Excited, but also scared

[LearningWhoIAm]

I've gotten a referral to meet with a therapist who has experience with the LGBTQIA+ community. While I'm excited to meet her and to start working on myself, I'm also admittedly hesitant. 

I had tried therapy several years ago after a traumatic event, and that therapist was not a good fit for me. She had a very narrow worldview and it felt like she didn't even listen to me. I stopped seeing her after four sessions and I felt like she'd damaged my progress rather than helped me. 

I know that not every therapist is the same, but I'm worried that my feelings will be invalidated or that she won't take me seriously. I haven't even met her, but my brain is already trying to judge her. Any advice? 

[Fly2188]

I just made my first appointment too 😀. No advice to offer, but I hope you have a good experience. Know that there are others doing the same thing. 

[LearningWhoIAm]

10 hours ago, Hannah Renee said:

I've been there, with therapists with the narrow worldview. Hard to develop trust. I had the same fears two years ago,when I started my search. If you've found one who has experience, especially working with transgender, I'd say it's worth a try. 

Thank you Hannah! I'm hoping for the best. 

[LearningWhoIAm]

7 hours ago, Fly2188 said:

I just made my first appointment too 😀. No advice to offer, but I hope you have a good experience. Know that there are others doing the same thing. 

Wishing you the best too! Thank you!

[Susan R]

10 hours ago, LearningWhoIAm said:

I know that not every therapist is the same, but I'm worried that my feelings will be invalidated or that she won't take me seriously. I haven't even met her, but my brain is already trying to judge her. Any advice?

Before going into this first session remind yourself to always give people the benefit of the doubt because there are good people out there. You don’t want to be like those who judge us based on our appearance, presentation, roles, beliefs, or sexual orientation.
 

In every trade, profession, and job there are people that are only there for a paycheck and couldn’t care less about how good they are at their position or whether they are positively affecting others. These people are a minority and the chances are good you’ll get someone better suited second time around. Let’s hope for that!

 

Best of Luck,

Susan R🌷

[LearningWhoIAm]

3 minutes ago, Susan R said:

In every trade, profession, and job there are people that are only there for a paycheck and couldn’t care less about how good they are at their position or whether they are positively affecting others. These people are a minority and the chances are good you’ll get someone better suited second time around. Let’s hope for that!

 

Best of Luck,

Susan R🌷

Thank you for your kind words Susan!

[Mary]

Remember, there is no therapist who is right for everyone who walks in through their door. Your personalities must mesh. They might be the best in the world, but just not for you.

 

If you are not comfortable with the person, you can even ask them for a referral elsewhere - a half-decent therapist will have experienced this before, and will not take it personally.

 

It is essential that you feel comfortable and safe with that person. I have certainly left a therapist's office and not gone back, and I have previously been with someone who was fine for my issues at the time, but I don't think is a good fit now, and so have gone elsewhere. Don't be shy, and don't make excuses. It's your health that is the most important, not whether or not you hurt someone's feelings. Somewhere there is a therapist right for you - if not this one (and hopefully she will be the right one) - then someone else.

[LearningWhoIAm]

6 hours ago, Mary said:

Don't be shy, and don't make excuses. It's your health that is the most important, not whether or not you hurt someone's feelings. Somewhere there is a therapist right for you - if not this one (and hopefully she will be the right one) - then someone else.

Thank you do much for your supportive words Mary!

[DeeDee]

@LearningWhoIAm The first few sessions are a trust exercise where both of you set and agree to the boundaries and expectations. Mary is right in that no one person can gel with everyone, but you can ask about your therapists experience when it comes to exploring lgbt issues without being too personal. Hope it all works out for you!  

[LearningWhoIAm]

1 minute ago, DeeDee said:

@LearningWhoIAm The first few sessions are a trust exercise where both of you set and agree to the boundaries and expectations. Mary is right in that no one person can gel with everyone, but you can ask about your therapists experience when it comes to exploring lgbt issues without being too personal. Hope it all works out for you!  

Thank you DeeDee! I have hope that this therapist will be better than my last one.