Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Shopping


DawnD

Recommended Posts

So over the last few years my acceptance of who I am, and my openess with myself has grown.  I have accepted that inside I am a woman however, I am still deep in the closet. I am nowhere near ready to come out yet. During the work day I am in guy mode, with the exception of panties. I have worn them 24/7, for the last two years. As soon as I get home, it is strictly girl mode unless I need to leave the apartment.

 

I have always wanted to shop for clothes in person, including trying them on. I view this as the next step. I dare not do anything around here, too much risk of being caught. However I am being sent out for training in a few weeks. It will be a long drive. Once I was far enough a way from home my thought was to stop and give it a try. I don't know when I will get a opportunity like this again. My first thought was find a Torrid, I have read good things, but their prices are too steep I don't think I would be able to get more than a single item.  I would like to do it at a Goodwill, I can get a boatload for a little dough. My question are they generally friendly to transgender(I will be in boy mode) people? Should I call and ask if it's permissible to try on things? Any other advise. I can be choosy and call a few different ones.

 

Thanks,

 

Dawn

Link to comment

Goodwill is definitely worth trying.

 

Keep in mind that some chain stores like Penneys and Kohls have unmonitored changing rooms, which means you can try on whatever you like without oversight. And you'll need to try many styles and sizes in different brands to see what fits.

 

Don't worry about checkout. Cashiers are there to ring up the sale, not ask questions.

 

I find clearance racks to be great fun, sometimes you can find gems.

 

You'll find it a fun experience, I'm sure, once you've done it a few times!

 

Astrid 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
38 minutes ago, DawnD said:

During the work day I am in guy mode, with the exception of panties. I have worn them 24/7

@DawnD This was the almost exact same routine I went through to combat my gender dysphoria back in my 20’s (c.1980’s) for a little over a decade before my marriage.

 

38 minutes ago, DawnD said:

I would like to do it at a Goodwill, I can get a boatload for a little dough. My question are they generally friendly to transgender(I will be in boy mode) people?

During this time, I shopped at Goodwill and Value Village (a very similar store). Both of which are very popular where I live out here in the Pacific NW. Back then, I began by shopping presenting male and I brought a lady friend of mine who knew of my proclivity with me. I had no issues at all shopping but I did always try to use a female cashier due to my insecurity early on. I was treated with the same respect. Some of the cashiers thought the clothes were for her and a few knew they were not. It didn’t seem to matter to any of them.

 

38 minutes ago, DawnD said:

Should I call and ask if it's permissible to try on things?

They really don’t care. They are there to make a few dollars and facilitate sales. It shouldn’t be an issue especially if you show a little confidence that as a customer, it’s you they should be trying to please. The only reaction I ever received from a cashier or floor employee that knew who the clothes were for was they became a little more quiet than usual. Overall, it was a non-factor.

 

Not too long after that shopping in male mode, maybe 6 weeks, I had been going out in public as a female with other trans friends. I decided to start shopping in full female presentation. Also, I felt like it was just too much bother to keep asking my lady friend to tag along every time I wanted something new to wear. In reality, I think I went a little crazy and just started shopping like crazy but I digress.

 

IMHO, It really helps to smile as you’re checking out. It sets the tone for your upcoming transaction. Try it even if your  nervous because it usually helps to set the cashier at ease if they are a little uneasy or don’t know what to say. One tiny smile goes a long way.

 

Good luck and have fun with the shopping.

Susan R🌷

Link to comment

Happy shopping, Dawn! I've found Goodwill even here in the South, NW Florida to be friendly. Before my hair grew out, I wanted a wig. I think I told the salesperson two, or three times it was for my wife. She must have known better, because she made sure I understood how to trim the mesh. So silly! Smile & enjoy yourself!

 

Hugs!

Delcina

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

One of the great things about goodwill type stores is that you can get bags of clothing for little investment.  Doing this allowed me to find not only my size but a style i enjoyed.  Being out of town opens many doors!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Hi Dawn!

 

Thanks for bringing up shopping.  While I bristle at gender cliches, I LOVE shopping and am more than happy to completely embody that stereotype.  At first (okay for the last 40 years), I was SO nervous even looking at the... gasp "Woman's section" (BTW they don't label the pant section "Men's section" I will add) and I live in a very small town, so I got a few "oh you'll look really nice in that" said in a smart aleck way by people I've known for a long time, but I was determined to not let them get to me, so I came up with a plan to have a prepared defusing statement ready, so they wouldn't ruin my enjoyment...  I decided that my response would be "Thanks" said with a straight face, just that simple, and so far that has been all it took, they just don't know where to go from there.  My point is, it REALLY feels like it's a super big deal at first, and at least with me, after I faced the anxiety and fear head on, I wondered why I had been so worried in the first place (and a little sad that it took me SO long to just say "F" it and embrace the experience.  In reality, it's just clothes that are for sale.  The seller wants to sell them to whoever will pay the money.  Other shoppers can be a little judgy at times, but some are super polite and when you get one who is helpful or even complementary, oh the euphoria can really help you through a lot of dysphoria IMHO.   

