Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Natural transition


Emma De

Recommended Posts

Due to my depression my GP is not wanting to refer me for gender until my depression is reduced. I don't know if this is common?

 

So I am naturally transitioning with underdressing, dressing at home when I can, experimenting with make-up and grooming, growing hair (not easy as I am losing hair on top).

I have looked at diet, while trying to be healthy for foods that might help.

Loosing weight due to illness has impacted my boy and seems to have caused a drop in testosterone and some other changes. I mentioned this elsewhere, but don't feel this post is about this.

My body has changed dramatically, lose of muscle, tone and slimed down. All due to illness. I have stopped losing weight after 8 months, well at least over the last two to three weeks. So have others tried natural transitioning?  Any thoughts or advice? I feel my mind and brain are changing and accepting my life long self. I have not been in a good place and am still struggling. Trying to give myself permission to finally be me, and see the positives in what has happened and is happening. It often feels the only joy in life is this natural transition, but I may just be dreaming.

 

I hope this isn't too much or too challenging. I am so lucky to have a supporting wife.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
3 hours ago, Emma De said:

So I am naturally transitioning...

Doing so without going on HRT is common as not everyone can afford it or desires the physical changes.  Giving yourself permission is a big start.  Feeling good about oneself is important to health.  You're not dreaming.

 

Jani

Link to comment

It is my understanding that trans people have existed forever, even before medical transition was a thing. So of course you can do it.  

Surgery and even HRT are out of reach for many transfolx.  We do the best we can with what we have.

Link to comment
8 hours ago, Jani said:

Giving yourself permission is a big start.  Feeling good about oneself is important to health.  You're not dreaming.

@Jani Thank you, I will do what I can now and see where it leads me. Fighting depression and seeking happiness wher I have hoped for it for so many years.

 

Link to comment
8 hours ago, Jandi said:

It is my understanding that trans people have existed forever,

@Jandi Your reply just helps me realise how wrapped up in my little world I have become. Of course they have managed through much tougher times than I am. Perspective and reality. I can do what I can and still progress.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

So diet, clothes, mindset, attitude and openness are my focus currently.

 

Openness is the hardest for me. I am becoming more determined than ever. I am happiest when I am my true self. Just life has been tough recently and surviving has been the main aim. Living as myself is a mater of small steps and minor gains. When I walk through the shops I love everything feminine and would love to be locked in the shop overnight to try things on, that must be a thing that others have felt?  I have made the excuse that until I have shoes I can't go out dressed, but won't buy or order shoes. Partly my size 10 feet make this a challenge, but I have looked at several sites that cover my size. My depression and circumstances have limited opportunities recently and I really feel it when I haven't had a chance to be me. Summer and fashions dazzle me and I dream of a summer dress with sandles. I have grown my hair, mentioned elsewhere but with no style applied. Oh I have so far to go, but each tiny step and effort makes me smile, which is a miracle at this stage.

Link to comment

My wife and I are apart due to family issues at the moment and she sent me a Lush Relax present parcel. Bath bomb (never tried one before), special bubble bath, lotion and shower gel. I am going to try the shower gel tonight to relax before a hospital procedure tomorrow. I love my wife and am so lucky to have her on my side. Since coming out to her I have really enjoyed sharing my femininity with her. Her support and love make me cry every time. It makes it all feel more natural as I try to cope with who I am.

Link to comment

I love a nice long soak in the tub with bath oils.  Unfortunately I don't have the facilities for it at the moment.

 

You are lucky to have the support of your wife.  So many face rejection.

Link to comment

Hi Emma, I'm glad your wife is supportive and that you are doing what you can. 

I've just seen your original post and want to encourage you a little. The UK is a mixture of gatekeeping and informed consent and it seems to be potluck on how well informed the average GP is. 

Depression in itself is not enough to stop a referral to a gender clinic, but it would need to be "managed" so that you can prove that you do not wish to transition on a whim to escape an unhappy life. Whatever illness you have may also be a factor in their hesitancy. You can make another appointment once you feel more confident in fighting your corner. GP's do not know everything!

Once you see a gender specialist, they are far more likely to take the view that at least some of your depression is due to your gender dysphoria (correlation and causation), and it is actually an indicator that is looked for before agreeing to take things further medically, though of course not everyone can. 

Hope you enjoyed your relaxing soak in the tub!

 

Link to comment
8 hours ago, Jandi said:

You are lucky to have the support of your wife.

