How's it going fellas

[Russ Fenrisson]

@JandiAgreed. Sometimes the conversations I overhear are quite funny and interesting. Just feeling everyone getting along in a warm, inviting environment is enough to fix my mood.

[Roach]

There's a cafe at my uni and walking between tables is so funny. One group will be engaged in a thoughtful philosophical debate and then the next group is just arguing with extreme malice about whether toilet paper goes over or under.

[Vidanjali]

Good vibes. Just got off the phone with tech support for my laptop. Was a follow up, and I spoke with the same person as last time. In our first conversation, he kept calling me "Miss V", and I kept wanting to interject and say something, but chickened out. Today, first time he said "Miss V", I immediately and emphatically stated, "you can just call me V". He said "got it", apologized, and said it's just the Southern in him. We had a good chuckle over that. But it really felt great talking with him after that. He was really cool. 

 

Next, to correct the greeter at church who tells me, "good morning, young lady"!

[Roach]

That's pretty cool @Vidanjali. I know correcting people is pretty nerve-wracking, so you did a great job. That guy sounded real chill! Hope you got your tech supported as well.

[Vidanjali]

4 hours ago, Roach said:

arguing with extreme malice about whether toilet paper goes over or under.

 

😭 I won't even go there. Some things you just can't unknow about a person. 

 

2 hours ago, Roach said:

That's pretty cool @Vidanjali. I know correcting people is pretty nerve-wracking, so you did a great job. That guy sounded real chill! Hope you got your tech supported as well.

 

Thanks! And so great that the exit interview exceeded your expectations. Such a good feeling when people are cool about being flexible with gendered language. 

[Sol]

I went to my favorite rock shop today and I was talking to a lady and she asked me and my sister "Are you sisters?" And my sister immediately jumped in "We're siblings," cause I got too nervous to correct her. The lady just nodded, said "Okay," and moved on with the conversation.

[Roach]

@Sol your sister sound awesome. It's great to have someone who supports you, especially if you're close and hang out a lot. For me, this is my brother. Good stuff 👍

[awkward-yet-sweet]

I've been really fortunate to have an awesome sister.  We're less than a year apart in age, and we've always stuck to each other like glue.  Our parents always scolded us for continuing to sleep in the same bed and shower together long after the age where kids usually prefer privacy.  We just never really cared, and we still share everything like a couple of kids. 

 

I was kind of nervous that if my body and sense of self started changing, that my sister and I might not be as close or do the same stuff together.  We lived apart for over a year after high school when she found a girlfriend and moved in with her.  That was a decade ago, and I've never been so miserable as during that time. The thought of going through something like that was really unpleasant.  But this week she assured me that she's fine with having a "sibling" or even a brother, since to her I'm still exactly the same person.  💝 

[Sol]

My sister is one of my biggest supporters, and I strive to be that way for her too. And I think I'm succeeding, cause we get along way better than we did when we were younger (we have a bigger age difference and I was going through a lot emotionally all the time).

[Ivy]

On 8/13/2022 at 10:51 PM, awkward-yet-sweet said:

But this week she assured me that she's fine with having a "sibling" or even a brother, since to her I'm still exactly the same person.

You are blessed with a true sister.

[Russ Fenrisson]

Ah, I wish I could be at that point, but being in public can always be nerve-wracking. The worst fear is meeting someone in public another person knows and then being introduced as the wrong name and gender. I want to make a correction in the matter or interject as "And this is-" is being said, but I'm too wary to do such a thing. I'd rather deal with the short upset than making someone angry afterward. I wish I were braver.

 

At least when I'm alone or at a café, I can leave the order as the name I prefer. It's a small victory for me for now.

[Vidanjali]

I just watched "Stay on Board: The Leo Baker Story" on Netflix. So good. Here's the synopsis:

 

Celebrated skateboarder Leo Baker shares the details of his rise to fame and the clash between his career and self-discovery as a trans man.

