When did you really start your transition?

[Red_Lauren.]

This is some thing I was thinking about the other day. Many trans people consider their first day of hrt D-day. I think many of start our transition years before with out really knowing. Because we had plans to transition, but for many reasons we never transition. 

 

I was like 25, 26 when I started buying womans clothes. A few years later. I was wearing womans clothing a lot. I figured my transition was just over the hill, but my finances just weren't there. At 31 I started growing my hair out, started playing with make up some what. Again to transition, but my ex came into the picture, so I stopped my transition goals. 

 

By the start of 2020. I still sucked at makeup, but started going out as Lauren. Then covid hit. Every thing was shut down. Mt ex didn't want to see me because of the covid. When Every thing opend back up. I resumed going out. Because of mask. I didn't have to wear make-up. Since I wasn't seeing my ex munch. I spent more and more time as lauren. The more time I spent as Lauren. The harder it was to go back. By the end of 2020. I was on hrt, but April of 21. I was full-time, and the reast is history..

[Ivy]

Once I admitted to myself (at 67) who I actually was, it went pretty quickly.  I was dressing in public - shaved off the beard etc. and I started looking into HRT (from PP in my case).

 

But this question got me to thinking.  For a number of years I had been humorously more open regarding my feminine tendencies.  They actually went back to childhood, but I had learned to hide them for survival.  Now I was becoming more open about them - jokingly of course.  After all, I had a chest-length beard, was married with grown kids, and all those kind of things.  This gradual process continued until the inevitable happened.

 

So…   Was that time part of my transition, even if I was oblivious to what was happening?  IDK.

[Heather Nicole]

Ooh, good question! Although I'd had thoughts of "It would be so nice to be a girl" since sometime in childhood, I failed to "connect the dots" and realize "I may actually be trans...!" until about 2 and a half years ago. The first transition related things I did after that realization were getting my ears pierced (I'd always wanted that) and getting a gender therapist.

 

But in retrospect, there were transition things I did even before I figured out I was trans.

 

A couple years before I figured myself out, I started growing my hair out. Partly because I realized I preferred having my hair a little longer than it had been, but also because I figured as a "guy" at my age, if I was ever going to try having long hair, it may very well be now or never. My other, more secret, reason was because I wanted to know what it would be like to have long hair or a ponytail "like women do".

 

A little while before that, I found some panties online that were designed for trans women who have...an "outie"-style configuration "down there". I really liked them, and knowing they were made for people who have the same "parts" that I do gave me the excuse I needed to let myself order them, "even though I'm not really trans" (lol). That quickly snowballed into into ordering other women's clothes & accessories that I really wanted to know what it would feel like to wear: sports bras, various tops, skirts, headbands, etc.

 

Also around the same time I decided to stop restraining my mannerisms quite so much. Since I was a kid I'd been "catching" myself whenever I was about to do any kind of mannerism that seemed feminine, to avoid any potential harassment. So around the same time as that other stuff, I started to just stop doing that quite so much anymore, and just let myself move in whatever way is natural for me. I didn't realize until I allowed myself that, just how much I had been repressing before.

 

And then "things" and preferences, too. If I liked a cute pink USB cord or gaming controller or whatnot, or needed a hair dryer or something and liked the pretty purple option better than the "manlyness-compatible" options, then I started letting myself go with what I really liked instead of doing quite so much gender-conforming. Again, this also started maybe around a couple years before I figured myself out.

 

Trimming certain areas of body hair was something I started doing just a little bit of all the way back in college. Even that little bit I felt guilty about, but eventually things changed and at this point I'm just "OMG, all hair below the neck must go! Begone foul stuff!!!" 😆

[KathyLauren]

I don't count all the clues that are so obvious now, in hindsight.  Like how, in all my daydreams, I was a girl.  Or wearing my mother's clothes at age 12.  I really didn't understand at the time what they meant.

 

The earliest I can legitimately date my transition was about seven years ago.  Actually, exactly seven years ago today, if I remember correctly.  I attended a lecture by a scientist who happened to be a trans woman.  It was not hard to figure out that she was trans, but nobody in the audience responded to that at all.  And I was listening afterwards for comments: there were none that were trans-related.  Just about how good a talk it had been.

 

That opened my eyes to the fact that being trans was not a life sentence of weirdness.  People could just do regular stuff in public and be themselves.  "Hmm.  I wonder if I could..."

 

I spent months researching, realized that I really was trans, and then planning to tell my wife.   I was 60 when I started, and 62 when I took my first HRT dose.

[Ivy]

5 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

And then "things" and preferences, too. If I liked a cute pink USB cord or gaming controller or whatnot, or needed a hair dryer or something and liked the pretty purple option better than the "manlyness-compatible" options, then I started letting myself go with what I really liked instead of doing quite so much gender-conforming. Again, this also started maybe around a couple years before I figured myself out.

My experience was similar in this regard.

