Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Hello I'm Erin, here's my intro

Erin Elizabeth

Recommended Posts

Hi, I'm currently still known publicly by my male name of Paul. I recently realized I can't keep outrunning my gender dysphoria, and have come to embrace the fact that I am actually a woman. I have known something was wrong with my body since I was a child, but was force to suppress my feelings by my mother for fear of what other people would think. It was the 90's back then and people weren't as understanding back then.


I got those feelings again that something was wrong with my body when I hit puberty around 1997, but again suppressed it even though I was outwardly more feminine, and felt more comfortable that way. I was brought up in a Baptist church and trans gender wasn't welcome in our church. 


I can't tell you how many times when seeing my female friends develop, that I wished I was going to get what they had. I would go to bed at night hoping I would wake up the next morning and the nightmare would be over. That I would really be a female like my friends. Of course the following mornings would always be the same, I would wake up still a male. Dreading to go to school on a daily basis till I graduated in 2004.


That's when I started suppressing my dysphoria and trying to outrun it, I joined the army and served a year. I met my beautiful wife in 2005 and continued to suppress my true gender. In 2013 and 2014 we welcomed two beautiful children into our lives.


The past 2 years my dysphoria has resurfaced, and is even stronger than before. About a week ago I shaved my chest and thighs, it made me feel so good. So I decided to Shave the rest of my body hair. I felt so much more feminine and myself. It made me realize I needed to come out to my wife and hope she will support me.

Link to comment
  • Carolyn Marie changed the title to Hello I'm Erin, here's my intro

Welcome, @Erin Elizabeth !  You'll find a number of folks here with experiences very similar to yours.  For many of us, each cycle of dysphoria was stronger. Coming out to your spouse is indeed an important step, as is finding a therapist (and including your spouse, if she's willing to attend with you, can be very helpful).


Please do look under the Forums tab for topics that may be of interest to you, and feel free to join in to the conversation or ask questions.  Looking forward to hearing from you,



Link to comment

Thanks for the welcome @Astrid it's good to know there is support here. As for my wife I'm not sure if our relationship will survive, I have covered that in another topic in coming out that is waiting approval. I am hoping she will be willing to go to therapy with me when I find a therapist. I think her biggest concern is being seen as a lesbian once I start transition with HRT eventually. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 37 Guests (See full list)

    • Petra Jane
    • VickySGV
    • Jamie68
    • Jaycie
    • MaryEllen
    • Mara.something
    • Carla1965
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
    • Most Online

    Newest Member
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. dragonette
    2. Mar
      (33 years old)
    3. Tetris
      (25 years old)
    4. TJ
    5. vectorlol
  • Posts

    • Jackie C.
      Check your local LGBTQ+ center. I gave mine to a friend who donated them to the community where they live. They were much too nice to throw out.   Hugs!
    • Mara.something
      I’ve been wearing a bra with false breasts for almost a year, but i too have started to feel uncomfortable due to my breast growth. Yay!   So i’ve switched to some bra pads instead. It doesn’t feel as heavy or “natural”, but the lack of pressure is a definite plus.   Now I just need to find an organization to donate my old breasts to. Anyone know one? 😀   mara
    • Hannah Renee
      @JaycieI was in the Boston area for about 10 years with my previous (#3) wife. My job for 37 years was overwhelmingly male dominated. During those 10 years, my best friend was a woman. She came out to Chicago a few years after I left Boston to be the "Best Man" at my (most recent) wedding. Years ago by, and we exchange Christmas cards and occasional birthday cards. Sadly, I haven't told her that I'm getting divorced and transitioning. Lack of courage. Soon. Same for the friend who cut me off 5 years ago - maybe.    Funny, it only occurred to me as I wrote about the past regarding my chosen middle name. Renee means reborn, and that was my conscious reason for adopting it. I realized that, subliminally, it was because of Renee Richards.   @MmindyAgain, thank you from the bottom of my heart, and God bless you. Hugs to all at TGP.❤️
    • Concerned father
      Hmnn, worth a shot I mean using that angle [thank you] but issue with him is its his way and his way only, there is no compromising. I will try your way next time the topic comes up and will report back.
    • Jaycie
    • Christopher
      I hope it feels really good to know that your wife supports you as she does. That she sees you as more than a collection of body parts and as a person who desires to be more themselves.
    • Jamey
      You look amazing 💖
    • Mx.Drago
      At least maybe you can get the typewriter fixed properly now. Found one somebody was getting rid of and regret not picking it up.😔Oh well.
    • Mmindy
      Good afternoon,   Everyone looks wonderful.   Best wishes, stay positive, and motivated.   Thank you for sharing your clothing ideas,   Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • LaurenA
      I HATE  spelling checker!!! incursion == inclusion
    • LaurenA
      Today I went out dressed as myself for the very first time.  It was only to the garage and back but that is far more than it has ever been before.  I also made an appointment with the local incursion clinic.  That's a very big step on my part.  To me it mean I want to move forward on my transition.  Gods, I'm so unsure.  I skipped my last appointment.  I HAVE to keep this one .
    • Mmindy
      Hannah,   I pray for you and your happiness with friends. Friends you make as Hannah, the woman you should have always been. Hannah is your chance to break the cycle of pushing people away. You will be okay, and I pray eventually happy.   Hugs,   Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Carolyn Marie
      Maybe try this approach; ask him to put himself in your place, and come up with a couple of suggestions that he thinks are good.  That kind of puts him in the "driver's seat" and allows him to see your side of things.  Might not work, but you never know.   Carolyn Marie
    • Jaycie
      I'm so glad you get to be yourself after all, I'm also sorry for all the losses you have suffered too!!   I had a total of 3-5 best male friends in my life most since grade school or college. One I have had no contact with for the last 10+ years and the others I see maybe 1 time a year if I'm lucky. They were my best friends and we saw each other most days for most of my life, now nothing. Thing is I don't even really miss them but I still like them if that makes sense. My absolute best friend was a woman friend from work and we were inseparable best of friends. I lost her friendship a few years ago because I was stupid. I still miss having her as a friend to this day. Hold tight to your BGFFs  they are hard to find and so precious!!!
    • Hannah Renee
      Truer words were never spoken.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.


Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules


Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.


Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
  • Create New...