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bad healthcare interaction today


MellonCollie

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hey all, just wanted to share a trans-related difficulty I experienced. I had a normal PCP appointment with a new dr. today, and I feel like he was probably transphobic. I told him the medication I take, revealing that I'm trans, which first led to him saying how he's not really a trans healthcare specialist and other people would be better, but that he guessed he could be my PCP. I was mainly coming into contact just to make sure someone could call the right needles into the pharmacy for me, but he began, in a very rude tone, to ask me about an annual visit, at one point rhetorically asking "an annual visit means once a year, correct?" I am not too sensitive as a person, but this really sucked. There's also more, but I just wanted to vent generally. More details if anyone wants, lol. I also don't want to call someone transphobic without knowing them, but just very intensely felt like he began to speak to me differently after finding out that I am trans. thanks for reading 

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I'm so sorry you felt slighted.  I think a PCP is an important relationship, which makes it so much more important to find one who has your best interest at heart.  Hopefully, you have the ability to pick someone else.  A few years ago I had a PCP I didn't like at all.  Professionally, he seemed very competent but we just didn't jive.  I picked someone else and was very happy for the change.

 

Hopefully, you can find another physician who specializes in trans health care, or at the very least, someone that isn't going to hold it against you.  Best of luck.

 

 

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Ick.  That's so unpleasant....and sadly I think it is too common.  I've never really found (or wanted) a PCP, and I had to go to another city a couple of hours away to find an ObGyn that seemed LGBTQ+ friendly.  Hopefully you won't have to go that far.

 

I don't get how some doctors act.  Some act like they think they can order you around....like they own your body.  Others are openly unfriendly to LGBTQ+ folks.  I thought that the Hippocratic Oath committed doctors to unselfish, confidential service and doing no harm?  My husband's mother is a retired doctor.  Even though she tends to personally dislike people like me, she's said multiple times that her personal views got hung up at the clinic door on the same rack as her coat....because all patients deserve good care as a human right. 

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@awkward-yet-sweet I myself have a sibling who is both a Dr. and homophobic- it definitely can happen all too easily, when people don't really consider us as people they might actually have to interact with, I think. @Sally Stone I'm going to try to book an appointment with someone who specializes in trans care. It really stinks to feel like a bother when you're just trying to get prescriptions :(

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  • Admin

I've experienced similar, hon.  I had an endo who I liked who was treating me for diabetes.  I asked him if he was OK also handling my HRT.  He said he wasn't comfortable, and gave no other reason.  At least he was honest.  I found another after my PCP checked around for me.  I suggest you do the same.  Whether transphobic or or just a jerk, it isn't worth seeing a doctor you don't like or don't trust.  Hopefully your clinic/health care provider has other choices.  I wish you luck.

 

Carolyn Marei

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  • Admin

You do actually have several Trans Health Clinics there in New Your which might be an option.  I have had my share of doctors who shot off the target with me, my PCP thought he could treat GD with Xanax and Prozac.  My current Endo who covers both my Diabetes and HRT wanted to learn and has found our HRT stuff to be helpful for her cis patients with hormone problems.  You can find a great doctor, they are there.

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Yes, a PCP is an important doctor to have. You deserve one you like. Mine has been a life-saver and a great supporter over the years. When I came out to her last year, she was both supportive and happy for me, called  me brave. Told me all the variety of services for trans patients. Get one of those. We all deserve good medical care, even though we do live in the USA where it's not allways possible. Keep looking, asking for respect, expecting to find a good doctor.

yours,

Davie 

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@MellonCollie  unless this provider is the only provider you can find, I’d run not walk to the next PCP.  I had a doctor I really liked.  He wasn’t LGBTQI phobic at all, but, he would prescribe related medications for me.  He did however send/referme to Charleston S C.  There I have found a great team, very welcoming, always call me by preferred name,etc.  they are out there.  I’d check to see if there is a state trans page on Facebook and ask them for recommendations.  It sounds like this PCP isn’t going to be much help.

 

Good luck, 

 

Willow

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For me the VA is a mixed bag.  I do have some good support there.  But my endocrinologist will only do the bare minimum.  I think that is only because he has to.  

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  • Forum Moderator

Yeah, that's a thing here: I can be refused treatment because I'm trans. I always start new doctor interactions with, "Hey, I'm trans. Is that going to be a problem?"

 

If a PCP isn't working for you, there are other options. All my interactions now are either with supportive doctors or through the network that helped me transition in the first place. If you feel like there's going to be friction, find a new PCP.

 

Hugs!

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13 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

I can be refused treatment because I'm trans. 

