Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Choosing a safe area to live tips please?


Concerned father

Recommended Posts

So guys, the Housing Navigator had told me a few days ago that she does have a few Transgenders clients living in safer areas here in NY but does not have availability right now in those specific areas. She had also suggested we look in a "Jewish" community or close to it, anyone can agree with this? 

 

Also any tips on all things we should consider when looking for a location and also an apartment please?

 

Just some months back a Gay man was beaten in an elevator with him having done absolutely nothing wrong. Right now, here in NY bigotry is at an all time high and so too is crime on the streets so you all can understand my fears.

Link to comment

Hi there. You mentioned in your intro post that your child is pursuing a bachelor's degree. Does the college offer housing? If it's a commuter college, there may be a network for student housing. Moreover, the college may have an LGBTQ+ student organization such as GSA (gay straight alliance, sometimes known as gender sexuality alliance). You may encourage your child to reach out to any such queer student organization because they will find allies there, if not friends, and possibly some connections regarding housing. 

 

If your child requires special housing circumstances due to autism, that is a different matter. I'm not familiar with the role "housing navigator". Is that someone who aids folks with special needs? Note that there should also be an office for student accessibility/disabilities at your child's college. It may be helpful to reach out to them as well - such an office usually only deals with educational accessibility, but they may know of more resources you and your child could access. 

 

I'm not sure why Jewish communities were recommended. 

 

Link to comment

All great points which I will look into, thank you very much!

 

We are waiting to find out about the Dorm housing and should know by this w/e or next week but still way I see it is that will be only a temp solution as I will still need to get him a place in 8 months.

 

Yes, a Housing Navigator is someone who assists the Disability community with housing. 

 

The Navigator had mentioned a Jewish Community as an option because she says his chances of discrimination in their neighborhood would be a lot less. 

 

I like the idea of reaching out to the Student offices who should be a great resource for this but will need to wait until August when classes resume to find out. So for right now, if he should need to get a place before then I am looking for best options.

 

Navigator sent me an available Apartment in the Bronx here in NY earlier this morning but what should I look for far as the neighborhood is concerned is where I'm lost.

 

 

Link to comment

You're welcome. There are many resources on the web which advise about relative safety / crime rates, etc. in NYC neighborhoods. I have several queer friends in Brooklyn and they live happily and safely. Here's an article about queer-friendly areas of NYC. I concur with the Brooklyn neighborhoods listed in the article, as I have spent time in them.

 

https://www.localize.city/blog/lgbtq-friendly-neighborhoods-of-new-york-city/

 

Link to comment

Wow, that's a great start, thank you very much, it will give me some starting points.

 

I think immediate problem though as stated by the Navigator is knowing if an area "where they might have availability" will be safe? As an example early this morning, the Navigator had sent me a listing for an Apartment in Morris heights in The Bronx. So our predicament is how to know if that Apartment will be safe for him?

 

it's not like we can choose any given area and he can go live there. it will depend on the rent for an apartment and also if a landlord will rent to him, see what I mean?

 

 

Link to comment

Yes, of course. Anyone shopping for an apartment, queer or autistic issues notwithstanding, would have the same challenges. It requires much digging, crossreferencing and vigilance to find a place. You can start with determining desirable neighborhoods, then use an online tool such as padmapper to sort by price and other qualities. For instance, here's a screenshot. I searched for studios and 1 bedrooms in Brooklyn. You can see pins on the map showing where the place is as well as photos of the place. You can communicate with the landlords through the app/website too to ask them questions and get a feel for what working with them would be like. It's useful to check out what's available daily because desirable places go fast.

image.thumb.png.009bf6dcc6a30da56663351fe8dff259.png 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 150 Guests (See full list)

    • MaybeRob
    • VickySGV
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. l.demiurge
      l.demiurge
  • Posts