[Russ Fenrisson]

Sounds interesting. Good stuff like that is always hidden and buried away on Netflix. Maybe I'll plan to watch it this weekend for movie night and see what it's like.

[Spencer Phoenix]

Had a conversation with my coworkers the other day and they had mentioned that another person had misgendered me, and I mentioned something abt how customers & other employees gender me incorrectly, despite my name & pronouns on my name tag, and they were baffled. I remember both of them mentioning how they thought I was a cis man before I mentioned it, which brought a certain amount of euphoria, but also confusion. Like, it was nice to meet new people and have them just treat me as another guy despite being pre-everything (and have them somehow have no clue despite the high-pitched customer service voice). On the other hand, it sorta felt confusing because 1) my feminine deadname is on the schedule, and 2) I'm very much not used to people seeing me as a man first. I've only been out since February, but always sorta had a feeling I was viewed as 'the trans coworker/friend/etc.' first rather than a guy.

 

I'm definitely in a point at my transition where I kinda have to be out so people will gender me correctly, but it's interesting to me bc I just kinda assumed my coworkers knew I was trans in the first place bc of my appearance and others using either he or she pronouns for me. Idk, I just kinda found that conversation really interesting

[Russ Fenrisson]

@Spencer PhoenixIt is a strange thing. Sometimes what we think isn't the same as others. It's always a work in progress. Hopefully everything gets worked out. It sounds like a whirlwind of emotions at times.

[Russ Fenrisson]

Hello, and happy Friday to everyone. How was everyone's week? Got any plans for the weekend?

 

As August ends, I'm ready for September. I feel cool weather ahead.

[Roach]

Hey Russ! Had a great first week back at uni. Looking forward to a relatively uneventful semester. You right, I'm so ready for autumn weather. That's when you can wear the real cozy stuff. 

[DonkeySocks]

Hey guys, I have little or nothing to update about, I'm just dropping in, I do get updates on this thread to my inbox and I love seeing how people are doing.  I agree about the weather, today is so muggy; I love fall weather, and I think we're due for some!

[Spencer Phoenix]

Moving back to the dorms tomorrow, which I'm very excited and nervous for. Since it's my first semester fully out with the university, I don't know too much regarding how I'll be treated as a trans person in their system. I already notice a lot of issues with how my college handles the use of legal vs preferred names, despite all the advertising of how accepting the campus is towards minorities. I've had to contact the ID & IT offices this summer over preferred name usage, and am planning on contacting res life about it too since they constantly deadname me in emails despite me having a preferred name in my application. Unfortunately, I haven't heard a single good experience regarding res life or the ID office when it comes to actual issues being presented to them, so I don't know how much I'm going to have to fight to not see my deadname when I check into the dorms every day, or want to get dining hall food. Oh well, I guess I'll find out how this will go in the coming months.

[Russ Fenrisson]

@Spencer PhoenixI wish you luck in your endeavors. College is a good way to find yourself but at the same time, you'll find things aren't that much different from what you left behind in high school. I hope everything goes well with you and, who knows, maybe the school will catch up with you. I also hate when services give the presumed guise of "preferred names," and end up using pronouns and names you aren't comfortable with. In time, things will get better.

 

I'm looking forward to cooler weather too Roach and DonkeySocks. The heat has been numbing and I'm ready to wear more comfortable clothes, bed under heavy blankets, and go outside more to feel the cool winds on my skin.

[Russ Fenrisson]

Just wanted to bring up this interesting dream I had last night:

 

I was suffering from a bit of insomnia so it took time to get back to sleep. When I did, I was in a half-conscious state- a ripe condition to experience memorable, yet strange, dreams. In the dream, I walked into this small classroom where a group of people were gathered, just relaxing it seems. In the classroom were a lion cub and a tiger cub. I'd say they were both adolescents as they were far from being small newborns; they were roughly the size of a setter breed of dog. As I was walking across the classroom to find a seat (as they seemed to be placed in a round perimeter of the classroom rather than the typical rows), the tiger cub walked up to me and procceeded to stand up(!) and placed its paws on my shoulders. It was slightly shorter than me so it wasn't too much of a big deal. I'm assuming it was semi-sentient as when I asked "Do you want a hug?" it seemed to nod and allowed me to hug it back. It looked so happy and friendly with its honey-brown eyes. Not a common thing you see with big cats. While we hugged, it licked my face and kissed me as a dog would do.

