:

things have been alright recently. cut my own hair a few days ago instead of going to my hairdresser whom i came out to last month. haircut wasn't the best, but i refused to go back to my hairdresser bc last time i went, he started asking me wayy too many questions abt when i'm going to get surgery "down there" & insinuating that i'm just a lesbian even after i told him i've never been attracted to women. yes, he asked me this not long after i came out to him. no, i couldn't get a word in edge-wise to tell him to shut up. it's extra annoying too because he's an openly gay man, so i naively assumed that there would be some support there. however, he did not even bother using my pronouns, and doesn't use the correct pronouns of the trans people in his life while telling stories. it's really just irritating to have to deal with all of this while trying to maintain a haircut that doesn't drive me crazy. maybe i'll just cut it myself for a while, who knows? 

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Your hairdresser should be ashamed of himself for treating you that way.

 

My husband is kind of the same way, unfortunately. Multiple people (including myself) have told him that I'm trans and he STILL refers to me as "a beautiful woman" and "his lovely wife". Then again, that's partially my fault because I haven't been able to really present as male yet. That's gonna change this weekend, though...getting my hair cut short.

[Roach]

On 7/1/2022 at 1:09 PM, DonkeySocks said:

Yes, button downs over T-shirts work great! And if you need more support/coverage, you can wear a tight undershirt under the T, as well.

Brb, about to go stockpile these clothing items...

 

Man, dysphoria been kicking me in the shins recently. I get very self conscious about my appearance. If I'm in a casual setting I can grab the cargo pants and binder/hoodie, and I'm GOLDEN. However, at work we're expected to look more professional. With the commute and long hours, binding seems like a bad idea. Some days it's hard to focus, it feels like my brain is going at 100mph at all times. One of these days it will shut up...

 

Seriously though, gender affirming clothing is great, but it is crushing when you catch a strange angle of yourself and suddenly feel terrible. I need to stop looking in reflective surfaces and convince myself I look manly af. Never pegged myself as someone who would get on HRT quickly but my voice is really bothering me these days too, and training is difficult to be consistent with... Man.

Sorry for ranting, I just don't have anyone irl to talk to about this.

 

On a more positive note, gonna invite a bunch of my uni friends over later this week, who I haven't seen in a few months. We're gonna watch some movies and play some videogames. I can already tell it's gonna be a disaster. So hyped.

[DonkeySocks]

13 hours ago, Roach said:

Brb, about to go stockpile these clothing items...

 

Hopefully some of this will be helpful regarding your clothes for work:

 

Go a size larger than normal for the button-down, size smaller than normal for the undershirt. Use a tank top undershirt, then there are no sleeves to pinch behind your armpits, so you can easily go a size down for a snug fit. Also it's less likely to show another collar or sleeve under your T-shirt. The T-shirt can be your normal size.

If at work you are allowed to unbutton and untuck your overshirt, then you are in great shape, because the sides of the button-down shirt then fall right down the sides of your chest and hide both front and side curves. If you are required to tuck it in, be sure and get a large button-down with plenty of length to it, so it does NOT lay smooth against your chest when tucked in. You tuck it in and blouse it out well along your waistline so you have a lot of breathing room in front. Basically you need to be able to use your professional, confident posture correctly, be able to hold your shoulders naturally instead of slouching to hide your chest. Standing confidently will make you feel good as well as look good, and if your shirt is loose enough (or ideally unbuttoned), it won't betray you when you stand in a relaxed, confident manner. Also, solid dark colors help, but if you can find a nice professional looking print button-down shirt, prints also help disguise folds and curves.

 

If you have to tuck in your shirt at work, be really picky about your slacks. Wear only the kind that lay flat in front, the unpleated kind, so they don't sort of puff out around your hips and front. Try them on walking around and sitting down, to test this. If work allows it, black jeans solve this problem.

