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What one thing would you tell your younger self about coming out?

Heather Shay

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For me - it is - Don't be afraid. It will be alright and you'll find that inner turmoil will reduce drastically.


How about you - what one thing would you tell your younger self.

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It's ok to be alone. You're wise beyond your years, don't worry or bother with other people's thoughts, their assumptions aren't close to the reality that exists. Get started earlier and don't doubt yourself. Never back down and there's no backup coming. You're front line. Humans are very greedy creatures.

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My younger self tried to get help and was told I wasn’t right for s sex change. By mental health professionals who had no info.  

i would tell younger me to dress more openly and    present feminine everywhere until I found people with info.   So yes Don’t be afraid.  But trust your gut and stay safe while doing it!!!

There was so much fear on my hiding. Including hiding from info itself.  That’s a mean circle of despair!  Attracts some bad things,


If there  had been forums I’d tell her to go to them online and learn.  Ring willing to try and look online again I’d what led to real progress for me

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That I wished that today's resourses were available back in the 1960's when I was a teenager, my life could have been so much different and so much happier.

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Slow down, young one. Don’t be in such a hurry to prove yourself. Let your identity rise up from within, don’t try to impose it from outside. And as for the bullies, they did it because they envied you, or were attracted to you; they did it because they couldn’t face something in themselves. 

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"You're a girl, dummy!"  ;)

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You may think crossdressing will be enough forever, it won't, make the leap sooner. 

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1 hour ago, KathyLauren said:

"You're a girl, dummy!"  ;)

In a nut shell that is it. I would tell myself. to search deep and hard and see that you are a girl.



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"Things aren't gonna make a lot of sense for a while, but don't force yourself to be uncomfortable to make everybody else happy."

I tried being feminine because that's what I thought I was supposed to do, and it only made me feel worse. So if I could tell my younger self one thing, it'd be this. And that I don't have to have it all figured out, it's okay to be confused or unsure. It'll work out in time.

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I would tell my younger self, my Very younger self, that it was OK to feel that way but it was VERY VERY dangerous to let anyone else know (1955).  I would tell me that much later the world would change and I would have a chance of being myself.  Because I didn't hear those words I never took advantage of that change in the 60's and stayed hidden for another 60 years.  Now I'm an old, pot bellied transgender woman hiding in my house because I'm afraid of the (R) and their ilk.  I missed my chance and will regret it forever.

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I would tell my younger self not to stress out, that I would start getting decent relationships in my mid-20's.  I probably would have approached my teen and college years with a lot less anxiety. 


I would also tell my college-aged self that my sister's relationship wouldn't last, and that we wouldn't be parted for long.  She moved away from me for a year and it tore my world apart.  If I had known it was temporary and we'd end up living together after, I wouldn't have stressed out and gone through such terrible depression.

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