@Jandi Oh I am very lucky. Even if problems make us so far apart. Our new GP has shown more positivity recently, and I seem them later this month. It will be interesting as it is my first meeting with them. I am so much more open now.

 

Link to comment
6 hours ago, DeeDee said:

Hi Emma, I'm glad your wife is supportive and that you are doing what you can. 

I've just seen your original post and want to encourage you a little. The UK is a mixture of gatekeeping and informed consent and it seems to be potluck on how well informed the average GP is. 

Depression in itself is not enough to stop a referral to a gender clinic, but it would need to be "managed" so that you can prove that you do not wish to transition on a whim to escape an unhappy life. Whatever illness you have may also be a factor in their hesitancy. You can make another appointment once you feel more confident in fighting your corner. GP's do not know everything!

Once you see a gender specialist, they are far more likely to take the view that at least some of your depression is due to your gender dysphoria (correlation and causation), and it is actually an indicator that is looked for before agreeing to take things further medically, though of course not everyone can. 

Hope you enjoyed your relaxing soak in the tub!

 

What a long day. Thankfully all good and home safely but exhausted. Highlight of the day? Well inside I am female, but still present as male. I have been growing my hair and one nurse came to check on me in recovery and we had a little chat then as she left I am sure she said - "This lady is awake now." To colleague. I may have been dreaming, but that made my day, week and month. As I can't have been looking great in recovery but she saw me as I want to be seen. Maybe I am doing better than I thought. Just need to tick the gender box differently next time, maybe?

@DeeDeeThank you for your points, always helpful, I think and hope you are correct. The new GP seems more up to speed with Gender and dysphoria.

 

Lovely cool relaxing shower due to extreme heat. I have plans for bubbles and oils and lotions.

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...

Hey, Emma, glad things are working out for you now. I'm sure you're not the only one who dreamt of being locked over-night in a store, a situation reminiscent of From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler. Sometimes I wish time would stop so I could have a full perusal of all the books in a store. As long as you're around something you like, it's always worthwhile, right?

 

I'm also a person opting to transition naturally until the day comes I can start HRT. It can be a bit harrowing at first, but it's often a good first step to approach if you want to take hormones some day. I've transitioned naturally through the use of exercise, practice modifying my voice, changing my wardrobe slightly to reflect my desire of presentation, and consciously using my preferred name (and pronouns, if applicable) in social situations so the change is more comfortable. Doing this is entirely acceptable and gives you a test-run of what it would be like to be your preferred gender identity.

 

Go as far as you want and don't feel pressured to do too much too soon. I'm glad your wife is also accepting of your position. Even if it's just one person, this is enough to show you are valid. Keep progressing! 😁

Link to comment
On 8/8/2022 at 8:05 PM, Russ Fenrisson said:

Hey, Emma, glad things are working out for you now. I'm sure you're not the only one who dreamt of being locked over-night in a store, a situation reminiscent of From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler. Sometimes I wish time would stop so I could have a full perusal of all the books in a store. As long as you're around something you like, it's always worthwhile, right?

 

I'm also a person opting to transition naturally until the day comes I can start HRT. It can be a bit harrowing at first, but it's often a good first step to approach if you want to take hormones some day. I've transitioned naturally through the use of exercise, practice modifying my voice, changing my wardrobe slightly to reflect my desire of presentation, and consciously using my preferred name (and pronouns, if applicable) in social situations so the change is more comfortable. Doing this is entirely acceptable and gives you a test-run of what it would be like to be your preferred gender identity.

 

Go as far as you want and don't feel pressured to do too much too soon. I'm glad your wife is also accepting of your position. Even if it's just one person, this is enough to show you are valid. Keep progressing! 😁

@Russ FenrissonThank you so much for your kind words. More treatment tomorrow and I will also be getting a machine to help me medically. If it works then I look forward to seeing the changes. Things have to get worse to get better sometimes, it feels that the worst is winning, but as I keep telling myself the hope and optimism will win in the end. I just need the webb space telescope to be able to see that far at the moment.

 

I wish you well with your transition as well and the changes the body can make are amazing. HRT is a dream, and I start with a therapist in a couple of weeks, at last. Even if they will focus on the medical challenges, I will do my best to subvert it to my gender challenges as well.

 

Love, hope and optimism to all. For those who saw the Commonwealth games I was so pleased to see the LGBTQ+ presence and flag so prominent.