[MirandaB]

It was two years ago around this time of year when I finally realized what was going on here, and I kinda figure my transition started when I summoned up the courage to call a therapist on the phone and just come out with "I need to transition". 

 

Follow up question would be when do you consider your transition completed?

[Red_Lauren.]

8 hours ago, RhondaS said:

Follow up question would be when do you consider your transition completed?

My hair dresser asked the same question the other day when I got a hair cut, but she worded it different. I told her it depends on the person. Some are ok with just getting on hrt, name change, and no surgery. Some view getting that final surgery off their check list at the end. I told her for me. I'll never be finished. The only surgery I want is a bbl, and maybe a srs, but hormones are lifetime. 

 

She asked what would happen if I stopped taking hormones now. I told her well my breast, and other fat changes won't go away. I'll more then likely start noticing body hair regrowth along with muscle regrowth. The typical male sex drive will return, and probably lose the female type orgsam. She then asked if I would want any of that. I'm like f no especially the female orgsam. She knows how munch I love that, and laughed.

 

 

14 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

 

 

And then "things" and preferences, too. If I liked a cute pink USB cord or gaming controller or whatnot, or needed a hair dryer or something and liked the pretty purple option better than the "manlyness-compatible" options, then I started letting myself go with what I really liked instead of doing quite so much gender-conforming. Again, this also started maybe around a couple years before I figured myself out.

 

I never got the every thing has to be pink thing. If the same hair dryer is 10 dollars cheaper because its black im getting it. I noticed that with makeup brushes also. Which kinda suprised me. I saw some I liked when I was buying some. They wernt just a plan black. I dont recall the color, but kept looking. For 15 bucks less. Where the same brand of brushes. The only difference was color.

[Ivy]

12 hours ago, RhondaS said:

Follow up question would be when do you consider your transition completed?

IDK.  For now it's still a process, and probably will be for the foreseeable future.  I am getting correctly gendered more frequently these days.  That is a good sign.

[Heather Nicole]

6 hours ago, Red_Lauren. said:

I never got the every thing has to be pink thing. If the same hair dryer is 10 dollars cheaper because its black im getting it. I noticed that with makeup brushes also. Which kinda suprised me. I saw some I liked when I was buying some. They wernt just a plan black. I dont recall the color, but kept looking. For 15 bucks less. Where the same brand of brushes. The only difference was color.

 

I don't always go for appearance, many times I'll still go for price just like I always used to. And I'm still generally "function before form". But these days, every once in a while I'll see something really cute looking that does also meet my needs and instead of repressing and avoiding it, it triggers that "OMG LOOK A CUTE BABY SQUIRREL!!" type of reaction in my brain, and I'll be like "F- it, I'm getting the cute one!!!" 😁

 

[Emma De]

This thread has made me think, question, wonder and return multiple times. My story is long and not for here, but I will try and add to the posts read so far. 

 

I knew I was different from a very young age, I was curious and never had barriers to things. I danced ballet from a very young age and was the only non-girl for almost every class, until they split the sexes at 12. I lost a lot of interest when forced into separate lessons. I know I wore clothes, up until senior school, that came from the 'other side' of the shop. I really enjoyed that and wore those clothes out before I grew out of them. My mum said it was because I liked them and finding my size was tough as I was so small then. Coats was a key item as the only colours I liked always came from the 'better side'. As I got older and social pressures and bullies, or fear of them impacted I became more hidden and subtle. Being in a single sex school really impacted me and still does to this day. It was a brutal place in tough times when teachers could doing anything and did. I was lucky as there always seemed to be a bag of second hand clothes in the house that I could look through. Strange really as I had a brother, so why girls clothes would be there I don't know, I have wondered. I learnt how to memorise the order and folding so I could wear and return without anyone knowing. So I kept dressing and I had the house to myself a lot more than was probably good for me, not that I saw it that way. So many stories and memories.

 

Why mention these early experiences? Well I have always known I was different. Then I understood that what I liked was probably 'bad' or 'dangerous' and certainly different. I kept it hidden as was the way in those days and had no name for it. I have always known and lived with 'it'. Taking joy in fashion, art and any opportunity to be me. In recent years I have read, learnt and understood more. I have a name for it now and see so many amazingly brave and proud people who are able to do what I can't, yet. So although I have known, and lived my life in transition, I have never started in the sense of modern understanding of transition, but live each day in my mind transitioning my thoughts, ideas and beliefs from the social norm to my norm. As I reach an age where I am getting more outspoken and honest I feel the pressure kettle will explode and I will transform to the butterfly I have always longed to be.

[Michelle_Anne]

For me probably a few weeks ago when I finally had the courage to reach out for therapy.  Since then I’ve started buying some womens clothes and have been wearing woman’s deodorant for about a week now.  I know that doesn’t seems like much but it’s making me feel more better about myself.  I’m working on looking for a good laser hair removal doctor now.  Just trying to do as much stuff as I can now before taking the serious step of starting hormones.

