Going to the Gyno - Tips?

[Sol]

I probably should I have done this sooner, but I'm going to my first visit to the gyno tomorrow.

I already know the basic stuff and that it's probably gonna be a little weird, but my main goal is looking into birth control as a way to control my periods.

My periods are a source of pain, emotional turmoil, and have become an anxiety/dysphoria trigger. It's really the only one I have, which I'm thankful for. 

Should I mention this to the gyno? This is my first ever visit, and my first visit to this doctor. My mom see him (yes, the doctor is male, and I have no problem with this) and gives him some pretty high praise which is already a good sign. 

But I don't know if the doctor is LGBT friendly, or if I should mention that I'm trans at all.

Any tips or things I should bring up at the appointment that I haven't thought about?

[VickySGV]

Do have a record of your periods and dates over the last 6 months and if they were any other type of problems, just regular girl stuff (yuck -- I know).  It will give him a baseline to be able to rule out other problems and to have confidence that you are caring for yourself.  After he knows all of that your question of the BC is pretty standard and your desire to have is generally normal and informed.  The GD may not be an immediate issue and you will get what you want, but it could be the scale tipper if needed, so have that issue documented in your info as well. 

[neo3000]

Maybe talk with your mom before, about telling your doctor that you're trans? In my opinion I'd be cautious, you really never know how transphobic someone can be. I'd say to only tell him if you're planning on starting HRT, as birth control and testosterone is not the ideal mix. For now you can just tell him you want to control your periods due to pain and how it affects your schedule, he wouldn't deny you the treatment. 

 

Birth control can be nice to control your periods but keep in mind the side effects... depending on the type, I know some birth control can give you a more feminine figure. The depression and stuff also shouldn't be overlooked. But it works for a lot of people, so it can work just fine for you! 

[Justsam]

Can I ask, are you currently taking T? 

[Sol]

Yeah, you can ask @Justsam! And the answer to that is no. I haven't jumped through any of the hoops to get it yet, mostly because I don't fully trust anyone to help me financially with it so I want to save up money to do it myself.

I still haven't been to the gyno, even though this post was made several months ago. Maybe I can make an appointment during the fall or winter when I have a more open schedule, so I can hope for that.

[Sol]

On another note, I'm tempted to just be upfront and say something along the lines of "Look, I'm a trans man, and if you don't think you can respect that tell me now so I can leave." 

[Justsam]

3 hours ago, Sol said:

Yeah, you can ask @Justsam! And the answer to that is no. I haven't jumped through any of the hoops to get it yet, mostly because I don't fully trust anyone to help me financially with it so I want to save up money to do it myself.

I still haven't been to the gyno, even though this post was made several months ago. Maybe I can make an appointment during the fall or winter when I have a more open schedule, so I can hope for that.

Oh yeah, I forget that in America they charge you for absolutely everything 😔. If I'm completely honest, I haven't been to the gyno is over 10 years. I'm so embarrassed to go and now I live in Cambodia it makes it even worse because when Cambodians get nervous they laugh, which doesn't help relax me at all. But don't be like me, go and get checked out to make sure everything is in working order. Do you have a trusted friend that can go with you? 

[awkward-yet-sweet]

I haven't found T to be expensive, but I suppose it depends on the type.  I have insurance through my GF and no real idea of the cost....but if it was expensive I'd hear her complaining for sure! 

 

I've avoided gyno appointments, but to get the service I needed I finally had to go to a good doctor in another city.  I looked up listings of those who were advertised as LGBTQ+ friendly, and it worked out for me.  I would definitely mention the dysphoria/anxiety stuff to the doctor, and any other relevant details about medicines and supplements you take or would like to take. 

 

As @Justsam said, if you can avoid going alone, you might be more comfortable.  I had both my husband and my GF with me, and let the doctor know ahead of time that I'm super nervous in medical settings.  I spent a lot of the appointment actually sitting in my husband's lap so I could feel more secure.  Doctors seem willing to work with stuff like that if it isn't a surprise. 

[Sol]

I do have one friend but I wouldn't feel comfortable with her being in the room beyond prerequisites and going over everything at the end. Hell, I'm not even comfortable with my MOTHER being in the room during any physical exams. The thought makes me cringe, but I can always just ask her to wait outside if that's what I decide is best for me in that case.

I guess you could argue that I'm not very shy about my genitals, I would just prefer nobody see them.

And I can kind of relate to Cambodians, @Justsam, because when I get nervous I start rambling and making jokes 😅

[Justsam]

16 minutes ago, Sol said:

I do have one friend but I wouldn't feel comfortable with her being in the room beyond prerequisites and going over everything at the end. Hell, I'm not even comfortable with my MOTHER being in the room during any physical exams. The thought makes me cringe, but I can always just ask her to wait outside if that's what I decide is best for me in that case.

I guess you could argue that I'm not very shy about my genitals, I would just prefer nobody see them.

And I can kind of relate to Cambodians, @Justsam, because when I get nervous I start rambling and making jokes 😅

Haha yep, I use humour to hide my anxiety as well. Yeah, maybe just having someone waiting outside for you might be all the help you need. I do remember one time when I had to go to the gyno, it was just before I started transitioning. My girlfriend came in with me and she saw how scared/embarrassed I was so while the doc was doing his thing, she flashed her boobs at me 😂 that's definitely helped to relieve the tension. You just have to do whatever is right for you at the end of the day 

[Sol]

Your girlfriend sounds hilarious, and it's amazing. 

If the doc is okay with me talking and trying to have a random conversation then I think I'll be fine. I always feel better if I can just talk to the doctor or nurse or dentist or whoever about fun facts or a video game or just how my life is going at the moment.

[Justsam]

Unfortunately this was a long time ago and she's no longer my gf, but yes she was amazing and always knew how to calm me down. You should have seen me after top surgery. The nurse said she's never had a patient that talks so much 😂😂