 

Even here in Massachusetts where we legally have protections, there are still doctors who are clueless about trans care.  @Jackie C. is spot on!  Ask. Avoid problems by finding doctors who are helpful for you and not placing obstacles in your way.

 

Astrid 

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Good morning 

 

Something I find interesting about trans care good and bad, I live in the Bible Belt now.  Anti transgender, anti abortion ultra conservative.  Yet, I haven’t had any problems with my neighbors, doctors, or waitstaff at restaurants.  And I don’t kid myself, I do my best but I don’t fully pass.

 

My original PCP worked with my therapist about me.  But he wasn’t willing to prescribe HRT.  But he also said he wouldn’t prescribe E for menopause either.  But he sent me to a good Endocrinologist, spent hours talking to me and my wife.  My current PCP calls me Willow every time, all the time.  All the doctors and therapists where I get my transgender care always call me Willow.  This even though  my legal name is not Willow.  
 

Good doctors that will respect you are out there even in the states where we are shunned, so keep looking.

 

Willow

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Hi @Willow. Interesting post. I was most intrigued by the first paragraph, where you said you haven't had any problems with your neighbors, waitstaff, doctors, etc., despite living in the Bible Belt. Could it be that, and this is a genuine question, the media et al may have gotten it wrong about the deep South? Or that there has been some exaggeration about the way they feel in the south about the LGBTQ+ community? While I admit I don't know, your post has got me wondering.

 

That said, I'm glad you have a good PCP and Endocrinologist.

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6 hours ago, Marcie Jensen said:

you said you haven't had any problems with your neighbors, waitstaff, doctors, etc., despite living in the Bible Belt. Could it be that, and this is a genuine question, the media et al may have gotten it wrong about the deep South?

The media does often get things wrong about the South.  I also live in the Bible Belt.  Yes, there are Trump flags etc. and my neighbors tend to be conservative.  But I have had no trouble from them so far.  I live full-time, and certainly do not pass.  Most southerners are just normal people, and tend to be friendly, or at least polite.  I do feel safe in my community.  Of course, I also avoid places where I feel uncomfortable, but I suspect it is that way everywhere when it comes down to it.  Charlotte is the closest large city to me, and it is very diverse.

 

To get back to the media, there seems to be a bias against the South.  If you have a southern accent many non-southerners assume you are stupid.  Maybe it comes from movies IDK.  The politicians get a lot of press, but this political attack on trans folk, is not unique to the south.

 

I was born up north, but have lived most of my life (well over 50 years) here in NC.  I have no desire to go back up north.

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5 minutes ago, Jandi said:

The media does often get things wrong about the South.  I also live in the Bible Belt.  Yes, there are Trump flags etc. and my neighbors tend to be conservative.  But I have had no trouble from them so far.  I live full-time, and certainly do not pass.  Most southerners are just normal people, and tend to be friendly, or at least polite. 

This is pretty much my experience.  I live in a very rural area....where people say the "hillbillies" live.  People are mostly too busy working to be mean to each other.  Life is also hard at times, and neighbors genuinely need each other.  A friend in need is a friend indeed, as they say. 

 

For some reason, medical care is the weird part...so I had to go a couple hours away to get what I needed.  Of course, I had to go into town to find medical care anyways, and that's a different place from the rural area where I live.  I kind of wonder if the doctors in this area are originally from here, or came from elsewhere.  The experience is just so different from the general population. 

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Happy Sunday Morning

 

Regarding my post about living in the south.  I don’t know that I got my experiences wrong, but I might not have conveyed them fully.

 

Politically, I am an outcast.  The politicians refuse to see us as constituents or do anything for us.  At best, they ignore us in SC.  Which I find interesting and preferred to working against us.  Yes the media hypes EVERYTHING up,  Doesn’t matter who they vilify as long as they do.

 

Since I live on the Grand Strand, we have a very high population of northern transplants.  Retirees.  The workers are locals, commuters because they can’t afford the housing here or immigrants.  But they know who is paying them so they are very nice as well.

 

The way I see it it’s is the politicians and the media.  Certainly not everyday people at least not near the coast.

 

Willow

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On 8/6/2022 at 9:27 AM, Marcie Jensen said:

Hi @Willow. Interesting post. I was most intrigued by the first paragraph, where you said you haven't had any problems with your neighbors, waitstaff, doctors, etc., despite living in the Bible Belt. Could it be that, and this is a genuine question, the media et al may have gotten it wrong about the deep South? Or that there has been some exaggeration about the way they feel in the south about the LGBTQ+ community? While I admit I don't know, your post has got me wondering.

 

That said, I'm glad you have a good PCP and Endocrinologist.

