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My name is Helen, I am afab and I've been trying to figure out my gender identity but it's been scary and I created this account to communicate with people that are experiencing or have already experienced this before. I'll turn 22 in November, I'm studying performing and digital arts and I'd love to hear your experiences and meet you ☺️

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  • Forum Moderator

Welcome Helen,

I'm glad you found us. This is a really safe place and well protected. I know there are many who have or have had gender identity questions and no doubt it is scary. I want you to know you'll find truthful answers, support and affirmation in whatever helps you arrive at knowing and feeling good about who you are.

I might suggest a wonderful workbook I came across a couple years ago called You and You Gender Identity by Dara- Huffman-Fox. It's about $15 on Amazon. It really helps YOU ask yourself pertinent questions to help guide you to finding out just who you are and your journey is unlike anyone else yet similar backgrounds and thoughts do occur across the spectrum.

Good Luck, know you are NOT alone and thanks for being here and being honest with yourself.

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi Helen,

Welcome to Transpulse. I"m glad you're here.


Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf🐾

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Greetings, Helen, and welcome to the forums. There's a lot of kind and awesome people around and I'm sure you'll find a few you can click with. Just know, as you're learning about yourself, it might take time and it won't happen over night. It generally takes time and when you figure out what works for you, it is generally very rewarding.

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Welcome Helen! Glad you're here! This forum, the book Heather mentioned & an amazing gender therapist have helped me overcome the fear you mentioned.


As for the outwardly appearance part, I've gone from scared to death to step out as myself in the dark of night a year & a half ago, to living as my transgender femme self. Today I was at the library, a young couple sitting a few tables away. The young man turned & saw me, whispered in the woman's ear, who then turned & looked. I smiled & gave her my friendliest princess wave. It was actually kind of fun. 


There's a few other aspects to it for me, like emotions & relationships. It's been a journey I didn't ask for, but one now that I'm on it has me feeling so much more comfortable than ever before.


I hope you find the wonderful support, advice & acceptance here as I have.






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16 hours ago, el.diak said:

I created this account to communicate with people that are experiencing or have already experienced this before. I'll turn 22 in November…

Hello @el.diak and welcome to our support forum. Your statement above caught my attention. I was just mentioning to someone here that I too became vividly aware that I was transgender (though I used a different term back in those days) at that similar age (23 in my case). It seems to be a very common point in time in many transgender individual’s lives where questioning begins.

I also started questioning everything at that point in my life. Up until then, my thoughts, my desires, my needs told me I was female inside but all the societal “indicators” and my physical appearance told me otherwise. I’m curious…prior to the age 22, were there some things (or possibly events) that you experienced and/or learned about yourself that led you to understand your gender was likely different from what society had imprinted on you? If so, what was it that led to your revelation that made you push forward to learn more about your true nature? No pressure or need to answer of these at all…just a friendly inquiry and things to ponder.


I’m happy you have joined us here. I hope to learn more about you and your journey as you yourself learn more along the way.


Warmest Regards,

Susan R🌷

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Hello and welcome @el.diak . I'm glad you reached out. When you're questioning your gender, it's beneficial to talk about it with others who have been / are going through the same thing. Like you, I'm afab. In retrospect, I have experienced dissonance with my assigned gender since early childhood. But, I didn't begin to really examine and question until just about three years ago (I'm 47 now). This community has been a Godsend, as far as I'm concerned - I was craving having other trans people to connect with. Here, I've found friends and brave compassionate souls who have helped me as I've been discovering my gender. I hope you will also have such a gratifying experience. 

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Hi Helen! I started out where you are, and I can only give glowing recommendations for TransPulse. 

Questioning your gender identity is pretty overwhelming and scary, but I can offer a bit of advice that helped me. 

You don't have to have it all figured out in a short time period. And it's okay to try out multiple different identities to find one (or more!) that you resonate with. And, as always, there's no shame in asking questions! 

So, welcome to TransPulse, and I wish you all the best on your gender journey!

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