Link to comment

My shift toward my boy self has been mostly natural, although now I'm using T for some small changes.  I've been more or less androgynous for years.  I avoided girl clothes, slowly changed my hair from long-ish to an androgynous pixie cut.  A bit of muscle tone added to being naturally slim and curve-less works to my advantage.

 

I was passing as a boy long before a doctor took a look at me and gave me a prescription.  Since I'm starting with a female body, I'll probably look a bit young-ish for a long time.  Just see what you can do with what you have, and I think you'll be surprised at the progress.  And you have a supportive partner, which is awesome!

Link to comment

@awkward-yet-sweet I wish you well with your transition. Being able to look younger is a big benefit in the long run, but that may not be want you want and may show my bias in the other direction. It makes me smile when you celebrate the muscle tone and slim curve-less body while I have slimmed down, a lot, I also see my hips are more pronounced and my slim waist contrasts. If only I could get the tummy to not be where any little fat I have being deposited.

 

I know all about the inner me being the most important, but it is hard to avoid mirrors.

 

Make-up is still a new thing that I 'play' with when I get the chance, but find walking through the make-up aisles a thrill but too intimidating to shop in unless I have my wonderful ally with me. That just isn't possible at the moment. Not the most natural part of transitioning, but who said a girl isn't allowed a little help sometimes at home.

 

Summer and shorts with hairless legs is a joy, but the nicks and cuts are a pain. I must stop the tremors before trying to shave. I limit my use of creams following a memorable issue I wrote up elsewhere here. I have gone out with shorts on and now don't even worry so much about it any more. OK masking a little there, but trying to relax and be me.

 

Oh baby steps towards the future, but still not seeing a time when I can step out in anything other than androgynous looks but enjoying that. Still no idea what to do about my hair that when straight now reaches my shoulders. The natural curl is getting amazing now and I am learning to love it especially when it swishes around my neck. 

 

Best wishes to all and have a wonderful day. I have a major appointment today so hope the device will make life a little better that I am being fitted with today.

 

Link to comment

@Emma DeThank you and you're welcome. Great you're taking the big step forward! 👍 There will be a lot of things to get used to but soon, they'll start to come naturally. 

 

Yeah, that's the one thing I hate about shaving. I've started a schedule where I shave more in the summer to keep cool. It really helps when the heat picks up! I hate the accidental nicks and pricks but it's only once a week, so no biggie.

 

And about the make-up: if someone gives you a hard time, say that it's for a friend or a gift to someone. Make-up shouldn't be this selective thing for only a few people but if this helps to get rid of any possible trouble or stares, hopefully it'll help you to feel more confident purchasing it. Make-up can be a great thing and is a great way of expressing yourself creatively, allowing what's inside to come out. Whatever makes you feel good, you should be able to do it.

 

@awkward-yet-sweetAndrogyny seems the best way to go, and muscle-tone has a way of changing your body towards something more desirable. Because I've been working at it for so long, I look sort of like a teen-aged boy. 😅 Could be a good thing, could be a bad thing. I try to be forth-coming when questions about my age arise (if it happens at all), but it feels like those around me see me more as a "boy" than perhaps an androgynous "man." Being a "man" is my goal but I'm fine with being a "boy" for now.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 149 Guests (See full list)

    • Maddee
    • SamC
    • Vidanjali
    • violet r
    • MaryEllen
    • Evelyn J
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. l.demiurge
      l.demiurge
  • Posts

