Worrying about GIC appointment

[Robin73]

Hi all,

I have my appointment with the Gender Identity Clinic coming up in July and I have been asked to write a narrative about the evolution of my gender ahead of the appointment.
I’m really hoping the outcome of the appointment will be a step towards hormone therapy.

I know it’s stupid, but I’m getting in a tis’ thinking that I might not write what I need them to hear!! I want to be honest, but I’m scared that I can’t say ‘I’ve always known I’m a girl’ or words to that effect. 
I only admitted how I feel to myself in the last couple of years and I’m worried this will result in some kind of ‘come back later’ response from the therapist.

Did any of you have similar thoughts and what was your experience?

I guess I’m looking for support and confirmation that honesty is the best policy!

Love,

Robin

X

 

 

[KathyLauren]

I haven't had that experience with the GICs in the UK, so I don't know for sure.  My understanding is that, if you can put up with the waiting lists, they are competent enough.

 

Don't worry too much about the "I always knew" cliche.  It is total B.S..  There are way more of us that only figured it out in adulthood than there are photogenic / newsworthy kids who always knew.  If you pretend that you always knew for the written account, it will trip you up on the interview.  Just tell them the way it was for you.

 

They will be looking for dysphoria that is "insistent, consistent, and persistent".  They don't need "early".  I didn't figure it out until I was in my 60s.  But my experiences, though I didn't understand them at the time, went way back to my childhood, and told them what they needed to hear.

[DeeDee]

Hi @Robin73 you have already received some good advice about what is being looked for. This isn't a, "how much can you prove?" exercise, this is a, "tell us in your own words why you're here" exercise. All those moments where you were jealous, or dressing, or felt out of place.. those are the things they want to get to know so they can refer you.  

The best advice I can give you is to just be open, honest, and try not to be defensive or in a hurry or they will invest their energy into finding out why. This is not a quick process, but use the wait times to your advantage.

I was so nervous I couldn't eat before my first GIC appointment and my sister came with me so I could be brave enough to attend even in boy mode 🤢, but I came out floating on air after having finally been able to talk to someone who could listen to me and tell me I wasn't mad. These days I look forward to spending a day out as myself when I go to the clinic. 😊👱‍♀️

[Heather Nicole]

Like you, I never had any innate conscious sense of being "in the wrong body" or "I just knew I was really a...[whatever]", either. (And at this point I have...strong, maybe somewhat mixed, feelings about the prevalence of that narrative...)

 

For me, I don't have any experience with UK's system, but out here in the states, both my gender therapist and my gender clinic (two separate organizations) asked for the same "in my own words" story you're being asked for. I was still somewhat questioning at the time, and what I did was just chronologically list all the various little "clues" I'd occasionally had peppered over my life. At least the ones I could remember offhand. Incidentally, I was shocked by just how much there really was, once I had them all swept up together in one pile! Anyway, fast-forward to now, I'm on HRT, and to date, I've never once encountered any hint of any issues resulting from what I'd written.

 

Like the others here have said, they're just looking to get to know you. And besides, if they specialize in gender stuff, and have enough clients to have a waiting list, then I would expect they're already well aware by now that the "I always just knew" narrative only applies to some of us. Heck, even a lot of cisgendered gay people don't always "just know" they're gay at puberty (I was actually pretty surprised when I first learned that! I found it very eye-opening.)

[miz miranda]

Just tell your story, there isn't a 'right' answer. Your journey is just that; your unique journey.  I am one of many who discovered gender identity issues later in life in my case at 64. It isn't really that uncommon.

 

As an American, I am not that familiar with the UK health care system. I recently started gender therapy after failing to commit three separate times. I verbally told the story you were asked for and had some written assignments on top of that. I have a good connection with my therapist and we are working through additional issues. Until I started therapy, I didn't realize how much dysphoria I was troubled with.