 

Don't be afraid of the mirror. Pick out something you like about yourself each time you see your reflection.  How many people you look at each day could you detail the appearance of? Nobody's paying as much attention as you are--and if they are paying attention, it's because they think you're cute. If they're looking in detail at your clothes, it's because they like the way your clothes look! (And if that isn't true, might as well interpret everything in your favor anyway.) Good luck! You're already successful in so many ways. You can do this!

[Roach]

@DonkeySocksThank you so much for this 🙏 I appreciate it!

[NashySlashy]

I finally got my hair cut!

 

It's not as short as I'd hoped it would be (there was a bit of a language barrier with my stylist and myself). But it's manageable. Besides, its much shorter than it was before, which is all I can ask for.

 

Baby steps.

[Roach]

@NashySlashyYooo! Your hair is such a sick color. Looks great 👍 

[DonkeySocks]

@NashySlashy Your hair looks great!

 

In my experience, stylists don't take you seriously when they see you as having long, lovely locks and you ask to have it cut off. They won't really know what you mean when you say "short", or they'll be in denial, unless you specify the length or show them a picture. I guess they don't want you to say they went too short! Hopefully it will work out when you go for another cut. But it looks great now.

[NashySlashy]

17 hours ago, Roach said:

@NashySlashyYooo! Your hair is such a sick color. Looks great 👍 

Thank you!

 

14 hours ago, DonkeySocks said:

@NashySlashy Your hair looks great!

 

In my experience, stylists don't take you seriously when they see you as having long, lovely locks and you ask to have it cut off. They won't really know what you mean when you say "short", or they'll be in denial, unless you specify the length or show them a picture. I guess they don't want you to say they went too short! Hopefully it will work out when you go for another cut. But it looks great now.

 

Yeah, I tried telling her that I wanted it just a little below the ears and she seemed confused by that. So she made it a bit longer than expected. But I'm satisfied by its shortness, nonetheless.

 

Thank you!

[Vidanjali]

A happy hair tale to tell. I set about cutting my hair last week. I've cut my own hair successfully hundreds of times. But, with my disability issues, it's become more difficult for me. My energy kinda pooped out before I could finish. What I had was an incomplete undercut. I'd wound up taking the #2 attachment on the clippers to the back and sides. It's been years since I've gone that short. I blended the sides and front nicely, but was too tired finish the back. So, I called the salon I've been going to. The stylist I usually see, although she is very cool, I think doesn't really get what I'm going for & to be fair, I may not have figured out how to communicate it to her. I asked for an appt with whomever was next available. Next morning, at the salon, the first person I ran into was my regular stylist who owns the shop. She was totally cool and said they all work as a team there, and that she felt I'd be in good hands with the stylist I had the appt with because he specializes in barbering. Well, the new stylist and I totally hit it off. He actually complemented what I did with the front and sides, said he understood 100% what I was going for, AND that his hair is the same texture as mine and that his style (which was tied up at the time) was basically a long version of mine. I told him right off the bat that I'm nonbinary and that I prefer a masculine haircut. He hooked me up. I was and still am so happy with the haircut. I'll continue to see him. The greatest thing, though, was that whereas in the past on the occasion I'd cut my hair super short, I'd suffer terrible guilt and shame because I did not know myself and did not understand why I was compelled to "sabotage" my appearance. This time, even with a half complete haircut for one evening, I was hardly bothered. In fact, I had this existential moment. I was asking my husband if HE was upset. He insisted he wasn't, and I realized that in observing myself to not be upset, I concluded that I must be missing something. If I was not upset then I really must be crazy and probably had unwittingly upset others. But, no. It was all fine. It was a fascinating experience all together. The established norm in my mind was "this is going to be emotionally devastating". Not only was it not, but it was euphoric - I realized I'm a much more integrated individual than I used to be & now I have a dope new barber! I was a little worried about the "upsetting others" or being perceived as crazy aspects the next day as I prepared to go to church to sing in the choir. But, I got lots of compliments on my hair from both male and female choir folks. A big boost. 

 

Hope you guys are all doing well. @NashySlashy your hair looks great. It must feel great to have it much shorter than before.