    • Maddee
    • KathyLauren
      One of our cats is polydactyl.  He has 7 toes on each front paw and 5 on each back paw, for 24 toes total.   Another one, an ex-feral who, at the time, was free to roam, climbed 50 feet up a tree without having any thought about how he was going to get down.  His pal climed down backwards, but he couldn't.  He ended up coming down by leaping from branch to branch.  Which nearly gave us heart attacks, because he only has one eye and therefore has no depth perception.   The other ex-feral (both are now indoor cats) obviously does not have those soft pads on his feet.  At night, when we are in bed, we can hear him stomping around the house.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The two o'clock Onshoring meeting was going well.  Taylor was leading, inviting other people up to speak on their specialties. Aerial photogrammetry and surveying, including the exact boundary, were out for contract signature  Gibson had handled that - Manufacturing was supposed to, but somehow hadn't happened.  Legal issues from Legal. Accounting reported on current costs, including all upkeep, guard salaries, etc.  Manufacturing was supposed to give those numbers, but they hadn't.   The downside was the VP of Manufacturing.  He had arrived at the meeting red-faced, his tie askew, clutching a bottle. It smelled strongly of vodka. He had never done anything in his twenty years of being VP of Manufacturing, and he did not like being asked now.   "Mr. ----, do you have the inventory we asked for?" Taylor asked politely.  VP Gibson had asked him to have his people go through the plant and not only inventory but assess the operational status of every piece of equipment.  They needed to know what they had. "I'm not going to take any f---- orders from a g-d- tra---," he snarled. "God knows what kind of perverts it has dragged into our fair city and bangs every night." "That is completely out of line." That was Gibson.  Taylor controlled herself.  That was a shot at Bob, not just at Taylor.  She was glad Bob was not there to do something stupid.  Had Mrs. McCarthy been talking? What had she said?  Was she given to embellishment?  Taylor took a deep breath. "I'm not sorry.  You f--- can take this stupid onshoring --- and shove it up your -" "That is quite enough."  This was the head of HR. "You can take your sissy ways and sashay -" "You are fired." "You can't fire me." "Oh, yes I can," said the office manager.  The VP took another swig from his bottle. "Try it."  He looked uncertain. "I will have you removed.  Are you going to leave on your own?  I am calling the police to help you leave." And he dialed the number. He stomped out cursing. They heard him noisily go down the hall.  This was the front conference room.  He actually went through security and out the door, throwing his badge on the ground on his way.  The guard picked it up. They could see this through the glass wall. "Can you fire a VP?" "The Board told me that if anyone gives me problems they should be shown the door. Even a VP.  I can fire everyone here. I won't, of course. Those were problems." "Are you alright, Taylor?" She nodded.  "I've heard worse.  Shall we continue?" And they did.   The last item was that certain business people in China had been arrested, and the corporation that had been supporting them all these years had been dissolved.  They were on their own, and the Board was dead serious on straightening things out.  After this meeting, Taylor believed it.  She did not attend the meeting to discuss how to distribute the few duties the VP of Manufacturing had done.  That was ultimately up to the Board.    
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Lunch was at Cabaret, still free.  The place was quiet: it was the sort of place you took a business client to impress them, and the few other people were in business suits.  Most of the legal profession was there.   She told him of the morning's frustrations, breaking her own rule about confidentiality.  She asked Karen how the branding was going, and Karen had snapped back that she had not started on it yet - they had all these proposals.  Taylor had explained that it was important, for the two o'clock meeting, and Karen told her to do it herself.  Karen pointed out that Taylor could not touch her - her uncle was on the Board and her brother was VP of Manufacturing.  Nor would the two computer guys go out to the plant - they were playing some kind of MMORPG and simply not available. If she wanted the pictures, she should go.  Mary prayed an Ave Maria, but both she and Brenda were racing to get the proposal out. The client wanted it Friday for review.   She didn't bring up what Mrs. McCarthy had told her.  She wasn't sure how to approach it.  She thought of telling her of a 'something more comfortable' she had bought in case he ever DID show up at her door. It was in the bottom drawer of her dresser, ready to go.  Instead she talked about moving to a place with a garage.  Several of the abandoned houses had one, and they had been maintained well with China cash.   Bob had finally realized that when he was introduced as Bob, Taylor's boyfriend, that was just how things were done here. Other people had introduced each other in terms of family relationships, which were strong.  Long before you found out anything else about someone, you knew how they were related.  Family kept people from leaving Millville.    "What is the real name of this town, anyway?"   She laughed.  "I am trying to find that out.  It's 'Welcome to Millvale' when you come into town from the north, and 'Welcome to Millville' on the south.  I have counted two other variants."   "What a town. Roosevelt is like that, with the families, but there is only one spelling."  
    • Ashley0616
      Nothing wrong with that. I'm glad that you found what makes you happy! Just curious what does your wife think? If it's too personal I understand.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      – According to a recent survey, the most popular name for a dog is Max. Other popular names include Molly, Sam, Zach, and Maggie.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      Either new environment/ not potty trained
