The need for microlabels...

[Cary]

As I've been exploring my gender ID, I've found some complexities have arisen, and I feel I can comfortably say I identify as trans and nonbinary, at this point. Yet, while I feel the nonbinary umbrella is simply easier for me to use in general conversation, it is encompasses a vast array of gender ID'S, some of which seem to be often be categorized as microlabels.

 

I don't necessarily feel the need to tell anyone and everyone I might run into how I really break down my identity at this point, but I did go digging into microlabels, because I felt I needed a detailed, solid understanding of how I can define myself, to myself. I hope that makes sense. If not, please forgive me, I have neuro disorders and I'm dissociating even as a write this. I actually don't know if any of this makes any sense at all.

 

Anyway, what I want to ask is, is there a general consensus about microlabels here? I have no idea. I feel like some of the gender identities I feel fit me well, need to be discussed so I can get a different perspective and idea of how others might understand them, but I really don't feel there is any other place I'm comfortable discussing them, at this point. And I don't want to offend anyone either, so I'm trying to be cautious, here, and not go into too much detail if it's not appropriate here. 

 

Can anyone kindly advise me on how to move forward here? Again, sorry if any of this is confusing or doesn't make sense. I'm in a bit of a confused state right now.

 

 

[Davie]

Thanks for asking, @Cary.

 

I identify to some extent as Trans Non-Binary . . . but I try to take the advice I've heard here on TP. To work on creating what's right for me, beyond the labels. It's more like creating a story for myself rather work under a label. To chat over coffee does not require me to have read your resume. I will learn about you in context of your own on-going life, not from the name on your lapel tag. It may not be that instantly satisfying, but it's far more interesting.

Enjoy the ride. Warning: all new roads have bumps.

 

— Davie

[Vidanjali]

17 hours ago, Cary said:

I felt I needed a detailed, solid understanding of how I can define myself, to myself... 

...is there a general consensus about microlabels here? 

 

That makes complete sense to me, @Cary . I usually don't tell people that I'm trans/nonbinary/possibly-trans-masc/asexual/panromantic/etc., but I have experienced personal affirmation exploring and identifying with microlabels because doing so has helped me to put more of the puzzle pieces of my past together so that I can increase my potential to experience life as a more integrated human now. For instance, understanding myself as panromantic has helped me to understand certain past behaviors, inclinations, and interactions which seemed most irregular, confusing, and distressing in the past - when I recall a thing that used to seem confounding, and am able to say, ooooohh, that's what that was, then I feel like I make more sense to myself. Moreover, through understanding identification with some microlabels I've experienced healing as I am able to construe certain past stressful experiences in the context of performance, overcompensation, or internalized phobia. 

 

I can't say whether there's a general consensus about microlabels within this community, but I dare say that there is a consensus that each of us should do whatever we feel in our hearts is right for us in order to be safe, healthy, and whole. 

[Cary]

@Davie and @Vidanjali,

Thank you both! I'm definitely running into some bumps, but feeling more and more like I'm understanding myself better, with a lot of introspection.

I don't necessarily feel like I need to go into all the details with everyone, but like you said, @Vidanjali , examining different labels is allowing me to put some different pieces together, both past and present, which is ultimately helping me to better see myself as a whole person and giving me an idea of the bigger picture that I'm looking at, too.

 

I'm sure once I get to know myself better, I'll settle down with all this hunting for labels, and I'll be more content. I guess I'm still kind of riding this high of actually getting to be me for the first time in my life. Circumstances in my life just never allowed for that before, even though I identified in other ways before, like identifying as bi in my teens (which I don't anymore..something else now. We just didn't have the language back then), but going back into the closet for years, just to survive, because my family threw me out, and where I was living I wouldn't have made it without others' help. And many of those "others" were, unfortunately, homophobic. (So I did a lot of "fake it to make it".)

 

I still went through most of my life in a dissociative state, not even realizing (until I ended up with a proper diagnosis after being hospitalized) I had developed DP/DR. Which is another reason it's really important for me to find my identity, because living in an alternate reality did nothing good for my mental health.

[Vidanjali]

I'm glad you're in a better place in your life now,  @Cary & I'm glad you're here. I'm sorry you experienced such rejection and hate. I also developed a dissociative disorder at a young age. I'm telling you so that you know there's someone who understands that. Mercifully, it rarely comes up these days - I'll be 47 next month, and it took a lot of work and self-examination to get here. I admire your determination to know and understand yourself better.

[Cary]

Thank you @Vidanjali,

I wouldn't wish a dissociative disorder on anyone, and I'm glad to hear it's letting up for you. It's nice to have someone who understands, though, because dissociation can be so isolating, especially during the worst days, so I appreciate you sharing that with me.

[Vidanjali]

1 hour ago, Cary said:

Thank you @Vidanjali,

I wouldn't wish a dissociative disorder on anyone, and I'm glad to hear it's letting up for you. It's nice to have someone who understands, though, because dissociation can be so isolating, especially during the worst days, so I appreciate you sharing that with me.

 

Indeed! Absolutely - my pleasure.