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Told some more people today


Hannah Renee

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I came out to my brother and my sister last June, and they were totally supportive. They passed the info on to our 2 half sisters, who I'm told we're also supportive. (I did not grow up with them.) So the only family member who didn't know is my step brother. He's 4 years older than I am, and was in college when our parents married. Can't say as we were exactly close. Anyway, I emailed him to verify his email address hadn't changed - hadn't- so I emailed him back and told him.  Probably in shock, and hasn't responded yet.

 

Then I screwed up a little more nerve, and went on a website which enables connection with one's high school graduation class. I posted a little note and the picture I took Friday of my new hairdo. It'll be interesting to see what kind of responses that generates.

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That’s great Hannah, 

 

I hope you’re able to build back sisterly relationships with your family and old friends from school. 
 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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  • Forum Moderator

Congratulations @Hannah Renee on taking that HUGE step forward in your transition. This shows the commitment and understanding you have of your mission to become your authentic self. Enjoy the freedom it brings not having to hide and suppress your true self. This part of the transition can be a little rocky in the short term but in the long term you are on the track to improve your overall quality of life. I am very happy to read this update!!😀

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R🌷

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I just realized something I had done unknowingly. Last fall, I was contemplating going to the high school football game between my hometown school and the one my daughter attends. I had a ladies football jersey made up with the school name and my grad year on the front and Hannah on the back. I was wearing it, not realizing it, when I posted on that site tonight. Subliminal inspiration, I guess.

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@Hannah ReneeWow, congratulations! Definitely sounds like it took a lot of courage, good for you! I'm glad your family has been so supportive so far and fingers crossed that continues with your step-brother and your high school class. You go girl!

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  • Forum Moderator

Sounds like you are having fun and getting support as you break out of the shell of hiding.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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I got a message on the classmates website from a woman from my class. Said I look great, with an exclamation point.

 

I haven't heard back from my stepbrother yet. He's retired in Arizona, so it's probably really messing with his golf game.

 

We weren't close, so, honestly, no really big deal one way or another.

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  • Admin

You're doing great, Hannah, and I applaud your determination and courage to move forward.  I'm glad that you've been getting great responses so far, and I wish you luck moving forward.

 

Carolyn Marie

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I heard back from the woman from my high school. She has a trans niece. Amazing how a person can make these out-of-the-blue connections by taking a little risk. 

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Finally heard from my step brother today :

 

We don't hear from you often, but it's generally quite the surprise.  No exception this time either.  I respect your decision and wish you the best.  Continue to be a good parent.  That's the most important thing.

 

He closed with, "Take care, my brother..."

Probably not worth mentioning to him that it's now (and hopefully in a few months will be legally) SISTER. Nor will I bother asking if I messed up his head during his golf. Like I said, we never spent enough time together to be close.

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Hannah, I would say that both responses were good. The woman from high school is good, because she now has a peer who has come out as Transgender, and it helps to normalize her niece. As for your estranged step brother, you planted the seeds of surprise and now if there is a later meeting he won't be shocked, or miss informed.

 

One of my favorite quotes is: "Man's mind once stretched by an new idea, it never regains it's original dimensions"-Oliver Wendell Holmes

 

So it may take several correspondences to get him to understand the real impact of your reaching out.

 

I'm happy and proud of you.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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  • 4 weeks later...

I got an email day before yesterday from my younger son's biological grandfather. He's always sending me political stuff, satire, money stuff (never money, tho). Sometimes his stuff is worth looking at, sometimes it's just worth relegating to the electronic trash receptacle. Anyway, there was a political cartoon that was entitled "You assumed my gender!" So I figured it was a good time to finally inform him and grandma about me. I titled mine, Funny you should mention that. 

 

And as I was just typing that last sentence, I got a response. I confess I'm surprised.

He's normally pretty darn snarky.

 

Hi R (me)

I can only wish you well. This will be quite a journey for you.

FYI, no H (my wife) did not say anything to us.
I would have preferred to here from you and I am glad 
you told me.
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  • Forum Moderator
11 hours ago, Hannah Renee said:

And as I was just typing that last sentence, I got a response. I confess I'm surprised.

 

This is very good news and looks optimistic. I think you timed this very well. Now that the door has been opened, I’m sure you feel a small sense of freedom and relief. Do you plan on any further discussion with him (them) if they seem open to it?

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On 4/13/2022 at 1:41 PM, Hannah Renee said:

He closed with, "Take care, my brother..."

Probably not worth mentioning to him that it's now (and hopefully in a few months will be legally) SISTER.

I have an old colleague friend of mine that refuses to call me anything but my male birth name in emails, on the phone, and in person. I’ve known him for over 32 years so he is very set in his ways. It bothered me enough (especially with him in public) to politely ask him to please call me by my correct legal name or refrain from using any name at all. What did he do? He began calling me by my last name😙. Some people never learn and so I think you might be right…not worth mentioning it.

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I am reminded of that wonderful bit by Victor Borge (if you haven't heard it, it's worth finding) "My father always called me "Borge" - he couldn't remember my name!"

 

At school we were called by our last names by the teachers, and sometimes even by our friends. (It was only years later that I discovered the first name of one of them!) So I would be totally happy if someone referred to me only by my last name - at least it's accurate!

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4 hours ago, Susan R said:

I have an old colleague friend of mine that refuses to call me anything but my male birth name in emails, on the phone, and in person. I’ve known him for over 32 years so he is very set in his ways. It bothered me enough (especially with him in public) to politely ask him to please call me by my correct legal name or refrain from using any name at all. What did he do? He began calling me by my last name😙. Some people never learn and so I think you might be right…not worth mentioning it.

Lord! This is familiar. For what it's worth, Hannah, it takes time. LOTS of time. Like @Susan R, I have a friend whom I've known since 1988 who is closer to me than my own blood kin. He and wife are the first people I came out to almost two years ago. He still sometimes slips and uses male pronouns when talking to me, but thankfully he always uses my correct name. I let it slide because of who he is and our friendship. (shrug) Sometimes, that's all you can do. In an odd (?) aside, his wife has from the time I came out to them, used the appropriate pronouns and called me by my name as opposed to my previous one. SHe's thrilled to have a sister and so am I. It makes the words of that great southern philosopher and singer Billy Currington come to mind: "God is great. Beer is good and people are crazy." Truer words were never spoken.

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