 

It was a strange dream, but interesting nonetheless. It was a bright moment in my rough experience with insomnia.

[Vidanjali]

@Spencer Phoenix I hope you an find the right channels so that they'll consistently get your name right. That's so frustrating. I also hope that your raising attention to the issue will cause the institution to wake up and make it a seamless process for others. 

 

@Russ Fenrisson that is a cool dream. I hope it made you feel loved. 

 

Speaking of dreams, I've been focusing on queer community building with my church rainbow group and with Stonewall National Museum and Archives. Two nights ago, I had a vivid and drawn out dream, but the gist was that I was mountaineering with another person at a great elevation when freak bad weather moved in. We would not have survived on our own. But, we quickly encountered a large group of other mountaineers who had all banded together. They welcomed us in, and we all efficiently pooled our resources making sure each person was properly outfitted and had sufficient sustenance. We all weathered the calamity together, summited, and returned safely. Made me realize my subconscious is very much on board with this vision of victory via power in cooperative numbers. 

 

In other news, I just got my second haircut from my fabulous new barber. If that wasn't a good enough experience, at the end he told me that the salon, in an effort to be more progressive and inclusive, had a new price structure which now includes gender diverse pricing!!! I literally thought I might be dreaming when he told me that. EUPHORIA! 

[Russ Fenrisson]

@VidanjaliIt was interesting nonetheless. I don't think anyone in the room commented aloud on the tiger, but for some reason, I felt their name started with a B, like Bernie or Bernard. They were a friendly tiger.

 

That dream you had sounded pretty epic. In a way, you could be right: as you build a community, you find everyone around you is gradually coming together in one mind, one goal. I wish the world were more like this. Problem-solving would be less stressful if everyone were of sound mind and properly talked everything out.

 

What kind of pricing is the barber offering? For the longest time, I thought salons were unfair at how they charged women more for hair-cuts than men, even though they may have the same length of hair (I might be wrong, so please correct me on this; I'm genuinely curious about this subject). It's great your salon is making a concious effort to cater to others. I know for me, I'm sometimes uncomfortable with them because I don't think they can provide me with the services I desire, especially since I desire male hair-cuts now. Nothing beats styling at home, though.

[Russ Fenrisson]

Hey, how's everyone doing as September gets into full-swing? Have any plans for the upcoming holiday next month?

 

Can't say why but when the full moon comes out, I feel so much better, confident, powerful. Anyone else get like this? Sometimes I feel physically weaker so I have to go easier on myself. It's a good opportunity to go on more walks since I need to do that. I find I need to move more than I already do to keep my mood content.

[awkward-yet-sweet]

1 hour ago, Russ Fenrisson said:

Can't say why but when the full moon comes out, I feel so much better, confident, powerful. Anyone else get like this?

I guess I like the full moons in the fall.  I don't really feel more confident, but they are pretty to look at.  My GF likes them a bit too much.  She has to be out at night barking at the moon with a couple of her friends.  🙄  Some of us grow up, and some of us merely grow older I guess. 

 

IDK why, but I feel like being in my 30's is a lot different.  I still look young enough that when I buy a bottle of wine everybody swears I have a fake ID....but I just don't want to be involved in anything after 9pm anymore.  No late night runs for pizza, no parties, just curl up in my warm den between a couple of my partners and sleep for 9 hours solid. 

 

I had to try to remember what holiday next month has...I'm guessing Halloween?  That's a ways off yet, but I guess since 2/3 of the year is gone already, it'll be here before we know it.