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Preparing for Appointment Next Week


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I've got an appointment scheduled next week with a doctor who is supposed to be LGBT friendly.  Mostly to evaluate what exactly is going on with my body, and to what degree I'm intersex.  Not like I have any issues, but I just need to figure out who/what I am. 


So I got the pre-appointment paperwork to fill out, and there's a ton of questions.   Stuff I don't like.  They're asking me about my sexual activity, and I don't think they need to know that stuff.  Like, how many partners, whether we use protection.... just none of their business.  And if I answered the questions the way they ask them without providing context, they might get the wrong impression of me. 


Is this normal?  Should I go through with this? 

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I have no medical background of course, but I would think that those questions are probably just standard boilerplate for patients who are coming in because of symptoms they're experiencing. So that when the doctor is making a diagnosis, they have some idea how strongly to consider an STD as a diagnosis.


Since your visit isn't really related to anything like that, what I would probably do is just make sure to be clear somewhere on the form about the reason for your visit and that you'd prefer to decline answering those questions on the grounds that they're not related to the reason for your visit. Hopefully, that should be fine. May as well at least try. And if for some reason it doesn't work for them, well then you can decide what you want to do from there.

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Another possibility (and I feel like I'm channeling my mom with this one, lol. It's very much her style of advice) maybe you could call their office, and tell them that you're a new patient filling out their intake form but those particular questions don't seem relevant to your reason for visiting (no need necessarily to even go into what your actual reason is, or who you even are) and so, just like you said here, you'd prefer not to answer those questions if possible. And just see what they have to say.


Even if nothing else, it could at least help give you a sense about the "personality" of the clinic.

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@Heather Nicole  Thanks for the advice.  I tried to act on in this morning, but I ended up having my GF pretend to be me over the phone.  I'm such a chicken sometimes 🙄  At least I can get away without having to answer those questions directly, so that's good.  I just wrote diagonally across them "long term committed relationship."


Now I'm just nervous about the appointment.  I wish I could ask for some sort of sedative to reduce my anxiety.  Last time I went through the ObGyn stuff, the doctor had to do a portion of the exam while my GF held me in her lap.  I couldn't quit shaking. 

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1 hour ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

I tried to act on in this morning, but I ended up having my GF pretend to be me over the phone.  I'm such a chicken sometimes 🙄


I have a history of being the same way. At least you're in good company!


1 hour ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

Now I'm just nervous about the appointment.  I wish I could ask for some sort of sedative to reduce my anxiety.  Last time I went through the ObGyn stuff, the doctor had to do a portion of the exam while my GF held me in her lap.  I couldn't quit shaking. 


Ugh, nerves can be awful. My sedative of choice is chamomile tea. Not exactly very strong as sedative though. And tea might not be the best thing to load up on too much of right before an appointment! (Although I suppose there are worse ideas!)


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@Heather Nicole I think I'd probably need something stronger than chamomile tea 🙄  My appointment is tomorrow, and I'm stressed.  Not sure what the doctor is going to think of a 30+ year-old adult occupying a partner's lap for comfort and consolation.  Other doctors have seemed more than mildly astonished. 


Why are doctor's offices so COLD?  Sit there forever and freeze to death.  🥶

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On 6/27/2022 at 11:29 AM, Heather Nicole said:

I hope it goes well!


Stressful.  Turned out OK I guess, but it ended up being more than just 1 appointment. 

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