 

Also keep in mind that there are A LOT of great 2nd hand vintage stores (you can google for these in a given area) besides Good Will and sometimes they do a better job of separating the shaft out before hand, yes you might pay a little more, but sometimes it can really be worth it.  I've kinda found that these kinds of stores seem to be pretty liberal minded in the first place and I'm always encourage when I see an "all are welcome here" on the front window or door.  I've found some really great clothes and accessories in antique stores as well.  I've now learned the hard way to get over the fear of trying things on, because nothing is worse than buying something and thinking how great it is going to be, and then getting it home and DANG that's not going to fit, then trying to figure out if I'm brave enough to return something I was a little nervous buying in the first place (plus most GW and 2nd hand stores have a no return policy).  So it's your money, your time and your choice of what you want to wear, not anyone else's.  I'm hoping you can slowly embrace the joy and take some big breathes and let yourself get use to being yourself while participating in one of the great pleasures of showing the world your true self.  

 

Thanks for letting me ramble on about shopping!  (I didn't know if I was going to be able to stop myself ;) ).

Ertha

Link to comment

My go to store has always been Kohl’s. The fitting rooms are unattended so there’s no one looking at what you are bringing in.  I also find a lot of good deals on the sale or close out racks.

 

With COVID I began using Amazon. But delivery and and returns could be an issue depending on your situation.

 

As has been said, the staff is there to serve and sell you items, not judge what you’re purchasing. The more you shop the more comfortable you will be.

Link to comment

Dawn, shopping is without question, one of my favorite past times.  I shop in both modes (boy and girl) and have never had an issue buying women's clothing in either, although I much prefer shopping as Sally.  I have acquired a few things at places like Goodwill and Salvation Army, but I have been quite successful finding great bargains from department store sale racks.  Those racks are where I get most of my clothes and I have never paid anything close to retail.  You do have to be willing to search deep into the sale racks, however, to find the best bargains.

 

Take the opportunity to shop when you can and enjoy it.  It is so much fun.  

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   1 Member, 0 Anonymous, 41 Guests (See full list)

    • DeeDee
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      76.5k
    • Total Posts
      717.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      9,496
    • Most Online
      8,356

    LauraMarie
    Newest Member
    LauraMarie
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Shawnster
      Shawnster
      (52 years old)
  • Posts

    • Carolyn Marie
      Welcome to Trans Pulse, Jen.  Glad you're here, and please let us know what questions you have and how we can help and support you.   HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      Welcome to Trans Pulse, LauraMarie.  I'm sure we can learn as much from you as you can from any of us.  You are a pioneer!  Congrats on your long marriage, too.  We welcome your contributions to these forums.   HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • Zelaire
      I really liked that, Ticket! Now I'm looking up more of her music...
    • Zelaire
      I waver and waffle, but I usually wind up on the right side of the hill by the end. I suppose it's a combination of letting myself feel the feelings, then taking steps to move forward. Sometimes it's journaling about my feelings and tracking them back and forth in words. Sometimes it's having a conversation with a friend or my wife. Sometimes it's a nap. When things are really bad, I think of my wife and kids and how much I love them and how I would march through fire for them.
    • Zelaire
      Welcome, LauraMarie! 😊
    • Delcina B
      Welcome Laura Marie! Glad you're here. I stopped to think what my life was like in 1992. It wasn't transitioning, I was deep in the corner of a dark closet, with a lot of self hate & denial. How did you come to accept you as you? Was there any support?   Hugs! Delcina 
    • CD Rachel
      I am having a difficult time with this hiding. So I think I am going to start pushing my boundaries. This week I came out to a friend at work. He is supportive and told me he is available if I need to talk. I then spoke to my brother and he and his wife now know. They both told me that they still love me and though they do not understand that this is about my happiness and they want me to be happy. I plan on talking to my sister soon. Then the hard part will be talking to my son, he worries me the most but this must be done. Then i will start to look at work. I would like to be full time by the end of this summer.   Done hiding!    ~Rachel 
    • Delcina B
      Welcome Jen! Glad you're here. Hope you find the wonderful support, advice & acceptance here as I have.   Hugs! Delcina
    • KymmieL
      Well had a good feeling today. Our apt is about 50 yrds from the parking lot. It is a PIA. SO today I am walking out to do some work on the wagon. Get her ready for the road trip tomorrow.   I notice that my pony tail is bouncing as I walked. Just like a girls does. I made me feel great.   Kymmie
    • LauraMarie
      Same here! 
    • Artpetal
      Hi it's nice to meet you
    • Artpetal
      I'm naturally a happy person and it's only the bad things that have made me more timid over the years. It's easy to be happy and it's difficult (with a -cult) to be upset...
    • Jandi
      Of course. IMG_0414.HEIC
    • Jani
      Knowing that I am stronger than all the crap thrown at me over my lifetime.  
    • Hannah Renee
      I forgot to mention. Second day on my new job. Yesterday was all paperwork, today was all over the plant. Introduced to everyone as Hannah, and she this, her that. So awesome. Then I found out that my name badge can't have Hannah on it until I legally change my name. Not what I was initially told.😟 It actually didn't hit me all that hard at first, until I was introduced to a couple of folks in the same job who had their name badges hanging on their shirt pockets. Got kinda triggered.😬
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...