Therapist thinks I should consider HRT

[Guest]

After a few months therapy, my therapist thinks I should talk to my endocrinologist about starting HRT. I'm still a bit apprehensive on this issue. He thinks it would help a great deal with my depression issues and (as one would expect) dysphoria. I worry about the changes being permanent and the one hundred "what if" scenarios that run through my head. I honestly do think it would help in many respects, but it's important I'm not out with family or at work. My support group tells me the changes aren't that quick and I'll know if I feel better on it fairly quickly. Obviously, no one can make this decision for me and nor should they, but I would appreciate any advice you might have.

[VickySGV]

i am a good example of the emotional improvement well before the physical improvements.  I know some therapists who actually use HRT as part of the diagnostic panel that they give their patients.  I also have close friends who have found out that HRT is NOT for them, although they still live 24/7 as their preferred gender after years with no problems from their communities.  I was on HRT from 07/2009 until 08/2011 before I went full time and aside from one "PMS" like session with a woman at work who did not know about my Transitioning at the time, it made no difference at my work where I retired in July 2011.  I had come out by then and used it to explain my timing of the retirement after 33 years.

 

The Standards of Care 7 have some charts in them that show that onset of physical changes take 3 to 6 months to get in gear, and three to six years to wrap up, so yes, you have plenty of time to think about how they are affecting you once you start.  You will know in a short period if the HRT is right for you, long before you friends and enemies --err -- relatives twig onto it.

[Astrid]

I would advise you to work through this on your own timeframe.  If you're not out with family, are we talking immediate family who live with you (such as a spouse or children), or relatives who do not currently live with you, such as parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins?  That makes a big difference.

 

I'm at the 2 1/2 year mark of HRT and, yes, it can indeed positively affect depression and dysphoria.  But if you ultimately need to hide its effects, you'll be trading one kind of stress for another.  

 

It's not uncommon to have doubts about HRT. As @VickySGV states, plenty of people discontinue HRT after some period of time, for various reasons.  You can request to start with low dosages (as I did); regardless, your endocrinologist/doctor will closely monitor your hormone levels. 

 

You may find that HRT really improves your mental state. You may find some middle ground where at times, you can be more femme, and at other times, wear baggy shirts to mask chest growth.  

 

Best wishes as you work toward this decision and other milestones on your journey,

 

Astrid

[Guest]

@Astrid I live with my mother as I am disabled. Which is not ideal to begin with, but life. I honestly have no idea how anyone would take it in my family. They may not even be surprised. It's not really about hiding. My big ass mouth wouldn't let me stay in the closet being gay (or so I thought at the time!) in the early 90's, it isn't likely going to stay shut about this in the here and now. Still, this is the only place I can live at the moment. 

 

I think I just resent feeling like I have no agency in anything in my life. That and living as a man has given me commitment issues.  I've always been bad with change. One day I'll get it right.

 

@VickySGV I downloaded the standard of care and will read it in short order. I will discuss it with my endocrinologist. I don't have to decide then and there. So, no harm, no foul. 

 

Thanks both of you for your insight.