[Robin73]

On 5/31/2022 at 6:34 PM, KathyLauren said:

I haven't had that experience with the GICs in the UK, so I don't know for sure.  My understanding is that, if you can put up with the waiting lists, they are competent enough.

 

Don't worry too much about the "I always knew" cliche.  It is total B.S..  There are way more of us that only figured it out in adulthood than there are photogenic / newsworthy kids who always knew.  If you pretend that you always knew for the written account, it will trip you up on the interview.  Just tell them the way it was for you.

 

They will be looking for dysphoria that is "insistent, consistent, and persistent".  They don't need "early".  I didn't figure it out until I was in my 60s.  But my experiences, though I didn't understand them at the time, went way back to my childhood, and told them what they needed to hear.

Hey KathyLauren,

Thank you so much for responding. 
Since I’ve known, I reflect on so many things throughout my life that make sense now, so hopefully if I share those things with the therapist, it will help.

x

[Robin73]

On 5/31/2022 at 7:16 PM, DeeDee said:

Hi @Robin73 you have already received some good advice about what is being looked for. This isn't a, "how much can you prove?" exercise, this is a, "tell us in your own words why you're here" exercise. All those moments where you were jealous, or dressing, or felt out of place.. those are the things they want to get to know so they can refer you.  

The best advice I can give you is to just be open, honest, and try not to be defensive or in a hurry or they will invest their energy into finding out why. This is not a quick process, but use the wait times to your advantage.

I was so nervous I couldn't eat before my first GIC appointment and my sister came with me so I could be brave enough to attend even in boy mode 🤢, but I came out floating on air after having finally been able to talk to someone who could listen to me and tell me I wasn't mad. These days I look forward to spending a day out as myself when I go to the clinic. 😊👱‍♀️

DeeDee,

I really appreciate you sharing your experience with me. I’m super nervous already and it is still just over a month away!

Hoping to be floating on air afterwards too! 😊

X

[Robin73]

On 5/31/2022 at 7:58 PM, Heather Nicole said:

Like you, I never had any innate conscious sense of being "in the wrong body" or "I just knew I was really a...[whatever]", either. (And at this point I have...strong, maybe somewhat mixed, feelings about the prevalence of that narrative...)

 

For me, I don't have any experience with UK's system, but out here in the states, both my gender therapist and my gender clinic (two separate organizations) asked for the same "in my own words" story you're being asked for. I was still somewhat questioning at the time, and what I did was just chronologically list all the various little "clues" I'd occasionally had peppered over my life. At least the ones I could remember offhand. Incidentally, I was shocked by just how much there really was, once I had them all swept up together in one pile! Anyway, fast-forward to now, I'm on HRT, and to date, I've never once encountered any hint of any issues resulting from what I'd written.

 

Like the others here have said, they're just looking to get to know you. And besides, if they specialize in gender stuff, and have enough clients to have a waiting list, then I would expect they're already well aware by now that the "I always just knew" narrative only applies to some of us. Heck, even a lot of cisgendered gay people don't always "just know" they're gay at puberty (I was actually pretty surprised when I first learned that! I found it very eye-opening.)

Thank you so much HeatherNicole.

I am working on the chronological list. It seems a sensible way to approach the narrative.

I guess I am still ‘questioning’ too, so your comment has helped me feel more comfortable.

X
 

[Robin73]

On 5/31/2022 at 8:35 PM, miz miranda said:

Just tell your story, there isn't a 'right' answer. Your journey is just that; your unique journey.  I am one of many who discovered gender identity issues later in life in my case at 64. It isn't really that uncommon.

 

As an American, I am not that familiar with the UK health care system. I recently started gender therapy after failing to commit three separate times. I verbally told the story you were asked for and had some written assignments on top of that. I have a good connection with my therapist and we are working through additional issues. Until I started therapy, I didn't realize how much dysphoria I was troubled with.

Thank you Miz Miranda.

It’s totally helped me to hear you say there isn’t a ‘right’ answer. I really needed that.

I will definitely tell it like it is! 😊

X