Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Being Trans in College


DylanB1452

Recommended Posts

I would love to hear others' thoughts about being FTM and in college. Im a senior in high school now, and no one knows I'm trans. Is college a more accepting place with mature enough individuals to where I can tell people without it affecting relationships, people making jokes, etc?

 

Does anyone have any experiences being trans in college that they would like to share? What was that like? Were you able to have a "normal" college experience without other people viewing and treating you differently? 

Link to comment

Hey I noticed you’re new! Welcome to transgenderpulse, I hope you enjoy your time here! We dont often get teenage members on here. Im 17. If you ever want a friend (Ik I do) you can chat with me! 
I definitely think it depends on the college. Is the area the college is at accepting? Do you know accepting people going there? Does it have lgbt clubs? 
I haven’t ever been to a college because im still in high school, but Im not sure anyone can definitively answer that. Every school is different.  

Link to comment

I'm still applying, but all of my top schools I believe are generally extremely accepting and offer a variety of clubs/organizations for underrepresented populations like those in the LGBT community. That being said, I would hope that an accepting school also means and accepting student body, but I've found those don't always come hand in hand.

 

Also, I am really enjoying my time here, thanks for reaching out :)

Link to comment
1 hour ago, DylanB1452 said:

Also, I am really enjoying my time here, thanks for reaching out :)

No problem. Feel free to pm me if you want and I can even give you my number! 

Link to comment

When I took classes after high school, I thought the environment was a bit better.  I was in an art and graphics program, which is probably a more accepting environment. But I also still had no idea of my real self at that point, and my ability to date was basically non existent.  I didn't have a relationship until I was 26.  

 

Sadly, some aspects of high school never end.  There are always jokes, stares, comments.  People don't grow up 🙄

Link to comment

@DylanB1452 I was not out in college, but I'm a former college professor. Most colleges have GSA (gay straight alliance, aka gender sexuality alliance) club. Many colleges also train faculty and staff on diversity-equity-inclusion with the option to designate oneself as an ally & one's office or classroom as a safe space (or safe zone). Naturally, you can't guarantee everyone will be accepting, but if you make the effort to learn which professors are active allies, you may meet more open minded students taking their classes. It may take some time and effort to find good and supportive people to associate with, but if that is your desire, you will find them! 

Link to comment

Going through this process now @DylanB1452

Granted, I'm enrolling in a smaller community college in Alabama, so my chances of finding a sexuality alliance club is slim. 

If you feel comfortable doing so, you could try and talk to your counselor to ask about any clubs if you're unsure. I'd ask this after getting your classes registered or finding a list of clubs on the school's website (there should hopefully be a page for that).

I wish you the best of luck, and I hope this helped some. 

Link to comment

I see things have gotten better about this subject and sometimes, as mentioned, it really does depend on where you live. The advice@Vidanjali gave is the best when it comes to trying to find like-minded individuals or how accepting a school is. You'll be surprised on what you'll find.

 

What I can say is do what you feel is comfortable in regards to being yourself while in school. Whether that be about clothing, how you present yourself, or the name you prefer to be called, do as you feel comfortable doing. I went to college in a conservative state so I was a bit timid presenting as trans in public. I didn't come out fully, but I wore clothing that was comfortable to me that gave off a masculine image while also working towards having a shorter haircut. 

 

People in college are a bit more understanding when it comes to LGBT issues, but do understand some people do not share these same ideas. As you go to college, be mindful of those who might not share the same ideals but always be on the look-out for those who could be a potential friend or ally. These people can help going to school be more comfortable and give you time to live in the role you most want to live in. College is the one place to find yourself and learn about your identity as you explore it. If you remain mindful, you're sure to have a fun and rewarding time as you go through college.

Link to comment

Hey Dylan

My sis was a Dean and LGTBQ counselor at some of the top Ivy league college.

Her advice was simple. 

You don't need to go to college to be true to yr. 

You really need to start by been honest with your family and loves now.

However, if you feel that would cause a financial strain or endanger you any ways, then by all means try to apply to liberal college. You will find acceptance will be a lot easier

Link to comment

Hello All,

 

Thank you for all of these great points. My top school at the moment is Rice University in Houston, which had been viewed as extremely accepting, but you all did make a great point in that you'll meet so many people all with different views, many of which may be conservative.

 

I have fully transitioned and go to a high school with around 800 kids, all of whom do not know I am trans (besides my twin sister). But because of that, I feel I am not able to participate in clubs and extracurricular things revolving around the community. I am essentially just complaining now, but its nice to know I have a space to say whatever.

 

Thanks for the advice everyone

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

I've been in college for the past three years (it's Further Education rather than Higher Education) and I haven't had a problem with any of the other students since maybe my first week in the first year and he got kicked off the course shortly afterwards for an unrelated incident. I wasn't on T at that point. Everyone's been cool, I occasionally have to remind people of pronouns but they're not people that speak to me on a daily basis. 