    • Abigail Genevieve
      Hi!   That was probably hard to write and then read and say, did I really write that?  Been there.   I'm glad you call it a journey.  It is.  One step at a time, and sometimes two steps forward, one back.    Abby
    • April Marie
      Welcome to the forums, Violet! We glad you found us! No one here will judge you. Each of us is unique yet we all share some similarities. And many of us are in the relative early stages of self-discovery.   Take time to wander the sections of the forums. You’ll find lots of information and ideas.   Ask questions if you feel comfortable. You will find lots of people willing to share their experiences.   Is it possible for you to possibly work with a gender therapist? Many of us have found that to be extremely helpful in finding our identity and out true selves.   Just jump in. We don’t bite! We’ve all been in some version of where you are.
    • April Marie
      Literally. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Shameless plug for my "Taylor" story down in Stories You Write.  I am not Taylor and the experiences she goes through are not what has happened to me, but there is an emotional expression that I think is the best way to say some things that I don't know how to say otherwise.  I am not Bob, either.  But you might find out some things about me by reading it.  And I hope it is a good read and you enjoy it.  I am not done with it.  If you would like to comment on it, I would appreciate it.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Tuesday night.  They had a quick supper together at a fast food place.  Bob went off to teach karate and Taylor locked herself inside her apartment and worked on her hiring plan.   First the web site problem.  The two guys who ran it were self-taught and knew little.  It currently had three pages, the Home page, the About page and the Contact page,  She asked them to work with Karen in terms of redesigning it and she needed three designs to show Gibbs tomorrow.  The problem was three fold: the two guys and Karen.  Millville was a small town and all three were relatives of members of the Board.  Millville, Millvale. She was doing it.  People here called it either way, sometimes in the space of a few seconds.  She thought it was Millville.  All three had complained about the work, because the two boys regarded it as done and untouchable, even though they actually had not worked on it at all for months.  Like a number of people, they showed up and collected generous pay checks and did nothing.  She had looked at a number of websites and she had been told the company wanted one both internal and external customers could log into.  Her chief difficulty at the moment there was that there was very little content.  She decided to send the three complainers out tomorrow to take numerous pictures of the thirty acres  Or was it forty?  No one seemed to care. She cared, because she needed to get it right.  She debated outsourcing the website to a company, but first she needed something to outsource, and before then she needed to decide whether to keep these people.  She didn't need to mess with them.  So she decided to recommend they hire an experienced website developer with management skills. Would such a person come to Millville?  The schools were good, because the company had poured money into them, and the streets were well paved.  The company had bought all the abandoned houses and maintained them, hoping someday they would be filled again. Millville was crime-free.  People did not lock their doors. Neighborly. Very conservative, but in a good way.  Hard working, ethical, honest. Maybe the Chinese money was corrupting the town?  Not sure.  So she thought they would hire someone, even if it were a remote position.  She would rather have them here, but she would take what she would get.  That would move the website out of her hair. Secondly, she needed an effective presenter.  She could not do all these presentations herself.  She had natural talent but a lot could be passed on. She needed another Mary and another Brenda, or their understudies, effective hardworking people.   Bob. Was he okay with this?  He said she was Management.  Was that a problem?  And she was now earning a ridiculous salary, which she put down to company dysfunction more than anything she had done.  Was that a problem? She was not sure.  He was highly competitive and he had that male ego.  She did not.  A feeling of guilt rose.   Her therapist had brought up her feelings of guilt about not making Dad's expectations, never being the man Dad wanted her to be.  She never could, and this physical evidence backed that up.  What would the doctor say?  She thought about it, and that her therapist said she needed to find a sexual assault survivor's group more than a transgender group right now. Was there one here?  She thought about serving in a women's shelter.  There was one here, oddly enough connected to the church they had visited.  That F on her drivers' license would help.  She was waiting until after she talked to the doctor again to move on that stuff.   Was Bob really buying 160 acres near the old air strip on speculation?  Much of the land around Millville had been for sale for a long time.  That land was being offered at a dollar an acre, the owners having inherited it and now living out of state. Common knowledge.  They would take the first offer, and it had been for sale since the airstrip closed twenty years ago. Airstrip.  That would help.  Not tonight. Focus, girl, she told herself, and read over her notes to do so, which were making less sense the further down she went. It was eleven, and she gave up and went to bed.
    • violet r
      .my name is violet. I'm new here and thus is my first try at forums. I'm 45 and just recently having came to terms of who I really am. Thought a lot of self discovery since I stopped drinking. Drinking was my coping mechanism to hide a lot of thing. There were plenty of signs though the years. As I look back. That i hid inside. Now really sure what made all of this bubble to the surface at this time in my life.  Mabye it was waiting for me to be open minded and ready to accept that I am trans. I have a very unhealthy environment at home that is anti trans. I really don't know what else to say but hi. I hope everyone here will be accepting of me and me work through my journey of finding the real me. I know that since I accepted it I have been much happier than I can remember. Being to real me makes me happy. I hate having to hide this all the the time at home. I work retail management and have no idea if I could even stay in this business if I am to fully come out. Wow that was scary saying all that. It's a first for me
    • Ivy
      It is a lifesaver for a lot of us.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Thanks.  What I do as a man is what a woman would do if she were a man.  There is just something feminine about the way I act as a man.  It's not that being a woman is actually better, or something to aspire to, but it is just that I am one, while not being one.   If beating my head bloody to get rid off this stupid dysphoria would fix it I would find the nearest wall, but I know that if I did that, when I woke up, it would still be there.   If I did not have this struggle I would be someone else and I would be less of a person than I am.  They say an oak tree growing in an open field is far stronger than one in a forest.  The storms come and go and I stand.   This forum is the first time I have interacted with other people struggling with the same struggle and parallel struggles. It helps.
    • Ashley0616
      I'm sorry! :( Hopefully something better will come up
    • Ashley0616
      Thank you! Did great with the kids
    • Sally Stone
      That's me too, Mae.  I don't think it's me as much as it is the camera (that's my story anyway).  Cameras hate me.  I never met one that liked me.  I often wish I was photogenic; sadly, not so much.   However, you look terrific in that selfie! 
    • Sally Stone
      April, I'm so glad things went well when you came out to your spouse.  So often, things can go sideways.  It's a hurdle we all have to jump at some point.
    • violet r
      I totally understand what you just said. I can relate to this very well. I have a lot.of similar feelings.
    • KymmieL
      Well it is a no go for the new position. OH, well. nothing ventured nothing gained.   Kymmie
    • Davie
      Dickey Betts, the singer, songwriter, and guitarist of the Allman Brothers Band whose piercing solos, beloved songs and hell-raising spirit defined the band and Southern rock in general, died Thursday morning 04/18/2024 at the age of 80. Rest in peace...
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...