Being Trans in College

[DylanB1452]

I would love to hear others' thoughts about being FTM and in college. Im a senior in high school now, and no one knows I'm trans. Is college a more accepting place with mature enough individuals to where I can tell people without it affecting relationships, people making jokes, etc?

 

Does anyone have any experiences being trans in college that they would like to share? What was that like? Were you able to have a "normal" college experience without other people viewing and treating you differently? 

[WillowA113]

Hey I noticed you’re new! Welcome to transgenderpulse, I hope you enjoy your time here! We dont often get teenage members on here. Im 17. If you ever want a friend (Ik I do) you can chat with me! 
I definitely think it depends on the college. Is the area the college is at accepting? Do you know accepting people going there? Does it have lgbt clubs? 
I haven’t ever been to a college because im still in high school, but Im not sure anyone can definitively answer that. Every school is different.  

[DylanB1452]

I'm still applying, but all of my top schools I believe are generally extremely accepting and offer a variety of clubs/organizations for underrepresented populations like those in the LGBT community. That being said, I would hope that an accepting school also means and accepting student body, but I've found those don't always come hand in hand.

 

Also, I am really enjoying my time here, thanks for reaching out

[WillowA113]

1 hour ago, DylanB1452 said:

Also, I am really enjoying my time here, thanks for reaching out

No problem. Feel free to pm me if you want and I can even give you my number! 

[awkward-yet-sweet]

When I took classes after high school, I thought the environment was a bit better.  I was in an art and graphics program, which is probably a more accepting environment. But I also still had no idea of my real self at that point, and my ability to date was basically non existent.  I didn't have a relationship until I was 26.  

 

Sadly, some aspects of high school never end.  There are always jokes, stares, comments.  People don't grow up 🙄

[Vidanjali]

@DylanB1452 I was not out in college, but I'm a former college professor. Most colleges have GSA (gay straight alliance, aka gender sexuality alliance) club. Many colleges also train faculty and staff on diversity-equity-inclusion with the option to designate oneself as an ally & one's office or classroom as a safe space (or safe zone). Naturally, you can't guarantee everyone will be accepting, but if you make the effort to learn which professors are active allies, you may meet more open minded students taking their classes. It may take some time and effort to find good and supportive people to associate with, but if that is your desire, you will find them! 

[Sol]

Going through this process now @DylanB1452! 

Granted, I'm enrolling in a smaller community college in Alabama, so my chances of finding a sexuality alliance club is slim. 

If you feel comfortable doing so, you could try and talk to your counselor to ask about any clubs if you're unsure. I'd ask this after getting your classes registered or finding a list of clubs on the school's website (there should hopefully be a page for that).

I wish you the best of luck, and I hope this helped some. 

[Russ Fenrisson]

I see things have gotten better about this subject and sometimes, as mentioned, it really does depend on where you live. The advice@Vidanjali gave is the best when it comes to trying to find like-minded individuals or how accepting a school is. You'll be surprised on what you'll find.

 

What I can say is do what you feel is comfortable in regards to being yourself while in school. Whether that be about clothing, how you present yourself, or the name you prefer to be called, do as you feel comfortable doing. I went to college in a conservative state so I was a bit timid presenting as trans in public. I didn't come out fully, but I wore clothing that was comfortable to me that gave off a masculine image while also working towards having a shorter haircut. 

 

People in college are a bit more understanding when it comes to LGBT issues, but do understand some people do not share these same ideas. As you go to college, be mindful of those who might not share the same ideals but always be on the look-out for those who could be a potential friend or ally. These people can help going to school be more comfortable and give you time to live in the role you most want to live in. College is the one place to find yourself and learn about your identity as you explore it. If you remain mindful, you're sure to have a fun and rewarding time as you go through college.

[Lexi C]

Hey Dylan

My sis was a Dean and LGTBQ counselor at some of the top Ivy league college.

Her advice was simple. 

You don't need to go to college to be true to yr. 

You really need to start by been honest with your family and loves now.

However, if you feel that would cause a financial strain or endanger you any ways, then by all means try to apply to liberal college. You will find acceptance will be a lot easier

[DylanB1452]

Hello All,

 

Thank you for all of these great points. My top school at the moment is Rice University in Houston, which had been viewed as extremely accepting, but you all did make a great point in that you'll meet so many people all with different views, many of which may be conservative.

 

I have fully transitioned and go to a high school with around 800 kids, all of whom do not know I am trans (besides my twin sister). But because of that, I feel I am not able to participate in clubs and extracurricular things revolving around the community. I am essentially just complaining now, but its nice to know I have a space to say whatever.

 

Thanks for the advice everyone

[DB_Cooper]

I've been in college for the past three years (it's Further Education rather than Higher Education) and I haven't had a problem with any of the other students since maybe my first week in the first year and he got kicked off the course shortly afterwards for an unrelated incident. I wasn't on T at that point. Everyone's been cool, I occasionally have to remind people of pronouns but they're not people that speak to me on a daily basis. 

[Roach]

I think everyone else has pretty much covered the important stuff, I just wanted to share some anecdotes about my uni.

 

I'm heading back in a few weeks. I am pre-everything. I'm out to a handful of my friends, but I am hesitant about "coming out" to the school. (Essentially, changing my preferred name in the system.) I wouldn't want people to challenge me. I only pass to strangers, but not very well to people around my age. Maybe in the worst case scenario, I can pretend I'm a cis woman with an unconventional name.

 

I do know a fair number of queer people at my university, and there have historically been issues. There are people that have vandalized the gender-inclusive hall. On the other hand, all of the cis friends I have made seem to be very chill about trans people. Additionally, all of the professors I've had were very respectful of people's pronouns, etc.

 

There is a community vaguely similar to a GSA that I discovered in the last few weeks of the previous semester. It doesn't ONLY focus on LGBT groups, but they are definitely part of it. I definitely feel a lot safer knowing they are on campus.

It's pretty funny, my first year at this uni, several cis people asked me about my pronouns when I met them. I hit them with the classic "I don't really care" (a blatant lie). I was just surprised that people would straight up ask me that, which I kind of appreciated (they would care about referring to me correctly), but also kind of hated (I am still pretty closeted).

 

Anyway, I'm interested to know anyone else's experiences.

 

On 8/8/2022 at 3:41 PM, DB_Cooper said:

he got kicked off the course shortly afterwards for an unrelated incident

I love it when situations solve themselves. Glad you aren't having too many issues @DB_Cooper.

[Russ Fenrisson]

@RoachThat's an interesting experience. I see more and more schools are having more inclusion and groups and clubs that focus on LGBT people and their issues. I'm glad you were able to find some people you click with. When you go back, I hope you have a fun time.

[Roach]

Thanks! Yeah it is definitely nice to see @Russ Fenrisson