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Bob was on his way home from the dojo and he "just happened" to driver by her place. It was 10:30.  Her light was still on.  He knew exactly where she was sitting.  He saw her in his mind.   A fierce wave of desire that took his breath away suddenly showed up. All he had to do was stop, get out of the car, walk to the door and knock.  She would answer, glad to see him.  She would know why he was there and what he wanted. She would invite him in, maybe get him something to drink, disappear for a moment and return in "something more comfortable."  She would lead him back. Oh, joy.   And never, ever speak to him again afterwards.  Or she would not let him in but be angry about it.  In no way, emotionally, physically, mentally or spiritually, was she ready for this, and he knew it, if he was honest with himself, and she knew he knew it.  She would look upon it as another assault and their relationship would be irretrievably broken.  He would have to leave town. It would devastate her. It would devastate him.    He fought himself.  He was frozen to his seat as his reason and his body fought. He was twenty four years old, a full-blooded male with normal desires; he had just worked out and he was ready.  All he had to do now was open the car door. No one would know. He held his hands, one in the other, to keep one from moving, against his reason and will, to open that door.  He did not want to be a slave of his desires.   He looked across the street.  Mrs. McCarthy, sister of his landlord, was peeking though her window.  She knew his car.  Everyone in town would know by noon the next day if he got out of the car.  Taylor did not need that, either, and she would know, if he came to the door now, what a selfish thing it would be: in his own eyes, in the eyes of Taylor, in the eyes of the town, and worst of all, in the eyes of God.   He sat there a moment longer.  He was, as he reflected, entering into her sufferings in a small way that she would be made whole, healthy and happy: what he wanted more than anything.  But this hurt.  Why had all this come on her?  He asked God again, but there was only silence. He drove home in that silence. He chided himself for even going on her street and for driving on it other nights.  He would stop that, he told himself.   ------------------------------------------   The next morning Taylor went out to her car to go to work.  Mrs. McCarthy met her before she got to it. "I thought you were going to get lucky last night, dearie," she said. Taylor was puzzled. "Why, what do you mean?" "That young fellow - you know, Bob - he's been driving around here, going up and down the street some nights, not stopping.  Well, last night he parked and sat in his car for a while.   I think he was staring at your window.  I think he was trying to get up the courage to knock on the door. I was rooting for him.   But then he drove away.  Faint heart never won fair lady, as they say. What a shame. You two are a lovely couple.  Well, have a good day!" "Thank you, Mrs. McCarthy."  Taylor knew Bob extremely well and knew what had been going through his mind.  She was more than grateful he had not gotten out of the car. Better for him, better for her, better for everybody.  Surgery "down there" sooner than later.  This was driving the poor boy crazy. It was driving her crazy, too.  But she had a lot to work through. Surgery "up here" she said, pointing to her head.  She woke up her therapist on the way to work.  They were still talking when she pulled into her designated parking spot.  That was a perk that had happened yesterday.  She took a deep breath and headed into work. It would be another wild day.
    • Ashley0616
      bittersweet: especially : pleasure accompanied by suffering or regret
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I'm thinking about some interactions yesterday I did, while presenting as male but acting as female, that were far better than I did when I was presenting as male and acting as male.  #girlunderhood. I do a crappy job at acting as male and I am giving it up.  I am not talking about feminine gestures or presentation but just relating as a woman.  People don't realize I am doing it but it is a whole lot easier to do.   You don't just put on a dress and BOOM you are a girl.  You are a girl and you put on a dress.  Or not. Whether I am in jeans or a skirt (I wish, wife would have lots to say) I am a girl.  I don't need $250 in makeup and heels and hose and all that.  I don't need surgery. Honey, I have arrived.  Now I have to work out how that best works in my life, causing the minimal damage and creating the maximum good, but I have more working room.   Oh, and I am still pissed off at everyone and everything. #Contradictory.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      @Willow it is certainly possible that my husband planned it. Placing me in the path of an opportunity....he certainly does things like that. GF has done some work for the company as an outside consultant, so I'm sure the company owner knows what potential resources are around.    It could also have just happened randomly. He has taken me to work with him before, just because he likes to have me around. I remember one time that I fell asleep with my head in his lap, and he held a meeting with his subordinates without waking me and making me move.  The company culture is family oriented and relaxed.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The photo is great.  Software is phenomenal but it also is sort of a promise of things to come. Years ago this sort of thing took a photographer and Photoshop and all sorts of things and you would say, "I can look like THIS??"   Me, I am a duck.  That's from my driver's license.  Just kidding.
    • MaeBe
      I lucked into that picture. I took like 10 before that, which appropriately make me look like a donkey. ;)   Thank you so much for the compliment!
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...