[claire1000]

I knew something was up as a young child in the  I preferred playing with the girls instead of the boys etc.But back then there was not much alternative but to just push through and live life the best you could in a kind of fake it to make it way.Marriage ,family white knuckiling life the best I could. When the wife died and I was 59 I began grief councelling once a month after many months the therapist  said what's really going on with you, your holding something back she said.Well the flood gates opened and for the first time in my life I told another human how I felt.Fast forward another year and she put me in touch with a gender therapist who specialized in late in  life issues, after a while I came to see that that transition in my sixties was possible.Well on to the endocronolagist , many blood tests, hormone therapy and finally living full time as a woman. Trying to overcome some health issues so I can have confirmation surgery but even if I can't I am finally living a trully happy life. So if I had to pick a date it would be with the grief therapist 11 years ago,God bless her heart because she saw through me.

[Red_Lauren.]

On 7/4/2022 at 11:51 AM, Heather Nicole said:

 

I don't always go for appearance, many times I'll still go for price just like I always used to. And I'm still generally "function before form". But these days, every once in a while I'll see something really cute looking that does also meet my needs and instead of repressing and avoiding it, it triggers that "OMG LOOK A CUTE BABY SQUIRREL!!" type of reaction in my brain, and I'll be like "F- it, I'm getting the cute one!!!" 😁

 

I don't think I got the cute gene. I'm way to munch of function over fourm.

 

As for knowing when you were younger. I grew up as a normal boy till about 10. I really didn't figure out I was trans will about my early teens. I honestly found out by mistake. I was looking at adult stuff back on dial up, and what loaded was a beautiful blond with big breast, and male equipment. I figured it was fake, but couldn't get it out of my head, so after many months of Google search. I found out about trans woman. Then everything clicked 

[MomTGDaughter]

The lockdowns of early 2020 gave my daughter a window of opportunity to start early since she didn't have to go to school in person, so she transitioned in late March of that year. We both talked about it and though for her to finish her school year and start in June 2020, but stay at home order made it eaiser to start earlier. She had already started growing her hair out before that since she was planning to transition anyway.  

[Michelle Janelle]

Just checking in after a few months.

 

Today is Day 1 of * mg Estradiol and * mg Spironolactone, finally! I just picked up my prescription of a 90 day supply of each. I had to wait until my blood pressure got under 130 before my doctor approved the prescription. I was pleasantly surprised that she gave the prescription for the Spironolactone without waiting for a month or two. 

 

This is August, so I'm a week into month 5 of Electrolysis with significant progress. 

 

Cheers.

Michelle 

Edited August 5, 2022 by MaryEllen
Removed hormone dosages per rule 13

[Saoirse 2]

On 7/3/2022 at 8:48 AM, Jandi said:

Once I admitted to myself (at 67) who I actually was, it went pretty quickly.  I was dressing in public - shaved off the beard etc. and I started looking into HRT (from PP in my case).

 

But this question got me to thinking.  For a number of years I had been humorously more open regarding my feminine tendencies.  They actually went back to childhood, but I had learned to hide them for survival.  Now I was becoming more open about them - jokingly of course.  After all, I had a chest-length beard, was married with grown kids, and all those kind of things.  This gradual process continued until the inevitable happened.

 

So…   Was that time part of my transition, even if I was oblivious to what was happening?  IDK.

Same here, I loved the jokes, because they let me express what had been eating away at me for decades in a safe but ultimately unsatisfying way. Kind of like running a marathon and then chugging diet cokes for energy.

[Girl From Mars]

I consider my transition to have started the minute I decided that was the way I had to go. It was October 2019 and I told my closest friends straight away. From that moment the person I had been was gone and I'd begun growing into the real me at last.

[Emma De]

On 10/5/2022 at 11:45 PM, Girl From Mars said:

I consider my transition to have started the minute I decided that was the way I had to go. It was October 2019 and I told my closest friends straight away. From that moment the person I had been was gone and I'd begun growing into the real me at last.

I understand that feeling. It makes me also recall the feeling of being 4 or 5 and just wanting to dance and be in the ballet class as I truly felt. Alas that was not allowed and was squashed out of me as all my other attempts were for years. Not that it stopped the secret I held.

[Trans22]

I suppose my private transition really started the day a psychologist told me that I had been born with a female mind - 31-Aug-2021.   I told my wife of the discovery that evening - didn't realize the risk I was taking because transgender didn't enter my vocabulary until the following day.  My public transition started on 31-May-2022 when I made an almost spur of the moment decision to come out with people I work with.   As an extra, I consider 01-Jun-2022 to be the day of my rebirth because that was the that I started living authentically in private and public.

[Emma De]

I don't have a set date, as I am not fully out by  very long way. Each day is a step, I may never be brave enough. Even being on here is a step and a victory. I know I have to move forward but fear, guilt and worry freeze me. My wife knows, that went well and I believe that gives me hope. Doctors and therapists know but have not helped me move forward as I have so much else going on in my life.

On day maybe, but for now, each day I live is celebrated in a low key, I'm still here kind or way.