I live in the Florida Panhandle, a fairly redneck, Bible belt area & haven't experienced any major issues living as my true self. While the politicians seem to target us as Hitler did the Jewish population in Europe IMO, the folks I meet & do business with are accepting, or at least tolerant. I do get mis-gendered a lot, but not always. A few neighbors seem to avoid me, but that's their baggage. 

 

One thing I found interesting was a few weeks ago a candidate for school board in a nearby county said doctors who provide transgender care should be hung (I paraphrase) & there was a lot of applause from the crowd. It made me think the prejudice may be there under the surface, but needs a pack mentality situation, or intoxication to come to the surface.

 

Hugs!

Delcina 

 

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There are many options for care available. Unfortunately, some areas are like a healthcare desert when it comes to transgender or LGBTQIA+ care, or counseling. Yes, South Carolina is one of those states. Other options include finding a qualified nurse practitioner or a physician assistant. Caring and healthcare is not owned by any one group, and all patients have a right to compassionate competent care. The good news is that there are more programs to teach healthcare providers about transgender and LGBTQIA+ health matters. I see a family nurse practitioner who has an incredible background in family medicine and psych. She readily accepted me as a patient without any question. 

 

You do not have to accept being treated as being subhuman or as a piece of meat. Vote with your feet. There have also been inroads to expanded Telehealth options. The one area that is unfortunately not keeping pace is the ability of non-physician psychiatric counselors to use Telehealth. While covid was more active, the emergency declarations allowed the psychiatric counselors to see patients across state lines. When the declarations ended, the long-distance counseling via Telehealth ended. Interesting, there is an interstate compact allowing psychiatrists and psychologists to operate with equivalence among the compact member states. The licensed psychiatric counselors were not included in that measure. That may change in the future. Finding counseling can be hard. When I first tried to find a counselor, I found a few that were either disinterested, and one who was clearly hostile about the possibility of counseling me.

 

-Katie

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18 hours ago, Jandi said:

To get back to the media, there seems to be a bias against the South.  If you have a southern accent many non-southerners assume you are stupid.

This is a Great Truth. My children's godparents--both born in the north--make this assertion, as do two of my oldest friends, both of whom are very progressive in their politics believe this. They trust the media implicitly. And for the record this is not an attack on progressives, rather it is an observation based on my experience alone. I'm from the south, and Aay time my accent comes out, people assume that I'm an illiterate bumpkin. They get shocked when I tell them I have both an MDiv and a DMin. THen they assume I'm a Bible thumping right wing fanatic; which I'm not.

 

Stereotypes are all across the spectrum, and they need to go away. People simply need to take folks for waht they are rather than trying to put them into neat little boxes.

 

Sorry for the rant. THis hits close to home.

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6 hours ago, Delcina B said:

One thing I found interesting was a few weeks ago a candidate for school board in a nearby county said doctors who provide transgender care should be hung (I paraphrase) & there was a lot of applause from the crowd. It made me think the prejudice may be there under the surface, but needs a pack mentality situation, or intoxication to come to the surface.

This is what scares me as well.  People are susceptible to a mob mentality.  They can turn on their neighbors that they have known and got along with for years.

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1 hour ago, Jandi said:

This is what scares me as well.  People are susceptible to a mob mentality.  They can turn on their neighbors that they have known and got along with for years.

History proves that.  Multiple times.  Although Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia are probably the easiest examples.  But get past the "low-hanging fruit" and it is basic human nature.  You survive by being part of the pack.  Unfortunately, "othering" everybody else comes right along with that. 

 

Knowing this, as a society we have to figure out how we can make the pack more inclusive.  People like to say that diversity is strength...and to some extent it is.  But focusing on diversity seems to make people a bit cliquish.  Reaching for broad similarities is probably a safer bet...and maybe also the key to achieving decent medical care as well. 

 

I've noticed that where I live, the similarity that has worked is a distinct local identity.  It is all about "we live here."  That sense of locality has overridden ethnicity, class, and religion.  Maybe someday we'll have medical care in our rural area without going to town.  I could trust that in a way I can't trust elsewhere. 

 

 

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Don't forget about this resource from another thread below:

(It's kept updated I think.) Petra Jane has it pinned.

 

——"I track anti-trans legislation all over the country and run the largest trans healthcare map, an informed consent map listing every informed consent hormone therapy clinic for trans people." 

— Erin Reed  @ErinInTheMorn

https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/1/edit?mid=1DxyOTw8dI8n96BHFF2JVUMK7bXsRKtzA&ll=10.618046571630678%2C-106.85700125&z=3

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