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I finally get to be me!


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Hello all, I am new here, I am going by Nat right now as I have not settled on my new name yet but have decided it will be Natalia or Natasha. Nat seems to suit me , I believe my pronouns are she/her, it feels the most correct in my head. I was assigned male at birth and it has been torture froma a very young age. My girlfriend of 10 years knew from the beginning about my feminine side and my crossdressing, she has always been accepting and loving about it. I recently came to the conclusion that I can't live male anymore. I had a very loving and sincere conversation with my girlfriend and she is as always loving and supporting. She did lovingly recommend that I get some mental help before beginning transition as I have struggled with both anxiety and depression alot lately, I have started therapy for the first time in my life and honestly between that and my new future I have to look forward to I am so happy for the first time in a long time! My dear girlfriend also recommended I find a support group but since there don't seem to be any in Trenton,SC or nearby, to the internet I turned and found transpules. I am looking for support and some friends outside of my gf I have very little support or friends for that matter.  I am so excited and have even had trouble sleeping lately because I am so anxious to begin hormones, it feels like a dream and keep finding myself worried I will suddenly wake up. I look forward to getting to know this place!

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Welcome to TransPulseForums Nat,


 I agree with your girlfriend about you seeing a gender therapist, as you transition.  I hope you find as much helpful information here as I do, and there are some threads that are also entertaining. 

Best wishes, stay positive, and safe,



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Hi Nat, Welcome to the forums.

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Welcome Nat! Glad you're here. Happy for you, especially that your girlfriend is so supportive. The beginning to accept & explore my femme brought a lot of emotions, being anxious and excited were definitely two of them. I hope you find the wonderful support, advice & acceptance here as I have.




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Wow, my story is so similar! I can totally relate! I am new here as well. So similar, although I am married and my wife is not really on board. When I started hormones everything changed.  It was like my brain had wires all crossed up and they were unplugged and put back the right way! All the anxiaty, brain babble and static just seemed to slowly dissapate n fade away and I felt like me. I was comfortable in my own skin for the first time. Wishing you all the best going forward. I am looking for friendship and support and just people who get me, accept me, and dont judge me! Lots of love Marka

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi Nat,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here.


Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf🐾

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  • Forum Moderator
On 4/30/2022 at 4:25 PM, Natnewgirl said:

I recently came to the conclusion that I can't live male anymore.

Welcome @Natnewgirl. It’s a pleasure to meet you and I’m glad you found us. You are among friends and supporters here. The same conclusion as you shared above has come to so many here, including yours truly. I fought it for a lifetime and finally realized it was futile to live as others thought I should just to make them happy.


I’m glad that you have your girlfriend as a close supporter and ally. That is such a bonus and will help you in times of need. As mentioned, counseling can really help too…especially if you’re honest with your therapist, do all the work and apply what you’ve learned to your life. It helped me work through many issues and ultimately I learned much about myself. During this early part of a journey, it can keep you in the right mindset, help you work through difficulties and open up new perspectives on so many things. It’s nice to see that you’re working toward living authentically. I wish you the very best on your continuing journey and I hope to read more about it as time moves forward.


Warmest Regards,

Susan R🌷

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  • 4 weeks later...

Welcome! I'm happy you have a supportive girlfriend!

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Thank you all for the welcome sorry I am just now getting back on here. The past few weeks have been kinda of a blur.

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      There is some really helpful information to unpackage there. I think I'm going to try building my cv again from scratch and see how much information I have, then look into what resources are available in my area (if any).   Thank you both so much.   May I follow up with a few more questions, if you don't mind?   Do you believe it would be plausible to start a fresh cv citing that I have prior employment history within x line of work, that I'm not able to reveal due to a former abuser?  Obviously not an approach I want to use, but a significant chunk of my work history and certifications are out of my reach.   What would be the best way to go about explaining a seemingly late start in employment history if I went to an employer over here on a trial or volunteer basis to get experience to start my cv fresh, deliberately omiting my prior employment history and qualifications?   (sorry this seems a little vague but part of my former employment is very identifying, despite not being able to recall the employer well)
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      @SheenaTHave you thought about perhaps a necklace that would hide well enough under your shirts, or perhaps a skin-toned polish on your toenails? I did that for a while before my wife and I separated.
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      Used to be, I only saw shades of black, gray, tan, some red. Since realizing who I really am, I've discovered so many new colors, I need my daughter's help figuring out what goes with what. Never paid purple any mind, except when my older daughter wanted that for her bedroom walls. Now I'm sitting here wearing a lavender skirt. Heavenly.
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