Link to comment

I think everyone else has pretty much covered the important stuff, I just wanted to share some anecdotes about my uni.

 

I'm heading back in a few weeks. I am pre-everything. I'm out to a handful of my friends, but I am hesitant about "coming out" to the school. (Essentially, changing my preferred name in the system.) I wouldn't want people to challenge me. I only pass to strangers, but not very well to people around my age. Maybe in the worst case scenario, I can pretend I'm a cis woman with an unconventional name.

 

I do know a fair number of queer people at my university, and there have historically been issues. There are people that have vandalized the gender-inclusive hall. On the other hand, all of the cis friends I have made seem to be very chill about trans people. Additionally, all of the professors I've had were very respectful of people's pronouns, etc.

 

There is a community vaguely similar to a GSA that I discovered in the last few weeks of the previous semester. It doesn't ONLY focus on LGBT groups, but they are definitely part of it. I definitely feel a lot safer knowing they are on campus.


It's pretty funny, my first year at this uni, several cis people asked me about my pronouns when I met them. I hit them with the classic "I don't really care" (a blatant lie). I was just surprised that people would straight up ask me that, which I kind of appreciated (they would care about referring to me correctly), but also kind of hated (I am still pretty closeted).

 

Anyway, I'm interested to know anyone else's experiences.

 

On 8/8/2022 at 3:41 PM, DB_Cooper said:

he got kicked off the course shortly afterwards for an unrelated incident

I love it when situations solve themselves. Glad you aren't having too many issues @DB_Cooper.

Link to comment

@RoachThat's an interesting experience. I see more and more schools are having more inclusion and groups and clubs that focus on LGBT people and their issues. I'm glad you were able to find some people you click with. When you go back, I hope you have a fun time.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 148 Guests (See full list)

    • MaybeRob
    • Mirrabooka
    • Heather Shay
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,015
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bowie Ellis
      Bowie Ellis
      (19 years old)
    2. Damien Mcknight
      Damien Mcknight
      (18 years old)
    3. JJ
      JJ
      (77 years old)
    4. KathyLauren
      KathyLauren
      (70 years old)
    5. memyselfandwe
      memyselfandwe
      (44 years old)
  • Posts

