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So over the last few years my acceptance of who I am, and my openess with myself has grown.  I have accepted that inside I am a woman however, I am still deep in the closet. I am nowhere near ready to come out yet. During the work day I am in guy mode, with the exception of panties. I have worn them 24/7, for the last two years. As soon as I get home, it is strictly girl mode unless I need to leave the apartment.


I have always wanted to shop for clothes in person, including trying them on. I view this as the next step. I dare not do anything around here, too much risk of being caught. However I am being sent out for training in a few weeks. It will be a long drive. Once I was far enough a way from home my thought was to stop and give it a try. I don't know when I will get a opportunity like this again. My first thought was find a Torrid, I have read good things, but their prices are too steep I don't think I would be able to get more than a single item.  I would like to do it at a Goodwill, I can get a boatload for a little dough. My question are they generally friendly to transgender(I will be in boy mode) people? Should I call and ask if it's permissible to try on things? Any other advise. I can be choosy and call a few different ones.





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Goodwill is definitely worth trying.


Keep in mind that some chain stores like Penneys and Kohls have unmonitored changing rooms, which means you can try on whatever you like without oversight. And you'll need to try many styles and sizes in different brands to see what fits.


Don't worry about checkout. Cashiers are there to ring up the sale, not ask questions.


I find clearance racks to be great fun, sometimes you can find gems.


You'll find it a fun experience, I'm sure, once you've done it a few times!



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38 minutes ago, DawnD said:

During the work day I am in guy mode, with the exception of panties. I have worn them 24/7

@DawnD This was the almost exact same routine I went through to combat my gender dysphoria back in my 20’s (c.1980’s) for a little over a decade before my marriage.


38 minutes ago, DawnD said:

I would like to do it at a Goodwill, I can get a boatload for a little dough. My question are they generally friendly to transgender(I will be in boy mode) people?

During this time, I shopped at Goodwill and Value Village (a very similar store). Both of which are very popular where I live out here in the Pacific NW. Back then, I began by shopping presenting male and I brought a lady friend of mine who knew of my proclivity with me. I had no issues at all shopping but I did always try to use a female cashier due to my insecurity early on. I was treated with the same respect. Some of the cashiers thought the clothes were for her and a few knew they were not. It didn’t seem to matter to any of them.


38 minutes ago, DawnD said:

Should I call and ask if it's permissible to try on things?

They really don’t care. They are there to make a few dollars and facilitate sales. It shouldn’t be an issue especially if you show a little confidence that as a customer, it’s you they should be trying to please. The only reaction I ever received from a cashier or floor employee that knew who the clothes were for was they became a little more quiet than usual. Overall, it was a non-factor.


Not too long after that shopping in male mode, maybe 6 weeks, I had been going out in public as a female with other trans friends. I decided to start shopping in full female presentation. Also, I felt like it was just too much bother to keep asking my lady friend to tag along every time I wanted something new to wear. In reality, I think I went a little crazy and just started shopping like crazy but I digress.


IMHO, It really helps to smile as you’re checking out. It sets the tone for your upcoming transaction. Try it even if your  nervous because it usually helps to set the cashier at ease if they are a little uneasy or don’t know what to say. One tiny smile goes a long way.


Good luck and have fun with the shopping.

Susan R🌷

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Happy shopping, Dawn! I've found Goodwill even here in the South, NW Florida to be friendly. Before my hair grew out, I wanted a wig. I think I told the salesperson two, or three times it was for my wife. She must have known better, because she made sure I understood how to trim the mesh. So silly! Smile & enjoy yourself!




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One of the great things about goodwill type stores is that you can get bags of clothing for little investment.  Doing this allowed me to find not only my size but a style i enjoyed.  Being out of town opens many doors!





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Hi Dawn!


Thanks for bringing up shopping.  While I bristle at gender cliches, I LOVE shopping and am more than happy to completely embody that stereotype.  At first (okay for the last 40 years), I was SO nervous even looking at the... gasp "Woman's section" (BTW they don't label the pant section "Men's section" I will add) and I live in a very small town, so I got a few "oh you'll look really nice in that" said in a smart aleck way by people I've known for a long time, but I was determined to not let them get to me, so I came up with a plan to have a prepared defusing statement ready, so they wouldn't ruin my enjoyment...  I decided that my response would be "Thanks" said with a straight face, just that simple, and so far that has been all it took, they just don't know where to go from there.  My point is, it REALLY feels like it's a super big deal at first, and at least with me, after I faced the anxiety and fear head on, I wondered why I had been so worried in the first place (and a little sad that it took me SO long to just say "F" it and embrace the experience.  In reality, it's just clothes that are for sale.  The seller wants to sell them to whoever will pay the money.  Other shoppers can be a little judgy at times, but some are super polite and when you get one who is helpful or even complementary, oh the euphoria can really help you through a lot of dysphoria IMHO.   


Also keep in mind that there are A LOT of great 2nd hand vintage stores (you can google for these in a given area) besides Good Will and sometimes they do a better job of separating the shaft out before hand, yes you might pay a little more, but sometimes it can really be worth it.  I've kinda found that these kinds of stores seem to be pretty liberal minded in the first place and I'm always encourage when I see an "all are welcome here" on the front window or door.  I've found some really great clothes and accessories in antique stores as well.  I've now learned the hard way to get over the fear of trying things on, because nothing is worse than buying something and thinking how great it is going to be, and then getting it home and DANG that's not going to fit, then trying to figure out if I'm brave enough to return something I was a little nervous buying in the first place (plus most GW and 2nd hand stores have a no return policy).  So it's your money, your time and your choice of what you want to wear, not anyone else's.  I'm hoping you can slowly embrace the joy and take some big breathes and let yourself get use to being yourself while participating in one of the great pleasures of showing the world your true self.  


Thanks for letting me ramble on about shopping!  (I didn't know if I was going to be able to stop myself ;) ).


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My go to store has always been Kohl’s. The fitting rooms are unattended so there’s no one looking at what you are bringing in.  I also find a lot of good deals on the sale or close out racks.


With COVID I began using Amazon. But delivery and and returns could be an issue depending on your situation.


As has been said, the staff is there to serve and sell you items, not judge what you’re purchasing. The more you shop the more comfortable you will be.

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Dawn, shopping is without question, one of my favorite past times.  I shop in both modes (boy and girl) and have never had an issue buying women's clothing in either, although I much prefer shopping as Sally.  I have acquired a few things at places like Goodwill and Salvation Army, but I have been quite successful finding great bargains from department store sale racks.  Those racks are where I get most of my clothes and I have never paid anything close to retail.  You do have to be willing to search deep into the sale racks, however, to find the best bargains.


Take the opportunity to shop when you can and enjoy it.  It is so much fun.  

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