Do I give a heads-up to neighbors?

[Richelle]

I’m planning to go full time when I return from vacation in mid-May, during which I will be totally myself.

 

I live on a boat with my wife in a marina in Daytona Beach. There are forty other boats on our dock and we’re close to only a couple of our neighbors, whom I plan to speak with before we leave.  Everyone else are only around occasionally and we do little more than great each other when walking by.

 

I’ve read many of the coming out letters here and was drafting my own heads-up letter when my therapist discouraged me from doing so.  I’ve given this a lot of thought and just can’t decide, letter or no letter.

 

[VickySGV]

My dad lived in a marina here in So. Calif for 25 years before he and the boat both started falling apart, and in that culture, I would pass on the coming out letter as my recommendation along with your therapist.  Let the dockmaster's office know of your changed official ID and that will be all really needed. As long as you are not raiding a dock box or shifting the lines on their boat, no one really notices you. If you are part of a Yacht Club there and are good friends to the members, then I would tell them and maybe offer to help sponsor a "Getting To Know You" hot dog and hamburger barbecue sometime in June when the emphasis is on the party and not on you directly.  That is a situation where your boating talk triumphs over what you look like and who you go by.

[Mandy Cooper]

I'd agree with @VickySGV, I've never lived in a marina, so can't comment from that viewpoint. But if you send a letter to neighbors you don't know, are they even going to read it ? In my experience, probably not. So if you don't at least know their name, then I wouldn't send them a letter. Just like I wouldn't send a letter to staff at a coffee shop I frequented. 

[KathyLauren]

I live in a harbour village, but I don't live on a boat.  There is a small coffee group that meets weekly, and I told them in person, because they are people that I socialize with regularly. 

 

Had I not been in that group, I would only have told one or two people that I felt close to.  It was the social contact that determined whom I told, not where they lived.  I definitely would not have written a letter.  If they knew me well enough to be told, they knew me well enough to hear it directly from my mouth.

[Charlize]

I wouldn't send out a written notice there any more than i would have in my small town community.  I simply went around doing my daily chores and speaking to individuals.  The drums and smoke signals soon traveled faster than i could and whatever gossip took place quietly so that soon all that needed to know figured out who the new (beautiful😄) woman was.  In the meantime i had a chance to develop a closer relationship to many folks.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Delcina B]

I'm smiling while reading this, not at your question Richelle, but at how it went for me. I didn't send out a letter, but I don't think the outcome would have been very different. My wife & I are separated, but I go to the house daily during the week to homeschool our granddaughters. The neighbor across the street is the self appointed "town crier," & as he is retired he spends a fair amount of time at home. It didn't take long for the word to get out once I started presenting a little more femme than androgynous. 

 

Whatever you decide I think it'll work out.

 

Hugs!

Delcina

[Jamieleann]

On 4/11/2022 at 2:09 PM, Richelle said:

I’m planning to go full time when I return from vacation in mid-May, during which I will be totally myself.

 

I live on a boat with my wife in a marina in Daytona Beach. There are forty other boats on our dock and we’re close to only a couple of our neighbors, whom I plan to speak with before we leave.  Everyone else are only around occasionally and we do little more than great each other when walking by.

 

I’ve read many of the coming out letters here and was drafting my own heads-up letter when my therapist discouraged me from doing so.  I’ve given this a lot of thought and just can’t decide, letter or no letter.

 

My therapist told me the same thing that I really didn’t need to explain to people about my self my therapist gave me this quote in case I ever had verbal conflicts with anyone. Self care is not arguing with people who are committed to misunderstanding you. 

[Jamieleann]

2 minutes ago, Jamieleann said:

My therapist told me the same thing that I really didn’t need to explain to people about my self my therapist gave me this quote in case I ever had verbal conflicts with anyone. Self care is not arguing with people who are committed to misunderstanding you. 

Good luck and congrats on going full time