    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      When do you know you've had enough surgery?
    • Heather Shay
      Another week completed with more inregration.
    • Heather Shay
      Relief (emotion) Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org › wiki › Relief_(emotion)         Relief is a positive emotion experienced when something unpleasant, painful or distressing has not happened or has come to an end.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Loving this woman I am becoming.
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!! I was up early again - already on my third cup of coffee having walked/fed the dog and read the local paper.   We have a birthday party for a friend to go to this afternoon but no real plans otherwise.   I hope to be able to attend tonight's TGP Zoom session. It's been weeks since I've been able to participate with the illness/loss of our dog, two horrible colds in succession and our trip to chase the solar eclipse.   Have a wonderful day and look for the goodness in it.
    • April Marie
      I think we tend to be overly critical of our looks, whether we're trying to express ourselves as masculine, feminine or anywhere along the gender spectrum. For me, I use photos as a way to track my progress, to help me find my style and look and to help me find ways to improve myself in posture, looks, make-up, style......   I didn't really think about our FB avatar being public but then realized that when people search they do see it.   Since I'm not out to anyone but my wife, therapist, priest and people here, my FB page remains "that guy." I have created a Bitmoji that is relatively androgynous moving slowly towards the feminine. Long gray hair, earrings, softer features...I'm transitioning it along with myself. :-)
    • April Marie
      I so very much enjoy your posts. This one, though, hit home with me for many reasons. I was commissioned in the Army in '77, as well. Like you, I was not overly masculine in the way that many of our contemporaries were. I (still do) cried at weddings, pictures of puppies and babies, when I talked about bring proud of what my units accomplished and was never the Type A leader. In the end, it worked for me and I had a successful career.   This is, of course, your story not mine so I won't detail my struggle. It just took me much longer to understand what the underlying cause of my feelings was and even more to admit it. To act on it.    Thank you for sharing your story, Sally.
    • Sally Stone
      Post 6 “The Military Career Years” In 1977 I joined the Army and went to flight school to become a helicopter pilot.  To fly for the military had been a childhood dream and when the opportunity arose, I took advantage of it, despite knowing I would have to carefully control my crossdressing activity.  At the time, military aviation was male dominated and a haven for Type A personalities and excessive testosterone.  I had always been competitive but my personality was not typically Type A.  And while I could never be considered effeminate, I wasn’t overtly masculine either.  Consequently, I had little trouble hiding the part of my personality that leaned towards the feminine side.    However, serving in the Army limited my opportunities for feminine self-expression.  During this period, I learned that being unable to express my feminine nature regularly, led to frustration and unhappiness.  I managed these feelings by crossdressing and underdressing whenever I could.  Underdressing has never been very fulfilling for me, but while I was in the Army it was a coping mechanism.  I only cross-dressed in private and occasionally my wife would take me out for a late-night drive.  Those drives were still quite private, but being out of the house was clearly therapeutic.    I told myself I was coping, but when it became apparent the Army was going to be a career, the occasional and closeted feminine expression was clearly inadequate.  I needed more girl time and I wanted to share my feminine side with the rest of the world, so the frustration and unhappiness grew.  Despite my feelings regarding feminine self-expression, I loved flying, so I wasn’t willing to give up my military career.  Consequently, I resigned myself to the fact that the female half of my personality needed to take a back seat, and what helped me through, was dreaming of military retirement, and finally having the ability to let Sally blossom.   About Sally. Ironically, she was born while I was still serving.  It was Halloween and my wife and I were hosting a unit party.  I looked upon the occasion as the perfect excuse to dress like a girl.  After a little trepidation, my wife agreed I should take advantage of the opportunity.  Back then, my transformations were not very good, but with my wife’s help, my Halloween costume looked quite authentic.  Originally, my wife suggested that my presentation should be caricature to prevent anyone from seeing through my costume.  But that didn’t appeal to me at all.  I wanted to look as feminine and ladylike as I could.   To my wife’s and my amazement, my costume was the hit of the party.  In fact, later in the evening, my unit buddies decided they wanted to take me out drinking and before either me or my wife could protest, I was whisked away and taken to one of our favorite watering holes.  Terrified at first, I had an amazing time, we all did.  But on Monday morning, when I came to work, I learned that I had a new nickname; it was Sally, and for the duration of that tour, that’s what I was called.  Well, when it came time for me to choose a feminine name, there weren’t any other choices.  Sally it was, and to this day I adore the name, and thank my pilot buddies for choosing it.   And this brings me to my last assignment before retiring.  I was teaching military science in an Army ROTC program at Mercer University in Macon, Georgia.  I had been a member of TRIESS (a nationwide crossdressing support group).  I wasn’t really an active participant but when we moved to Georgia, I learned there was a local chapter in Atlanta.  I reached out to the membership chair person, and joined.   Because the chapter meetings took place in Atlanta, a trans friendly city, and because Atlanta was so far from Macon and any of my military connections, I felt it would be safe to let my feminine hair down.  The monthly meetings took place in the Westin Hotel and Conference Center in Buckhead, an upscale northern Atlanta suburb, and the hotel itself was 4-star.  The meetings were weekend affairs with lots of great activities that allowed me to express myself in a public setting for the first time.  It was during this time, that Sally began to blossom.   I have the fondest memories of Sigma Epsilon (the name of our chapter in Atlanta).  Because the hotel was also a conference center, there was always some big event, and in many cases, there were several.  One weekend there was a nail technician conference that culminated in a contest on Saturday evening.  When the organizers learned there was a huge group of crossdressers staying at the hotel, they reached out to us looking for manicure volunteers.  I volunteered and got a beautiful set of long red fingernails that I wore for the duration of the weekend.   During another of our meeting weekends, there was a huge military wedding taking place, and imagine what we were all thinking when we learned it was a Marine wedding.  Our entire group was on edge worrying we might have to keep a low profile.  It turned out to be one of the most memorable weekends I would experience there.  First off, the Marines were all perfect gentlemen.  On Friday night and throughout the day on Saturday before the wedding, we rubbed elbows with most of them and their wives in and around the hotel, and at the hotel bar.  In fact, we got along so well the bride invited us to the reception.  Somewhere, there is a picture of me with a handsomely dressed Marine draped on each of my arms, standing in the lobby of the hotel.  Sadly, I never got a copy of it because the woman who took the picture used a film camera (yes, they actually took picture that way in ancient times).    My two-years with Sigma Epsilon was the perfect transition.  I went from being fully closeted to being mostly out.  I enhanced my feminine presentation and significantly reduced my social anxiety.  It also signified the end of one life and the beginning of another.  I had a great career and never regretted serving, but I was ready to shed the restrictions 20-years of Army service had imposed on my feminine self-expression.  My new life, Sally’s life, was about to begin, and with it I would begin to fully spread a new set of wings, this time feminine wings.    Hugs, Sally
    • Sally Stone
      Ashley, for a very long time she clung to the term crossdresser, because for her it was less threatening.  Over the years, though, she has come to recognize and acknowledge that I have a strong feminine side.  And like me, she now has a much better understanding of where my transgender journey is going, so me being bigender, isn't the threat she might have perceived it as, years ago. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://apnews.com/article/title-ix-sexual-assault-transgender-sports-d0fc0ab7515de02b8e4403d0481dc1e7   The revised regulations don't touch on trans athletes; which I totally understand, as that's become a third rail issue and this is an election year.  But the other changes seem pretty sensible, and will obviously result in immediate right wing lawsuits.   Carolyn Marie
    • missyjo
      darling you have wonderful taste..I especially love the red dress n sneaker outfit   enjoy   missy
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...